Chapter 7: Brainwashed and Lonely Lovers

Disclaimer: Me no own…bleh…only the plot is the idea of Asheron Karuma and demonz8000!! Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny is owned by Hajime Yatate and Yoshiyuki Tomino and Masatsugu Iwase does the awesome drawing!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! GUNDAM RULEZ!!!!


He struggled. It couldn't happen like this, he wasn't going to be brainwashed; they couldn't make him! But alas, Dr. Shushimi gave him a calming shot and they got the helmet on him.

Shinn didn't really know what to expect. When he talked to Stellar (the little time he got to talk to her) she didn't say anything about the brainwashing machine or how it felt. Shinn wished now that he had asked her, what it did, how it felt; would you even know?

He was scared, he didn't want to lose his memories of Kira and his friends, he didn't want to wake up and be a cold-hearted killer, he didn't want to be in another war and kill other young boy's families.

"You'd do best to respect me after this; boy, or else I'll use this handy-dandy device here to zap you into place. Ha, ha, ha!" Rowan said and pulled out a tazer. Gosh Shinn hated those things.

He only glared at Rowan who nodded to the doctor who in turn flipped the switch to control Shinn's entire destiny and fate. Durandal wasn't there, no one was there; at least Shinn knew Durandal and had trusted him at one point, he was in fact Shinn's role model at the time!

Shinn felt a weird sensation start from his head and go through his body, to his toes. It was a tingly feeling, almost ticklish even if it wasn't so annoyingly static. Shinn felt himself grow drowsy, like he was being hypnotized-which in reality he was.

He couldn't move, couldn't talk; couldn't even feel. He heard a distant voice even though he saw Rowan standing right over him.

"Shinn, you will listen to me and Gilbert Durandal. Do you understand?" he heard Rowan's distant voice command. He fought the urge to say no, but heard himself say "Yes." in a strange, robotic voice.

"Good, you will do exactly what we say and will never disobey us, no matter what, unless we tell you to that is; do you understand?" Rowan asked again in that commanding tone, although Shinn felt as if he was a small child.

"Yes." He heard himself say in that cold, unnatural voice again. "Very good." Rowan said and grinned. Shinn still couldn't move, his eyes were focused forward, he felt blank and empty.

"Now, what should be his block word, something that will make him snap, something that will make him automatically obey…Stellar was afraid of death, so that was her word, is he afraid of death?" Rowan was asking himself.

"How about rape. He's afraid of that." He heard Gilbert say and tensed. Rowan saw this and grinned again. "But of course, the perfect word!" he said. 'No, please no…' Shinn thought.

"When you hear the word 'rape', you will automatically freeze and do whatever I or Gilbert here says, you will be sent into shock, do you understand?" Rowan asked. Shinn struggled, oh did he struggle, but eventually he said weakly, "Yes." and tried to fight the machine, but it was no use.

"Good, now to test it." Rowan said and grinned maliciously. "Rape." He said. The single word sent a shiver down Shinn's spine. He was already frozen, but he still tensed even more, his breathing grew heavy; he was afraid.

"Perfect." Rowan purred and nodded to Dr. Shushimi. He lifted the helmet off of Shinn's head, who felt light-headed and dazed. He blinked in the bright light and groaned, closing his eyes and trying to move.

He felt someone help him up; it was Gilbert, their eyes met. Suddenly Shinn felt different; empty, emotionless, like there was nothing inside of him. He put on a hard look, the only thing he knew how to do at the moment.

He had a strange feeling they did something more than just make him obey them.

"Shinn Asuka." Gilbert said and the young man straightened up, eyes staring forward, like he was in military school all over again…except obeying was mandatory, not optional.

"Stand up." Gilbert commanded again as Rowan was bouncing on his feet again. Shinn stood, automatically. There was no question, no second thoughts, no wanting to remain seated.

Shinn Asuka no longer had free will.


"Miss Cagalli! Miss Cagalli! We've found something!" the young man from before yelled as he ran down the hall. Cagalli stood as he rushed into his office, holding some papers and panting for breath.

"Yes, what is it?" she asked. "The terrorist organization…called Cosmic Evolution…has planned a meeting to discuss…the plans of destroying Earth…it seems they've finally gotten something…they've been waiting on…a weapon or something…here." The young man said while trying to catch his breath and handed Cagalli the papers he was holding.

