Leaves constantly striking my body, the air cooling the sweat as it pills at my hairline and runs down my neck, I press on at my current pace. Running through the forests on Dagobah is like running in the mushy sand during the onset of a rainstorm in the heat of the summer on Naboo. Hot and a little fatigued, my heart is racing but quieter than it was only a few weeks ago.
With only two more klicks to go, I leap over a troublesome root and slide down a dank ditch. Exercise has never been lacking in my life, as I love being physically active, but the extent to which Master Yoda has me training has definitely opened my eyes to how weak I truly was. When we first started these morning runs, I could barely make it around the three klick radius of his home without having to walk at least a few times. Now, here I was running over seven klicks daily, making a loop around to several parts of the forest which I had never seen before.
Over the past few weeks, I have been learning to conceal my thoughts, levitate objects, control minds of smaller life forms, but most of all how to keep my stamina up and my body in shape for whatever is to come. The body that I felt somewhat ashamed of back on Naboo, once again brings me pride and self-confidence. It is well-known that females of most species tend to care about their appearances and I certainly am no different. Feeling more like myself allows me to be more brazen with my wardrobe and explore possibilities for what is better worn in combat. Clearly wearing a formal gown, as I once had, would not do in a fight. This is why I had chosen many times to disguise myself as a handmaid who would have more freedom to wear other clothing.
Today I found myself in a shorter tan tunic dress with high slits along the hip bones. It has a deep plunging neckline with added brown material that crisscrosses along my mid-section and hangs from a tied knot just off my left hip. Added accessories included my knee-high brown boots and tan fingerless gloves.
When I first put it on, I tried to imagine Anakin's expression had he been here to see all of my skin showing. Romantically-modest and sometimes over-the-top has always been my style and this pushed the boundaries I would normally adhere to. Between dying and all of this training though, I decided to throw modesty to the wampas and wear whatever I want.
Grabbing onto a tree limb with both hands and swinging myself over a spot of quicksand, I land on the other side and race five more meters to where Master Yoda sat meditating atop a large boulder.
Holding onto a nearby tree with one hand as I stretch out my calf muscles, I catch my breath and turn to join my small green master. First straddling the boulder next to him and then folding my legs up into a crossed fashion, I find my center and close my eyes.
All around us the world seems to move at a faster pace than we. Small land creatures scurry about in the plants and winged ones fly from tree to tree above. All around us permeates life and force-strength, which was the main reason Master Yoda had chosen this planet on which to live out the rest of his days in exile. Being that no one else in the Jedi Order, save Anakin, had ever registered as strong of a force-print as Yoda, it made sense that he would need a planet such as this to help to conceal his presence.
Expanding my mind, I search the galaxy for Obi-Wan who has been gone just under a month and a half now and hopefully has secured the alliances we need to get started in moving forward with our plans of rebellion. I can't see much - only glimpses of him bouncing around from planet to planet and if I am lucky the face of an old friend. Overall, nothing I see triggers any negative feelings, so, for now, it must be working out in our favor.
I then mind-travel to both of my children individually, though I'm still unaware of exactly where in the galaxy they each are located. Our force-link only has gotten stronger and now I am able to see them almost at will. Only with Yoda's guidance and cautioning, have I learned how and why I was able to project my physical image to either child and as of late. I try not to in fear that others might see me and become frightened at my visible state. For no reason do we want either family scared to the point of calling for unnecessary help.
Both my son and daughter are growing beautifully and though I yearn more than anything to hold them in my actual hands, just being able to see them and watch them as they grow - knowing that they are safe - is enough for now.
Lastly, I allow my mind to wander around to the star fleet Obi-Wan and I had encountered on our way here.
Padme... Anakin warns
Forever skulking through my thoughts, I can't help but continually check in to see if I can get a better grasp of who or what it was that I felt that day. No matter how much I hone in, I picture nothing but the outside of the ship. Only over the past five days have I been able to make out a shadow in my mind. A tall black silhouette walks toward me. It stops and then all fades.
Was it the same person I felt in Leia's room that night in my dream? Why can't I stop thinking about this? Why am I so interested?
You are becoming very strong with the force, but don't underestimate the powers of the dark side. Probing their ships can only bring their attention to you, and I'm not sure that's what you want.
Now more frequent, Anakin's voice continues to haunt me. Even Master Yoda had expected for the unexplainable phenomena to dissipate as I trained and became more at one with the force. We have all been proven otherwise. The strangest part about it has been that Yoda himself couldn't sense where it was coming from or how it was happening. Relinquishing the task of figuring it out, we both decided that as long as his voice continues to be helpful and doesn't start whispering negative ideas into my head, we'd both be content with allowing it to continue.
