A/N: I'm posting this chapter early for all the lovely reviews you guys posted. It made writing this chapter a million times quicker for some reason! So, my greatest thanks. My week has been difficult beyond this. Real life has a way of sucking the energy right out of you and I'm experiencing this drain as I prepare to post this chapter up. At least this routine and speaking with you guys is one happiness that I can always count on.
And on we go.
Rating: Rated T for mature themes.
CHAPTER SEVEN: DEPARTURE
"Oh my god!" Granger exclaimed.
I honestly didn't blame her for being horrified and disgusted as she obviously was. Just being in my dingy little flat in the dingy part of town that I could afford to live in was probably mentally disturbing enough. The state of Nott on my extremely tiny little cot, all bruised and battered with only my threadbare blanket wrapped around him… well, it's safe to say I was sufficiently mortified at having Granger there. But there was nothing I could do, really. It just had to be done.
"Yeah, I apologize for the location," I said, hoping to gloss over that sore, embarrassing topic. "I just couldn't risk moving him, you see. Not quite sure about the extent of the damage and…"
But Granger didn't really seem to hear me, her gaze concentrating solely on Nott with an intensity I hadn't seen in years. It made me slightly envious of the man, though he was out of it. All he'd had to eat in a the past week was soup, bread, and alcohol, so I couldn't really blame him. I suppose I should've been happy that Granger barely noticed my poverty. That was at least a bright side to all of this indignity. I could only imagine her taking back her offer to work with her after she saw the state I lived in. It was pathetic and entirely too vain, especially since my so-called friend was dying right before the both of us.
She was performing what looked like diagnostic spells, not that I would know anything about that. I hadn't learned much healing magic, hadn't ever felt the need to. My mother had always been a sufficient healer when I'd lived at the Manor under the Dark Lord's rule. Granger, on the other hand, probably had needed every spell she could get her hands on.
The thought of that made me cringe, though she didn't notice, so that was entirely alright.
"What happened to him?" she asked me randomly in between what I assumed was fixing Nott's extremely damaged rib cage.
"Uh…" I hadn't expected her to speak to me, so I was naturally startled. I even had to clear my throat. "Well, when I found him, he was being beaten by a shopkeeper, you know… down by the end of Diagon Alley? Course, can't tell you if it was the start of it or not. Nott's got a bit of a death wish."
"I'm right here, you sorry prick," Nott growled, grimacing in pain. He had finally woken up, opening an eye to glare at me. When he caught sight of Granger, leaning over him, brandishing her wand in complex movements, he jerked back, screeching like a girl. "What the hell? What are you doing here? Malfoy, what the hell is wrong with you? Why would you bring her here?"
"Hey, don't talk like that in front of a lady," I said. Nott stared at me like I had lost my mind and brought him to hell in the process. Granger looked at me oddly too, as if I were a curious case she just couldn't figure out. I couldn't bear it so of course I ignored her. "Well, what was I supposed to do? I couldn't just let you die here in my bed. I can't afford a funeral right now, you ungrateful bastard."
Nott just rolled his eyes at me, gesturing for Granger to proceed. And she did, biting back a smile rather unsuccessfully. I don't know what she found amusing since it was supposed to be a rather grave situation, but the sight of her amused face made me want to laugh out loud like nothing else.
It's odd now. The rest of that day is a blur. Granger managed to fix Nott up to the best of her abilities – which were incredibly better than my sorry attempts – and had even gone and purchased a cherished bottle of skelegrow for him. Nott and I couldn't get over that little act of charity, but it got even worse. She went with me to the Daily Prophet offices so that Greengrass could officially relieve me of my duties. When I had least been expecting it, she put in Nott's name to take up my just vacated spot. Of course, Greengrass couldn't refuse Granger, so Nott had a job just like that.
All my problems solved, just like that.
As I lay next to Nott that night, not being able to sleep, we both couldn't understand how we had gotten so indebted to Granger in the matter of a few hours. Nott owed her a life debt. I owed her everything I possessed, even my labour. She had all but waved away our thanks and just smiled, giving me an advance on my paycheque, telling me to buy warmer clothes for Bulgaria.