It was a copy of a fax. It was sent to a name that Cagalli couldn't make out on the blurry sheet. It had the logo of Cosmic Evolution and was sent by Rowan Sterling himself and was labeled Cosmic Evolution Meeting. This is what she read:

The Cosmic Evolution group will meet at the PLANT warehouse where we had our first meeting. It will be held on Wednesday, the 15th, at 6:00 p.m. We have just recently acquired the weapon that we were hoping to achieve and are now testing it. There will be a demonstration at the warehouse of this weapon and a vote to decide whether we will put it to use in our newly revised Destiny Plan. No one is to say anything of this meeting or the weapon, burn this after you receive it.

Sincerely,

Rowan Sterling

Co-Leader of C.E

Cagalli stared at it for a while. This was the first real news besides the documents that confirmed what she feared was true: They were going to use Shinn as their Ace pilot in their plot to destroy Earth.

'Oh God…' she thought. The young man waited expectantly at her door. "Th-thank you, please continue to find out any information about this meeting and anything about Shinn. You are dismissed." She said and he left after saluting.

She sat at her desk, re-reading the paper, and picked up the phone.

Ring! "I'll get it!" Athrun called when he heard the phone ring. He went into the kitchen and answered it. "Hello?"

"Athrun, it's me, Cagalli."

"Oh, have you heard anything?" he asked, hope fluttering in his chest.

She sighed. "The Cosmic Evolution is going to hold a meeting in PLANT concerning the 'new weapon' they recently acquired, I'm sending you the copy of the fax, although it may be hard to read." She said.

Athrun took the cordless phone into the study/work office and sat at the desk, a fax was coming through from Cagalli. He took it out, it was even more blurry, but he read it nonetheless. His emerald eyes widened.

"Kira!" he called, although not knowing whether Kira should really see this or not. "Is this it?" Athrun asked Cagalli.

"Yes, I told my man to continue searching for Shinn and to gather as much information about this meeting as possible." Cagalli told him.

Kira trudged in and went over to Athrun, a curious look in his dull eyes. "What?" he asked from behind Athrun. "Here, you need to see this." Athrun said and handed over the fax.

As Kira read it his amethyst eyes widened and a frown graced his handsome face. "Does this mean what I think it means?" he asked in a strangely cold voice.

"We believe so, Shinn is the weapon, at least that's what we think; it makes sense." Athrun told him.

"I'm going. Tell Cagalli to find out where it is exactly." Kira said and then left the room before Athrun could say anything.

"He wants to go." Athrun sighed. "They're trying to find out what warehouse the last meeting was at, Athrun, do you think it would be wise if Kira went? It would be dangerous; he'd be walking into his own death!" Cagalli said, sounding worried.

"I know, but he can't be stopped, I'll send someone to go with him." Athrun told her.

"You aren't actually going to allow him to go are you!? This is crazy! Athrun you have to stop him!" Cagalli screamed.

"I can't, maybe this can work out, just trust us ok?" Athrun asked. "I think he's gotten to you," Cagalli said with a sniff. "But ok, I trust you Athrun, just be careful, please!" she pleaded.

"I promise, call me when they find out where it is, ok? Love you." Athrun said. "Ok, I will, love you too, bye." She said and they hung up.

Shinn was captured on Sunday, and today was Monday. They only had two days to find out where the meeting will be held and get to PLANT. But Kira was determined, and so was Athrun.


"Now, I've sent the fax out to everyone about the meeting, we need to see if Shinn will be able to perform to his greatest ability." Rowan said to Gilbert. They had left Shinn to Dr. Shushimi, who ran some test and basically treated him like a guinea pig (I LOVE YOU JELLY BEAN!!!!! Uh…I have a pet Guinea Pig…..named Jelly Bean….don't ask….).

Shinn wasn't allowed to stop him, or do much of anything for that matter, Rowan made that clear. He couldn't attack anyone unless they told him, he couldn't talk back to anyone–he couldn't even talk unless spoken to!-, he'd just have to sit there and let Dr. Shushimi probe him. (Shudders)

"Yes, I'm sure that he is well capable." Durandal told him. "Well, yes, I'm sure he is, but it's been about a year since the war, do you think he might be…rusty?" Rowan asked. Gilbert blinked. "Athrun and Kira were out of the war for two years and got right back in better than ever." He replied as if it were common knowledge.

"I see." Rowan said although still looking unconvinced. "Do you have a Gundam he could test his skills in?" Gilbert asked. "Yes! Yes I just managed to get a hold of one, I believe you'll be quite surprised…" Rowan said with a grin.

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. If anyone was involved with getting the Gundams together it was him, least of all Rowan Sterling. 'I wonder what he got, or if he even knows, and how he got it. Hmmm,' Gilbert thought but followed Rowan.

They went down a long hallway that led to their makeshift hangar, it didn't have any gundams in it yet (except for the one Rowan was about to present to Gilbert) but after they were finished manufacturing the Nuke Gundams it would be stock full with them.

