Chapter 7: AnyMouse
Rachel huddled under the sheet, tears sliding down her cheeks and dripping onto the keys. Her blood was pounding in her skull, but she could barely focus on what she was typing.
"I've always wanted a place where I can feel safe. There's nowhere. I can't escape this house, or my body, I can't feel truly safe." Rachel sighed, stopping her typing for a moment. "I was hoping I could feel safe with you, even though I'm afraid."
Rachel pressed send.
She pressed her hand to her mouth as she waited. The comfort of the release of her words was fading away into dread. There was nothing for a while, and shaking, Rachel surfed the web for some music to listen to.
She wanted to find a new song.
~R~S~R~S~R~S~R~S~R~
Shelby sat up straighter when she read the email and frowned. Something was twisting and growing in her gut, like debris gathering together in outer space to form a new planet.
It was quite clear to her that she was dealing with a disturbed individual, and she began to feel as though perhaps it had been a mistake to write back to her. On the other hand, she felt that she couldn't just abandon her now. AnyMouse probably wasn't her daughter, that had been a delusional notion brought on by her heightened emotions. Brittany was many things, but Shelby was quite certain that she was not this fragile. Shelby knew that she would have to report this to the district so that they could track the email and get this student into counseling. It was most likely a student. However, she didn't want to leave someone so delicate without a response. If something happened to her and Shelby hadn't written back...she would never forgive herself.
"Hold on, honey. Don't give up. I want you to feel safe. I want you to be safe. Please tell me what is going on. Sincerely, Shelby"
~R~S~R~S~R~S~R~S~
Rachel checked her email sometime around 3:00 AM. She was overwhelmed. She couldn't respond just yet. She had tried out a few new songs, but ended up listening to one of her old playlists. Slowly, she put her laptop away. She hugged her knees and rocked back and forth gently. At least it was quiet now. The house filled with early morning stillness. If she thought about the frost covering the grass, keeping it cold, if she thought about how fuzzy the hallway would look to her sleep-deprived eyes under the fluorescent lights, if she thought of how much it would hurt to see Shelby—it still didn't change the fact that Cassandra July was asleep in the other room, and could wake at any moment.
~R~S~R~S~R~S~R~
"Get up Rachel. Now."
The bright light stung Rachel's eyes. She groaned and pulled her blankets over her head.
"No, you don't get to be lazy." Cassandra ripped the blanket backwards, exposing Rachel's body to the harsh light and to her gaze.
She seized Rachel's ankles and dragged her out of the bed. Rachel landed on the ground and felt tears spring to her eyes. Cassandra dragged her across the room, towards her closet. "Get dressed, or do you need me to dress you myself? No wonder you get such horrible grades, you're so retarded you can't even wake up on time."
Cassandra slammed the door to Rachel's room and was gone. Rachel hugged her knees and sobbed.
~S~R~S~R~S~R~S~
Ms. Corcoran arrived at school early, and went into the front office. "Hi, I need to report an incident—" Shelby paused, hearing something, and turned around.
Rachel was sitting in one of the chairs, wiping at her eyes and sniffling.
"Rachel?" Shelby approached her delicately.
"H-hi Ms. Corcoran," Rachel said, looking up at her through tear filled eyes.
Shelby sat down beside her. "What happened?"
"Oh," Rachel looked down at her hands. "I'm just here to visit my counselor."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I—no?"
"Rachel," Shelby said in a low voice. "Recently, I received concerning emails from a student, who was in trouble. Was that you?"
Rachel sobbed, buried her face in her hands and nodded. Shelby instinctively rubbed circles on her back but Rachel flinched away from the touch and so she withdrew her hand.
Shelby knelt down in front of Rachel. "Please, tell me what's going on."
Shelby's gentle yet commanding tone calmed Rachel a little.
"It's my mom." Rachel whispered. "We're not getting along. I just...I can't live up to her expectations."
"Are you in any danger?"
"No." Rachel shook her head. "No, my mom would never hurt me, it's just, I can't be all that she wants me to be, that's all."
Shelby let out a breath.
"I'm sorry I sent you those emails," Rachel said. "I-I shouldn't have."
"That's alright," Shelby said. "We all need help sometimes. I want you to know that you can talk to me. I'm here if, when, you need me."
"Thank you, Ms. Corcoran."
Shelby looked down at her watch, shoot. Well, at least she didn't have to fill out any forms about the emails now.
"AnyMouse," Shelby smiled. "I like it. It's cute."
Rachel gave her a watery smile in return.
"I'm glad you're getting help from your counselor, that's good Rachel. Will you stop by my tutorial later today and tell me how everything went?"
Rachel nodded.
"Okay, I have to go now. But I will see you soon."
"See you."
Shelby glanced at Rachel one more time before exiting.
Author's Note: Did you catch my reference to If/Then? :D I love the dynamic between Rachel and Shelby, I always wished they were on the show more. This feels like it might be a little bit rushed, but I hope it still feels believable. I feel like a chance meeting between the two, especially when Rachel is in a vulnerable state, would be the thing that would make Rachel able to speak to Shelby, because the situation is just so unexpected. That's why I wrote it this way. I hope everyone is doing well!
