'No. No, no no no no. I outright refuse, I am absolutely against this' Lily began shaking her head furiously, all the while backing away from James and the two broomsticks he held. He tried not to smile at the look of horror on the redheads face.
'Lily' he said slowly, placing the brooms on the ground and walking over to her 'are you afraid of heights?' He tried his best to hide the amusement in his voice.
Lily jutted out her jaw and raised her head 'No I am not afraid of heights thank you very much.'
Of course not. 'Then why won't you come fly with me?'
She closed her eyes and groaned, James took the chance and pulled her in for a hug. He could feel her tense for a moment before wrapping her arms around his torso. James shivered slightly at the feel of her small figure in his arms. A huge grin appeared on his face at the way things were going. He had won her over, and although as just friends, he was confident that eventually he would get her to admit her feelings. But for now, as always, he was patient and waiting for this girl.
'I've had bad experiences with flying' she mumbled into his shirt. He pulled back so he could see her face and raised an eyebrow. She tilted her head up so he could look at him and he saw a glimpse of fear in her eyes. There was something deeper in her refusal.
'Lily it's okay, if you don't want to I get it'
She shook her head and pulled away, clasping her hands together nervously, 'In third year Severus told me to meet him out here at night. So I came out and he was out here with some of his Slytherin friends. They thought it would be funny to force me to fly, and' she swallowed and began blinking rapidly. 'I fell, and I hurt my leg. I called out to Sev, but he just laughed along with his friends', she clenched her jaw and shook her head, James could see that she was trying her best to keep composure.
James pulled her back into his arms, and overcome with the staggering realization that he would risk anything to keep her from harm. 'S'okay Lil's, we don't have to fly. I'm sorry he did that'
She sniffled and pulled away, wiping her face and letting out a weak laugh 'No, I'm being silly. How about we go on the same broom, but you have to steer.' She walked around James and picked up a broom, James could see just by the way she held it, that she wasn't at all comfortable with broomsticks. He took it gently from her hand, running his thumb on the soft wood. He wanted her to fly, he wouldn't force her but he wanted to share with her something that was important to him. He held it out to her, holding it low so she could step over it. He then slid behind her, wrapping his arms around her and gripping the broom with both hands. He could feel her fear.
'Lily-'
'James, it's okay, just don't you dare let me fall or else I will hex you to oblivion'
He was glad to head humor in her voice, but was a little too distracted by the scent of her perfume wafting in his direction. With a nervous gulp, he urged the broom to rise slowly but surely into the air, making sure to make slow turns and not go too high. He flew over top of the bleachers and heard Lily let out a squeal 'This is incredible' she cried.
James laughed and scooted a little bit closer 'James' she warned, knowing of his actions.
'Just trying to share body heat Lil's' he said, a playful grin on his face. This was what he wanted. He wanted to spend time with her, laugh and talk with her, sit close to her on the couch. He wanted to do everything with her that they would do if they were dating, but he would refrain from kissing her for now even though it was getting increasingly difficult to do so.
He continued flying for quite a long time, ramping up to doing more heart-racing and exhilarating tricks that made Lily lean back into him and laugh. James couldn't keep the smile off his face, he had his two favorite things in one moment and he couldn't possibly feel happier. Once he could feel Lily shivering he slowed the broom down and gently descended back down. Once her feet were touching the ground, he lowered the broom and let her step off it. She crossed her arms in an effort to keep warm and watched him pick up the two brooms and put them in his arms.
'That was seriously amazing James, thank you' she told him sincerely, falling into step with him as they headed indoors.
He shrugged, completely aware of how close she was walking to him 'I just wanted to show you something that was really important to me. To start off this whole friendship thing'
She was silent for a few moments 'Well I guess it's mine turn next then'
He turned to smile at her but his eye caught something at the end of the corridor that made his stomach flip, but not in a good way.
Melissa Freethy turned to face him and flashed a bright smile, raising her hand to give him a wave. He smiled back, aware that he couldn't suddenly be rude towards her now that Lily was talking to him, but he was also aware that he didn't want to lead her on. Unfortunately, his plan wasn't working because she bounced over to Lily and James, her long brown hair swaying in a way that would make most guys, including Sirius drool. 'Cheers' James nodded at her once she was standing near them. He felt Lily move closer to him, but wasn't sure if that was just because he wanted her to, or if she actually did.