That's enough meditation for the day. Maybe you should get back to training.
Obeying Ani's words, I open my eyes and find Master Yoda staring at me. Though I want to say he can be quite the adorable companion, he has a way of affirming his sporadic creepiness. This is one of those times.
"Deep in thought, you were." His fractured voice states. "Hard, you have been working lately. Something new, we shall do today."
"Something new?" I ask excitedly. It's been a while since he's taught me something different. Levitation and mind-control are cool, but I have been a little disappointed at not learning more since Obi-Wan left.
"Yes," Master Yoda continues. "Defensive techniques shall our focus be today. Learn to use a lightsaber you must."
I lean back. "A lightsaber? You're going to give me a lightsaber?" I hope he's not joking. My excitement grows.
"A Jedi's life, a lightsaber can save. An honor it is to have one and with honor, it should be treated. Have one for you, I do."
Hopping down from the boulder, I go first to help Master Yoda off of his own. Once holding his walking stick, he heads for his hut. I follow in quiet anticipation.
"Here, you must wait." He says heading in as he leaves me behind. Waiting outside, I look around the hut to see if anything is amiss and then return to find him reemerging. He carries something wrapped in rags.
Handing me the wrapped item, Master Yoda steps back. I look down at the hidden object and move to peel back the cloth layers.
In my hands, once again I hold the lightsaber in which I've held many times. A little lighter than I remember it, I gaze at the hilt of the saber that my husband built in honor of his Jedi commencement. He had given it to me once to hold as leverage to prove his love for me - a silly jest I thought at the time. Now, thinking back on it, I wish I would have taken him at his word and dropped everything for a two-week retreat with him as he was supposed to be on meditative leave. Why is it that we both took our duty to the Republic so seriously - always working for the interests of others, never giving time to ourselves?
"Save it for Luke, Obi-Wan wanted, but receive it instead you shall," Yoda explains.
Take good care of it, my love. A boy deserves his father's lightsaber.
I nod. "Thank you, Master Yoda. This means a lot to me."
Admiring the weapon in my hands, I turn it so that my right thumb lies on the activation plate. Taking a step back, I ignite the saber. A blue laser blade bursts forth and hums as it stands aglow. Back and forth, I move the blade, listening to it hum as it moves. I've always been fascinated by these ancient weapons of the Jedi knights but never did I think I'd get a chance to use one. I have always relied on a blaster and am a pretty good shot if I do say so myself.
Think of it as more than just a weapon but as an extension of your arm. Hold it confidently and with authority but also caution and respect.
Yoda pulled out a silver ball from within his robe pocket. "Against a remote, you will practice."
I watched as he activated the sphere that moved through the air as if of its own free will. Floating before me, it fired a laser shot that left me grabbing my arm in the spot where it had left a burn.
A chuckle came from Master Yoda. Apparently, I was to be his entertainment for the night. "Let it burn you, you did. Trying to block it's laser blasts, is your goal." He chuckled a little more and I could barely keep my eyes on this remote as it moved around.
Shooting again, this time I manage to deflect it with the saber.
"This isn't so hard," I say. Twice more it fires and at an increased interval. Again I meet the blasts with the saber.
"Overconfident, you must never be. Even the smallest of enemies, a great adversary may be."
No more had he said this and the remote fired off a few shots that found their target on my hip. "Ouch!" I yell.
Not wasting any time and taking advantage of my distracted state, the remote moves to strike once more. Quickly as if instinctively, I pull the saber back with my right and stretch my free arm forward to block the strikes. Focusing all my might on shielding myself, the remote fires and I hear the shots release but find no hurt to my body.
"Hmmmm." Yoda hums. "Interesting, this is. Force-deflection you have discovered."
The remote stops its blasting with the deactivation of the saber.
Confused, I ask. "Force deflection?"
Wisely, he looks at me. "Deflected blasts using the force, you did. A skill not many Jedi have come to use. Serve you well, this will."
I agree. This will be helpful if for some reason you don't have my lightsaber.
Pride fills my chest and spreads across my smile as I realize that I have managed to do something that not many have. Having these abilities has really opened up my mind to the galaxy and the way things work. Before, I suppose I believed there was little we could truly manipulate when it comes to life. I mean, I know all about standing up for what I should and know to be right and being an activist. Representing a majority and pressing for matters that benefit most has always been a role I've been willing to take. Now, I see that a small population have physical and mental abilities to make a change in direct moments of life.
