A/N: Here's a slight change in the usual style.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own the Avengers.


Some nights, Natasha wasn't avoiding sleep. During the day, they all had stuff to do. Bruce would spend all day down in the labs and she rarely got to see them. She saw everyone but him during the day; they had the least contact. Bruce didn't go through much training. There was talk of putting him into the tactics, but they hadn't actually done it yet. For now, he stayed in the labs and Natasha was everywhere but there. Some nights, Natasha was awake just because she wanted to see Bruce. Tonight was one of those nights.

Natasha climbed out of bed and pulled on her hoodie. On nights like these, she felt uncomfortable. She wanted to talk to Bruce, but she didn't have a need to. She just wanted to be near him and that made her uncomfortable. Sure, she had wanted to talk to people before, obviously. Several nights of her life had been spent talking to Clint all night, but those nights were different. She couldn't put her thumb on it.

She walked out of her room and down the hall of bedrooms. Out on the couch was Clint and he nodded to her without looking away from the screen.

"Hey, Nat, wanna play a round or two?" he offered.

"No thanks. Have you seen Bruce around?" she asked, peeking into the kitchen to find Steve with his sketch book. Natasha smiled a bit; she loved when Steve spent his nights like this. It was second best to Steve sleeping well.

"No," Steve responded, not looking up. When she turned back to the living room, she saw Clint had paused the game and was looking at her.

"Why?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"I wanted to talk to him." She kept her voice even, not liking Clint's attention.

"Haven't you noticed, Clint?" Steve asked from the kitchen. He stood up and walked to the doorway between the rooms and leaned against the wall.

"Noticed what?" Clint asked.

"Natasha has been standing up our company for his," Steve teased, smiling.

"Aww, have you missed me kicking your ass?" she asked with a smirk. Steve chuckled.

"I'm glad you guys get along," Clint chimed in and Natasha looked at him.

"Yeah, he's a good friend," she murmured with a smile. She caught the glance Steve and Clint shared. "Watch it you—" She stopped midsentence when she saw Bruce enter the living room. His forehead gleamed with sweat and distress was obvious in his eyes. He hurried to the elevator, only looking up to make eye contact with Natasha before he pressed the button calling the elevator. It was obvious he had just woken up from a nightmare. The other two men looked anywhere but at him.

Natasha had caught his brief moment of eye contact and saw just how helpless he felt after this particular dream. Without really thinking about it, she rushed into the elevator with him and waved to the other two right as the doors closed.

"Sorry to interrupt," he murmured, staring down at the ground.

Natasha lightly touched his hand. "Don't worry. Nightmare?"

"Yeah…" They stayed silent, letting Bruce regain his composure as they reached the ground level. They walked out together, Natasha purposely brushing his arm occasionally. She could tell it helped calm him down.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked once they got outside. Instead of sitting on their bench, she led him out into the grass field they had. Toward the middle of it, she sat down and he did the same.

Bruce sighed and laid on his back. Staring up at the stars, he spoke, "It gets hard sometimes, always trying to keep control of my emotions."

Natasha nodded and laid down next to him. The fall air left the grass slightly damn and cold. She stared up, giving him the space to let any emotions play across his face that he wanted.

"It's just so…hard. I feel so much less alive than I did before the incident happened, before the Hulk came along. I'm afraid to show any emotion, whether it be crying or laughing. What's the point to life if I can't express what I feel?" His voice was strained and she knew he was fighting for control as they spoke.

It was strange because Natasha understood what he meant. For her, she had been trained to hide emotions while he needed control over them to protect everyone around him. She had it easier.

"It begins to feel empty," she whispered and he quickly turned to look at her. She met his gaze and realized he had just come to the same conclusion she had: they were both in the same boat.

"It does," Bruce agreed. He completely turned to lie on his side and face her like they had the night at the track. She did the same. "I hate it. I hate having to live with everything pushed down, but I have to. If I don't, I can hurt everyone around me. I'll continue doing it for everyone's sake, but I hate it so much."

"You don't always have to." She made her voice as soft as it had been when she spoke the lullaby. He was already shaking his head. "Bruce," she reached out and touched his hand and he stopped shaking his head, "you can let some of the emotions out. Doing what you're doing, what we do, it makes you a ticking time bomb. Let some of it out. The Hulk comes out with anger, right?"

He shrugged and nodded, but didn't speak. She was surprised he was letting her go on about all this.

"Then shouldn't it be fine if you let yourself laugh and cry? Just let bits of control go at a time and you'll find the perfect balance. You can't stay at 100% control all the time and be alright." She was so concerned for him.

"I'm so afraid it'll go wrong," he whispered, looking right into her eyes. He was so…vulnerable.

"It'll be fine, but if anything goes wrong, we'll have a chance to try the lullaby, right?" Natasha offered him a comforting smile. "We can work on this together, one step at a time. Just let a bit of control go next time you feel a surge of emotion. Maybe laugh harder at Tony's injuries or cry a bit after a nightmare or those romance movies Steve watches way too much."

"You've been doing a good job, you know," Bruce told her quietly and returned her smile. "I've seen it recently. You are letting yourself feel more human too."

"It's so…nice, yet terrifying. I've never been allowed to just feel what I wanted to feel. I always have to keep it in control; that's how I was trained. Feeling all this is so nerve racking." Natasha wanted to lie back on her back and stare at the stars, but she couldn't manage to look away from his eyes. It was honestly so comforting.

"I used to be able to feel whatever I wanted, before all this happened. It makes you feel free. I hope you get to experience it." Bruce's voice was so sincere that Natasha's eyes stung a bit. She still wasn't use to having people care for her, even after years of being Clint's friend. It was going to take a life time to adjust to.

"Imagine if we both got to feel however we wanted, whenever we wanted," she murmured. She let a lazy smile slid onto her lips. "Let's start over. What would you want to be doing if the Hulk had never happened?"

"What I was doing before," he replied simply. "I would want to go back to doing research, but maybe not experimenting with such dangerous things."

"That's a good idea," she said with a chuckle. "I'd…I think I'd like to work with children, maybe." She loved being around Clint's two kids. "Maybe I'd be a teacher or something." Natasha shrugged and Bruce laughed.

"I bet kids just love you." He smiled at her.

"They do," she said honestly and Bruce looked at her, puzzled. She didn't give him the chance to ask when she had time to spend with children. "I'd live in California and spend my weekends on the beach."

"I could visit and we could see the red wood trees," he planned. This habit of them imagining things really did make the present easier to cope with.

"It'd be nice," she murmured.

"It would be," Bruce agreed. He found her hand and squeezed it again. "Thank you for coming out here with me, Natasha." For some reason, it relaxed her to feel his hand and hear her name leave his mouth.

"You're welcome, Bruce."


A/N: I really wanted to give Bruce some time to share, but writing his parts are harder. I have the more complicated details of his Hulking out stuff saved for later. Thanks for reading! Please review! All of your comments mean a lot to me :)