"You're playing with fire, mate," Nott had said right on the brink of sleep. "You shouldn't have gone to her."
I nudged him lightly. He knew the story. I had only told him about five times. He knew I hadn't gone to Granger. She'd obviously come to me. As if I'd go actively looking for a death sentence like that. But what could I do? She was a flame and I was a moth. I hadn't been able to say no.
"If I hadn't, you'd have probably been dead in another week," I reminded him.
"So be it," Nott growled. I cringed. "It would've been better than this. She practically owns you, Malfoy. I don't care about me, I can handle it. But now you're her personal lap dog, don't you see? You threw away what little freedom you had!"
"So be it!" I mimicked hotly. "What did you want me to do, hm? Let you bloody die on my bed? What would you mother say, you ungrateful prick!"
"My mother's dead," he seethed. "And you're worse than dead come tomorrow. Who knows what she's going to make you do?"
"It's Granger," I reminded him. "She's… not like the others."
"Why, because she smiled at you? Is that it, Malfoy? Are you just another lovesick brat?" Nott nearly shouted. "What the hell is wrong with you? You need to run away before they get to you or… tell her you can't go with her and you and I will manage somehow."
His concern touched me. No one had really cared about me in such a way, not since my mother had been put away to St. Mungos. It almost brought tears to my eyes. But what could I say to him? I'm drawn to Granger like nothing else. I know she's danger but I can't stay away. Or, I can't break my promise because I'm sure she'll send Aurors after me, putting you and I both in Azkaban? It all sounded pathetic even in my head. Truthfully, I didn't have a good reason. I just needed the change. I craved it with all my being. But I couldn't say that to Nott, not after the two weeks we'd spent in camaraderie.
So, I clapped him on his healed shoulder and faked a smile, instead.
"I promised you we'll make it through," I said to him. "And we have. You're going to go to work and keep your head down. I'm going to go work for Granger and save up what I earn. I'll come back for you and we'll make a run for it. Find some other poor Slytherins to tag along while we're at it and whatever."
He gave me a long hard look, then, one that asked me if I seriously expected him to accept the bullshit I was spouting. I met it dead on. I couldn't back down now. He must have felt that he owed me too much to demand anything more. After all, it wasn't just Granger to whom he owed a life debt. I'd saved him, too. There was resignation on his face when he nodded his head, patting my shoulder gruffly.
"Alright, then," he said simply, composed. His voice sounded sure, but he and I both knew that that was never going to happen. "We'll make a run for it."
He knew before even I did. He could see right through my feeble attempts at lying.
Hermione Granger was going to be my undoing and I was just going to let her.
/
It was around half past five in the morning when I arrived at the Ministry of Magic. The building was silent, imposing, and forbidden to the likes of me. I knew this because I'd stupidly gone to my usual backdoor entrance to try and get it. It had been locked with powerful spells and a chain. Though I suspect the chain was more for visuals than anything else.
It was a good thing I knew how to use the visitors entrance, or I'd have probably missed the portkey. I couldn't help wondering that if I had, would Granger would have waited for me? I still can't be sure of the answer to that question.
There was a group of people gathered near the apparation points. Most of them didn't even bother looking up as I exited the visitor lift as quietly as possible (and failed). To their credit, they didn't even blink, not even one of them caring that I was there. Either they didn't know who I was – My Death Eater glory and all that good stuff – or they were wells schooled actors and had been told that I would be tagging along uselessly.
"Malfoy!" Granger exclaimed at me, rushing towards me when she caught sight of me. "How are you?" I'm sorry this is so early – I tried moving up the apparation time, but they just wouldn't let me – did you get here okay? Didn't have any trouble, did you?"
