Thanks for all the comments and reviews! :) They made me smile and laugh. I am SORRY I confused many of you with baby's name. It's a boy, and his name is Alexander, or Sasha for short. I think I am displaying my Russian-ness here. In Russian, you can call a boy Alexander, and his pet name would be Sasha, so that's why I used it. From now on, the baby's name is Alex :)
Today's chapter is a bit sadder. Scandal last night made me sad. This is not a show anymore that I can get excited about. It is shallow and empty and meaningless. What happened to the writing? Only in the world of fan fiction these wonderful character, Olivia and Fitz, get the depth and coverage that they deserve...
Watching Scandal last night did;t deter me from writing somehow... Hope you like the chapter! :)
A loud cry rang through the stillness of the night like a scream of a siren, and Fitz bolted up awake in his bed. A bedside baby monitor informed him that Alex was awake and crying, very loudly and unhappily. His poor little guy caught a cold celebrating his first birthday, and the earache that he developed lingered for the last three days.
A quick glance to the other side of the bed assured him that Olivia was still quite dead to the world. Fitz was not even sure when she returned home. A new case at OPA was eating up all her daytime hours, and the Grant boys barely saw her in the house in the last month. He fell asleep alone every night, to find her next to him in the early morning. Short and early breakfast was the only family time she seemed to have for them.
Fitz was quite used to periodical separations. He did still travel from time to time, though he cut it significantly after Alexander was born. But most importantly, he remembered that time in his life when he would not see Olivia for days and weeks, not hear her voice and get a text from her. Now, she did come home at the end of the day, and she was truly his. As for the case, it would be over one day or another.
The little Grants took Olivia's absence much harder. Though Alex still could not fully comprehend the concept of time and his mom coming and going, he was more cranky and moody in the last couple of weeks, deprived of her kisses and hugs and care. Teddy was even more sour and difficult than his little brother. Nothing what Fitz cooked for dinner, or suggested to do or watch was good enough. Fitz was not picking him up from school early enough, or sending him to his activities on time, even the jokes were not funny anymore.
Shaking himself out of his brooding thoughts, Fitz switched off the monitor and strolled to Alex's room, quickly picking up the little fellow and trying to sooth him.
"Hello, little buddy, what's bothering you? Your ears hurt?"
"Yah"
Alex's speech was still not very developed, but he expressed himself beautifully for a 1-year old child. Fitz gave him some more drops as well as calming medicine to put him back to sleep and stayed vigilantly to watch Alex return to the dream world. He soft caramel skin and long eyelashes, his bright smile and melodic laugh, his love for cuddles and mischiefs made him the most dear child to Fitz in the whole world. He was sometimes afraid that he adored Alex more than he loved Teddy, because Alex was Olivia's child too, but no other Grant picked on that, and Fitz went out of his way to make sure Teddy got a lot of his love and attention.
Even though it was still very early in the morning, Fitz decided to start his day. He went to the house gym to exercise, and started the family breakfast. It was Friday, Teddy's favorite day of the week, and he would be dismissed early from school. After pancakes and fruit salad and coffee and tea were prepared for his family, he went up to wake up his family.
Fitz was not surprised to hear Olivia on the phone in the bathroom, multitasking. He shook his head and headed over to Teddy's room to find his son awake and getting ready.
"Good morning buddy, how did you sleep?"
"OK… Is mom here?"
"Yeah. She is on the phone, but I bet she will sit down for breakfast with us"
Teddy gave him a weak smile in return and bent down to push more school books into his rucksack.
"Ted, why don't you come with me and help me get Alex ready for the day?"
That earned him a proper smile and even a little laugh. Fitz marveled every day at the brothers' bond, both young fellows never seemed to get enough of each other and adored each other to pieces.
After Alex, who was still cranky and achy, was woken and dressed for the day, they all headed downstairs to find Olivia already there, a cup of green tea in her head, already glued to TV and the morning anchor was loudly covering the latest scandal.
Alex started whimpering at the loud noises coming from the TV, and Olivia absently stroked his back and kissed his forehead. Seeing that no real comfort was coming from his mother, Alex wailed louder and burrowed his head in Fitz' shirt, while Teddy frantically and excitedly tried to cover the events of his last days at school to his mother.
Fitz could feel his head bursting from the cacophony of sounds around him. He tried his best to comfort Alex while he surveyed the chaos around him. Having had enough, he grabbed the remote from the table and switched the TV off. Olivia whirled around to face him, his sudden interruption of her morning doze of news certainly unwelcome.