'Hey James' she kept her eyes solely on him 'practicing for the next Quidditch game?'
He held the brooms up a little higher 'Got to be in the best condition to beat your house'
She laughed and pushed her hair off her shoulders, exposing her neck. James looked at a spot above her right shoulder. 'Hey, you've met Lily right?' He put a hand on Lily's back.
Melissa's smile faltered, but she recovered quickly 'Of course! Who doesn't know Lily Evans' she flashed a smile at James.
'Well she was helping me practice' he turned to Lily 'she's a spectacular flyer' he added with a mischievous grin.
Lily smirked 'Of course, I gave him plenty of pointers to improve his game'
Melissa was beginning to look awkward and James was relieved. 'Well, we've got to go do some homework. I'll see you around?' He didn't wait for a reply, gently applying pressure on Lily's back; they walked around Marissa and headed to their common room. Once out of earshot, Lily burst into giggles,
'You are horrible, she was star struck and you completely ignored it' she cried in laughter.
James laughed, but it was forced. He couldn't understand how one day prior, Melissa Freethy seemed alluring and fun and beautiful, but now, standing in the presence of Lily, she seemed dull and pathetic. Was it the fact that nothing could compare to Lily? And if so, he couldn't understand how he could think so damn highly of something who thought nothing special of him. How was that fair to him? Why couldn't he fall for Melissa, who would easily return the feelings? That was how Sirius felt all those years. He would ask James 'Is she really worth it?' or 'What's so special about Evans?' And James would try to answer, but in all honesty he had no fucking idea why he couldn't get over Lily. She wasn't anything like him, she was uptight and hardworking, she didn't hangout with any of the people he did, and she had been terribly rude to him since first year. It would be easier to stop liking her and James knew that. But he also knew that he couldn't stop liking her, he had tried and failed many, many times. There was something about her. Something about her red hair like no one else's, the way her green eyes flashed when he bothered her, the way she was small and delicate, but had the most fiery personality. She was exciting and wonderful and beautiful and sweet and intelligent and loving. She was it for James, and Sirius would laugh if he ever said it aloud, but he knew it. She was it for him.
'Hey' Lily said gently, nudging his side. He shook himself out of his reverie and found that they were standing outside the common room. He didn't even remember walking that far.
'Sorry' he said sheepishly to Lily. She shrugged it off easily,
'You were some place else, I understand. It happens to me all the time. Where are you headed now?'
James told the fat lady the password and entered the common room behind Lily 'I was planning on playing a game of chess and just hanging around. Dinner's soon anyways.' Lily nodded 'want to join the game?' He looked behind him to see Sirius and Peter already playing their game, as usual. 'I can force them away from the game for one round' he said with a grin.
Lily laughed, her eyes on the two boys who were getting increasingly into the game. 'I think I'm going to catch up on some reading by the fire. I'll see you at dinner though'
James felt a twinge of disappointment, but shrugged it away. She wasn't going to want to spend every second with him 'Sure, come sit with us, I'll tell Sirius to behave' he flashed a grin.
Lily laughed 'Okay' and headed towards the fire.
James had to refrain himself from literally skipping over to his friends. But he didn't stop the smile that grew on his face until his face was hurting from the strain. He sat down next to Sirius as Peter jumped up, yelling in success. The coincidence of the moment was not lost on James. But this time he was smiling. And that made all the difference for him. Sirius sat back in his chair and crossed his arms moodily 'Whatever Wormy, you cheat anyways.' Peter just laughed, too caught up in his victory,
'Too bad Padfoot, beat you again. I'm heading to dinner, either of you coming?' Both boys shook their head, Peter hesitated a moment before shrugging and walking towards the door. Once he was out of sight, Sirius looked at James, his gray eyes were dark an unwavering.
'What's your name again? I kind of forgot considering that I've hardly seen you at all since the term started' his voice was light, but James could hear hurt the under layer of humor
'Padfoot lay off it' he rolled his eyes with a smile, getting up and walking over to the opposite side of the table. He sat down on one of the chairs and began replacing the chess pieces.
'I'm serious James, I get that you were all mind-fucked over Evans, but you don't even tell me that she's now talking to you? Are you planning on drooling over her and following her like a sick puppy and ignoring us? Did you even remember that tonight's the full moon?' Sirius's voice got increasingly louder.
