What was I thinking?
Eriko sighed. Her impulse had the best of her again that time. No, it was not what she was thinking. She was not thinking at all. She was not thinking when she pulled Hitomi and did in accordance with her impulse.
Two days have passed since she kissed Hitomi. Still, she could not bring the thought of it to rest… more so, as she would be walking with her again on the way home. On the way… home? Wait. She was to see Hitomi again after the incident? She hesitated at this. What if Hitomi avoided her? What if Hitomi no longer wanted to see her? What if…?
'This isn't fair,' Eriko thought, gripping her pen tightly, tipping it forcibly against the upper right corner of her textbook. 'Why do I have to think about these things?' She did not want to think about what she had done anymore. Impulse drove her to stop Hitomi to make her turn to her. Impulse drove her to take that step to reach out and kiss her.
Hitomi simply stood there after that. She said nothing. She did nothing. It was as if nothing happened. But… that look in Hitomi's eyes. What was it? There seemed to be confusion, fear… but what else was there? Something in those lonely gray eyes seemed to tell her to go further and reach into their beholder as they pierced through her soul.
'What is it you want, Hitomi… what?' Eriko thought, lifting her pen and beginning to scribble on top of the page. 'I must really be crazy… looking out for you like this… trying to reach you… wondering what you're thinking when I can't see you doing the same…'
Eriko lifted her pen. The scribble of characters read: Sawada Hitomi. 'Guess… I'll be seeing you later after all…'
"Torii-san," the instructor in front suddenly called. "Please read selection number three."
"Hai," Eriko blurted, lifting her head to the instructor's call.
What were you thinking?
Hitomi lightly placed her fingers on her cheek. 'Torii-san…' she thought, closing her eyes as the breeze brushed against her face. Eriko caught her just as she was not thinking about anything. And it happened all too fast.
Two days have passed since Eriko kissed her. Still, the images remained as vivid as they were that early evening. Like the images she captured on film. Her thoughts would not rest. She and Eriko were to meet again later. Meet again? Hitomi seemed to hesitate at this.
'This isn't fair,' Hitomi thought, letting putting her hand down and gripping the bench seat tightly. 'Why do I have to think about it so much?' She was not supposed to take the situation seriously. It was only a kiss on the cheek. It was not supposed to mean anything… was it?
Eriko's febrile warmth. The touch of her lips against Hitomi's cheek. The look in her eyes after. They seemed to reach Hitomi. They seemed to tell her something Eriko would not tell her. They seemed to have captured her.
'What is it you want, Torii-san… what?' Hitomi thought, sighing as she lifted her head to the sky. 'Things are different now… but… just how ready am I? She wouldn't tell me. But why is it… I'm always here? I'm always ready to go with her… to do as she wishes. My heart is at its surrender when it comes to her…' She reached for her shoulder, pressing lightly the wrapped injury beneath her dark uniform. 'Am I… going mad?'
Hitomi tilted her head toward the ground. 'Torii Eriko-san,' she thought, Eriko's smile flashing in her mind. Heart skipping a beat, she sighed. 'It seems… I will be seeing you again later after all.'
"Hitomi-san…"
Hitomi lifted her head again as she noticed a shadow had blocked her light. Rosa Gigantea. She had managed to find her here.
"Someone else was sitting on your usual place," Shimako said, sitting beside Hitomi.
"Were you looking for me?" Hitomi asked. "I must have tired you…"
Shimako shook her head. "You weren't far," she answered. "It wasn't hard to find you."
Hitomi smiled shyly at Shimako. That disposition and that answer, she could see and hear Alessa. 'Alessa…' Hitomi thought. She has recovered, yet she could still not forget.
"Rosa Chinensis gave you time off, didn't she?" Shimako asked.
Hitomi nodded.
"Did something happen?"
Hitomi shook her head. She was not to let anyone know about her injury or about the secret she shared with Sachiko.
"Those letters…" Shimako said. "…You threw them."
Hitomi turned to Shimako. She thought someone else had seen her that time. It had been Rosa Gigantea all along. "So you were the one who saw me."
Shimako nodded. "I volunteered to look for you. When I finally found you and Yumi-san, you were gathering the letters in your locker."
Hitomi did not say a word.
"May I ask why you did it?"
"I didn't have reason to read any of them," Hitomi answered.
"Eto…" Shimako reasoned. "I don't think anyone needs a reason to do so. Many students admire you, Hitomi-san."
"I'm appreciative of it, Rosa Gigantea," Hitomi said. "But you see… I may find it difficult to deal equally with the girls who wrote them … even if I may not know all of them personally." She paused for a moment. "I'm not special, and I don't think that much attention is --"
"That's not true," Shimako opposed, shaking her head. She looked into Hitomi's eyes for a moment. Then, she turned from Hitomi and tilted her head, holding her silence for another moment.