"Um…" I just stared at her. What else could I do? Interrupting her tirade would've probably gotten me kicked off this adventure trip and made me jobless. "Yeah, I'm fine, I'm-"
"Great! Have you eaten yet? You probably skipped breakfast, didn't you? I did as well, only, Roger brought a whole thermos full of coffee for me and I don't even drink coffee, but-"
"I can see why, Granger," I said, unintentionally cutting off her insane ranting. I swear I hadn't meant to. The sight of her just brought it out of me involuntarily. Like verbal diarrhea. My heart was beating irregularly in my chest. No one had spoken so many useless and meaningless things at me in years. There hadn't been one order peppered throughout that entire crazy speech. "You should probably be cut off, I reckon."
She grinned at me, actually grinned at me, as if I'd made some kind of funny joke instead of potentially insulted her. She had been about to respond, probably say something witty and beautiful, her perfect pink lips parted, but someone called on her attention. She gave me one last innocent smile and bustled off to deal with last minute details probably. I stared after her, probably a little more intensely than I should have. I wanted more meaningless order free conversation. No demands just… pleasantries.
"You had better watch yourself, mate," I heard from behind me. I turned to find Roger Davies standing there, staring at me in pity. It was an odd thing to behold, seeing that on someone's face. I vaguely recalled him for Hogwarts, barely just. He had obviously seen the entire exchange.
"Pardon?" I asked, just to be polite.
"No one's going to spit on you here, Malfoy, we don't really roll that way if you catch my drift…" He seemed distinctly uncomfortable. As if acknowledging my sub-human status out loud was degrading him somehow. "But if you cross that line with Hermione Granger…"
I nodded at him. He thankfully just nodded back and stalked away in the direction Granger had gone, leaving me there by myself. I watched the preparations to leave before me, steeling myself. Davies' had made his threat clear. I hadn't even thought about wanting to just talk to Granger for thirty odd seconds and the world had sent me a ringing warning.
None of that for you, Draco.
You made your bed. Now you bloody lie in it.
So I put a clamp on my desire, hitching my meagre bag of belongings higher up on my shoulder. I had every intention of coming out of this alive. I wasn't to make small talk with any of these people. I was to keep to myself and follow all orders. I could feel the subservience that I had developed over these last few years take over me. If I was like this, I reasoned, it would be like Davies said. They wouldn't tear into me or beat me into a bloody pulp.
Nevertheless, in those five minutes that remained before we were due to leave to Bulgaria, I stood there and basked in the easy glow of those perfect smiles Granger had directed towards me and only me. As if I wasn't a disgusting individual not worthy to lick the dirt off her shoe. It made me warmer than I deserved to feel.
And then, as we all gathered to grasp onto an old copy of the Daily Prophet, I stared at her determined face and stamped out any and all feelings I had towards her.
/
No one really bothered talking to each other much, not unless it was absolutely necessary. I imagined it was because of the early hour of the morning and sleep deprivation, despite Granger attempting to offer everyone caffeine.
There were a total of ten people that composed the British Delegation that was to attend the Pureblood Solution conferences held in Bulgaria. This included me. They were all of varied backgrounds. From ex-Death Eaters like myself, to Ministry workers like Granger, to researchers, and even an American – it was a serious good mix. Despite that, I felt no animosity, not against me, the American, or anyone else. It was an alarming change.
To be honest, I was waiting for one of them to corner me and attack.
It never happened.
When we arrived at our destination, it looked nothing like a conference (but I suppose I knew nothing about such things so who was I to judge). But it seemed that this is where we were to stay. No one really bothered to explain things to me and I didn't bother asking since it seemed like a redundant exercise. In any case, they were all busy with their own lot, each seeing to a number of things that apparently urgently needed to be attended to.
We were at some sort of lodge that had Bulgarian Aurors running in and out all day. Apparently my job was to mind the group's luggage, which I suppose wasn't too horrible a job. I sat on the only chair in the biggest room of the place, not bothering to get up and wander off. Granger didn't have time to spare me even a single glance. She seemed busy to the point of exhaustion, to the point where every time I caught I glance of her scurrying about, a wave of tiredness swept through me.
