The
Darkness of Love
The Exile, the Scoundrel and the Dark Lord
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Chapter
7
Room 47
She could feel nervous hands fumbling with her robes. A shaking hand hurriedly placed itself on her injury and quickly channelled the Force. Saleena soon felt continuing waves of the Force gradually sewing her organs and skin back together. There was also a presence making its way within her; one she had missed for so long. It flowed in her blood and reached her heart. She felt a part of Revan within her as her heart began beating at a normal pace and it made her feel at peace. As the young man finished the healing, leaving only a faint scar, he closed the young woman's robes and approached her face, gently stroking her hair. Saleena slowly opened her eyes and although her vision was a bit blurry, she could perfectly distinguish a pair of worried grey eyes, a mound of messy chestnut brown hair and a small sly smile. Revan…
"Long time no see, huh?" Revan whispered, his smile growing wider as she regained consciousness.
Saleena merely stared at him, unable to comprehend what was going on. Is this some other dream? It's too good to be true…
Revan's smile faded and he suddenly felt awkward. He got to his feet to give her room to stand up. "Uh…I guess you're not too happy to see me…" he began nervously. I'm such an idiot!
Saleena quickly snapped out of her thoughts as she noticed his faltering expression. "Revan, don't be stupid! I'm ecstatic to see you! Surprised though…but very happy!" she said in a too-enthusiastic tone, heaving her body and trying to keep her balance. She gently touched her stomach and was astounded at how he healed it perfectly. "Thank you, Revan." Saleena said softly.
"Don't mention it…you were hurt…it's the least I could do," he said awkwardly, scratching the back of his head.
"You're kidding me, right? Revan! You saved my life! If you hadn't come …I would have died!" she said gratefully. She took tentative steps towards him and gently, yet awkwardly, hugged him.
Revan was surprised by the gesture, but definitely welcomed it as he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her softly to his chest. He had almost forgotten how good it felt to have her in his arms and he did not wish to let her go. They stood there for a moment until she finally spoke. "You can let go now!" she said jokingly, hiding her sudden discomfort. The pleasure of his body against hers was almost unbearably satisfying that she simply needed to pull back.
"Sorry…" he whispered, not meaning it since he enjoyed the warmth of her body pressed against him. He looked into her eyes and slowly released her. He glimpsed at her lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss her in this instant.
Saleena must have guessed his intention as she moved away brusquely. "I…I need to go to the local cantina. Agnus is waiting for me there with his wife. Do you wish to accompany me?" she asked rapidly.
"Uh…okay," he simply said, too busy trying to clear his thoughts and desires.
They began walking through the forest, taking the small trail that Saleena took to arrive here.
"So…I guess we have a lot of catching up to do, huh?" Saleena said with a forced laugh. "How did your training go?" she asked. That's my first question after not seeing him for a year? I'm so stupid!
"Well…" he began, not knowing where to start as his mind was still focused on the kiss that could have happened just minutes ago. "Kavar and Vrook were basically getting on my nerves so I finished my training with Master Kreia, my first mentor."
"That old and strange cryptic one?" she asked.
Revan chuckled. "Yes…her. She was great though. I've learned more with her in three months than Vrook and Kavar put together. Unfortunately, training was not the same without you." he said, realizing how much he missed having his daily conversations with her.
"It couldn't be that bad…wasn't there Malak to keep you company?" she asked, but soon regretted it as she realized Revan never spoke of him.
"Malak…" he repeated with a smile, not wondering how she knew of him. "He's been like a brother to me. He arrived on Dantooine shortly after you left. I sort of felt like an outcast after a while, not speaking to anybody and not getting along with any of the Masters, and he was an outcast too because people thought a guy his age with a bald head was just hilarious. We became close really fast. We understood each other and he had always been there for me. I haven't seen him in a while though! We went our separate ways, but planned to meet on Telos," he said, just realizing Malak was probably waiting for him right this instant.
Although she did not know Malak personally, she felt grateful to him that he was there for Revan when she was so far away. "And what have you been up to since you've been promoted to Jedi Knight?" she asked curiously.
"Boring stuff…" he simply said, unsure if he should go into details.
"Hold on!" she said abruptly. "That wasn't a very satisfying answer. What about Tatooine?" she asked quickly.
"How do you know about Tatooine?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously, yet playfully.
"Master Kavar told me," she whispered innocently. Something tells me his feelings for him have not changed!
