7. Just how perfect you are

The day turned in to a night and the night turned in to a new day, but Arthur barely registered the sun and the moon at all. Everything was hazy in his head and being alone didn't help him like he had thought it would. Instead he felt like he was going crazy, trying to remember to bathe and eat and drink.

He had of course got a new manservant for himself, but most of the times he just dismissed him so he could be alone. That was why his chambers had slowly but steadily become a total mess, clothes lying everywhere, bed open with sheets rumpled and old pieces of food filling the big wooden table in the middle of the room.

It had been two days since Merlin left, well left Arthur's chambers anyway. Arthur hadn't been in contact with anyone so he had no idea if Merlin was still in Camelot or if he had travelled to Ealdor already. Arthur was feeling miserable, trying to get used to this new feeling of Merlin not being around calling him names and just being the clumsy adorable idiot he was. After all, they had been together for several years already, the servant and his Prince, later being the King of Camelot when his father died. They had experienced so many adventures together, they had been near death more times than you had fingers to count, they had saved each other's lives hundreds of times and now it all had come to an end. But most of all Arthur just missed Merlin's presence, witty comments and remarks, honesty and loyalty. Arthur missed the passion Merlin had with everything he did, the desire to walk beside Arthur to the ends of the world. Arthur missed his servant's blue eyes that were like an ocean where you could drown yourself in to if you let, almost be able to see Merlin's very soul when looking at those beautiful eyes.

"This has to stop." Arthur mumbled aloud and shook his head. He finally decided to take a hold of himself again, he was the King of Camelot after all and had plenty of duties to take care of. He couldn't possibly stay in his chambers forever. First of all he called his new servant Elric to clean his room and polish his armor. He would be going to practice with his knights later, but first he went to the throne room where the dinner was set for him already.

It was late in the evening when Arthur finally came back in to his chambers, which was now cleaned and the bed was made and the table hold some bread and cheese and wine. He gulped a whole goblet of wine and poured some more. He had noticed that training was a good way to keep his mind off of Merlin and he had been training maybe more than would've been really necessary. Body aching and muscles burning he unwrapped himself from the heavy chainmail even though it took forever, but he didn't want Elric around if it could be avoided. He then fell down on the bed after he had gulped the second goblet of wine and again thoughts he had tried to avoid the whole day started to bounce inside his head. Sighing miserably he got up again to drink some more wine and when the bottle was emptied after some time and his head was spinning because of the alcohol, he let himself fall asleep on the bed, without a single thought of anything.

The next day Arthur slept quite long, the sun was already high on the sky when he slowly opened his eyes and got up from the bed. Walking along one of the long corridors of the castle going to the throne room for breakfast, he saw Gaius ahead of him and called out for him.

"Gaius! Wait a minute!" The old man turned around and smiled when recognized the face that was calling for him.

"Good morning, Sire. I hope you slept well." He bowed slightly at his King.

"Very good actually, thank you. I was just wondering… How is Merlin? Is he still in Camelot?"

Gaius's smile faltered a little when he answered.

"He is quite fine, Sire. Well, was at least the last time I saw him… He left to Ealdor yesterday morning and I haven't heard of him since then."

"Right, ok. How about his arm?" Arthur continued his interrogation worriedly, but tried to sound casual.

"Quite fine, Sire. I fear… The broken heart will take more time to recover than the wound on his arm…" And Arthur could feel how the old man's eyes bore in to his own, like trying to see through him. For a moment he just opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, but soon collected himself again.

"But he was using magic! I had no other choice, Gaius. Surely he told you this?" And when the other man had nodded he continued.

"I can't make exceptions, the law is law. I should've killed him you know that, but I just couldn't…" And he had to swallow, because he could feel the familiar lump forming in his throat again. When he didn't or couldn't continue more, Gaius spoke up.

"I understand your decision, Sire, but it doesn't change the fact that Merlin is devastated and I could guess you miss him too, am I right?"

"Well yeah, I do miss him…" But then Arthur realized what he was talking about and with whom and he shut up.

"Anyway, I need to be going. Thank you for the information, Gaius." And with that he strutted to the throne room as quickly as he could without making his heart race any harder in his chest.

Honeythief by Halou

youtu. be/kXA7DAVnRew

Sometimes I doubt the path I chose
Sometimes my dreams feel all on hold
There's no doubt that this will make me strong
Because it's the hardest thing I've ever done

Despite this cruel world
And all my best efforts
You surprise me with just how perfect you are

Even with all my flaws
And my bad examples
You surprise me with
Just how perfect you are

And when I'm lost
You search for me
And when I doubt
You're my belief

I'm suppose to be
The stronger one
You always seem
To prove that theory wrong

Still, I hold my breath each time you go
Out in the world that's beyond my control
If you are dreaming
I never want to wake you up

When I'm all in a spin
Full of cynicism
You remind me of just how perfect you are

When I'm at my wit's end
And I'm losing my head
You remind me of just how lucky I am