James felt his face pale. He had momentarily forgot, but he was sure he would have remembered by nightfall. 'Bugger off Sirius, I thought you'd be happy for me' he said angrily, trying extremely hard to keep his voice level. It wasn't fair of Sirius to do this. He was supposed to be his best friend, and be just as happy with James's progress as James was.
Sirius stood up, knocking his chair back angrily 'Fuck you Prongs, fuck you. I knew this was going to happen, I knew the moment she talked to you you'd drop everything. Don't you see what she's doing to you? She's messing with you, she doesn't care about you' he accentuated each word angrily, causing stabs of pain in James's stomach. When he was done talking, Sirius was red in the face and breathing heavily. He met James's gaze once more with steely eyes before stalking off, leaving James's by himself, torn between hitting something and crying.
James sat in that chair for 3 hours, completely immobile, waiting for everyone to go upstairs so he could escape to the shrieking shack. He saw Lily pass him on the way to dinner with a frown, but he quickly looked away. He wanted to convince himself that everything Sirius said was wrong, but deep down he knew that there was truth in all of it. But all he wanted was for Sirius to support him like Remus had. But ever since James had confessed his liking to Lily, Sirius had been everything but supportive and frankly, it pissed James off. None of him wanted to go and face Sirius again, but he knew that he was doing it for Remus, and on full moons Remus was the most important thing. So once the last person had gone upstairs, James stood up, his heart still clenched with pain and his mind still replaying Sirius's words, and began his way down the path outside the back of the castle. Sirius and James fought all the time. They fought over who got the last piece of pie at dinner, over messy trunks and leaving food wrappers around. They fought over silly things, they've thrown multiple punches over the years and they did some pretty horrible things, but they always forgave each other and never crossed boundaries. But this time, this time felt different and it terrified James.
'If you don't want to eat with me, the least you could do is tell me' a light voice spoke up from beside James. James whipped his head up and saw that Lily was walking quickly down the path trying to catch up with him. At the sight of her, James felt the usual burst of butterflies in his stomach, but he could feel the twinge of guilt that Sirius had brought upon him. Lily frowned once she reached him 'are you okay James?'
James stopped walking and turned to her. He wasn't going to lead her down to the Forbidden Forest and put her in that danger 'Yeah I'm fine, I'm just going for a walk. I'll talk to you later?'
He could see the confusion in Lily's eyes, but was incredibly relieved when she nodded 'Yeah, okay' and with one last look headed back up towards the castle.
It was hard enough keeping their secret hidden, but even harder to create lies. James hated lying. He hated nothing more than lies. He hated telling lies, and he most definitely hated getting lied to. It was something that caused many fights between the Marauders, because although he put a high placement on honesty, he didn't understand the difference between lying to protect your friends, and lying to be vile. So if Sirius lied about Lily going to Hogsmeade alone, James would blow up.
It was a quick walk to the Whomping Willow, and James stood by the bush they always met at close by to the Willow, waiting for Sirius and Peter to show up. He kept jiggling his left foot, a nervous habit he acquired most likely because of Lily Evans. But he was terribly nervous about seeing Sirius, he just wanted to apologize and forget about their fight. His anger towards his best friend was intense, but always short fumed, making it easy for them to forgive and move on. James was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't hear anyone make their way down the hill until he heard the crunch of a leaf. James whipped his head up at the noise, his guard was always up higher on the full moon, but he relaxed immediately once he saw who it was. 'Pete, don't fucking scare me like that' he breathed, turning to Peter who was standing beside him. He frowned once he saw that Sirius wasn't there.
Peter let out a nervous chuckle 'Sorry Prongs. Is Moony already down there?'
James rolled his eyes at his friends question, he asked it every single time 'I bloody well hope so' he hesitated, should he pretend he didn't notice Sirius wasn't there?
'Sirius is coming, he just ran back up to grab something, said it was important'
James shrugged, as if it made no difference to him 'Let's go ahead then, I can hear Moony already and it sounds like it's going to be a rough one'
Peter's face was solemn, but James could see the hidden excitement before they turned into their animagus. Although Sirius was always the most carefree when it came to the full moon, James knew that Peter found the secretiveness of it exciting. James was much more serious about it all. He knew how serious it could get if they were caught, or if Moony caught sight of a human, but he couldn't say that Sirius's carefree attitude towards the matter didn't make him less nervous, because it did. As it always did.