"He did, huh?" he said bitterly. "I guess that makes sense seeing as he sent me there in the first place!"
"Really? Strange…I guess he forgot to tell me…" she said, offended by that prospect.
"If you want to know how it went on Tatooine…well…let's just say it went pretty bad!" he said with a frown, clearly recalling a not-so-pleasant time. "It was a suicide mission so it makes sense that he appointed it to me! Kavar sent me alone to deal with the Sandpeople and he forbade me to use any form of violence! It's impossible to negotiate with them! Look!" he exclaimed, pointing at a scar above his left eye. "I got smacked in the head by a fracken gaffi stick for simply saying hello!" Saleena giggled and he looked outraged at her reaction. "You think this is funny do you? I ran away like a little girl out of their camp" he said in a shudder.
"I don't understand why they would act this way…you're such a gentleman!" she said, trying to stifle another giggle. Revan scowled, but soon started laughing as well.
"Fine…it's funny, but trust me! It sounds funnier than it really is, and I've got the scar to prove it!" he said defiantly, pointing above his left eye again. "I just hope I never get to deal with them ever again!"
"So what did you do after that?" she asked seriously.
"Well I definitely didn't feel like reporting to Kavar because I'm sure he would have been too pleased to hear I screwed up! Instead, I taught myself to hide myself by using the Force so no one could sense me. I became more independent without having the Council looking over my shoulder all the time and it's a bonus to worry Kavar who probably thinks I'm buried alive in the sand dunes!" he said with a smirk. "Besides that, I mostly spent my time travelling around and helping people. I went to Onderon, Naboo, Taris…I was on my way to Telos when I heard you were heading for Corellia…so I did a slight detour!"
"How did you know where I was, anyway?" she asked, flattered he changed his plans just to see her.
"Let's just say that Kavar was your source and Master Vash was mine!" he said airily.
"What?" she asked, perplexed. I sure wasn't expecting that…Master Vash?
"It's the strangest thing, really! I crossed paths with her back on Dantooine soon after she dropped you off to Coruscant. I asked how you were and she kept me posted since. She's even the one who invited me to your ceremony."
"Huh?" she asked, thinking she was not hearing well.
"I was at the very back, but I only came to see your turn so I didn't stay long. I wasn't sure to come, but when Master Vash told me Kavar wouldn't be attending, I jumped to the occasion. Still hidden by the Force, I came in and out without anyone noticing I was there!" he said proudly.
"Wow! I didn't know you went through all that trouble for me, but I couldn't feel your presence. I guess you cut yourself from me too…" she said, unable to hide her disappointment.
"That was not my intention…" he began, hating himself as he felt her sadness.
Both of them walked in silence as they stepped out of the forest and could now see the lining of the village close by.
"So…do you have anything planned after all of this is over?" he finally asked, looking hopeful.
"Master Kavar offered me to teach at the Enclave!" she said a little too joyfully, secretly trying to pay Revan back for hurting her.
"Did you accept?" he asked abruptly, unable to hide his jealousy.
"I hesitated at first about working with him, but teaching is what I love to do. I would be a fool to refuse!" she said, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself.
"Why were you hesitating? Were you angry at him for some reason?" he asked hopefully.
"Well…" she began. "He's the person who suggested I leave Dantooine-
"He did?" he asked, interrupting her. "He told you to go to Coruscant? Why?" he asked, confused. Before she could answer, it suddenly dawned on him. That conniving bastard! I should have known!
"Since I excelled in my examinations, he offered me the opportunity to train to Coruscant. It's where every Padawan dreams of going, but I felt a bit resentful later on when I realized I had left my true home. I just have a silly grudge against him…that's all! And I didn't have the chance to tell you I was leaving because it was at the very last minute…they announced it to my room just minutes after we…uh…bid goodnight…" she answered, hating herself for lying and avoiding the true reason of her departure.
"Well…congratulations!" he said coldly, seeing right through her lie. What a coincidence! Kavar offers her to train to another academy the day after I told her about my feelings!
They had finally crossed the village and were now standing in front of the cantina. Saleena could see he did not believe her story, and felt ashamed. She mumbled thanks and entered the building with Revan following close behind.
The cantina was dark and half empty. Saleena easily spotted Angus and Vondra sitting at the very back, and judging from the raucous erupting from their corner, they seemed to be having an argument.
Saleena opened her mouth, but closed it just as fast. "I had a rough day! I cannot deal with old couples fighting…should we call it a day?" she asked tentatively, flashing him an innocent smile.