Lunch time came and went. Some of the team members walked past me (not acknowledging me of course, much too busy with their respective tasks) with various food items. I didn't bother hunting for food. It looked like something that would get me in trouble. And anyhow, I had brought only part of my miniscule savings. I didn't want to waste it on something as frivolous as lunch. Who knew how long this trip could be? Granger had said two weeks give or take.
I wasn't really in a position to buy myself lunch every day for two weeks.
Catching glimpses of Granger throughout the day made me lose my appetite all together, anyway. She was like a well-oiled machine. Never too frantic, never bothered. She didn't even stop to eat herself, so I assumed she must've run on just pure magic. Or caffeine. It was probably the caffeine.
It was a pretty good day, in all. All I had had to do was sit there and people watch. No running about and doing demeaning tasks. No overlord to serve. No Mr. Greengrass glaring at me for existing. I didn't even have to talk to anyone, not that anyone wanted to talk to me. If this was how the next two weeks were going to progress, it was probably going to be fun. Relaxing. Something like vacation. I had no idea what Theo had even been worried about.
The lights dimmed in the room at about half past nine in the evening. After that, not that many Bulgarian Aurors came through. I wondered why that was, just in passing. Not that I cared much. They hadn't given me any trouble. I hadn't seen any of the team members in a few hours. That I did care about and wondered if I was expected to just sit here the whole time.
Granger found me sometime past ten. I knew the time and remember it quite well because there was a clock mounted on the wall opposite me. She seemed to be actively searching for me, which I found weird. It wasn't like she'd just stumbled upon me all willy nilly. Her eyes widened when she saw me and her pace quickened towards me.
"There you are!" she exclaimed, slightly panting. "I've been looking everywhere for you. No one's seen you in ages, and I checked your room but you weren't there…"
"My room?" I asked her stupidly.
She paused, her mouth open in the most attractive way. "No one showed you to your room, Malfoy?"
I just shook my head.
She smacked her forehead in frustration. "Have you just been sitting here all day? Have you even eaten?"
She seemed so guilt ridden that I shrugged. "Sure, Granger."
I could tell by her narrowed eyes that she didn't buy it, not for a second. I had the decency to flush, I suppose. I don't know where it came from or why, but I was genuinely embarrassed for being clueless. I probably should have put in more effort. She was paying me after all. But I had hoped that I could get away with being unnoticeable for a while. Surely she wouldn't fault me for that. I briefly wondered whether she'd send me home for wasting her time.
"Come on, then," she said with a huff. "Everyone's already eaten, but they shouldn't have packed up dinner just yet. We can grab something and I'll show you to your room."
I barely had time to pick up my belongings before she was off again, bouncing along like the ball of energy that she was. I had absolutely no idea how someone could be so energetic when they'd been going at it for over eighteen hours. She was tireless. I was slightly impressed – that is, I would've been slightly impressed if I felt anything for the girl at all. Which I did not. I absolutely did not. Not even the slightest bit of gratitude or curiosity.
"So…where exactly are we, Granger?" I asked when she looked like she was going to burst with awkwardness at having to walk anywhere with me. I suppose I had to take pity on her. "Are we holding your conference in this drab building, then?"
"Goodness no!" she exclaimed. "I swear I told Roger to brief you this morning, but it must have slipped my mind…"
Ah, so there it was. Not going to judge me, what bullshit. She was rambling again, but I only half listened. It wasn't as if it mattered anyway. I knew how this was going to play out. They might've had the decency not to spit on my face and stomp me to death, but they sure as hell weren't going to accept me into their fold. Davies had probably purposely left me out of the loop, left me there to sit clueless all day long. He had probably made Granger worried for no good reason. I was going to have to watch myself even closer.
"You know how the Bulgarian are with the secrecy," she was saying. "So we're stuck here for the night. They don't even trust us to take a portkey to the capitol, so we're going by train tomorrow."
That sure made a lot of sense. "And what's this place?"
"Military checkpoint," she said.