James felt his fears fade away as his hands turned into paws, nose turned into snout and ears turned into antlers. Sirius would agree that there was an indescribable feeling of balance and peace when in your animal form. Like all human problems no longer seemed like problems. James nodded in the direction of the Whomping Willow and Peter scattered forward to open the path and stop the tree from swinging it's branches. He couldn't refrain himself from checking back every couple seconds to see if Sirius was coming, but each time all he saw was a dark path and nothing else. Peter turned to James, and he could feel Peter's questions but James just motioned towards the door, telling Peter to go ahead without him. Peter hesitated but continued down, leaving James alone outside the door. After a couple moments, he turned back into human form, since when Sirius came it wouldn't exactly be able to talk things out with a stag, and sat down with his back against the tree. Maybe Sirius wouldn't even show up. Maybe Marissa made him an offer, and to get back at James he went with her. But despite James's over active imagination, deep down he knew that his best friend would never, ever not be there to help Remus during a full moon. Although the majority of Hogwarts thought of Sirius as an unemotional, cold, stuck up, carefree, player, James knew otherwise. Sirius came from a long line of messed up people, and he was the only one who didn't turn out the same. He went through family abuse, physical abuse that would make him run away, knocking on James's door at 4 in the morning to spend the rest of the week with him. He knew that Sirius's cold demeanor was one he acquired living as a Black, but he really felt things as, or possibly more deeply that any other person. James knew it was hard for Sirius. He had to act aloof at all times, keeping to himself even when he was hurting, he used girls because it made him feel important and it was the only thing that made him feel like he meant something, but he was also the most loyal person James knew, and would come to anyone's defense if they needed it.
'Don't hurt your head Prongs, you seem to be doing some intense thinking over there' an amused voice floated over to James. He didn't realize he had closed his eyes until he opened them and saw Sirius standing in front of him, a lazy smirk on his face. James went to stand up, but Sirius shook his head and took a seat next to James, stretching his long legs out and leaning his head back. James could see the marauders map in his hands, and wondered why he would bring it out.
'I was waiting for you' he told Sirius quietly, but he made sure to make it sound neutral. He knew from experience that the moment feelings came up, Sirius bolted.
Sirius shrugged easily 'Had to get something'
'The map?' James couldn't help but ask.
Sirius looked at him from the corner of his eye and rolled his eyes 'Yes Prongs, the map'
James waited a moment, he knew that Sirius wanted him to ask but he didn't want to give him the satisfaction. 'Why do you need the map?' Ok he tried, but really, they never brought the map out.
Sirius smirked in a self-satisfying way 'Well, on the way out I saw your girl friend looking mildly peeved in the common room, so naturally I went and sat beside her'
'She's not my-'
"Whatever, so she turns to me and says 'do you need something Black?'
And I ask 'Why so blue flower?'
And she just crosses her arms and mutters moodily 'Potter's up to something and I know you're involved so I'm just going to tell you now that it's stupid and tell him that he's Head Boy and shouldn't be doing stupid things.'
And I said 'Since when did you care about Prongs's well being? Developed feelings for the lad?'And then she got angry and stalked off. BUT! I had the hunch that she was going to come out here and sleuth, so I brought it just incase."
James raised his eyebrows in surprise 'I didn't think you'd care about her well being'
Sirius shrugged again 'I don't, but you do so.'
James smiled slightly; this was their way of apologizing, thank God. 'So bring out the map, let's see where she's at'
Sirius bent his head down to retrieve the map from his pocket, but James caught sight of the small smile on his face, obviously just as relieved as James that they had patched up the rough patch. 'Here' he said, handing the map to James 'but hurry up because Moony-'
Sirius's voice was silenced with the sound of a painful howl that pierced the air in a way that made anyone who could hear it cringe. James turned to Sirius with wide eyes, both of them aware that only Peter was down there and there was only so much a rat could do in this situation. 'Shit' James cursed and scrambled up alongside Sirius.
'What the fuck?' Sirius demanded, 'it's too early'
James shook his head 'I don't know, but it's really not the time' he looked down at the map, scanning the Forest and praying not to find any names. Sirius grabbed his arm and began pulling him towards the entrance when James's blood ran cold. He could no longer move his feet, let alone any other part of his body.
