I don't want to open my eyes, I know I'll only be greeted with the sight of Coulson with a bullet in his head and the monster I've fallen in love with. I was so stupid to trust him! Why did I think I could change something that's been ingrained in his mind for fifteen goddamned years?! He just used me the same way he used everybody, to further Garrett's freaking plans.
Despite myself I forced my eyes open and instead of the image I predicted, I was shocked with Ward pointing his gun to my right. I turn my head and see Thom's body slumped on the floor, a single thick line of blood pouring form the hole in his forehead.
I look back at Ward and saw him drop the gun. I looked down at Coulson and he was staring with his mouth agape at the dead body. Coulson stood up and walked over to Thom's body and kicked the gun away from him.
Ward looked like he was struggling to compose himself as he walked over to me. He started cutting the ropes with his knife and my hands jerked to cross over my chest and my legs jerked towards my front. I rubbed my wrists trying to get some circulation back to them.
I stand up and look at Ward. I don't fight the urge and just curl into him, burying my head into his chest and just soak in his scent. Regardless of my anger and my common sense I needed to know he was there. Ward wrapped his arms around me and my body just melted into his embrace. The tears streamed down as I tried to bury my face even further into his chest, trying to hide away from everything.
"Ward, we need to talk." Coulson says as he stands up from Thom's body. I feel Ward tense like I do, we both know what's going to happen. I wrap my arms around his mid-back as tightly as I can, trying to anchor him to me. I needed him right now, I needed the safety he made he feel.
"We'll talk outside, Sir." I hear Ward reply as I again press my body closer to his. The tears have stopped but I'm still shaking. I feel like one of those stupid teenage girls who cling to their boyfriends during horror movies, but honestly I don't think I could move from him if I wanted to. Ward forces me away from him and I miss the warmth of his body pressed against mine.
"Are you okay?" Ward asks me as he takes a hold of my shoulders and leans down to my eye level. I nod as best I can, my voice not wanting to be of any use. I reach for his hand and lace our fingers together.
Coulson leads us out of the corridors and we pick up May and Trip on the way out. When we reach the exit, I see we were in a small office building. May and Trip keep giving Ward sideways glances and I squeeze his hand harder in response. Coulson walks us back to a panel van. Me Ward and Trip shuffle into the back while May and Coulson get in the driver and passenger seats.
"Ward, hands." Trip says holding up some zip ties. Ward is reluctant to release my hand but Trip just stares him down until he relents and Ward gives my hand one last squeeze before he puts his wrists together for Trip.
"You know it's pretty much useless to restrain him, if he wanted to kill all of us he could've done it by now." I say defiantly as I watch Trip tighten the zip ties around Ward's wrists; I can see the ties cutting into his wrists, almost to the point of cutting off circulation.
Trip just shot me a look that basically said, I'd rather die knowing I did something to stop your psycho boyfriend. I wanted to slap that look off of his face.
"Ward, we're going to need to discuss what to do with you when we meet up with Fitz and Simmons." I hear Coulson say from the front of the van.
"I know, Sir." Ward replies automatically. The rest of the drive is done in silence, all Trip or May do is glance at Ward with a hard expression. Coulson is quiet and looks to the road ahead.
I find myself leaning against Ward's frame as the exhaustion of the last few days hits me again. Sleep is luring me into her folds and I slump my head against Ward's shoulder. I can feel him lay us both down on the floor of the van with his arms wrapped protectively around me and his back laying against the wall. I respond by burying my head into his chest and using his bicep as a pillow for what must've been the most peaceful sleep I've had in years.
Even asleep I could feel the collective glances that Coulson, May, and Trip were giving to Ward as I lay against him, blissfully unaware of the killing psychopath they believe him to be. I believed he was still a murdering monster, but in the end, the heart wants what the heart wants. My heart wants Grant and for the first time in my life, I'm able to sleep soundly and peacefully without any nightmares or rude awakenings threatening to rouse me from my subconscious.
I spoke too soon because as soon as I felt the van stop, Ward was shaking awake and removing myself from his embrace, my body missing being so close to his and sharing his warmth. I step out of the van right behind Trip and I see the jet that Ward flew to Providence. Fitz and Simmons walk down the ramp as May and Coulson file out of the front.
"Skye, we were worried sick about you!" Simmons exclaimed as she hugged like a mother holding their child after they'd walked off without the mother's knowledge. She released me and looked at Ward, who still had his hands tied.
