Two weeks is all it took, that was all the time Eric needed to prepare his revenge. Granted, it would have been nice if he had another week, just to make sure everything was perfect, but that was a luxury he couldn't afford.

He only mentioned the importance of today the night before, which Kyle wasn't necessarily happy about. Pissed wasn't right either, more confused than anything else. They'd been having dinner, a salad with a fancy name Eric couldn't bother remembering, and a juicy slab of steak. The kind that melts in your mouth and gives you a boner, well, it at least gave Eric a boner.

"I put our name down for that contest" he casually mentioned, like it wasn't out of character for him.

Kyle had been halfway through chewing his food at that moment, the suddenness having him swallowing the chunk incorrectly. He sputtered for a second, instinctively trying to cough it back up as it painfully scraped down his throat. Eric rose from his seat, but Kyle waved him to sit back down. After the looming threat of choking to death was gone, he hastily took a big gulp of the water in his cup.

Heart still pounding in his ears, he squinted at his husband through his tears, "Wh-what contest?"

"Babe," Eric smiled softly in an attempt of reassurance, "don't worry."

"Yeah, like that'll make me feel any better." He set his cup down, "You still haven't answered my question.."

He had him there. Eric leaned forward on his elbows, knitting his fingers together, a mocking image of prayer. "That garden show, they give out blue ribbons for how well kept and beautiful your yard is."

"Eric," Kyle said exasperated, "I know what a garden show is. What I'm curious about is, why?" His frustration increased with his husband's dismissive shrug, and despite all of that, he wanted to be supportive, he really did. "When is it?"

"Tomorrow." Eric stabbed a piece of lettuce, popping it into his mouth.

" Eric…"

" Kahl ...look it'll be fine."

"What happened to keeping a low profile? Not everyone likes us here… they don't like me, do you seriously want all that attention?"

"Kahl what do you think is going to happen? People are going to grab their pitchforks when they see our name entered into the contest?" He snorted, "Ooh maybe they'll put crabgrass on our lawn!"

"That's not funny."

"Then stop overreacting!" His face softened at the worried expression across from him, "Look, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. If they start shit I'll just taser their asses. And if I get arrested for police brutality, you can use that lawyer lingo of yours to get me out. Easy."

Kyle couldn't help but chuckle, "I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. Even if I did represent you, I'm not sure you could cover my firm's cost."

"Maybe" Eric breathed, voice lowering into a rumble, "I can pay you back in other ways…?"

"God," Kyle broke out into a loud laugh, "that was awful! You sound like you're starring in some raunchy porno!"

"Hm," Eric leaned back while he fingered his upper lip, "maybe I should grow a mustache. You know, to complete the effect."

"Not if you want to sign some divorce papers."

"Ouch. That's what I get for marrying a Jew and a lawyer, the worst combination! It'd be weird if you weren't heartless and obsessed with money."

"Says Mr. Let-me-just-grab-some-food-from-a-crime scene."

Eric bristled, that was still a bit of a sore topic for him. "It wasn't like she was going to eat it, not with that gray matter sprayed everywhere."

"You couldn't wait until you got home? What about the lunch I packed you?"

"You know that wasn't my fault! The soup exploded everywhere in my cooler." Frowning at the memory, he mumbled "I had to wash it out with the hose out back and everything."

"And you say I'm the heartless one?"

They kept going back and forth like that for the rest of the evening, not really bickering - more like verbal foreplay. It followed them into the kitchen, where they taunted each other while washing their dishes. The climax of their argument having Kyle bent over the kitchen counter, jeans pooled around his ankles, and the dishes completely forgotten. Where they'd stay in the sink until the morning after, bubbles long gone and water cold.


The day after was a cool Saturday, sun barely peaking out from a cover of clouds. The weatherman had advertised rain, but so far nothing. And that was good enough for Eric. The garden show took place regardless, an apparent big deal in this neighbourhood. Everyone raced around to tidy, looking for any stubborn weeds that might have popped up during the night.

