Bit of a short one I'm afraid, but my omniscient Beta acted as adviser and I trust her :D
Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock. How much more blunt do you need to get?
Chapter 7: Technology
Ebay's versatility was mind-blowing. How much more specific did he have to get?
"Does it have to be pink? I mean, the colour is hardly inconspicuous...and I just don't think it was the type of shade you would've gone fo-" Jim's dawning face of horror was deeply savoured.
"It's not for me."
"-and I personally thought black or blue would suit you better, maybe a bit of purple or red – what?"
"It's not for me! And you want to deck me out in the colour of cuts and bruises? The most spectacular ones form in the-"
"Abdominal region. Yes, personal experience has done me proud. You have no idea how much a blow to the stomach with a soup ladle bruises. Next time, I make dinner." A subtle side-glance and an arch of an eyebrow. "Your pouting is pitiful."
Jim made a surprisingly feminine expression. "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." He recited.
"You're quoting Chaucer at me?" Seb blinked.
Two days ago, Jim came up to Seb to tell him that he needed a phone case in a – frankly – violent shade of pink. In Seb's opinion, he had handled the situation pretty well, with only the occasional remark questioning why he would be in need of a case when he changes phones every other week.
"You hate touch screens Jim, so I don't see why you think that the iPhone 5 prototype – which you're making us steal from the factory – is really necessary."
"I do like touch screens! And anyway, all the other criminal masterminds have them."
"You know other criminal masterminds?"
"Of course! You have your group of ex-army fanatics, I have my masterminds. We meet up on alternate Wednesdays to discuss tear gas and the Dos and Don'ts of criminal masterminding over tea and scones– though I changed that soon enough to meringues, scones do get stuck in your teeth sometimes, and more often than not we have some evil confrontation straight afterwards."
"I need you to scratch the bottom left corner 3 inches in and drop it on its side a few times. In replicas the details are too easily overlooked."
"Why can't you do it? It's not really that difficult."
"I have nefarious plans to execute, and manual work is beyond me."
"I live to serve." Seb quipped dryly. Which of course went either unnoticed or ignored.
"Nice to know, Seb."
"I now need you to write like a girl."
"What does a girl write like?"
"How am I meant to know?"
"So you expect me to have it in my inexhaustible store of knowledge that is my brain?"
"If your brain is anything like Google, which I personally doubt, then yes. Otherwise, take the calligraphy lessons I've booked for you."
"Jim! I'm an anonymous sniper, 6"3 and carry a Sig Sauer in my coat pocket. You can't expect me to take calligraphy lessons!"
"Well, you can be a 6"3 anonymous armed sniper and a master in calligraphy. A contradiction in terms, Seb, can be invaluable at the worst of times, trust me." Those last two words struck fear into his heart.
The funny thing was, he already did.
