OOC/

WARNING: This chapter contains subject matter about abortion. If this is uncomfortable for you, dear reader, feel free to skip this chapter and join us again for the next ones :) Maybe let me know you were here though, via review? Haha!!

Brace Yourself:

Triumph Over Tragedy

Chapter 7:
Throw Yourself Away

Baby's born on a bathroom floor
Her mother prays that it'll never cry
But nothing's wrong you've got you prom dress on
When they ask you'll say "It isn't mine."
You know they're gonna know you lied

Why the hell don't you throw yourself away?
You know they're gonna burn it down
Wash my hands of this
You notice how God ain't even helpin' you out
Wash my hands of this
You notice how God ain't even helping you out
Why the hell don't you throw yourself away?

You know they're gonna burn it down
So keep the way you feel anonymous
And hide it all until the day you die
You're secret's safe, at least you thought it was
You can only cape it for a little while

And damn you for thinking we will never know
And damn you for thinking we would never mind
Only reason that you made it this far
You have never asked but you never tried
And now you're terrified…

--

"There are some options for you, Mia. But please, take your time and think about what you want to do."

Next to her, Mia felt her mother squeeze her hand in reassurance. The woman before her, a nurse at the clinic named Chelsea, looked on with concern on her pale face. Mia could tell that she was judging her, even though she claimed to be neutral. Like Switzerland. Neutral.

Mia didn't buy it. Behind Chelsea's caring, dedicated eyes, she could feel her stabbing into her, wondering why on earth someone so young could've made such a stupid mistake.

Self consciously, she placed her hands on her lower abdomen.

"Thank you, Chelsea," Lori said gently, shaking the nurse's hand. "We'll be in touch and we'll let you know what we decide to do."

Mia stood up and exited the room without saying another word to her mother or to the nurse.

Jackie was waiting for her in the waiting room, flipping through an old issue of The Core.

"So?" she questioned, standing up to face Mia and Lori. Mia didn't need her to finish the question. She knew what she was going to ask. She nodded.

"It's true. I'm definitely pregnant. No doubt about it." Her tone was shallow, barely skimming the surface of how absolutely terrified she was now that the news was clear.

Jackie nodded, pursing her lips. "Do you have any idea what you want to do?" she voiced, unsure if now was the right time to ask.

She responded with a shrug as the three of the headed out to Lori's car. "I don't know. I don't know what to do."

Jackie opened the car door for Mia, and they both climbed into the back. "Well, what are your options?"

"Hungry?" Lori interrupted. "We could all go someplace and get something to eat."

Jackie nodded eagerly, and Mia shrugged. It seemed to be her new response to everything.

"My options? I could keep the baby. I could carry the baby to full term and give it up for adoption. Or… or I could have an abortion."

She felt her friend tense beside her and she let her shoulders sag. Of course, Jackie would be against abortion. She came from a very devout Catholic family, and they were rather right wing and pro life. To be honest, Mia was surprised that Jackie was being as supportive as she was, because she was so against pre-marital sex.

Nobody spoke until they got to the restaurant, Bonjour Brioche on Queen Street at DeGrassi Street. Although it was rather expensive, Mia didn't question if her mother had the funds to afford the meal. She was just thankful to be out of the car. She was beginning to feel sick.

After ordering, Jackie turned to face Mia once again. "Mia, you're not really going to have an abortion, are you?"

"Jackie-" Lori tried to intercept the conversation, but her daughter stopped her.

"It's okay, Mom. I need to figure this out."

There was an awkward tension. Then, Mia spoke.

"I might get an abortion. I don't know if I'm ready to have a kid. It wasn't exactly on my lists of things to do yet." She paused, thinking hard about what to say. "And I don't know if I want to be pregnant. I don't want to be a huge, pregnant seventh grader. Everyone would know." She could feel herself growing warm. "I would be so embarrassed."

"So you'd rather kill your baby then go through a little embarrassment? Think about the family you would be helping if you gave it up for adoption!" Mia could tell that Jackie was beginning to become hysterical.

She swallowed hard, trying hard not to cry. More than anything, she was tired of crying over everything that happened. She needed to remain strong.

"I don't know what to do," she said with exasperation, burying her face into her hands. "I wish there wasn't a decision to make! I just want this to be all over."

Her mother took her hand. "Honey, if you really want it to be all over, then you know what you can do. And I'm right here for you, whatever you decide to do." Lori shot a glance at Jackie, hoping she would second what had been said. To her disappointment, Jackie shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Mia. I can't support you if you decide to have an abortion." She stood up, putting her jacket on. "I should probably get home. Thanks for everything, Ms. Jones." She dropped a few dollars onto the table, then walked outside to wait for the bus.

Mia didn't have the strength to protest. "I want to go home, Mom," she whispered, her eyes not leaving the door that Jackie had exited from. "I'm not hungry anymore."

Her mother sighed. "Let me just get this stuff to go, okay?"

She nodded, knowing how much her mother hated to waste food. It didn't take long to change the order to go, and soon they were back in the car, heading toward home.

"I thought Jackie was supposed to be your friend," Lori said between clenched teeth as her hands gripped the steering wheel. Mia shrugged again. Typical.

"It's nothing, Mom. You know the kind of family she comes from. She's still my friend…"

"Will she be your friend if you do decide to have an abortion?"

Mia felt her face flush. "I don't know. At this point, part of me doesn't even care. I just want to do the right thing. Whatever that may be."