"That's enough!" – Fitz' voice boomed through the sudden silence. "There will be no more TV while we eat breakfast, when we sit together and try to spend time with each other and actually talk"
Olivia, Teddy and even little Alex were stunned by his outburst, the children especially not used to his anger. The breakfast that followed was a strained and unhappy affair, and Fitz regretted raising his voice and losing his temper almost immediately. He knew that they will probably not see Olivia for the rest of the day, and he felt guilty for spoiling their short morning together.
Teddy tried his best to soothe the atmosphere and talked incessantly, feeing the undercurrent of tension between his parents. Olivia made a half-hearted attempt at conversing with him, her eyes mostly glued to Fitz and his sad, drawn countenance.
When the breakfast was over, Teddy and Alex wandered off to the living room, to catch the end of the morning cartoons before Teddy's school bus arrived, leaving their disgruntled parents in the kitchen alone.
"So, no TV time applies only to me, the kids can still watch cartoons, when I can't see the news segment that is so important to me"
"Come on, Olivia, let's not fight over children watching 10 minutes of cartoons in the morning. And if we are on the topic of the important, why don't you rinse your head and concentrate on what is really important here"
"What did you say?"
"You heard me perfectly clear. That damned case of yours has stolen all of your time. You come only to sleep here, and the kids barely see you. You have 15 minutes with us every morning, and you decide to spend it watching TV instead of talking to the boys, who stayed up as long as they could yesterday, hoping to get to you when you got back home. That's what is important, not that damn news!"
"Are you really trying to guilt me into this and make me stop working? Because we are married now, and because we have children? I always said I will keep on working! And yes, there was a lot of overtime, but the case is crucial to win!"
"I get it, it is crucial. Why don't you go on and go to work then. And I will go back to MY children and we will carry on with our lives. But don't you dare insinuate that I am against you working. I never said anything about it, and always showed you nothing but support. On this particular case, you are doing too much, you are working too much, you are sacrificing your own family, your own children. They are suffering because you are not here. You might not care about what I think or feel, but you should at least worry about them"
"I worry about them! I worry about them all the time, and about you too!"
"You do? How come you have been an absentee parent then, Olivia? I just don't want you… I don't want you to turn into…"
"Stop right there!" – the venom in Olivia's voice effectively blocked Fitz from uttering anything else. "Don't you DARE compare me to Mellie, this is just vile!"
Fitz' stormy eyes looked her over closely with disdain and disbelief.
"I was not going to compare you to Mellie. I would never even dream of uttering your names in the same sentence in this context. What I wanted to say is don't turn into me! I was the absentee parent, I missed so much of my children's life, pursuing dreams that were not my own, and now, these years are all gone, my child is gone, and I am working very hard to make sure that my other kids know I am here, and I love them, and I don't miss anything important with them!"
"Mom? Dad?"
Teddy's little voice broke them out of their heated argument. They were not sure when exactly it escalated,, but they were now standing nose to nose, breathing fire into each other's faces.
Fitz was the first to break their stair down as he headed to Teddy, took him away and helped him into his outer clothes to usher him outside where the Secret Service agent was taking him to the school bus. Teddy barely had time to mumble buy to Olivia before his was led away.
Anger, tears, frustration, it all boiled inside of Olivia, and she wanted to scream, smash something punch something hard and good. But she had people waiting for her at work, people who replied on her, so she grabbed her bag and stormed out of the house.
That morning at OPA was a torture. Fitz' words kept on swirling in her head, and after her initial anger and rage subsided, she started realizing that he was probably right.
"Liv, we are heading out for lunch, do you want to join us?" – Abby's voice broke her out of her reverie.
When Abby saw her friend hiding the tears and taking deep breaths, she closed the door to the office behind her and stepped inside.
"Is everything all right?"
"Yeah, it's all good. I just… We just had a fight.. with Fitz… today in the morning. We don't fight that much anymore, so I am a little shaken"
Abby took a seat opposite from Olivia and gave her a small smile.
"What were you guys fighting about? Who looks hotter or is better at oral sex?"
"Abby!" – Olivia's shocked voice rang through the office, but it brought a smile to her face, exactly the effect Abby was aiming for.
"Alex has been sick since his birthday, and I have been barely home in the last two weeks. Fitz is not happy with that, and he is right, I am a horrible mother… Teddy tried to talk to me today, and all I could hear was the news segment playing behind him on TV. Alex started crying and didn't even try to get into my arms, he just hugged Fitz tighter, and he used to be such a momma's boy" – Olivia's voice dissolved into a breathy sigh as she struggled not to cry in front of her friend.