"Well, here it is! Mobile Suit Gundam Destiny! What do you think? Did I do good or what!?" Rowan boasted as Gilbert's jaw dropped. 'It couldn't be…' he thought and went up to the machine that was destined for Shinn Asuka since the beginning of time.

Gilbert thought that it had been held by Zaft, or destroyed at the end of the war; he wasn't sure what happened since he was still in Zaft jail.

"How did you get this?" he asked, giving Rowan a suspicious look. "Well, it was quite difficult, and I had to do some sneaking, but of course that's what we're doing right now isn't it? And I managed to convince Zaft to lend it to me for a special training curriculum I was leading." Rowan said and grinned.

"What if Athrun Zala found out? He is the current Chairman, after all, I doubt he'd let this Gundam slip right out from under his nose." Gilbert told him. "Don't you know? We have some inside adversaries, I'll introduce you to them at the meeting." Sterling told him nonchalantly.

Gilbert Durandal stared up at the machine and flashes of the last war ran through his mind. Shinn was destined for this machine after all, even though he didn't get it like Gilbert had intended (in the series Shinn gets the Destiny and Luna gets Impulse, but in my story after he left Zaft he stayed in the Impulse).

'I wonder how he'll react, or if he'll even know.' He thought. "Let's get him, shall we?" Rowan asked and stood by the door, waiting. Gilbert nodded and reluctantly left the Gundam.

They found Shinn sitting on the table with wires all over him, while he looked seriously annoyed. At the moment he was making faces at the doctor behind his back. "Shinn! Stop that foolishness now!" Rowan roared and Shinn stopped and stood up straight, putting on the serious face from before.

Gilbert chuckled and Rowan turned to look at him, and he coughed and looked around, as if nothing happened.

"How are things coming?" Rowan asked the doctor. "Good, he seems in good condition, although I think he should've been under the machine's control for a bit longer." Dr. Shushimi said.

Shinn was making a cutting motion across his neck from behind Rowan at the doctor, who frowned at him. Gilbert, however, saw too and chuckled again. Rowan turned around and Shinn was in his serious stance again, pretending innocence.

"Yes, we might do that later for a longer period of time; I just wanted to see how susceptible he would be to it. Do you mind if we take him for a while?" Rowan said after turning back to the doctor.

Shinn stuck out his tongue at Rowan and the doctor's face heated up as Shinn smirked at him. Durandal was beside himself in laughter at Shinn's antics.

'Good, it's working…' Shinn thought and returned to normal when Rowan once again spun around to glare at Shinn. Shinn blinked as Rowan stood his ground.

"Yes, you can have him." The doctor said through clenched teeth and started pulling the wires off of Shinn who ripped them from his body and grabbed his shirt.

Rowan was still staring at him, as if waiting for him to act up again. "Is there something you want to say, sir?" Shinn asked with a slight sneer. Rowan hesitated before commanding, "Follow us."

He turned on his heel and Shinn followed, Durandal went beside Shinn, who still seemed wary of him. Dr. Shushimi was muttering a few incoherent words in his native tongue as they walked away and Shinn fought the urge to grin.

Gilbert slowed a bit and motioned for Shinn to slow as well, the boy reluctantly fell behind, although he was alert for anything that the former chairman might do.

"What was that back there?" Gilbert whispered to him. "Nothing." Shinn replied. Gil raised an eyebrow. "It was certainly something, why were you acting that way towards the doctor? And you better not answer with 'nothing' again." He said in a warning tone.

Shinn glared at him from the side. "He was pissing me off." He said. "It seems he was right then, you should spend more time being brainwashed if we wish to control you." Gilbert said and smirked as Shinn stopped in his tracks and stared up at him in horror.

Gilbert turned back at him with the smirk in place. "Oh? You don't want that do you?" he asked. Shinn shook his head, still rooted to the spot. "Then you should be more careful in case Rowan finds out, am I clear?" Gilbert asked. "Yes, sir." Shinn said and thought back to when he said that with a salute to the same man.

And then he remembered something he'd been dreading he'd remember. The last time he saw Gilbert Durandal during the war, that night when it all went wrong…

Shinn shook his head and went over to the wall. Gilbert looked questioning and came toward him. "Shinn? Are you ok?" he asked. "I-I'm ok, sir, it's just a side effect from what that doctor did to me." and flinched with the lie that if one word was replaced could be the truth. (Get it? "…side effect from what YOU did to me.")

Gilbert frowned. "We should hurry in case Rowan gets angry at us for falling behind. He wants to show you something interesting." He said and Shinn went away form the wall and down the hall.