Eric observed all this from his porch with indifference, sipping his morning coffee without a care. It was beneath him to act like this, running around like his head was chopped off. At that thought he directed his gaze to the house across from his, letting his glare settle on the back of Adam Jones. The doctor was watering the rose bushes, trying his best while his wife screamed about the hose setting.

"Mist, Adam! Mist not shower!"

Christ, Eric was thankful he was gay, he wasn't sure how Adam made it this long without caving her skull in or blowing his own. The man deserved a fucking medal. Eric felt bad for him, he really did. Adam was stuck in a loop, a boring insignificant man. He had a plain appearance, one that blended so well into the background that this author wouldn't bother to describe him. Just grey mushed with brown, a smudge on the landscape. What little character he had was absorbed into his banshee of a wife, now void of any personality whatsoever.

Eric was pulled away from his thoughts when the door to his house opened up, gently shutting behind his husband. Already Kyle was beside him, smelling wonderful from his recent shower. He dipped down with a kiss onto Eric's awaiting lips, fingers brushing lightly against the nape of his neck.

"I'll be right back," he said against the brunette's mouth.

"Where are you going?" Eric asked between another kiss, hands pulling on his husband's shirt. Finally at ease when his fingertips met the smooth skin of Kyle's hips.

"Groceries." Kyle responded, moving to put a little distance between them. It was hard not to be swept up, to allow himself to fall into Eric's boundless passion. And just like he hoped wouldn't happen, Eric saw through the hesitance.

"You don't want to be around when it starts, huh? I get it."

"I-"

Eric grabbed his hand, shushing him a tender look, "It's okay. I get it, you don't need to explain yourself, really."

His chest ached, feeling a bit foolish, but he gladly took the peace offering. "Thanks."

"Just do me a favour, babe? Make it back in time for the fireworks."

"...Okay..."

It made this whole event seem far more lavish and unnecessary with the fireworks, something that everyone went to the park to watch after the winner was announced, but for Eric it was the icing on the cake. Today was all the more sweeter because of it. Even though the contest didn't take place until 5:00 PM, he still felt as if things weren't ready. If only he had another day... But fuck, we can't have all the things we want in life.

As the car pulled out of their driveway, Eric watched after it, silently wishing Kyle would have a good day. No one deserved it more than Kyle, especially since he had to deal with Eric's bullshit on a regular basis. Sighing he stood up, taking his empty mug with him inside.

Donut themed slippers padding softly on the hardwood, he lumbered into the kitchen. Momentarily placing his mug on the counter so he could fill it up with some of coffee leftover in the pot, which blessedly was still warm. He was still scooping some sugar into his mug when a knock rapped on the front door; "Come in!" He yelled over his shoulder.

"So, how are we feeling?"

Eric shrugged, "Better now that I'll have some caffeine in my system."

"Good, you're not nervous at all?"

"No, why...? Should I be?" He took a tentative sip from his mug, giving a grimace before he set it back down; the cream set aside was then picked up.

"Maybe, it is a big deal around here." Marcy paused before she corrected herself, "It's a big deal for her."

"Blowjobs are a big deal for me, but no one cares about that. So why should I care what she thinks?"

"I guess you have a point there, but aren't you worried about the fallout after all of this?"

"Were you worried about the fallout of marrying another woman?"

They both stood there, wondering where this conversation would go. Eric's hands started to sweat as Marcy stared at him, he hoped he didn't cross a line. He really did like her, she wasn't a complete bitch to be around. If his stupid mouth ruined this unlikely friendship, fuck, he wasn't sure how to handle that. The words 'I'm sorry' were starting to form in his mouth when she said, "I was terrified."

She glanced down, admiring the gold band around her finger, shine faded with age. When she looked back up, Eric swore he was looking at his own reflection, "But that didn't fucking stop me." Marcy smiled at him, understanding soaking into the atmosphere, "Just please try to think about your future, not the immediate gratification. I like Kyle far too much for you two to move away."