What would it be like if senators had the ability to persuade their people via mind control or cause chaos by making it appear that a single group has done something that they didn't? Is this what Palpatine did in order to gain control as chancellor? Did he use these powers to create the illusion of a civil war? Did we all really fight for something that was completely untrue?
"Deceived, we all were. Unable to see the future are we when the Dark Side is in control." Master Yoda replies to my thoughts.
Gripping the saber hilt with both hands, I turn back toward the remote. Igniting the saber once more, I take to the contest with determination. Back and forth, back and forth I dance around the remote as it fires at will - it's laser shots met with equal blocks. Toying with the options now available to me, I do my best to counter the remote's attacks.
Swinging the saber, two shots meet the blue laser-blade followed by two others deflected by the force-shield created from my left hand. Continuing on in this way, I take several more passes from the remote.
"Very good, Padme!" Obi-Wan praises me, coming into sight from behind a nearby cluster of trees. He is followed by Dorme who had gone with him to help aid in getting the Master Jedi to the people he needed to speak with. "I can't believe how far you've come. He looks the same as he did when he left, only with a smile on his face this time.
"Trained much, this padawan has." Master Yoda confirms on my behalf.
Retracting the blade, I smile proudly. "We've been working a lot since you left."
I embrace Dorme as she comes near and then steps back to admire my transformation.
"It shows," He replies. "But don't get too confident, you're not a Jedi yet."
My smile grows a bit wider as I envision this being a line Anakin hearing at least once or twice. To Anakin, it seemed as if no matter how big or small the task, he was unable to live up to his master's expectations. Thankfully, I recognize that Obi-Wan sometimes says things like this honestly but with a slight jest in order to motivate others to continually do better. I want to believe that under that blunt exterior, is a sense of humor and a yearning to help others be their best.
Curious - I ask, "So how did things go while you were away?"
He walks around and then leans up against a tree, facing both Master Yoda and myself.
"Things were a little rocky at first." He sighed. "Many were reluctant to believe that you were alive and some demanded proof before they agree to help us."
"So they won't help all because I am dead?"
Obi-Wan shrugs, "With all that has happened with the execution of the Separatists, the establishment of the Empire, and the order against the Jedi, I fear a lot of our greatest supporters are just unable to see any hope of turning things around."
"Tired of fighting, many are when fighting has led to where we are."
Master Yoda was right. Most people just wanted peace and for the fighting to end, even if it meant giving up their rights to have an active voice. I was there when they voted unanimously to end the Republic and granted sole power to Supreme Chancellor Palpatine. I remember the thunderous, disgusting sound of the applause.
"You said 'things were rocky at first," I recall. "Did anyone agree to meet with us?"
Obi-Wan's eyes connect with Dorme's and signal that he had some success.
Gazing over to Dorme, her face hopeful and knowing.
Obi-Wan speaks, "Several leaders agreed to meet but wanted it made clear that it is only to talk and not an agreement to do anything to this point."
Excitement builds from my chest. "If they agreed to meet, then there is interest. Where there's interest, there are possibilities. We can work with possibilities."
"My thoughts exactly." Obi-Wan replies.
Yoda hums to himself with his eyes closed. "The start to a resistance I see, with Lady Skywalker leading the way, but discovered your light will be. A shadow hangs over the future but blinding it is not. When courage helps love to overcome hurt and distrust, only then can balance be restored and the wounds of this galaxy healed."
"We'll need to choose a neutral location." I begin thinking aloud. "Somewhere we won't be suspicious traveling to and won't be easily noticed."
"That eliminates quite a few places," confirms Obi-Wan.
An easy answer to our problem would be having our allies come here, but beings as the existing Jedi are all still in desperate need of staying hidden, due to Palpatine's order of execution, I can't expose Yoda's sanctuary. Dagobah is quite possibly the only planet capable of hiding his aura.
"Because I want to keep Master Yoda safe and this place well off of anyone's radar just in case, I think it would also be best if we chose a location on the other side of the galaxy. Somewhere that's close enough to the capital but also far enough away that it won't be too much of a distance for others."
Thinking more on the issue, I remember back to stories I had heard in school about some old abandoned temples on a distant moon. Kids in my class called them haunted and often times would dare one another to someday go there and spend a night. Later on in my early public service days, I looked into it a little more and discovered that the Massassi temples my classmates had talked about were really made by an ancient people who had been extinct for a very long time. I traveled there and found the temples and formations created by the Massassi were beautifully solid structures with a lot of potential.
