A/N: Thank you so much for your patience. Life's just been one thing after another. I'm tranferring to a different school so I've been very busy trying to get registerred last minute. Your reviews have been really keeping me going they have even encouraged me to start thinking of ideas for my next story. :) I feel like the ending of this chapter might have been a little rushed so just give me some feedback so that I'll know how to improve in the future.
Warnings: Vague descriptions of violence, and the only law knowledge I have is one college class in Criminal Law and what I've seen on Law & Order.
CHAPTER SEVEN: Speechless
Spencer pulled at the tie that felt too tight around his neck as he sat down on the witness stand. It had been a little over two weeks since he had said good bye to his mother. He knew he could call her and write her letters but that did not help him right now. At this moment he had never felt more alone. The fourteen year old could feel everyone watching him; it was like they were waiting for him to break down right there in front of them.
Spencer swallowed hard and pulled at the tie again. He felt a little more confident when he looked out into the crowd and saw his Aaron give him an encouraging nod. Maybe he could do this; he just needed to remember what Aaron had told him: stay calm and answer all the questions clearly and honestly.
"Spencer, can you tell us what happened the night your foster family was murdered?" Mr. Howard asked gently.
The teenager took a deep breath and glanced over at the jury. He was tempted to look over at the defendants but Aaron, Mr. Howard, and Gideon all told him to pretend like the two men were not even there. He figured they did not want him to feel intimidated into not speaking.
Spencer's mouth felt dry, like he had had nothing to drink for days. Closing his eyes, he tried to think about staying calm. "It was around nine in the evening." He started hoarsely. Spencer cleared his throat and tried again. "It was around nine. Mrs. Landon was in her sewing room mending Aaron's jeans; he had ripped them while playing football with his friends. Mr. Landon was sitting in his recliner looking at the bills. Aaron and I were watching TV because I had already finished my homework and Aaron always waits- waited until last minute." As Spencer spoke he was reliving every moment, thanks to his eidetic memory. Keeping his eyes closed was helping; he knew that if he opened them and saw all the people watching him he would not be able to continue. "The- the doorbell rang and Mr. Landon went to answer it. A minute later we could hear yelling so Aaron went to see what was going on. I was about to follow him but he came running back into the room and he shoved me into the closet. He told me…" Spencer trailed off. These memories were so private, so painful. Now he understood why people say making a victim give testimony in court was like revictimizing them.
"Go on, Spencer, it's okay." Mr. Howard prodded
"He told me to stay there and be quiet. I hid in the back of the closet but I could hear everything that was going on. There was some yelling and I heard stuff breaking. When I finally looked out I could see Mr. Landon and Aaron. They were both tied up but only Aaron was gagged. I-I couldn't see Mrs. Landon, but I could…" Spencer paused to take a deep breath but continued none the less. "I could hear her crying. There were two men and they were asking Mr. Landon where his brother was because he owed their boss money. Mr. Landon kept telling them he didn't know but they didn't believe him. The- the bigger one of the two men; he… he walked away to where I couldn't see him but then I could hear Mrs. Landon crying louder and Mr. Landon started yelling at him to stop." Spencer stopped talking. He did not know if he could keep going. All the memories were just so horrible; he wished that they would just let him forget it all. He may not have been able to see what had been happening to Mrs. Landon but he could guess. "Mr. Landon kept telling them that he didn't know where his brother was throughout the whole thing. The two men; they started hurting Aaron. When Aaron passed out they went on to hurting Mr. Landon. I guess they figured out eventually that Mr. Landon was telling the truth because they pulled out a gun and… They killed them. They killed my family. Then the two men walked out of there like nothing had happened." Spencer finally felt the tears coming and he opened his eyes. Since that night he had never really taken the time to truly think about what had happened. He was too scared to, but at that moment talking everything through; for the first time he felt angry. "THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT WHERE THEY WERE GOING TO GET DINNER!" he screamed. "They acted like my family weren't even people!"
The judge started pounding her gavel. "Calm down, Mr. Reid." She ordered sternly.
"I'm sorry." Spencer apologized quietly.
Mr. Howard cleared his throat before asking the next question. "Do you see the two men in this court room?"
"Yes."
"Can you point to them?"
Spencer shakily pointed at the defendants and then slowly lowered his hand.
Mr. Howard nodded. "Let the record show that the witness indicated the two defendants. No further questions."
As Mr. Howard sat down the defense attorney got to his feet. The way the well-dressed man was smiling reminded Spencer of a shark. The man's blindingly white teeth were bared and his eyes were twinkling like he knew something they didn't. "Spencer, isn't it true that your mother is a paranoid schizophrenic?"
Mr. Howard was suddenly on his feet. "Objection!"
"Goes to the credibility of the witness." The defense attorney said smoothly.
The judge sighed. "I'll allow it." She said warily. "Answer the question, Spencer."
Spencer looked over at his new Aaron and then back at the attorney. "Yes, sir."
The attorney's smile got even bigger if that was possible. "And isn't schizophrenia genetic?"
"Yes, but-"
The attorney cut him off. "So is it possible that you're perception of that evening may be skewed?"