He cleared his throat, "What about me?"

"You're okay, not as funny." His face broke into a smile with that. "Okay, enough chatting, we still have a contest to win!"

It really was like looking into a mirror.

5:03 PM

The time for the contest came too quickly, and even though Eric acted like everything was fine, he was a wreck. He was filled with a nervous energy, it'd been too long since his last scheme. In Marcy's home, he paced the living room, trying not to peer out from the window. He already knew what was happening, four judges wandered down the sidewalk, all dressed in their Sunday best as they inspected each house entered in the competition. They all had little notebooks where they jotted notes of observation, voices hushed as they whispered among themselves. They looked like a four headed beast, keeping close together as they travelled. Eric knew their names well, he had them seared into his mind - anything less would be sloppy.

Josh Sevy. Tall with a hooked nose, he owned several botanical stores. His wife Tabatha, or Tabby as she was often called, was distinguished in the charity scene. She was friends with Nancy. Which would have been a problem, if Josh didn't secretly smoke pot with his twenty years younger girlfriend. 'Trixie', as she called herself, visited Eric's station frequently.

Elliot Konda Sr. Stout and overweight, he had a heart problem, which explained how easily his face changed from a delightful shade pink to purple. When he wasn't popping his medication like they were tic-tacs, he was Chief of the local police department - aka Eric's boss. He wasn't hard to handle, but his urolagnia apparently was. He had a running name at the station, Chuck Berry, which he hadn't caught on to.

Annie Watkins. Professional and elegant, she ran the bank downtown, and had been trying to worm her way into Tabatha Sevy's pants for years.

And finally Noellyn Cassano. She was the wildcard, listed unironically on her social media for her favourite movie was Troll 2. Naturally she was everything that is wrong with this world. These were the judges, God help them all.

Unable to contain himself any longer, he crossed the room, ripping the curtains away from the window to watch as the group stopped in front of the Jones house. They stayed there longer than he liked, admiring the colour and silken texture of the flowers, still glistening from the gentle mist of water. They were fascinated in particular with a bush of rosa peace near the bird fountain. Even he had to agree that it was impressive, with the soft yellow and teasing shade of pink on the outermost petals. And it just had to be set next to the damn fountain, God he fucking hated it!

"Sweetie, why don't you have a slice of banana bread? It can't be good watching that." Shit, she was right. With one last glance, he was somewhat comforted by the judges finally leaving the Jones' yard to inspect the next house.

When he entered the joined room, it was with a jittery smile. "Who knew a garden show could be so exciting."

"Every lonely suburban housewife in the country?"

He sat on the stool by the island, grinning as Marcy cut him a slab of fresh bread. "I'm not too sure about every state, I think they just kill their husbands in some."

"Hm, am I sensing a theme here or do you just have a thing for crazy women?"

"Ugh," he shuddered, "hell no. I got enough of that in my childhood."

"I guess it's just me then." Marcy smiled at the disgust radiating from her guest; wordlessly she slid the plate over, it wasn't fun until they were squirming. Amused when Eric took the food to distract himself, she reached for a pack of cigarettes nearby. "Do you mind?" Her smile deepened at the head shake, and ever the hostess, she made sure to offer a stick.

"I don't smoke. Not anymore."

"Why? Health reasons?"

Eric scooped another forkful into his mouth, not bothering to swallow his food before he talked. "Nah, we're all going to die anyways so what's the point? I used to smoke a lot in college, before dating Kahl. Stress or something..." He stared at his plate, thinking about the past. Marcy flicked her lighter, scent of smoke soon following.

A heavy inhale, then an exhale. "And?"

"Then we ran into each other at a party, and it was so weird.. seeing him again. I think he was dating some guy, but it wasn't working out. I don't really remember, just this intense attraction, like we were being pulled together by some invisible force."

"Cute. Did you guys flirt?"