I throw out the name of the moon, "Yavin 4."
"The Massassi temples?" Obi-Wan knows exactly what I'm referring to. "They could work."
"A place filled with much sadness." Master Yoda explains. "Enslaved by the Sith, their people were. Many reasons there are for why others have not settled there."
"Yes, we had once considered Yavin 4 as a place for a Jedi Temple, but the overwhelming sense of darkness and sadness that still echoes from within stemming from the enslavement of the Massassi was too much to expose young aspiring padawans to."
"A site known for a people who were oppressed by the Sith becoming the headquarters for a group of people who are now again oppressed by the Sith but who are able and willing to rise up against them is somewhat poetic. Can you think of a better place?"
Looking from one master to the other and then to my friend, I am met with agreement, knowing I have made a good choice.
"We'll need to agree on a secondary location for our initial meeting, though," I say coming to my own senses. "While we prepare Yavin 4 to be a central ground for our Resistance, we don't want others to easily give over our location if their hearts are not truly with us."
I turn solely to Obi-Wan, "Those who agreed to meet with us, are you sure we can trust them?"
"Two of them I would trust beyond a shadow of a doubt. The others, I am confident in as well."
"Other options for outposts could include Lothal, Hoth, Crait, Dantooine, or Jakku," I suggest each of them for their locations around the galaxy and because of their differences in terrain and climates. In any case we'd be able to establish outposts to utilize if the need arose.
Obi-Wan runs his fingers through his beard thinking, "I saw we meet our friends on Dantooine. It would be just enough out of the way for everyone and off of the main galactic routes that no one would suspect Yavin as our main location."
"Better to keep our base just enough in front of them that they are unsuspecting, but for our initial meeting with others interested in an alliance. We must test their loyalty and keep its location for only those who prove they're with us."
Master Yoda nods. "A plan we have, more people we'll need."
Dorme clears her throat, getting everyone's attention.
"Padme, what about your book?" she asks.
Obi-Wan looks to me for clarification, "What book?"
I know exactly what she is referring to.
"I have a book with names of people who pledged themselves to me during my queenship. Some of which have always been in opposition to Palpatine, even from before he was chosen as chancellor. Each and every one of them I trust and could convince to help us."
"Well, where is it?"
Looking to Dorme, who lowers her eyes, "I believe it's still in my living quarters on Coruscant. I kept it hidden in a safe place along with other important items; no one would have found it even if the place has been cleaned and reissued to another."
"Coruscant is the last place we need to be," Obi-Wan says gruffly.
Sighing, I agree but know it must be done. "We need that book."
After a few minutes of intense silence, Obi-Wan also sighs. "I'll go to Coruscant and then meet you and the others on Dantooine."
"No," I scoff. "I will go to Coruscant."
"My lady, you can't." Dorme disagrees. "They'll recognize you."
"She's right."
I stare in amazement as Obi-Wan and Dorme speak as if they are my parents, and I the rebel child.
Yoda, calm as always, steps in, "Her feelings we must trust, Obi-Wan. The only one who knows the location of the book, Padme is. Begin to face the past she must in order for us to move forward."
It feels rewarding to hear my small master's faith in me.
"I know I can do this," I say. "We'll take my ship back to Naboo and get another for you and Dorme there. It will be better for us not to continue traveling together."
"Agreed." Master Yoda says. "Too much of the Force the two of you harbor. Easier it will be to track you."
"I don't like this," expresses Dorme.
"Me either," agrees Obi-Wan. "But Master Yoda is right. For this to work, we need to be as careful as possible when traveling the galaxy. Too much energy together could bring unwanted attention."
"Good, it's settled then," I say. "Call on our friends and set up the meeting on Dantooine. Dorme and I will ready the ship."
Both turn and walk off, leaving me with Master Yoda.
"Remember your training, my apprentice," Yoda says. "Not yet have you mastered the ways of the Force. Your feelings you must trust, give into the dark you must not. This road, hard will be, but impossible your task is not."
Kneeling down to his level, I take my master's green hands in my own. "Thank you Master Yoda for all that you have done for me. I will not let you down."
"May the force be with you, Lady Skywalker."
His words send a surge in the Force-link between us. His energy gives me reassurance in myself.
"May the force be with you, Master Yoda."
I walk off in the direction of my ship and know in my heart that I will see him again.