"You're going to be going away a long, long time, I hope you know that." Simmons threatened haphazardly. I thought it was pretty useless for her to even try to threaten anyone with that accent and tone she automatically carried in every conversation.
I don't know why I suddenly feel a pool of anger and sadness when she says Ward's going away. I don't want him too. Coulson may be like a father to me, but there are times when I need someone like Grant, who can give the security and warmth I've only known with him, even after all he's done. I guess this is what love is, right? Craving to be with someone regardless of the warnings your brain gives you.
I don't like that my head and my heart keep arguing with each other. One of them should just win already. I should either hate Ward or love him, not keep walking that thin line between the two.
"Trip get us in the air. May, keep an eye on Ward. Skye, I'd like a minute to talk to you when we land." Coulson ordered and everyone followed. Ward was walked into the jet with May pressing a hand to his lower back. Fitz and Simmons walked behind them into the seats, and Coulson followed suite. I trailed behind them all.
Trip wasn't as good a pilot as Ward, light-years away from being like May, his liftoff was rocky, causing all of us to wobble in our seats a little bit. May still kept a close on eye on Ward and I could see that she was struggling to keep her rage bottled up. I guess even she has feelings. I don't know if she's mad because he betrayed the team, or because he slept with her to solidify his cover. The latter actually made me slightly angry with May, I didn't like the idea of anyone being in his arms except me.
Fitz and Simmons were fidgety, most likely from the fear of having a HYDRA agent on board. Coulson was the only who seemed to have a calm expression. He just stared at Ward with emotionless eyes, like he was waiting for Ward to attack everybody and give Coulson a reason to put him down. That particular thought caused an uneasiness in my stomach. Ward just stared off into space, probably retreating behind his barriers again to avoid facing everyone at the moment. I was still tired and was missing being wrapped in his arms, able to blissfully ignore the world and just sleep knowing I was safe in his embrace.
"Where are we heading?" Ward spoke up, I was a little shocked to be honest when I heard his voice resonate through the jet. Everyone turned and look at him with mixed emotions of anger, disgust, betrayal, I looked at him with curiosity. I didn't know where we were going to go. Providence was compromised and the Bus has probably landed in San Jose by now.
"Don't worry about it. You're not gonna see it anyway." Coulson pulling a gun out of his suit jacket. My heart started racing and my throat went dry. Was he really going to kill Ward? Coulson's only killed two people in the whole time I've known him and they both left him no other choice. Ward wasn't armed, he wasn't going to fight. Hell, he wasn't even picking at the zip ties tied around his wrists.
I couldn't register a look of shock on Ward's face, mainly because he just looked as stoic as ever. I don't think he was even afraid of dying. He just looked willing to accept his fate. I wasn't and my face showed it.
Coulson pulled the trigger and the breath was knocked out of me. Ward's head fell against the wall to his left. It was an ICER. I took a few deep breaths, more so to quell the rage that was burning in the pit of my stomach rather than quell the shock from witnessing Coulson shoot Ward in the chest.
"Skye, now that we have a minute without him listening. I want you answer me something: Can we trust him?" Coulson asked coldly, never taking his eyes of Ward's slumbering form.
"I don't know." I answered truthfully. I know I can trust him with my life, but I don't know if that extends to the rest of the team. Ward has this singular protection instinct to him. Garrett I think was the only other person he would ever protect besides me. I don't know if I'm the only one that's broken through his mental conditioning or if we all did. I don't even think I really broke through his conditioning, I just think I gave someone new to protect.
"Sir, what are we going to do with him?" Trip asked lowly.
"Skye's in charge of keeping an eye on him. She seems to be the only one he won't assault. But May, you're in charge of keeping an eye on Skye. I don't want her alone with him." Coulson explained.
"I don't need a babysitter." I said angrily. Ward wasn't going to hurt me. Did Coulson really not trust me to be alone with him? Does he think I'll defect just because Ward lowers his voice and whispers some things in my ear? That last thought made my heart thump. I still haven't forgotten the lab, and I curse myself for wanting a repeat. He's a traitor sure, but he knew how to have sex.
"Skye, I know you trust him, and I know he won't hurt you. But I need to know that you're not compromised by your feelings towards him. I understand that he is, but that doesn't change the fact that he almost killed May and Trip and pointed a gun at my head." Coulson replied bitterly.
"He only did that because that son of a bitch Thom had one pointed at me. He wouldn't have done it otherwise." I tried to excuse Ward's actions. I guess I am as bad as he is.
