A/N Sooo...my deepest apologies for not updating in over 2 weeks. You know what writer's block is like, right? It's awful and depressing. Anyway, I give you: Rumours!


Brittany S. Pierce is now friends with Lord Tubbington

Santana Lopez You made a facebook profile for your cat?

Brittany S. Pierce What are you talking about? lord tubbington made the profile himself.

Tina Cohen-Chang Cats can't make facebook profiles, Brittany.

Brittany S. Pierce lord tubbington is good with computers

Lord Tubbington damn straight

15 people like this

Tina Cohen-Chang please don't tell me your cat actually wrote that ^^

Brittany S. Pierce lord tubbington is very talented

Lord Tubbington likes this

Wes Leung Jokes aside, I honestly cannot believe you made a facebook profile for your cat.

Jeff Nicholls you're one to talk! You made a profile for your gavel last year!

12 people like this

Wes Leung shut up! That was different x[

Jeff Nicholls why, cuz it's an inanimate object?

Wes Leung WARBLER JEFF YOU SHALL NOT INSULT THE AUTHORITY OF THE ALMIGHTY GAVEL.


Blaine Anderson misses Kurt Hummel already :/ via iPhone

Thad Howard likes this

Thad Howard Yeah, we all know – you keep skulking off, downing your sorrows in medium drips and listening to 'Blackbird' on repeat.

13 people like this

Blaine Anderson No I don't!

Trent Daniels You're doing it right now.

10 people like this

Kurt Hummel Aww, Blaine. I miss you too :)

Mercedes Jones damn straight he does! Every time he opens his locker, he stares at his Blaine shrine for at least a minute.

Blaine Anderson He has a shrine of me in his locker?

Kurt Hummel MERCEDES!

Mercedes Jones hell yeah he does! It's been there since the first day he met you.

Trent Daniels, Thad Howard and Jeff Nicholls like this

Thad Howard LMAO!

Kurt Hummel *blushes violently*

Blaine Anderson Really? So THAT'S why you asked for a photograph of me the first time we met XD

Kurt Hummel I am dreadfully embarrassed.

Blaine Anderson I think it's cute :)

Kurt Hummel I think you're cute :)

Blaine Anderson ;)

Thad Howard guys, I'm gonna stop you right there. I think you should get your PDA and take it to Private Messaging. Y'know, before this turns into public cybersex.

Santana Lopez likes this


Rachel Berry is on stakeout with Finn Hudson :D via iPhone

Quinn Fabray Finn Hudson! Why are you staking out with RACHEL?

Finn Hudson because we're making sure that a certain blonde former cheerio isn't getting it on with a certain big-lipped blondie.

Quinn Fabray OMG FINN PM ME NOW!

Finn Hudson sorry I don't know how to PM on iPhone :/

Quinn Fabray I am not cheating on you with Sam!

Finn Hudson You cheated on me with Puck, and you cheated on Sam with me. Why should I trust you?

Trent Daniels Wow. So much drama goes on in New Directions.

Thad Howard lmao. Who needs soap operas when I could just log in to Facebook and look on my News Feed?


Brittany S. Pierce is no longer in a relationship with Artie Abrams

Wes Leung let me guess, Artie rolled over Lord Tubbington's tail with his wheelchair and you broke up with him

Brittany S. Pierce artie called me stupid :(

Artie Abrams I don't understand why you got so upset, Brittany...I mean, you wrote 'I'm with stoopid' on your Born This Way shirt...

Santana Lopez Touche, FOUR EYES, but maybe you're forgetting that that happened two weeks ago and is therefore irrelevant.

Artie Abrams truth...


Santana Lopez I would like to address the harsh rumors circulating around the school that last night, Dave Karofsky and I went on a wild, sexual escapade around the school, doing it in every classroom, the library, on the principal's desk and the cafeteria, using up all the whipped cream and chocolate sauce from the refrigerator in the process, before proceeding to have rough, hard sex in the back of his truck. I am confirming these rumors to be 100% true.

Thad Howard I did not need to know that...

Trent Daniels *sheilds eyes* I am mentally scarred!

Wes Leung my news feed was nice and clean and professional before I added the New Directions.

Kurt Hummel Santana, I think he missed a spot – there's still some whipped cream in YOUR BEARD.

18 people like this

Jeff Nicholls If these rumors are true, Karofsky must be taking a shitload of Viagra...