He could have run then and there, he thought about it, but knew it wouldn't be wise, even though Gilbert was older he was still a coordinator and could still catch him, then the consequences would be worse than now. 'If I play my cards right things might just work out for me…' Shinn thought and continued walking with Gilbert at his side.


"Did she find out where the meeting will be yet?" Kira asked Athrun. "I haven't heard anything yet. Did you eat dinner?" Athrun asked him. "No." Kira replied. "You should really eat, Kira." Athrun said, concerned. "I'm not hungry, Athrun." Kira replied defiantly.

Athrun frowned. "You should eat anyway, I'm really worried about you." He said. "Tch, whatever Athrun. I said I wasn't hungry." Kira snorted and went to leave. Athrun got up and grabbed his wrist and then dragged him down the hall to the kitchen.

"What are you doing?! Let go!" Kira shouted angrily and tried to yank free. "See? You're grumpy, you need to eat." Athrun told him and Kira growled while struggling again. Suddenly Athrun slammed him against the wall and they glared at each other.

Athrun's eyes softened and he sighed while Kira still glared at him. "Listen Kira, I'm just worried about you, you're acting so…strange." He said. "No shit Sherlock, my husband has been kidnapped and is probably being tortured right now." Kira snapped.

Athrun glared again. "Fine. Starve yourself, don't sleep, but I'm telling you Kira, it'd be better if you take care of yourself. You always think about others, you never think of yourself. You think you can just let yourself wither away while waiting for your beloved to return, but what if he doesn't? Or what if he's changed? What will you say when Shinn asks you why you look like a zombie? What will you do when he asks me why I didn't make sure you took care of yourself and goes berserk on us like he did before? Huh?

"You have to live your life Kira, not control anyone else's or live anyone else's, you know Shinn wouldn't want to find out you've been acting like this because of him." Athrun told him.

Kira stared at Athrun for a while with his beautiful amethyst eyes that were filled with pain and sorrow. Athrun let go of him, surprised by what he said. Kira's eyes started to water.

"Kira, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." He said. But Kira clung to him and started crying. "I'm sorry Athrun, you're right. I just…just miss him." He cried. Athrun held him and rubbed his back. "I know, I shouldn't have said that." He repeated.

"No, you were right to say those things. And Shinn won't want to see me like this when he returns." Kira said but still clung to Athrun. The blue-haired man didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything as he held Kira who stopped crying.

"Kira…" Athrun said as a warning signal sounded off in his head. "What?" Kira sniffed, still holding on to Athrun's neck and resting his head in the crook of his neck. "Um, we should eat." Athrun said, starting to feel uneasy.

Kira lifted his head and looked disappointed for a second. "I'm, I'm not hungry though, really, maybe later." He said and looked almost pleading. "Fine, but I'm hungry." Athrun said and tried to get him to let go.

"No, s-stay with me, please?" Kira begged, clutching Athrun's wrist. "Kira…" Athrun said, not liking the situation he was in.

He knew Kira. He didn't like to be alone. And in the state he was in, he would want Athrun as a substitute for Shinn…yeah…you get the picture. Poor Athrun.

"I don't feel so alone when I'm with you." Kira said, moving closer to Athrun, putting his puppy dog eyes on full power. "Kira, Shinn will return soon, and I have Cagalli. Maybe Murrue can take you to dinner later, or you can hang out with Andy if you're still not hungry." Athrun told him, trying to break free from the Ultimate Coordinator's grip.

"But I want to be with you, now." Kira said with forced innocence. Athrun sighed. "You can't ask me this, Kira." He said. Kira frowned.

And then kissed him.

Athrun was taken aback as Kira grabbed him and pressed his lips against his. He pinned him against the wall again and looked incredulously at him. Kira gave him a semi-sheepish look covered with lust. 'I shouldn't do this, Cagalli would be angry, Shinn would kill me if he ever found out, and…oh what the heck, I've had a crush on him ever since childhood!' Athrun thought and kissed him back.

Kira moaned and wound his hands in Athrun's hair. Athrun led him down the hall, into his room…

Oh dear.


-Author's Note: MUWAHAHA!!!! I AM SO THE QUEEN OF TWISTS!!! Didn't see that coming now did ya?? So what do you think? Don't worry; this is still a ShinnxKira fic!! Shinn's reaction to the Destiny Gundam will be delayed to the next chapter since I can't resist but to leave this chapter off like this! Woot! I can't wait to read your reviews! And guess what? If no one reviews, or if only a few people review…NO UPDATE! HA! So if you really like this fic and want it to continue…REVIEW!!! PLEASE!!! Even criticism is accepted! I'M DESPERATE PEOPLE! Well, anyways, that's all I have to say for now. Peace out!-