But the part of her that did care really understood where Jackie was coming from. This was an actual life, as opposed to her social life. She wasn't sure if that part of her was only defending her friend out of desperation, or if she really understood the gravity of killing the child. But… could she even call it a child yet? At this point it was just a barely-formed wormy thing. Was it so bad if she got the abortion that made so many people cringe in disgust? She sighed heavily, feeling more conflicted than she had ever before felt.

"Mom, what would you do in my position?"

The pause that filled the air was both long and awkward. But based on the question, that much had been evident even before the last syllable had been uttered. Mia longed to spare a glance to the drivers seat to see her mother's expression, but at the same time dared not to. Instead she picked uncomfortably at her fingernail, focusing all of her attention onto it.

"That's… difficult to say, Mia," Lori spoke slowly, choosing her words with utmost deliberation. Mia didn't even need to look up. She could imagine the pink tinge to Lori's cheeks, and the struggle to find the right thing to say glittering in her eyes. "I'd have to consider my options very carefully…"

"Yeah, yeah, options," Mia brushed off the comment with an absent wave of her hand, "I know all this. I mean, after you were done considering, what would you do?"

Another pause. It was absolutely maddening. Mia had picked her nail down to a ragged stub, and moved on to the next one, chewing off a particularly stubborn bit. She watched the digital clock on the dash. Could those really be mere minutes ticking by? She could have sworn that hours had been passing since she'd voiced her innocent inquiry. She waited until roughly eight minutes had passed before sighing and looking up.

"Never mind," she muttered at last, slumping hopelessly down in her seat, "You don't have to answer."

"Oh, baby…" Lori took one hand off the wheel to comfortingly grip Mia's shoulder, "I realize how difficult this must be for you."

Yeah, no thanks to you. But Mia chose not to speak her mind at that moment. Instead she just nodded sadly, watching the world through the slightly dingy windshield. Her mom seemed to sense her disappointment and returned both hands to the wheel.

Mia found herself pondering why she was feeling so disappointed. Had she been hoping that mummy would give her an easy answer to this problem? A quick fix? Lori couldn't even help her when she brought home difficult homework. She realized in a flash that she couldn't just find a solution by asking someone else. Besides, it seemed that any choice she made would be completely wrong in the eyes of another.

She hadn't expected everything to be so hard. She hadn't exactly expected anything. How could she, when this hadn't been on her list of things to do by the time she reached her seventh grade year,

It wasn't supposed to be this way. But did that mean that she had the liberty to end the life of a potential child that would probably bring her so much joy and love in the future?

"Mom… did you ever consider having an abortion with me?" She hadn't meant to speak it. It had just slipped out of her mouth. It was question that she had never asked before and wasn't ever planning on it, afraid of what the answer could be.

Her mother had been rather young, in her mid twenties, when she had become pregnant with Mia. She had been seeing the man who was her father when she had become pregnant, but he had proceeded to run out of their lives when he learned of the pregnancy. Just like Lucas, Mia thought bitterly, but swallowed her own feelings as she waited for her mother to reply.

It didn't take nearly as much time to answer than it had for her rhetorical question before. Her mother took her eyes off of the road to look Mia straight in the eye. Thankfully, they were at a red light.

"My friends wanted me to," she began, her face expressionless. "Gramma wanted me to, as well. But I was in the position where I could care for a child. I had a good job. I was happy, healthy. I had great friends, and I almost felt like it was right. I never considered having an abortion, Mia. But that was nothing like this. This… this is new territory completely."

Which is why you had nothing to say before. She nodded at her mother's story as the light turned green. They were almost home.

She climbed awkwardly out of the front seat as her mother pulled the van into the driveway. Looking down, she hurried into the house, eager to retreat to her room and disappear into her thoughts, where there was no baby and no decision to make.

"Mia?" Her mother was calling her from the bottom of the stairs. She turned around, hand gripped the railing.

"Yeah?"

"You forgot something." Lori took a black photo out of her purse and walked up the stairs to hand it to her daughter before heading back downstairs into the kitchen.

Mia didn't look at it until she was safe behind her locked door. Laying on her bed, her eyes took it all in. It… it was her. Well, it was the inside of her. Circled in white was a small bean shaped sect.

Her child.

She almost stopped breathing. Staring back at her was her unborn child. Her own flesh and blood. What could one day be her everything.

It took her a few moments to regain her breath. It was real. This was her reality. How could she change what had already happened? She didn't have that right.

It wasn't the child's fault.

Her fingers traced over the picture, then over her own stomach. And, although the baby wasn't along that far developmentally, Mia thought she could feel it's heart beating beneath her hands.

Reaching for the phone beside her bed, she quickly dialed and put the receiver to her ear.

"Jackie? It's Mia… yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna keep this baby."

And for the first time in weeks, she smiled.

OOC/ Before I say anything else, I have to give a HUGE thanks to my dearest friend Fear for helping me write this chapter when I was struggling with writer's block. She is my hero.

Anyway- this was the hardest chapter yet. I didn't want Jackie to be the bad guy and leave like Jane and Lucas did. I just wanted to bring in how uncomfortable it makes some people when abortion is brought up. I should also mention that I am pro-choice, yadda yadda. Okay. Done with that ramble.

Next chapter will be up soon! Please review, especially on this chapter. I need feedback on how it all came together.

-ELPHIE