Eric snorted, "More like I got the dirtiest death glare across the room."

"That seems about right, what changed your minds? It's hard to imagine you guys being separated from each other."

"Yeah.." Eric turned the ring around his finger, "It's bizarre how things turn out. I think he was trying to freak me out, sending these 'I still hate you' vibe, but it was hot more than anything. I ended up approaching him, we made out in my crappy car. And that was it."

Marcy rose a brow questioningly. "That was it? Kyle doesn't seem like the easy type."

"...Okay, I had to convince him to see me again. He wrote the first time off as a fluke, but eventually I got him to cross over to the dark side. The only condition being that I had to give up my smokes. Kahl hates the smell, gives him seriously bad migraines. So it was either that or missing out on great sex and... and him. By that time I was already hooked, not much of a choice."

"Aw..."

"Oh shut up." He ignored the heat coming from the tip of his ears.

"So what became of him?"

Confused he looked up, "Of who?"

"Kyle's ex-boyfriend."

"Him?" Eric scoffed, although it's been such a long time, the prospect of anyone else being with Kyle made his blood boil. "Who cares, he was a nobody."

"Ooh, I sense a story!"

"It was nothing, okay?"

Marcy leaned forward, gesturing at his frown with her cigarette, "Then why are you still jealous?" Shit, she had him. Again.

"I don't know.. You should have seen him, he was classically handsome, like some actor."

"Actors aren't necessarily handsome, look at Adam Sandler."

"He didn't look like fucking Adam Sandler, he was a Guy Madison - all American boy, the kind you let your parents meet. He and Kahl went to university together, he studied to become a Neurologist."

"Seems like you remember more then you'd like to admit."

"It's hard not to compare myself to that. He was perfect, never late, he didn't have holes in his socks. And when they were together? It was impossible to turn away."

"Eric, Kyle choose you for a reason."

"Hm." He stopped fiddling with his ring. "I try to remember that, but if he could leave a dude like that? What chance do I have?" They sat in silence, then Eric gave a chuckle. "It's funny, when they first had sex it was probably romantic. Candles, music, rose petals, the works. For us... Ha ha, it was in some restroom stall. We couldn't help it, you know? I went to this dirty basement concert, trying to disconnect. And he was there..."

"I'm no shrink, but it seems like you have a lot of insecurity around this. Have you tried talking to him about this?"

"Yeah," he ran a hand through his hair, "he knows. That's one of the reasons we left."

Marcy froze, mouth still around her cigarette. "Because of Guy Madison?"

"Kept running into him in the city, like some fucking cockroach. I hoped maybe he'd look like shit, after everything." Eric shook his head in disbelief, "The opposite. Still single, but doing shit with his life. I couldn't handle it, that smug bastard. One day Kahl said he wanted to move somewhere far from the city, to settle down - but it's obvious he did it for me. Didn't want me to bug out the next time I saw that idiot, and kill 'em."

"Eric.."

"I know, I know. But I keep waiting for the day I wake up, and he isn't there. I'm not exactly easy to love, much less spend the rest of your life with."

A hand was placed on his shoulder, he didn't even realize he was trembling until it felt it. He felt like a bitch, but he avoided eye contact.

"When I lost Annette, it was like I lost a piece of me. Don't regret things in the past, Eric, live for now. You never know what's around the corner, so hold on to what you have." Finally his gaze met her's.


5:45 PM

Pulled over into some random parking lot, Kyle sat in his car, staring at his phone. It felt as if he'd been there longer, not doing anything. His screen went to black, for the fifth time. He sighed, finally putting the effort into unlocking his cell, and without thinking went into his photos. Unknowingly a smile crept onto his face as he flipped through them, silly little things. When he saw something funny or stupid on his way to work, he often kept the images to show Eric when he got home. There was memories too, one's he couldn't bear to delete for more storage. He meant to print them off and put them in some photo albums, but he never seemed to have the time nowadays.