Spencer shook his head. "No!" he said, voice obviously panicked. "I know what I saw! I have an eidetic memory. I can never forget anything."
"Well, do you remember what you had for breakfast last week?"
Spencer thought for a second, the pressure of the moment was making it hard to remember anything. Tension was building in his muscles causing his hands to shaking. He opened and closed his mouth several times obviously speechless.
"No? Maybe your mind isn't as keen as you would like us to think. How can we depend on this boy's testimony when his family has a history of mental illness?"
Mr. Howard got to his feet once more. "Your honor!"
The judge addressed the attorney in a stern voice. "Counselor, unless you have any more questions cut the witness loose."
The attorney still had on his shark-like grin. "Nothing further."
Hotch sat with Spencer in a restaurant down the street from the courthouse. The teenager had not said a word since being on the witness stand and half-way through lunch the FBI agent had given up on trying to start a conversation.
"Am I crazy?" Spencer suddenly asked.
Hotch frowned in concern. "Of course not. That attorney was just trying to find reason, no matter how absurd, for the jury not to believe you. What he said means nothing. You are not crazy, Spencer."
"Sometimes I feel like I am." Spencer said quietly. "Sometimes I think that maybe because all these bad things keep happening to me that- that maybe I deserve it, but I know that that line of thinking is irrational." The boy shook his head and started pushing the food around on his plate.
Hotch briefly wondered just how much misfortune this boy had suffered. He had heard stories about abuse in foster care and had talked to victims of such abuse yet it had never felt so personal. With witnessing a brutal murder on top of all that, he was surprised that Spencer wasn't exhibiting more signs of post-traumatic stress. "No one deserves what you've gone through." Hotch told the young teenager carefully. "You are a very strong person who has gone through a lot, but it's over now. I won't let anyone else hurt you."
Spencer gave the FBI agent a wry smile. "How are you going to do that? After this is over I'm going to stay with a new family. I'll probably never see you again." Spencer said the last part with a sad tone in his voice.
"No, you're not. You're going to stay with me and my family. I am going to adopt you." As soon as Hotch told Spencer this he immediately regretted it. He didn't regret the choice; the problem was that he had not had the chance to discuss it with Haley again since the phone conversation in Nevada. With preparing for the trial and trying to keep Spencer calm he just never had the time. Now Spencer was grinning at him like it was Christmas and he had just unwrapped the toy of his dreams (or in Spencer's case book of his dreams) and Hotch knew that he had to talk this over with his wife that night.
That night Spencer sat at the top of the stairs just out of sight, with silent tears rolling down his cheeks. All in one day his emotions had been raised to its heights and brought down to the lowest he's ever felt. Right at that moment he could hear Haley quietly arguing with Hotch about adopting him.
"Aaron, you're not listening." Haley said with a sigh. "You don't get it. You will always be at the office or on a case. I will be the one taking care of Spencer and I don't know if I can handle taking care of Jack's needs and Spencer's. He's so damaged and needs so much attention."
Spencer could hear his Aaron speak next. "I know, but won't it be worth it? Spencer needs us."
Haley started speaking again, her voice getting slightly louder. "What he needs is a professional. Someone who will know how to handle him."
"He needs people he trusts." Hotch said pointedly.
"That's what I'm saying, Aaron! As much as you care about Spencer you care about your job more. Once you go back to work Spencer won't have you anymore. It will be me trying to keep him together."
Spencer listened for his Aaron's reply but all he heard was a quiet sigh. The lack of a reply was enough of an answer for him. He figured that his stay at the Hotchner household would end but it was nice to imagine, even for a moment, that it was going to be permanent.
"Let's just go to bed." Haley continued, sounding exhausted.
Haley wearily climbed the stairs to head to bed. She felt bad for Spencer, but just the idea of taking in the emotionally troubled adolescence permanently was overwhelming. How was she supposed to take care of him along with her home and Jack? It was too much. There had to be a better home for him with someone who would understand what he had gone through.
As she walked down the hall she noticed that Spencer's bedroom light was still on. She reluctantly knocked on the door and pushed it open. "Spencer?" she said quietly.
She saw that Spencer was carefully folding his clothes and placing them in his suitcase. He stopped when he heard his name and turned to face her. Haley frowned in confusion. "Spencer, what are you doing?"
The teenager did not answer. He only gestured to his suitcase in reply.
"But why?" Haley asked as she went to sit on the bed.
Spencer sat down next to her, his whole body tense and hands clasped together in his lap. "Y- you don't want me here anymore." He stated matter of factly. "And I understand. I heard you talking with my- with Agent Hotchner. It's okay. I'll call Agent Potter in the morning. I'll be out of your hair."
Haley could hear it in his voice. He was trying to be brave but she could hear the disappointment, the sadness. It was there. How could she ignore her motherly instinct to make that disappointment and sadness go away? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. He was a teenager; he could take care of himself as far as his physical needs, eating, hygiene, dressing himself. All he really needed was a family and maybe they did have room for one more. It would take some time but maybe they could make it work.
Haley reached over and gently grabbed one of Spencer's hands. She felt him jump slightly but he turned his head so he could meet her eyes. "No, you are not going anywhere."