'Prongs? Sirius turned around when James's didn't follow. He frowned at James a moment before snatching the map from James's hands. Meanwhile James's heart was thudding painfully as he conjured a plan. Lily Evans was seconds away from arriving to that exact werewolf, animagus ridden spot in the forest. He heard Sirius curse
'We have to go find her, I'm serious, we can't let her come this far it's too dangerous'
Sirius let out a long breath 'Go, go find her and bring her up to the castle. I've got to go help Wormy, he can't tame Moony by himself.' James immediately shook his head,
'No, it needs to be both of us, you can't do it without me-'
'Shut the fuck up and go save the light of your life Prongs, I'll deal with it'
Sirius said it in such an unwavering tone that James understood there was no room left to disagree. Sirius was going to risk his well being to keep the most important girl in James's life safe. James felt an immense amount of warmth towards his best friend, this was why he had stayed friends with him all these years. He nodded at Sirius as their goodbye, and Sirius returned with an equally solemn one before James turned around and began following the map. From what the map said, and the map was never wrong, Lily was quickly making her way down the path and in no time would be exactly where him and Sirius were standing moments before. Reveling this new information, and the fact that a flesh-biting werewolf was on the prowl, James broke into a run. A few moments into it he was panting, considering the steepness of the hill and the fact that his heart was already pounding erratically inside his chest, but he continued up the winding path, unable to see much in front of him because of the darkness when 'Ow!' a shrill voice exclaimed. James immediately stopped and listened. He looked down at the map, trying his best to make out the writing in the dark, and felt all his muscles loosen once he saw Lily's name.
'Lily?' He kept walking forward, peering into the darkness in hopes of seeing a flash of red. Finally he came to his senses and reached down for his wand, but was faced with the problem of a wand-less pocket. He frowned 'What the-'
'OW' she yelled again, this time louder. James ignored his missing wand problem and continued forwards.
'Lily? It's James, could you maybe shine a light? I can't see shit' Finally he collided with an object, although harder than he wished, he felt a shoulder in his hand and a wrist in the other. He smiled and laughed in relief 'well that was-' Lily finally turned on a light, something either of them should have done a long time ago and the end of the wand was pointed directly into James's eyes. He screamed in pain and surprise, falling backwards and landing on his butt, his eyes still imprinted with golden stars. He heard Lily gasp and run forward, bending down to tend to him and finally pointing the wand away,
'James? James I'm sorry I'm just really confused and I kept running into things and it's dark and oh I'm so sorry! Can you see?'
James blinked rapidly a couple times until he could focus in on Lily's face 'Yep, I'm fine' he stood up and brushed off his pants 'you need to go up to the castle'
Lily raised an eyebrow, no longer flustered 'And why is that?'
'It's not safe out here at the moment' he said nonchalantly, stepping forward and placing a hand on Lily's lower back 'let's go' he began to guide her up the hill but she didn't move. Instead, she whipped around, although this time making sure to keep her lit wand by her side,
'James Potter tell me what's going on right now. Sirius said the same thing to me and had this panicky look on his face like he was late for something, you are up to something and whatever you're doing is wrong' she placed her hands on her hips.
James ran a hand through his hair, why did he think this was going to be easy?' 'Please Lily-' his plead was cut off by the sound of a very aggressive Werewolf. James's eyes widened and he met Lily's terrified gaze
'What was that?' she whispered, the light of her wand going out because she was no longer concentrating on such things. 'James, what was that?' she asked more forcefully when James didn't answer.
He shook his head; there was no time for thinking. He just needed to get her up to the castle and he needed to get down and help Sirius. Grabbing Lily by the hand, he pulled her up the hill, this time continuing to pull her even when she made it difficult. Finally he got her into the castle doors, both of them breathing heavily 'Lily, I need to do something right now and I promise I'll explain if you just please stay in the castle'
Lily frowned slightly, running her eyes around James's face that made his stomach flutter despite the situation. 'Okay' she said finally in a small voice 'okay, but be careful alright?'
He nodded and turned around as he made his way to the door, looking over his shoulder once more at Lily before breaking into a sprint. He felt the cold air nip at his uncovered face as he ran down the hill, eventually switching into his animal form without breaking pace. He stopped right before the entrance, looking behind him to confirm Lily's safety, before running down into the Shrieking Shack, and for one more night, risking his life for a friend.