"I was secretly hoping you would say that!" he exclaimed, exhaling in relief.
"It's getting late though and there are no more shuttles to Dantooine until tomorrow," she said, slightly worried.
"Well, I noticed there were rooms above the cantina. We can sleep there and tomorrow you'll leave for your precious teaching post with Kavar," he said sarcastically.
"Good idea! I can't wait to spend every day by his side!" she declared, satisfied to see his brows furrowing slightly, which meant she had hit a nerve.
Revan opened his mouth to retort, but she had already fled to the bar.
"What will it be?" the bartender asked lazily, holding up two glasses. He was easily in his forties and had long ginger hair tied in a ponytail.
"We could get some juma juice to celebrate our sweet reunion!" Revan proposed sarcastically, having just arrived and speaking before she had the chance to address the bartender. The grey-eyed Jedi quickly decided to drop the attitude as Saleena gave him a cold stare. "Fine…no drinks! Is there a room available?" he asked the man behind the bar.
"Uh…he means two rooms…preferably as far away from each other as possible!" she said rapidly while glancing at Revan in annoyance. What is up with him?
"Sorry, but I only have one room left," the bartender said.
She turned to look at Revan who gave her the most convincing innocent look he could muster. "Fine…but you will sleep on the floor!" she snapped. "We will take it! May we have the keycard?" she asked the bartender.
"Sure! It's room 47!" he informed. "Here is the keycard and enjoy the night!" he said, looking at Revan who reacted slowly with a smile.
"We are not a couple!" she said indignantly, wishing to erase any trace of confusion.
"You are certainly bickering like one," the bartender simply replied before serving another customer.
Saleena bit her lip, annoyed. She wished nothing more than to use the Force and persuade him otherwise, but she knew it would be pointless.
"Come on, honey! Our little love nest awaits us!" Revan said teasingly, snatching the keycard from her hands.
"Don't you dare honey me!" she hissed, far from finding the situation funny. She pulled the item from his grasp and left the bar, fuming.
They walked up the shabby staircase and through the floor-creaking hallway, all the while remaining silent until they arrived at their door. Saleena inserted the keycard into the slit, her hand shaking slightly as she felt Revan's eyes on her. She pushed the door open and both entered the room.
The room was simple and modest, and Saleena had to do a double-take on the bed; having just realized it was made for two. She restrained herself to look at Revan as a mental image of the two of them in it crossed her mind. As he closed the door shut, she walked towards the bed. It was only when she sat down that she realized how exhausted she was. She closed her eyes and began emptying her mind the way she was taught by Master Kavar, yet she was half devoting her concentration sensing Revan walking casually around the room.
Her heart stopped for a moment when she remembered her dream. It was a vision after all! Revan came back! The forest was the same and the thugs were the pursuers! It fits! She finally opened her eyes and was startled to see that Revan was leaning against the door, for what seemed to be a while, and was staring at her with a hint of anger.
"What?" she asked, offended.
"I can't do it anymore! I give up! You win! It turns out…I can't play this little game anymore! Will we honestly pretend that nothing ever happened between us?" he asked impatiently. "Because right now I'm not looking at my childhood friend, I'm looking at the girl who broke my heart by leaving me," he said, his eyes reflecting pain and anger.
She was taken aback by his sudden forwardness. Not knowing what to say, she avoided his persistent gaze and spoke in a soft voice. "Revan…why are you saying this now?"
"You didn't answer me," he said coldly.
"Well, you didn't ask a question!" she said heatedly.
"Okay…" he said impatiently, clasping his hands together. "Let me rephrase this for you then: why did you leave me?" he asked angrily, taking a step closer.
Saleena rummaged through her mind to find an answer that would not worsen his state. "I don't know what to say…except that…I was scared," she finally said in a small voice. She quickly regretted saying it. His brows furrowed and his mouth opened without any sound coming out, clearly outraged by her answer.
"You're kidding me, right?" he snapped, his face turning a deep shade of red. "I risked our friendship and my life as a Jedi by saying I love you! I felt ecstatic to know you felt the same way, but you know what? I think you lied about having feelings for me! Was it to spare me the pain of no reciprocation? Did you feel pity for poor Revan the lovesick? If there was one ounce of truth in what you said that night, you would never have runaway from me the way you did! I felt like the biggest of fools for missing you every single day! I even forced myself to hate you at times! It made me sick to think badly of you because the truth was that I still loved you and wanted to be with you even after that disgusting stunt you pulled! Do you know what makes me even madder? I despise the fact you were having the time of your life on Coruscant while I was stuck in this stinking rut with Kavar who found it quite hard not to smile every time he passed by me in the infirmary! And you did not even bother to write me a single letter to explain things to me! I realize you're just a lying, manipulative, heart-crushing Kinrath!" he spat, quickly taking a big breath.
