Chapter 7

-2013-

"What does that machine do?" Kate asked, pointing to the tube that disappeared into Bella's mouth. I was tempted to tell Angela to ignore her question, because we'd gone over it every time Kate had come to the hospital, but I knew I couldn't do that. She was just as anxious about her mother's condition as the rest of us were, and asking the same question ten different times was simply the way she expressed that.

"It's a ventilator," Dr. Weber explained. "Your mom has been asleep for such a long time that her lungs forgot how to work. So the ventilator helps her breathe. It pumps oxygen into her body and pulls carbon dioxide out."

Kate scrunched her nose up and cringed. "Does it hurt?"

"We gave her some medicine so she can't feel it." Angela's answer seemed to relax my daughter, to the point that she managed to stay quiet for a whole ten minutes.

"When is mom gonna wake up?" I looked at Tanya, who went to Kate's side.

"Do you want to go get some ice cream in the cafeteria?" Kate nodded.

"Can I go too?" Riley asked.

"That's fine." I pulled out my wallet and handed Tanya a twenty. Once all of the kids were out of the room, Angela closed the door.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Edward?"

"Make her wake up," I offered. Angela smiled sadly.

"I would if I could." She pulled up Bella's chart and entered a few things in it. "I'm going to do my ward rounds, but I'll be back when I'm done. If anything should happen, press the call button and a nurse will be here."

I lowered one of Bella's bed rails and sat down gently on the mattress. Though the coma-inducing drugs had left her system, there had been no changes whatsoever to her physical appearance. Her skin remained pale, her eyes were closed, and the only movement was the up and down motion of her chest as the ventilator did its work.

I'd fought to keep Bella by my side on numerous occasions throughout life, but this fight—the one her body was waging against everything and everyone—was like nothing I'd ever experienced. I'd thought that knowing she was no longer heavily medicated would make things easier on all of us. I thought that it would take away some of the worry we felt and maybe even spark a bit of excitement inside of us. As it turned out, the absence of her medically induced coma only made me more anxious. Each breath from the ventilator was another breath she wasn't taking on her own. Each beep of the monitors marked another heartbeat that she probably couldn't even feel, and each minute that passed by was another minute this woman—the love of my life, mother of my children, and most amazing person I'd ever come to know—was still unconscious.

"Damnit, Bella!" I shouted to the empty room. The anger that had been simmering just below the surface was finally boiling over. I was on the verge of having the meltdown that Emmett had asked me about.

I fisted my hair in my hands and slumped over, succumbing to the mess of tears that were looking for a release. "I can't do this without you, Bella," I sobbed. "I can't raise these kids on my own, take care of our house on my own … hell, I can't even sleep in the fucking bed on my own. My life isn't mine unless you're a part of it. Please come back to me, baby. Please come back. I'm not me without you here."

I let my hands fall to my sides as a torrent of tears poured from within me. Every sad night, every confusing day, all the sadness and hurt and anger that I felt, left my body through my eyes and flowed freely down my cheeks.

I was so caught up in my emotional meltdown that I didn't notice when Bella's hand slid toward me. I felt it when her fingers squeezed mine though. My heart stopped beating, my breath caught in my throat, and though I opened my mouth to cry out loud, no sound came out.

I turned my head slowly, crumpling on top of her when I took in the sight.

Bella's eyes were open.

And they were focused on me.

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