Matt was a really nice guy. He was handsome, smart and not to mention very funny. He was perfect boyfriend material.

Just not for Bonnie.

She tried to like him in that way. She really did.

They went out on a total of three dates. But she just wasn't feeling him like that.

And Matt being the astute guy he was, realized she wasn't into him. And he was disappointed because he really liked her.

So at the end of their third and final date when Bonnie asked if they could be friends, he told her no.

Matt Donovan didn't believe in punishing himself. He knew that he could never be just friends and would always want something more with her.

He leaned down and kissed her cheek like the gentleman his mother raised him to be. "It was a pleasure, Bonnie Bennett. It really was."

Bonnie could see the regret in his eyes when he pulled back even though he had a soft smile on his face.

"I hope you find what you're looking for." He said, kindly.

Bonnie stood still, not entering the apartment and watched him leave, something inside of her telling her to stop him.

A few moments later, Damon unexpectedly opened the front door.

He leaned against the inner frame when he saw that it was her. "So you're back."

Bonnie's mind repeated his words and her pretty green eyes widened in realization.

She was indeed back.

Back to being miserable. Back to wasting her life away while pining over him.

Was this how it was going to be? With no guy ever being able to measure up to Damon and take his place in her heart?

"What?" He asked when he saw the expression on her face.''

Bonnie shook her head, swallowing hard. "N-nothing." She look at him for a moment more, her mind reeling. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight." She said, moving past him.


She didn't get much sleep that night. Her mind wouldn't let her rest.

It wasn't healthy living with Damon.

She just let a really great guy go because she wasn't over him.

But how in the hell was she ever supposed to get over Damon if she was staying right under his roof?

There was no other way around it, she had to move out.

It was the only way she would be able to move on and create some kind of a life for herself.


TWO DAYS LATER...

"Have you thought about having a roommate?"

Lacey was planning on moving in a month. She found a great place in Tribeca that was much cheaper than her current apartment and twice as big.

Lacey took the dry Romaine lettuce out of the salad spinner and placed the leafs into a clean bowl.

"No...why?" She asked, looking up at Bonnie sitting across the island from her dicing up tomatoes.

Bonnie shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought maybe you were tired of living alone and wouldn't mind having a friend move in with you."

Easily picking up on what the eighteen year old was getting at, Lacey chuckled in response. "What? You want to live with me?"

Bonnie put down the knife, giving the model her full attention. "Yeah. I was kind of hoping I could."

She began to rush her words when Lacey looked doubtful. "I promise I'll be no trouble. I'm the perfect roommate." She began to list her great qualities by finger. "I'm clean, I can cook, I have a good job so I can pay rent...that will be great extra income for you."

She suddenly stopped talking. The wind deflating from her sails when she could see in Lacey's face that she was going to say no.

Lacey watched as her slender shoulders slightly slumped.

Letting go of all the bullshit, Bonnie decided to tell her why she needed to move in with her. "Look, living with Damon isn't good for me. I need to move on with my life and I can't do that staying under the same roof as him."

Lacey's heart went out to the younger girl.

Believe it or not, she'd been in love once. And it was with married man. He had two kids and decided that he couldn't keep hurting his family by being with her, so he ended things between them.

Of course that was nothing like Bonnie's situation. But she knew what it was like to love someone and not be able to be with them.

She came from behind the island and stood next to her friend. She tugged lightly on a stand of Bonnie's hair. "Okay, you twisted my arm. Roomie."

Bonnie screamed, jumping up from the stool to hug her. "Oh my god, thank you...thank you, thank you, thank you! She said squeezing Lacey tightly to her.

"You're the absolute best!"


A week went by and Bonnie hadn't told Damon of her plans to move out. To be quite honest, she didn't know how to tell him.

A part of her felt like an ungrateful bitch because he'd done so much for her.

But she had to think about herself.

Being in this situation wasn't healthy for her. Watching Damon be with another woman killed her, yet it didn't motivate her enough to get on with her own life.

She needed to make a clean break and that meant removing herself from the situation.


About a week before she and Lacey were to move into the apartment, Bonnie made Damon dinner for the last time.

She even baked him some homemade brownies.

Her back was turned when he entered the apartment, so she didn't see the smile that spread across his lips when smelt that she'd made dinner.

Now that she was working full time, Bonnie didn't cook as often.

Donaldson gave her more duties when he discover how quickly she picked up on the training, so sometimes she had to work late hours assisting Brett with the attorneys who were prepping for trial.

"What's this I smell...dinner?" He asked, shutting the door.

