The weekend passed in a blur I didn't sleep much because I just kept playing our argument over in my head. Jasper didn't try to contact me, the only person from his family that rang me was Alice making sure that she was taking me on Monday. I felt bad for Jasper but I couldn't doom his future. He has so much potential and I don't want to ruin that with the mistake we made.
Alice pulled up outside my house early Monday morning in her yellow Porsche.
"Hey Bella, ready to go?" How could she be so bubbly this early in the morning?
"I suppose so." I wasn't a morning person and these pregnancy hormones where just making it worse.
We sat in silence most of the ride, I was tempted to ask Alice how Jasper was going but at the same time we both made our decisions that lead us to where we are now.
"Jasper hasn't come out of his room since he came home Friday night. I knew you were wondering I can read you like a book Bella." She smiled at me and I smiled the first real genuine smile I had in a while. We were best friends we knew each other to well, we were basically twins just from different parents.
"He's not doing to good he refuses to eat anything mum takes up to him. The only way he's be able to sleep is if dad gives him something. I don't even think there's a piece of whole furniture in his room anymore. He just keeps breaking everything. Mum's in tears she doesn't know what do with him anymore. Emmet and Rosalie came home from university because they were so worried about him. All we hear from his room in between sobs is please don't kill my baby darlin'." I was in tears I had caused Jasper this much pain all because I was too selfish to give my future up. Alice looked over at me and saw I was in tears.
"Shit Bella I didn't say it to make you feel bad I just knew you wanted to know." She looked so sorry for telling me, but I needed to know.
"It's ok Alice, I'm just upset that I've hurt him so much I wish I could be selfless and give my future up for the baby but I can't I'm not that person."
"Bella, Jasper told me about the offer he made you. Why don't you do that give him the baby so you can go on with your life. Jasper doesn't want to go to university if you're getting rid of the baby. Whatever you do he won't go to university." She was trying to be a good friend to me but also a good sister to Jasper, we were putting her into a really difficult position.
"It's too late Alice I've already made my decision." I just looked out the window I couldn't look at Alice right now.
When we arrived at the clinic there were a few protestors that yelled at us as we walked in. It was my choice not theirs if I wanted to keep the baby I would. The lady at the reception desk gave me all the papers to fill out and told me to wait over on the seats. When I sat down to fill out the forms I just couldn't do it. Alice said that no matter what I do Jasper wouldn't go to university. I was hurting him by getting rid of the baby. Why couldn't I just take Jaspers offer if I did we would both get what we want and I wouldn't hurt him. We still wouldn't be together but at least I left him happy. I grabbed Alice's hand.
"I need to get out of here now." She just gave me a knowing smile. We ran to the car and started heading back to Forks.
"What made you change your mind?" Alice asked when we were half way home.
"I was thinking about everything you said and realised both of us can at least be partially happy if I keep it and give him the baby when it's born. Either way we went would have ended up with us not together but at least this way I can leave Forks for Yale knowing he's happy with his child." I was anxious to get back to Forks I needed to tell Jasper.
"I'm proud of you Bella, I knew you would make the right decisions sooner or later." She gave me the biggest smile and it made me feel like I had made the right decision.
We pulled up to the Cullen's house and I gave Alice a questioning look.
"I know you Bella you want to tell him so do it now." She basically pushed me out of the car. I made my way slowly up to his room. I could hear him sobbing in between you could hear it's too late the babies gone. I gently knocked on his door, he stopped sobbing
"Mum please just leave me alone I don't want food or anything." I opened the door slowly to see his room in a mess with bits and pieces lying everywhere he was laying over his bed with his head in his pillows.
"Mum get out I don't want to talk it's all over it's gone there's nothing I can do anymore." I felt so bad for putting him through this the last couple of days, why couldn't I have made my mind up earlier I could have saved him so much hurt. I walked fully into his room and closed the door.
"I'm not your mum." When he heard my voice he sat upright so fast it was almost like a blur. If looks could kill his would have killed me on the spot straight away.
"What do you want Isabella?" he sneered my name he was not happy to see me at all.
"I just came to talk is all"
"We tried talking it didn't work you wouldn't listen to me, instead you went off and killed our baby." When he said that my hand instinctively went to my stomach, he didn't miss that movement.
"Are you in pain from the procedure?" with a slight bit of concern in his voice. I answered honestly.
"No I'm not" his jaw clenched and he just continued staring at me.
"I came to talk about the baby if that's alright?" He didn't move, he just kept staring.
"There's nothing to talk about you killed our baby." He hated me because he thought I killed his baby you could see it in his eyes.
"That's the thing I was thinking about everything you said to me when I got to the clinic and I couldn't go through with it. If you want the baby you can have it and I'll go off to Yale. It'll make us both at least a bit happy." I looked up at him to see a smile on his face I thought I would never see again.
"Are you serious?" I couldn't answer so I nodded. He was off the bed in one bounce and had me in his arms.
"Darlin' you've made me so happy. We're going to have a little family and..." I cut him off there.
"No Jasper we're not going to have a family, you're going to have a child that you wanted." His smile faded a bit.
"I don't care the main thing is that you didn't get rid of it I'm going to be a daddy." He started kissing all over my face.
"Bella, honey you've made me so happy today. What you did today proves that you love the baby at least to some point."
"Jasper I did this because I love you not anything else. I didn't like seeing you hurt and if the baby is what you want you can have it but once the baby is born I'm out of the picture there'll be no more us. I'll go off to Yale to get my degree and get the future I wanted." He still had the smile on his face but the look it his eyes told me he was sad.
"If that's what you really want than I'll take it."
"Yes that's what I want."