"Rosa Gigantea --"
"Please return to the Rose Mansion soon," Shimako said flatly, despite the gentleness still present in her voice. "I need to go. I remembered I have something else to do. Excuse me." She did not turn nor spare a passing glance at Hitomi as she said so. Then, she stood from her the bench and began to walk away. Faster. Faster until she began to run.
"Rosa Gigantea," Hitomi stood, calling in her effort to stop Shimako. But Shimako would not seem to hear her at all. And so, Hitomi watched Shimako move farther away from her, wondering why Shimako had acted that way and wondering where she herself had gone wrong.
The weeks have passed quietly. Ever since the last statement the Presse Royal has released about the Crown Princess' whereabouts, King Jean Aimeri has had not much to worry about.
Or so it seemed.
The king laid the white sheets in his hands on the table. The results. This was another issue he has to deal with. But unlike Isolde's, this, he cannot deny.
Presse Associée would do anything to look into the lives of the Famille Royal de la France. And up to an extent nobody can measure will they go, not minding if their actions would aid or destroy.
The king reclined on his chair.
'You cannot continue on without telling your children why.'
Degare was first to be asked to assume the throne, that of which he rejected for reasons the king did not know. But the king believed it was not because the people favored the younger, more aloof Isolde.
'Isolde is too young to be asked this, Jean Aimeri. Do not force her.'
His mother's words. Isolde was only twelve when the king had asked her in place of her brother, Degare. The king knew his mother's experiences of being Queen at a very young age. This was enough reason for her to say such. True enough, Isolde was young. Her heart, too, was not set toward the throne. But he believed that Isolde simply needed time to reconsider.
'I believe you daughter would make a good ruler one day. All she needs is time…'
This was what Alessa had said before she disappeared. Alessa was Isolde's childhood friend, the one to have seen her grow up from Chinatown to Paris and the one to know her more than any of her friends or family. But the king believed, too, that with Degare, she was the reason Isolde had become what she is now. More aloof. More withdrawn. More impassive.
'Please let me figure out for myself, Papa…'
Isolde has not said yes or no to her father's question… whether or not she will take the throne. She simply asked him to grant her the time to figure out. Figure out what exactly? The king granted her wish without further question, believing that Isolde would not forsake a seat that will soon be vacated.
'The throne is in need of an heir, yes, this holds true. However, at your approach toward things, the throne will need its heir sooner than we all think…'
The king picked up the white sheets, scanning them again. There was no telling how long. There was no telling how short. There was no telling what would happen next. The king wished there were an escape to this sentence.
A knock.
"Come in," the king said, cutting away from his thoughts as he put the sheets into the drawer on his left.
Aveline entered and bowed before the king. "Docteur Frank has arrived, your highness."
"Send him in, then, Aveline," the king said. "And… do close the door after his entry."
Hitomi walked on, eyes focused on the gate ahead. Eriko should be there behind it by now, just as scheduled. She would be waiting for her there.
Hitomi had thought about the possibilities. What Eriko might say. What Eriko might do. How Eriko might take the situation. How Eriko might deal with her. And she realized that regardless of all these possibilities, she will still see Eriko. This, she has decided.
She stepped out of the gate. She looked to the spot Eriko usually waited.
Eriko was not there.
Hitomi sighed, tilting her head. It seemed Eriko will not be seeing her today. Perhaps she could too busy to see her. Perhaps she could be running a little late. Or… perhaps, she would not want to see her anymore after what had happened. 'This is it, I suppose…' Hitomi thought. She glanced at her watch and decided to walk home on her own.
"Hitomi…" a voice suddenly called from behind.
Hitomi stopped but did not turn. Eriko's voice… she could recognize it from anywhere. Eriko? She is here? No. She believed her mind was only playing tricks on her. She took one step forward.
"You didn't think I'd let you go like just like that, did you?"
There it went again. Hitomi still could not believe it. It was then she felt something touch her hand. The burning warmth soon surrounded her arm, her palm, and her and fingers… That firm grasp. That light tug of assurance. Hitomi realized she was not dreaming. She turned to her side. Eriko. Yes, Eriko is here with her. She did come after all.
Eriko turned to Hitomi, smiling. "Shall we go?"
Hitomi nodded. That smile on Eriko's face… It was exactly as she pictured it.
Rikka's Note: I managed to come up with Chapter 7 sooner. But that doesn't mean my bout with the colds is over. I still have a long way to go. Anyway, if you'd like to see further notes on this fanfic, please go to: hakujou-rikka./. Thanks for reading, everyone.