Bonnie turned around, licking her lips. "Hey." She said, wiping her hands on the apron she wore. She reached over and turned down the radio as he came near, opening up the oven to see what she was making.

"Pizza...you made a pizza?" Damon's voice sounded excited like a little kid's.

"Yeah. I got the dough from Mario's pizzeria, but other than that it's from scratch."

Wow, was all Damon could think as he looked at the delicious smelling homemade pizza baking in the oven.

It was topped with mushrooms and Parmesan cheese.

"Nonna never made this." He commented after a moment, shutting the oven door.

"This is my recipe. I do have my own you know."

Damon looked at her in surprise.

"I know the ingredients seem really random, but you'll like it. It's really good."

"Oh, is that so?" He said, cocking a brow.

She placed her hands on her hips. "Yeah, it is."

Damon circled around Bonnie, looking her up and down. "I guess we'll see about that." He smirked.

It felt normal again between them, like the kiss never happened and interrupted their flow.

It felt good bantering back and forth with Bonnie.

And though he would never admit this to himself, Damon was secretly glad that she stopped seeing Matt.


TWENTY MINUTES LATER...

Licking his fingers clean, Damon reached for his third slice.

"I guess you have to eat the entire thing to know whether you like it or not, huh?" Bonnie said with a tiny smug smile before reaching for her glass of lemonade tea and taking a swallow.

"Very funny." He said, biting into the slice of pizza.

"Just admit that I was right and that it's really good and I'll drop the subject."

He shrugged with a nonchalant face. "Fine...it's good."

She cocked a brow.

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, it's really good, you happy now?"

She laughed.

Bonnie hadn't laughed like that with him in a while. He missed it. He missed them being like this.

She looked at him from across the table. "Now why was that so hard to say, Salvatore? You usually give props when it's deserved."

"Yeah well, I guess I've started taking my cue from you, being all OOC and shit." It was said with a slight edge to his voice.

All evening they had managed to keep the tension between them at bay, but just like that it was back in full force with a vengeance.

Bonnie looked down at the napkin in her hand.

Shit. He didn't mean to ruin their evening. Things were going so good.

But not talking about the kiss was a big mistake, Damon saw that now because ever since it happened Bonnie started pulling away from him.

"We need to talk about what happened and get everything out in the open, so we can move past it." He said, gently.

"Know we don't." She said shaking her head, still avoiding his eyes.

"Bonnie."

"No Damon, alright!" She got up from the table, taking her plate to the sink. "I said that I don't want to talk about it." She said, more calmly.

He sighed. "Look, I know you're embarrassed."

She almost snorted. Embarrassed? Try humiliated. Devastated.

He continued. "I see now that I handled things all wrong." He got up from the table and went to her. "I should have talk to you about it instead of letting it go acting like it didn't happen."

Bonnie turned glaring green eyes on him. "What good is there in talking about it when it's over and done with?!"

For a split second she actually hated him. She really did. Because he was so stupidly oblivious of her feelings for him.

"Because you're pulling away from me Bonnie!" He yelled back.

She closed her mouth, swallowing hard.

He lowered his voice, calming down. "You've been distant with me ever since it happened."

She crossed her arms, looking away because he right.

But it was the only way she could deal with what happened. Even though he did it as gently as possible, Damon rejected her.

He didn't see her in that way and it hurt.

It hurt like hell.

"Bonnie please look at me." He said softly.

When she didn't, he got frustrated, running a hand through his thick hair. "I can't believe all of this is over a stupid fucking kiss, jeez!"

She stiffened in front of him. A stupid kiss? So that was what he thought.

A coldness settled inside of Bonnie and she looked at him. "I've decided to move out." She said, no longer giving a damn about his feelings because apparently he didn't give a damn about hers.

Damon froze.

"What?" He said after a moment.

"I'm moving to Tribeca with Lacey...in a week."

His eyes widened.

"No." He said, shaking his head once he got over the initial shock of her words. "Absolutely not."

"You don't have a say in the matter, Damon. I'm moving out...it's for the best."

"Best for who!" He exploded in frustrated anger because he didn't understand why she was doing all of this. None of this made any sense to him.

Bonnie's cool facade vanished. "For me!" She yelled back. "I can't live here anymore, Damon!"

"Why?!"

"Because... I'm in love with you!"

Oh god, she almost said it!

It had been on the tip of her tongue.

"Because of what Bonnie? Talk to me." He pleaded almost helplessly.

She gulped, but then a calmness took hold of her at the truth of her next words. "Because it's time Damon. I can't live with you forever. You'll be marrying Elena soon... I need to go."

No you don't, he almost said.

But he stopped himself when he realized that she was right. Once he was married it would change everything.