There wasn't much need for conversation beyond that point. We'd entered what looked like a cafeteria or a communal kitchen. Or both. Granger walked towards a fridge, just like that without any thoughts of repercussions for stealing, and started to pull out a bunch of food items. I assumed she thought half of them were for me, but I couldn't be sure. I slowly went by to stand next to her, keeping one eye on the door in case we were caught, reprimanded, and sent to jail.
When she saw me within arms distance, she dumped half of the things in my arms, officially making me accomplice to her crimes. My heart started to beat a little faster. Maybe she expected me to pay for all this. I didn't have that kind of money, obviously. But she continued to just rummage around to her desire. Before I knew what was happening, she was already back on her way out the door.
"Coming?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at me.
So. Theft it was, then. I just sincerely hoped we wouldn't get caught.
"So…" We were three hallways down before my heart started to calm. "We can just take whatever we want, then?"
Granger was in the midst of biting into an apple. I'm not quite sure why, but the sight of it made my mouth water. And it had nothing to do with the apple, I'm sure. I was too nervous and mortified to be hungry.
"Of course, Malfoy," she said, with a slightly disturbed look on her face. "The Ministry's paying for all expenses on this excursion. They're cheap, but they're not that cheap, if you know what I mean. Here, this is you."
She rummaged in her pockets for a key, which she tossed at me, indicating a door that we'd stopped in front of. I caught it, of course, seeker reflexes and all. But opening the door with all that food in my arms, it made me clumsy. I hadn't had a meal like that since the war if you can imagine. It made my heart thud right in my throat. Granger had obviously noticed because she didn't walk off. And when I saw her looking at me, the look on her face was depressing. As if she thought I was pathetic or something.
I mean, it was true and all, but she didn't have to be mean enough to let me know. Stupid know-at-all mud-
"If you need anything, Malfoy, I'm in that room over there. 310," she said sincerely, even pointing in the right direction, no doubt to be helpful. "You'll be okay?"
Of course. Of course I'll be okay, Granger. I've survived this long and I didn't need you to help me do it. Who do you think you are, waltzing into my life and taking pity on me as if I'm some sort of charity case? As if I'm some sort of House Elf that needs protecting!
I didn't say any of that, though. All I did was nod and thank her.
"Goodnight then, Malfoy," she said, her face a mask of seriousness.
I waited until she'd gone before going into my designated room (which was bigger and cleaner than anything that I'd become used to). I sank down to the floor with my back sliding against the door, even though there was a perfectly sturdy desk in the corner with a lamp on it and a pretty spacious bed, even big enough to accommodate my long legs. Nothing like the mattress at home. I looked down at the dinner she had picked out for me and stared, a little helplessly. My immediate thought was to stash half of it away in my bag for later. Just in case.
And looking at it all brought stubborn tears to my eyes, helpless that I was even thinking of such things. Helpless that I had to resort to charity. Helpless that I even wanted it.
I didn't cry though. I swear to you, that night I didn't cry.
She was long gone and she couldn't hear me. But after I'd eaten my fill, stashing away what could be saved easily without suspicion, I lay myself to bed and whispered it back.
"Goodnight, Granger."
A/N: This chapter reflects my mood pretty well. Fancy that. Please please please take a second to let me know what you thought!
I read recently somewhere that reviews are better than sex - shall we test that theory?
Until next week, here's an excerpt of the next chapter:
"Might want to slow down there, Malfoy," she said finally, when I had finished demolishing my pancakes. "You're going to make yourself sick."
"Still going after the caffeine, I see," I retorted.
Unsigned Reviews:
To my French reviewer: Bonjour! Je ne parle pas beaucoup de fracais, mais vous parlez parfaitment l'anglais! I hope this chapter answered your questions and I'm very glad that you're enjoying. Much love.
To my anonymous reviewer: I was flattered to hear that you've been a fan :). I can't say that there won't be suffering but I can assure you that I truly believe in the strength of endurance. I can't really comment about the plot beyond this because I wouldn't want to give away any spoilers. Have a lovely week!