"Liv, you are not a horrible mother, you are an amazing mother. You did spend a lot of time in the office lately, so maybe you should just head home and take an early weekend? We are at an impasse with the court anyways, so why don't you take a break. I bet Fitz needs some attention and loving too?" – she finished with a smug smirk.
"Abby… You are your dirty mind…"
"Hey, I can't help myself!" – Abby called out as she headed out of the door. "Go home to your family, we will hold down the fort here"
Olivia let herself back into the house quietly. It greeted her with calmness and eerie stillness, something that was very uncommon for their house that had two little boys living there. Teddy was surely still at school. They were dismissed early today, but he wanted to stay to play football, she remembered. Her little one should be home though, but there was no sight of him or Fitz.
She heard the faint chuckle and followed the voice that led her to the outer yard and there she found Fitz with his afternoon cup of coffee and papers, talking on the phone.
"No Karen, that's definitely not a very good idea… OK, OK, I will let her know. Bye sweetheart, and good luck with your test"
When he disconnected the call, Olivia stepped on to the terrace and made her presence known.
"Hi"
"Hi… What are you doing here"
"Well, I live here" – she kicked herself immediately for sarcasm-laced words, he didn't need to be toyed with right now.
"I know you live here, but it's 1 in the afternoon. Is everything ok?"
"Yes, everything is fine, I just decided to take an early weekend"
Fitz was so guarded and almost aloof, Olivia didn't know how to handle it. She grew to rely on his warmth and his touch, his loving kisses when she arrived home after a long day at work, snuggling into his embrace if he was already asleep. This man in front of her was keeping her at the arm's length, and she wanted nothing more than to have his arms around her.
She dropped her purse on the floor and approached him in quick strides.
"Pride be damned, I need this" – was her last thought before she dropped on her knees in front of him, hid her face in his tummy, hugged him close and burst out crying.
She kept on mumbling "I am sorry" into his shirt, holding on for dear life. She felt his arms trying to pry her away from his body, but she held tighter, afraid that he will push her away. After a few minutes, his soothing voice and gentle words finally penetrated the fog of her tears and despair.
"Baby, it's ok, please don't cry, come here, it's ok"
She gently pried herself away from his body and was immediately lifted and enveloped in his arms, on his lap. She kissed his neck repeatedly, inhaling his scent and marveling at the security she felt being held in his arms.
"I am sorry" – she whispered again, her voice hoarse from so much crying and emotions still playing tricks with her nerve system "I am so sorry we fought, and I am even more sorry for neglecting you and the boys these past few weeks. I didn't realize I was doing it"
"Livvie, I am sorry too. I should have talked to you sooner, without snapping at you in front of the children. I think we are both stressed and not on our best behavior"
"No, Fitz. You don't get to take this blame from me. I am at fault here. You are an incredible husband and father, and our boys simply adore you. I don't know why I let this case consume me so much, but you are right, I need to be better at prioritizing, shutting down work and coming home to you"
"My love, I am here to help you, and I understand that you get consumed by work. But Teddy and Alex don't get that, and they feel neglected too. How about we have a rule. Every breakfast should be spent together as family, and dinner home with us at least twice a week on weekdays. On weekends, you are all ours"
"I am always all yours, but it's a deal"
They sealed their agreement with a tender caress of their lips, and Olivia signed happily into his mouth. She missed this, she missed him, and being alone and together with him.
"Where is Alex?"
"I just put him down for a nap. Did you have lunch? Do you want me to feed you?"
"Nope, I had a late breakfast, but nap sounds wonderful"
They ambled leisurely downstairs and in the warm coziness of their bedroom, Olivia took off her work attire, leaving only a pair of panties on, before climbing onto bed. She stuck her butt in the air, knowing what she was doing to Fitz, and looked at him coyly over her shoulder.
"Aren't you going to tuck me in?"
Fitz stood flabbergasted for three more seconds before tearing off his short off and almost jumping on her in their bed, to Olivia's fit of laughs and giggles. Together they got rid of the rest of Fitz' clothes and held each other closely, enjoying the feel of each other's naked bodies and smooth, soft skin gliding together.
"I love you" – Olivia whispered into his ear as he slowly entered her, filled her and stretched her.
"I love her" – Fitz voice was more hoarse as he picked up the rhythm, holding up her thigh up to get closer, deeper.
"I love you" - she whispered again, as he drove into her in abandonment and she shattered and broke and shook around and under him.
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