Photos of them at concerts, vacations, or the rare occasion of a date. In every photo they were laughing together, or staring at each other, unable to look away. He lingered on one in particular, his favourite. A couple of summers ago they went to a beer festival, it had been crazy day. Kenny had went with them, bringing along his current fling. He took it when they weren't looking, finding it funny enough to send to Kyle afterwards.

Kenny said a joke, Kyle didn't remember what it was about, but it had been hilarious at the moment. Arm slung over him, Eric had been downing a beer when the punchline was said. Caught off guard, he spat out in surprise, laughter causing him to cough. The bewildered expression of his husband - with beer soaking the front of his shirt, had Kyle ending up in a laughing attack. It was priceless, them giggling and covered in beer.

He exited out of the app, resting his head on the seat with a groan. Everything was supposed to be simple when they moved here, but it'd been the opposite. And Eric, Kyle wondered how he was dealing with everything.

"Shit." Hands roughly dragging across his face, he mentally berated himself. While he sat in some parking lot moping, Eric was left to handle everything. "For better or worse" he whispered, switching the gear back to drive.

The journey back was done without any thought, only the instinct of taking a route he was accustomed to. Unable to appreciate the silence, he turned the radio on. Even the static was a welcomed sound, a correlation to his inner turmoil. He wasn't at odds with the contest, in fact he was glad that Eric found a hobby that didn't involve breaking the law. What had him struggling was the unknown, the thought of being put at risk. Trust, he had to trust him.

Fingers tightening around the steering wheel, he made the turn from the main road onto their quiet street. Fighting his nerves, he parked next to Eric's vehicle. He eyed the house in his rear-view mirror before turning off the ignition, "Trust" he repeated. Everything was going to be fine, they were going to be fine.

It wasn't hard finding his husband, Eric hadn't put much effort into exploring their neighbourhood. Something Kyle was now thankful for. He waited after giving Marcy's front door a knock, listening for a response between all of the laughter inside. Amidst an airy laugh was a hearty sound, deep within someone's belly. Yep, Eric was definitely inside - he'd recognize that loudness anywhere.

"Come in!"

Not needing anymore confirmation, he did exactly that. Making sure to take his shoes off, he followed the noise into the kitchen. The smell of smoke immediately had his nose scrunching up, but he attempted to ignore it. Leaning towards each other over an island, the pair both sipped from wine glasses. They turned around at his entrance, wearing conspiratorial smiles.

"What's going on here?"

"Nothing much, sweetie. We thought you weren't coming back until later?"

"I was," he glanced over to his husband, "but I came to support our garden."

"Only the garden?" Eric drawled with a smirk, tone lilted with a slur. How much did he drink?

Kyle rolled his eyes, "Obviously I came for you too." The two wine bottles on the counter, one empty the other nearly, were hard not to see. Sensing the shift, Marcy climbed off of her stool with all the grace of a tipsy eighty year old, which was a lot better than his very much larger and younger husband.

"Excuse me, I'm going to lay down for a bit. Behave you two."

"No promises!" Eric called after her, grinning when she turned around in the doorway to tap the side of her nose.

As soon as she left Kyle walked up to the occupied stool, stopping only when he was pressed against his husband's side. Two arms encircled him, and greedily he drew from the warmth there. Offering a sigh to the gentle silence, he buried his head into the broad set of shoulders, breathing in the scent of wine and time spent in a garden. "I'm sorry, I said I'd try."

Eric scoffed, "No one is saying you aren't."

"I know, I didn't say that to pick at you." A pair of hands smoothed down his back, occasionally giving a pat. Soothing. "I want to be person you turn to, no, I need that."

"And you are."

He moved his head so he could lightly place a kiss on Eric's collarbone, "I want more of that, of us."

"Jesus, Kyle." Looking up, his heart spread through his body, travelling to the point of his feet. That goofy expression of adoration made his head dizzy, like he'd been on a roller coaster for a third time. "I love you." A smile spread over Kyle's face, and helpless he kissed that look - everywhere.