Without uttering another word, he pulled her into his arms, holding her close. He was going to miss her.

Bonnie closed her eyes, allowing him to hold her.

She let herself have this one last moment with him and she relaxed in his arms.

They didn't need any words.

He was letting her go.


FOUR WEEKS LATER...

"You're not scared are you?" Lacey asked as she dropped her traveling bag by the front door.

She was about to leave for the airport, going to Jamaica to shoot her first ever Sports Illustrated spread.

She would be gone for an entire week, and she was worried about Bonnie being here alone.

"Scared of what?" Bonnie asked, waving a dismissive hand. "I'll be fine."

Lacey chuckled, leaning in to give her a quick hug. "I can't believe this is happening, Bonnie."

"I'm so happy for you Lace and I want you to kill it at that photo shoot, you hear me. Kill it!"

Lacey laughed.

Letting Bonnie move in with her was by far the best decision she ever made. They had so much fun together and it was nice having someone to come home and talk to. But what Lacey loved most was this, having someone care about her and have her back. Encouraged her. She never had that before.

"What if I make the cover?" She said with wide eyes, imagining the possibly.

Bonnie mirrored her expression and then both girls screamed, grabbing each other hands excitedly.

Lacey got a hold of herself, calming down. "Okay enough of this. If I keep thinking about it I'll drive myself nuts. I need to get going anyway." She said, reaching for her bag.

"Call me when you land, okay and be safe." Bonnie said, opening the door for her.

"You be safe too, Bon. I'll see you in a week!"

When she was gone, Bonnie closed the door, locking it. She sighed as she faced the now quiet apartment.

They'd moved into the spacious two bedroom apartment three weeks ago. It was so gorgeous. Bonnie loved it on sight. With it's open layout and hardwood floors. It had an industrial look to it with amazing brick walls and exposed beams in the ceiling.

Surprisingly, her and Lacey's different styles and tastes in furniture and home décor didn't clash at all and suited the loft-like apartment very well.

There were a few more things that Bonnie wanted to get, but she had to wait until her next paycheck to purchase those items. Now that she had bills to pay, the eighteen year old had to budget her money.

Since being there, Kol and Anna had been to the loft a few times. Kol was so thirsty for Lacey that it was borderline pathetic. He was so sprung on the girl. But Lacey wasn't interested. She called him a little boy. And when Bonnie pointed out that the two were the same age, she only snorted stating that there was a vast difference between a male of twenty and a female of twenty. A very vast difference.

Bonnie had rolled her eyes.

Damon had only been to the apartment once and that was to help her move in.


The day went by rather slowly. It was a Saturday, so Bonnie didn't have to work.

After having breakfast, she took a shower and got dressed, deciding she didn't want to stay cooped up inside all day.

So grabbing her purse and coat, she left the loft.


Bonnie ended up going to an art museum and stayed for more than three hours looking at all of the paintings. It was so relaxing just walking around and viewing the different pieces of beautiful artwork. It was also inspiring being surrounded by such creativity that it made Bonnie want to take up art.

She used to paint and draw a lot as a kid, but she stopped when she got to high school.

Maybe she could take an art class or something.

Bonnie was excited at the possibility as she left the museum and headed home.


Singing along to Disclosure on the radio, Bonnie made herself dinner dressed in nothing but a tank top and her panties, feeling very at home in her home.

Of course she made sure that the curtains were closed over the windows before deciding to walk about in her underwear.

The rest of the night was spent catching up on her new favorite show, How To Get Away With Murder.


She was woken from her sleep by the sound of her phone going off on the nightstand by the bed.

Shit! She'd been sleeping so good too!

Bonnie reached up and turned on the lamp, snatching up her phone. She sat up when she saw that it was Damon calling. It was way past two o'clock in the morning.

Something must be wrong.

Her heart began to beat fast. She immediately answered his call.

"Damon, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I'm at the door, let me in." He said.

"What? You're here, right now?"

"Yeah, so come let me in."

She frowned, shaking her head in confusion. "But what are you doing here?" She looked up at her clock. "It's almost two thirty in the morning."

He hung up on her.

She pulled the phone from her ear, not believing that asshole just hung up on her "What the..."

But she was cut off by the sound of him loudly banging on her front door.

"Shit!" Bonnie cussed, hurriedly getting out of her warm, cozy bed to let him in before her neighbors called the cops.

She was in such a rush she forgot that she was dressed in only a shirt and panties.

"Thank you." He said all dramatically when she opened the door.

"Are you crazy? Get in here!" She hissed.

He walked inside, well more liked staggered. He was drunk.

"I can't believe you did that!" She said closing the door.