He waited impatiently for her to replicate; to stand up and yell as loud as he did or to just slap him. Instead, Saleena sat still, her eyes blinking at his harsh and hateful words, and soon, unable to control herself, burst into tears.
"Oh Revan…I'm so sorry," she began, sobbing. "It was stupid and cruel of me to leave you...I didn't want to...I did it because I was scared to love…I didn't understand how it worked! You introduced me to these new feelings that were frightening, yet soothing…I was so confused! I needed to confide in someone and it turned out to be Master Kavar! He listened to me and suggested me to accompany Master Vash and transfer me to Coruscant so we could focus on our training and forget about our feelings. He forbade me to have any contact with you! When I saw you for the last time…oh Revan…the pain was unbearable! It hurt to leave you and when we kissed…it made me cry because I was the only one who knew it would be our last kiss. And you think I was having fun on Coruscant? I cried myself to sleep every single night and I had no friends," she continued, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I understand if you hate me right now and I won't even try to change your idea of me because quite frankly…I don't deserve your love and what I did to you was…unforgivable," she finished, crying harder than before and burying her face in her hands.
Revan stared at her. He hated himself for yelling at her and making her cry. He hesitated for a moment, and then sat noiselessly next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She resisted at first but soon her head slowly rested itself on his shoulder.
"Don't think I hate you because I'm mad…it's impossible to hate you…" he began in a comforting tone, running his fingers through her soft dark hair. "I don't want to sound mean, but some part of me is relieved to know that you suffered as much as I did when we were apart…and of course the other part is hating myself for hurting you right now…" he continued softly, noticing she was sobbing no more.
Saleena looked up at him. Their faces were mere inches away from each other. Revan smiled weakly and gently wiped the tears on her cheeks with the back of his hand. "I love you, Revan," she whispered, locking her green eyes with his grey ones. She moved forward and planted a soft kiss on his lips, but quickly pulled back as she realized he did not return it. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…you obviously do not feel the same way anymore…" she said awkwardly, standing up.
"It's not a question of how I feel because we both know that my feelings for you remain the same as the night we first kiss…" he said, softly pulling her back down on the bed. "Before we decide to continue where we first left off, I need to know if that is what you really want. I will not be able to stand the pain of losing you twice…" he admitted, looking down.
Saleena thought for a moment and realized there was no doubt in her heart about what she wanted. She was given a second chance at love with the man who's always been the one in her eyes, and she was not about to let the opportunity slip away from her grasp. Master Vash warned her to choose between love and the Code, but she had enough faith in herself and Revan to know she could have both without having their relationship end in tragedy.
She slowly lifted his face with her fingers and looked into his eyes. "Our love will remain a secret. No one must know we have reunited…especially not Master Kavar. Everyone must think we have ended all contact, even Master Vash. It would be dangerous to involve her in this. She must believe that I chose my life as a Jedi over you. I will take on the teaching post on Dantooine to avoid any suspicion from Master Kavar. We can manage to meet in secret a few times a month, but I will arrange the meetings. We also cannot be seen in public! Agreed?" she asked, extending her hand.
Revan stared at her hand, unable to hide a smile. "It's pretty risky…" he began, as if thinking out loud.
"What? Is Revan backing out at the first sign of danger?" she asked tauntingly.
Revan chuckled and shook her hand. "You can count me in."
Saleena could not wait a second longer so she kissed him again, but this time, he kissed her back. They wrapped into each other's arms and suddenly found themselves lying on the bed. Lips still locked, Revan slowly undressed her, while she began removing his robes. A moan escaped from her mouth as his hands reached her breasts. They had finally relieved themselves of all clothing, and enjoyed the sensation of their bodies intertwined and the feeling of finally expressing their love for one another after so long.
Author's Note: I hope you did not forget my story! I know it's been a while, but I've been just incredibly busy! I had the draft for many months and I finally decided to give it some time to finally complete it and post it. Hope you like it! Further chapters will come! I promise! Please be patient! Don't forget to post a little review so I know I'm not doing it for no one but me!