"Irrelevant, May will be keeping an eye on you. We're going to interrogate him in the morning and find out what he knows about HYDRA's plans. Am I clear?" Coulson said finally.
"Yes, Sir." I mocked as I half-assed a salute. My gaze wandered back to Ward. What was he dreaming? Can you even dream when you're sedated by an ICER round?
"Where are we going?" I ask lowly, hoping someone other than Coulson would answer me. I really didn't want to hear his voice anymore. It was screaming in my head plenty when Ward and I were on the Bus.
"To a hotel outside of LA." May spoke up. I'm surprised I liked her voice over Coulson's considering she was sleeping with Ward before he flipped sides.
I must've had a quizzical look on my face. "We're going there because every other possible location has been compromised either by HYDRA or the US Military. We'll be holed up in there until we find a way to resolve this mess." May explained monotonously. I guess that's a reason Grant sought comfort from her after the Berserker Staff, the woman knew how to keep her emotions on lockdown. I didn't, I never would have been okay with a friends with benefits relationship with him.
I didn't even notice when I started falling for him. There were lingering looks, maybe a touch. Training started becoming more bearable before I was shot, I wasn't entirely repulsed by the idea of waking up at the crack of dawn knowing I was spending it with a different Grant Ward than everyone else. After I was shot, I've never seen so much anger in his eyes at the mention of Mike Peterson. I was halfway convinced if he was alone and not undercover, he would have put two in Quinn's stomach like Quinn did to mine. My abdomen starts getting sore at the thought of it.
The rest of the flight was handled in silence. Ward looked content. He was always peaceful when he slept. I wanted to sleep but I thought better of it knowing it wouldn't be anything more than a restless, dreamless state. The closest thing I got to an actual decent sleep was when Ward took me in his arms on the plane and in the van. He put my mind at ease. I felt safe and warm, something that no one ever made me feel before.
It must've been an hour or so when I felt the telltale dip in my stomach that told me we were descending to a landing strip. Ward was still unconscious. I forgot that even before he was shot with the ICER, he was running on less fumes than I was. I'd be amazed if he woke up before we got to the hotel.
I was proven right when I saw his eyes shoot open. I guess he was never one for a slow start. He lifted his head from the wall and blinked a few times. His eyes darted around the jet. He held his gaze on me for a few seconds longer and I found myself unconsciously smiling at him. His gaze always gave me butterflies and now was no exception. He didn't look mad, betrayed, or even happy to see me, but then again, he was also a master at hiding his emotions from anyone and everyone, including me at times.
Despite Trip having a rough takeoff, he gave us all a surprising smooth landing. Simmons and myself filed out of the back first and left a wide berth for May and Coulson who escorted Ward out. I still couldn't explain the anger burning inside me whenever I saw how rough they were being with him. He didn't fight them, and we all knew that if he wanted too he could've taken us all out and ran for the hills before we even knew what was happening.
Trip and Fitz were the last ones out and jogged over to another non-descript van by a loading cart. I found myself stepping closer to Ward and offering him what little comfort I could. I felt bad that he was handcuffed for choosing us over Garrett. I wonder what would've happened if he didn't choose us, would Coulson have still shot him with only an ICER round, or would there have been a real bullet in that magazine reserved for Ward?
Ward flashed me one of his rare smiles and the uneasiness in my stomach faded away almost instantly. I knew he was here only because he wanted to be. Zip ties or not, he could've left anytime he wanted to. I nudge against his shoulder and took his left hand in my right. He didn't fight me and we made our way over to the van in peace. I was waiting for Coulson or May to freak out and put another ICER round in him, but they didn't. Maybe this is why Coulson wants me guarding him, I can keep him docile, happy even; he won't attack anyone when he's with me.
Ward helps me into the back of the van and proceeds to sit close to me. I don't know why I feel better knowing he's close, but I do. I don't why I have the urge to curl up to him and close my eyes, but I do. I shouldn't care this much, even after he's done for me, I know he's a murderer and most likely insane, but my heart still pines for him, still longs for him.
The adrenaline I've been running off of for the last three days has finally hit its absolute last leg and I find myself curling into Ward's side again. He puts his arms me and scoots down lower against the wall and I curl into his chest. My eyes weighs a ton and I can't keep them open any longer. I can feel the disapproving looks from everyone in the van but I can't bring myself to care. I'm just too tired. Ward kisses the top of my head and I bury it even deeper into his chest. My mind is finally at ease and I feel safer than I have in years. I love him, so sue me, but let me sleep first.