He leaned into her, getting in her face. "Well when I asked you nicely, you wouldn't let me in."

She was assaulted by the smell of alcohol. Bourbon to be exact. She scrunched up her nose, taking a step back. "Oh my god, you're drunk." She said in a shocked and somewhat accusing manner.

Because Damon Salvatore never got drunk. He was too much of a control freak to ever let go and get plastered.

"What gave me away?" He asked, closing the space between them, almost but not quite backing her against the wall.

She pushed him back. He stumbled a little. "The fact that you reek of Bourbon!"

"And how do you know what Bourbon smells like?"

"Because I've tried it!"

He's pretty blue eyes widened in disbelief and then he swore under his breath, shaking his head. "That gotdamn Lacey!"

This time, Bonnie's eyes widened at the pure venom in his voice.

"I can't stand that bitch! You've got no business living with someone like her!"

Anger rose up inside of Bonnie. "How dare you call her that! And for your information I didn't even know Lacey when I tried Bourbon...it was back in Mystic Falls, you asshole!"

His jaw dropped. "Asshole? Did you just call me a fucking asshole?"

"I sure did!" She yelled.

He shook his head disappointingly. "You've only been living with her for three weeks and already she's changing you." He moved near enough to gently caress her face. "Where's my sweet little Bonnie, huh...where did she go?"

She briefly closed her eyes. It wasn't fair that he was able to create such havoc inside of her with just a mere touch of his hand.

She shook her head, pulling back. She looked up at him pleadingly. "Why are you here, Damon?"

"Isn't it obvious...I miss my Baby. It's not the same with you gone. It doesn't feel like home anymore."

Bonnie eyes began to water.

He reached out and touched her cheek once again, stroking it lovingly. "I miss you so much Bonnie. I didn't know how bad it was going to be until you were gone." His Adam's apple bobbed up and down. "I miss talking with you and hearing you laugh. I even miss your fucking scent...it doesn't smell like warm vanilla around the apartment anymore." He said, searching her eyes.

Bonnie was so confused by his words and the way he was looking at her. The last time he looked at her like this she made a fool of herself by kissing him.

She would never make that mistake again.

She pushed his hand away, swallowing hard. "It's late Damon. You need to go."

"Where?" He asked, lifting his hands like he didn't have no place to go.

"Home!" She crossed her arms. "...or to Elena's."

He dropped his arms. "Yeah... Elena." He said, like he just now remembered that he had a fiancee.

Damon ran a quick hand through his messy hair. It was starting to curl up at the ends.

He cleared his throat. "So do you like living here?"

"Yeah, I do." She replied, use to Damon switching back and forth between topics.

He saw the truth in her eyes.

"Do you miss me even a little bit?"

I miss you so much that it hurts.

She nodded her head, a tear falling down her cheek. "Yeah... a little bit."

He snorted, but the corner of his mouth tilted up in a half smile. "You're such a bad lair, you know that?"

"I know. But that's a good thing, right?" She said wiping the tear away, sniffing lightly.

"Yeah it is" He said, chucking her underneath the chin. "...come here." He said, pulling her into a hug. "I just want you to know that I'm really proud of you. You're doing so good, Baby."

Bonnie wanted to cry, but she kept it in.

He let her go. She bit down on her bottom lip, but that didn't stop the tears from shining brightly in her eyes.

"I guess I better get going."

She nodded.

His eyes traveled down the length of her body and he smirked. "I bet when you jumped out of bed to let me in, you totally forgot that you were sleeping in your underwear, didn't you?"

Bonnie gasped, her eyes widening as she looked down at herself.

Shit!

Damon chuckled. "Don't worry, it's nothing I haven't seen before."

Bonnie cocked a questioning brow.

He explained. "You used to walk around the house in your underwear all the time when you were two years old."

She snorted. "Well, I'm not two anymore and a lot of things have definitely changed since then."

Damon wiggled his brows. "I noticed."

"Ew Damon, gross...that was so pervy!" She laughed, lightly hitting his arm.

"But it got you to laugh." He said, softly.

"Yeah, it did." She said after a moment.

"I have to take a piss." He said, suddenly.

Bonnie bust out laughing, shaking her head. "Go. You know where the bathroom is."

"Thanks, I'll be just a minute."

Bonnie watched him go. She glanced down at her underwear clad body once again, not believing she was talking to Damon this whole time with no pants on.

She didn't even feel a draft once. This loft had great insulation.

A few minutes went by and she wondered what was taking so long. And then it hit her.

Oh god, he was in there blowing up her bathroom doing number two. Shit!

Literally.

That was one thing she definitely wasn't going to miss living with Damon.