25 people like this


Dave Karofsky luvs Santanna lopez :)

Santana Lopez likes this

Wes Leung

Thad Howard I lol'd

Jeff Nicholls this relationship makes me LMAO and barf at the same time

Wes Leung Still, it's nice to see Karofsky posting something on his profile which isn't something to do with the Buckeyes...or Farmville.


Lord Tubbington likes the pages Smoking and Drinking

Brittany S. Pierce Lord Tubbington! I thought you were giving up :(

Lord Tubbington that's not how I roll

Brittany S. Pierce but you promised! And you're not following your Atkins diet either :(

Lord Tubbington I've had enough of that nasty cheese

Tina Cohen-Chang Am I the only one who is confused about the mechanics of this conversation?

35 people like this


Santana Lopez created the poll: Klaine or Kum?

Kurt Hummel Oh dear god, what is this.

Santana Lopez Well since you've been fooling around with Trouty Mouth I just wanted to create a poll to see which relationship is more popular.

Kurt Hummel I AM NOT FOOLING AROUND WITH SAM!

Wes Leung Kum... *sniggers*

Thad Howard I think the term 'Hevans' is more appropriate.

Wes Leung are you kidding, 'kum' sounds awesome.

Thad Howard It's called Hevans!

Wes Leung Kum!

Thad Howard HEVANS!

Wes Leung KUM!

Thad Howard HEVANS!

Kurt Hummel OH MY GOD GUYS I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING WITH SAM!

Brittany S. Pierce I want to vote for klaine but I'm confused...the options say 'froggy lips' and 'tri-brows'...which am I supposed to click on?

Kurt Hummel JUST DELETE THIS POLL NOW.


Brittany S. Pierce wants to know why Santana Lopez isn't coming on Fondue For Two with me tonight :(

Santana Lopez I can't do it, Britts. I'm sorry

Lord Tubbington Santana isn't coming? Where am I going to get my cigars from now? :/


Rachel Berry In response to Kurt Hummel's ridiculous denial concerning his motel visits to Sam, I would like to inform him that his actions are highly conspicuous. I saw Sam in Spanish class today wearing bright purple jeans and a beige trench coat. And a bowtie, no less!

Kurt Hummel Oh, is this my cue to list the faults of the outfit you wore today?

Rachel Berry I'm simply accusing you of infidelity.

Kurt Hummel Oh my god, why does no-one believe me?

Blaine Anderson Kurt. Can you PM me? Please?


Kurt Hummel

Blaine, please don't tell me you believe those rumors about Sam and I.

Blaine Anderson

Why were you with him in that motel room? Did you know that there's rumors going around that you're having threesomes with Sam and Quinn now? :/

Kurt Hummel

Oh dear god. These rumors have got to end.

Sam's house got repossessed a few weeks ago and now he's homeless. I'm simply letting him borrow some of my clothes.

Blaine Anderson

Then...why isn't Sam on facebook denying the rumors?

Kurt Hummel

His laptop got repossessed too. Well, actually, some bailiffs threw it out the window.

Blaine Anderson

Oh.

Kurt Hummel

Yes. Oh.

Blaine Anderson

I'm so sorry for doubting you :( How can I make it up to you?

Kurt Hummel

You'd better get your sweet ass over to my house right now and find out ;)

Blaine Anderson

I'm on my way! ;)


Finn Hudson is confirming to everyone that the intense rumor circulating the school is in fact FALSE.

Santana Lopez which rumor? - the one about you being conceived on a pinball machine?

Finn Hudson No!

Santana Lopez So that rumor is true?

Finn Hudson No!

Carole Hudson-Hummel ^^^ that rumor is actually true

Finn Hudson MOM!


Blaine Anderson I somehow assumed that my punishment for doubting Kurt was not going to involve lugging shopping bags around the mall for him... via Blackberry

Kurt Hummel Well, how else was I going to replace all the clothes I gave to Sam? OMG Blaine, look! 40% off bowties sale at Macy's! via iPhone

Blaine Anderson can we make out after this? via Blackberry


Sam Evans would like to thank Finn Hudson for donating his Power Rangers bedspread to me :D

Santana Lopez Oh my god, I can't believe I used to date you.


A/N Okay, okay, I know this chapter sucked, don't kill me...

And by the way, the 4th section IS a personal jab at the lack of continuity this season. Lmao.

Anway, please review :D