"Wanna see those fireworks?"

"What about the results?"

Eric laughed, threading their hands together, "I already know who won."


6:32 PM

Night came quicker then everyone thought, the clouds that blanketed the sky were perfect for the firework show. Families laughed and talked within the park, either laying on the grass or sitting in lawn chairs. Kyle had found an old worn quilt from home, one he didn't mind dirtied. Although it wasn't that big, neither seemed to care, using the excuse to rest as closely as possible. They weren't that far from the other families, but it felt like they were in their own personal bubble of privacy. It was nice.

Eric lifted the ribbon again, marveling over it in the limited sunlight. Not so much because it meant a great deal to him, but because it pissed other people off - mainly Nancy. Even in their seclusion, her hateful gaze was a thorn. Kyle sighed, "Maybe we should move to somewhere else?"

"And give that bitch what she wants? No thank you. Plus, I'd miss her reaction."

"...Her what?" Kyle's head shot up, "Eric, what did you do?"

"Besides blackmailing the judges into giving me first place?" It was depressing how easy it was, nearly took away all the fun. He shushed Kyle, tracing his thumb across a cheekbone, "Don't worry, nothing too bad."

Kyle stared at him for a moment before laying back down, "Well...there's nothing I can do now." Eric smiled. The park collectively turned their heads to the sky, a handful jumping when the first fireworks went off. The night cracked with noise, colours exploding while the smell of smoke settled. The explanation everyone later gave was that they thought the smoke was from the show. When the wind got stronger, the scent worsened.

No one had seemed to jump to the conclusion of anything serious was happening until a figure darted across the grass to the Jones family. Betty, terribly out of breath, stumbled to Nancy with a sweating horror that people would talk about for days. Kyle couldn't catch what they were saying, anything was hard to hear over the fireworks. What was heard was the scream, a piercing sound that nails on a chalkboard would be impressed over if ever sentient.

After that, sirens shrieked. Crowds watching were bewildered as red lights flashed over the landscape. Firetrucks drove past, speeding down the road. Naturally curious, people peeled themselves away from the show, eager to see what was going on. Kyle started to join them, wanting to understand, but a firm hand brought him back down to the blanket. A look from his husband had Kyle quiet.

"Nothing too bad?"

Eric shrugged, not caring if the answer was the same anymore.

Later Kyle would find out that the Jones' house burned down, everything, especially the garden were gone. When a formal investigation was launched, the department found the suspected cause of the fire, a cigarette left unattended and lit inside. Nancy who would suffer from a mental breakdown, would publicly accuse the gay couple across from her. This would lead nowhere, as it was known that the pair didn't smoke; and Eric had been careful, even in the friends he had that were investigators.

What really made things perfect was when Nancy went ballistic, ranting in the street about her neighbours, and spitting offensive slurs that rose eyebrows and would have the police called. Although most of the street may feel indifference, they held their beliefs at home. To say it aloud, where it could be judged, was considered ignorant. Even Nancy's so called friends were outraged, it wasn't as if they would say anything about the Broflovski-Cartmans, the thought was appalling! Quickly the PTA moms circled, smelling blood and gossip in the water.

Eric went as far as to threat to sue, 'damaged emotionally' by the abusive torment and slander. The only reason he didn't was because Kyle thought that was going too far, which was a shame. In the end, the Jones found themselves not wanted in their town - not even after all those years at the bake sale. And Nancy learned the term 'fair weathered friends'.

It was raining, air pungent with the fragrance of the gardenia in the flowerbed. Leaning close to the house, shielded by the roof, Eric and Kyle stood on their porch. The building of the new house had stopped for the day, shielded from the weather with great big tarps. Sipping their coffee, they stared across.

Kyle snuggled closer to the arm around his shoulder, gazing at the profile of his husband with affection. "Eric?"

"Hm?" He gave him a glance, swallowing another gulp.

"In case you ever doubt it... I love you."