Bonnie went into the kitchen in search of some matches.


After having pissed and deciding to brush his teeth and gargle (using Bonnie's toothbrush and mouthwash) just in case he got stopped by the cops, Damon came out of the bathroom.

But then he got sidetracked when he passed by her room, a picture on her dresser catching his eye.

He went inside and picked it up, sitting down hard on her bed when he saw that it was a picture of her and Connor dancing at what looked to be a school dance.

He'd never seen this picture before.

Damon got more comfortable as he stared at the photo, slipping off his shoes and turning to lay facing up on the warm bed. He grabbed the pillow beside his head and placed it on top of the one under him as he studied the picture in his hand.

Then he realized what was bugging him so much. Connor's head was bald. Which meant that this picture was taken a few weeks before his death because that's when he shaved off all of his hair.

Damon closed his eyes, trying to think.

His head sank heavily into the soft pillow as the warm scent of vanilla surrounded him.

And the memory finally came to him just as he was falling asleep.

Connor flew all the way back home just to take Bonnie to the Father/Daughter dance at school when their dad couldn't go because he had to fly unexpectedly to Tokyo on business.

Connor told him that both his mother and Bonnie had cried when he showed up at the house the night of the dance dressed in a tux and carrying a corsage.

Yeah, Damon remembered now.


Twenty minutes later, Bonnie found Damon past out in her bed.

She sighed, reaching out and gently taking the picture frame from his hand, placing it on the nightstand by the bed.

Her eyes then went back to the sleeping man. He looked so unbelievably gorgeous lying there. She couldn't resist touching his hair. She missed his curly hair.

Damon turned into her touch and Bonnie froze for a second, but he didn't wake.

Maybe it was for the best him sleeping there tonight. He'd been drinking. It wasn't safe for him to get back on the road. Thank goodness he made it to her place safe and sound.

"You stupid man, you could've gotten yourself killed." She said, stroking his soft hair once more. "I could have lost you forever." She said quietly, her voice catching. Just thinking about it made her heart squeeze painfully inside of her chest.

She leaned down and kissed his cheek, her mouth dangerously close to his.

Bonnie's heart quickened at the thought that crossed her mind. If she wanted to, she could kiss him right now and he'd never know.

He was past out drunk in her bed.

She'd never get this opportunity again, Bonnie told herself.

Just one more time she wanted to know what it felt like to kiss him, to have his mouth pressed against hers.

No one would ever know.

It would be her little secret that she could carry with her forever.

So she slightly moved her head to the right and kissed Damon on his mouth.

Softly at first. Almost a shy peck, but when he didn't stir she did it again, but this time letting her lips linger on his, kissing him gently.

His lips were so tender underneath hers and sweet.

And just when she was about to pull away, he began to kiss her back, placing his hand at the back on her head, holding her still.

Bonnie gasped into his mouth, her eyes shooting up.

She saw that his were still close, but all thoughts deserted her at the feel of his kiss.

Oh god, it was amazing. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to feel the glorious sensations he was creating inside of body.

Never in her life had she been kissed so thoroughly.

She moaned.

Moments later, Bonnie felt herself being pulled onto the bed, laying flat on her back. Damon rolled on top of her, nestled between her legs.

Images of Mason flashed through her mind and she began to panic.

But then she got a hold of herself because this was Damon. She loved him. And there was nothing ugly about this.

He groaned as he began to grind into her. Bonnie gasped as pleasure shot through her core.

He removed his shirt as well as hers and they were now skin to skin.

It wasn't long after that when his hand found its way inside of her panties and he touched her wet folds.

Bonnie thought she'd lose her mind, being touched like this for the very first time and by the man she loved.

She arched her back, panting when he began to rub her clit.

It was the most amazing feeling.

She clutched the back of his hair, wanting more. Needing more.

She was so lost in her pleasure that she didn't feel it when Damon unzipped his pants with his free hand and pulled out his harden member.

But she certainly felt it when he moved her panties to the side and entered her.

Bonnie cried out, digging her nails into his back.

Damon began to rock back and forth into her, going just a little bit deeper with each forward motion.

She squeezed her eyes shut, her body trembling from his invasion.

When he was finally seated fully inside of her, Bonnie couldn't move. She felt impaled.

He didn't give her body a chance to get used to his and continued to move inside of her.

Bonnie held on to him tightly, clutching his shoulders, her body along with the bed moving upward with each thrust of his hips.

All the while, Damon's face was buried in the crook of her neck.

And when he finally came, his body sunk heavily on top of hers and he began to snore.

He was sound asleep.

Still embedded deeply inside of her.