Day 6: Healing
With as much force as she could muster, she pounded the top of his shoulder.
He was sleeping soundly, undisturbed.
She was trying to stay calm but everything was just so scary. Her own voice was shaking and the running tears were coating her face suffocating her slowly. She was trying to yell, trying to shout but the build-up of mucus in her throat was making that impossible. She pushed him again, with both arms this time forcing him awake.
'Dr Cullen!' she gurgled, taking a deep breath in an attempt to drag some of the lost air back into her tiny lungs. He moved too slowly.
With shaking fists she pushed with the last of her effort, which considering she wasn't even breathing correctly right now wasn't a large amount. It was an emergency, she would be forgiven. He sat up abruptly this time, squinting at her in the dark.
'Bella? Its okay- it's only a dream-' he went to pull her into hug like he would do with Edward. The hysterical coughing and screaming from her swollen windpipe stopped him.
'It's not me!' She chocked, desperate for the relief of the cooling air though the rising hysteria and the onslaught of tears were halting her. She was crying too much for him to understand her which only made her cry more which made him understand her less which made her wail.
'Okay- calm, keep calm.' He hushed but she was clawing on his arm, dragging him from the bed.
'It's Miss Platt!' She finally shouted, exasperated by her lack of voice, still shaking.
His expression changed. He followed her urgently into the dimly lit room where the other five girls were huddled around one another, sobbing silently.
And then he saw her.
'Oh shit!'
His first reaction was mirrored hysteria from the girls, his second was to turn into medical mode. He grabbed a pillow from the bed and quickly placed it Esme's head then firmly threw his arm across her fitting frame as her bodily unconsciously thrashed against him, he was trying to check her vitals, trying to remind himself he could only do so much without the medical equipment he was used to.
'How long has she been like this?' He was quiet but they heard him loudly enough. He made sure to position himself between the scene, disrupting the view by shielding her from their anxious gaze.
Bella was choking on her tears so Rosalie spoke, shakily.
'We got you immediately…' her voice hiccupped.
'What happened, did she fall?' he couldn't see any blood or feel a bump on her head but you didn't necessarily have to have bumps and scratches to have a fatal head wound. He was struggling to keep his voice friendly. During an emergency, his natural voice became cold and direct and at the moment, this was not what they needed. Bella was still sobbing and as cruel as it sounded, he had to block out the sounds to focus himself.
'She was breathing all funny and then she fell to the floor- we heard it!' Alice added.
Bella's panicked cries were followed by the groggy confusion of Jasper and Edward's alarm. He didn't need this.
'What do you mean breathing funny?' he pressed. Her convulsing body felt so small underneath him making him seem awkward and large. He looked up to see Alice comforting Bella, avoiding looking in their direction.
'It was loud..like…' Rosalie stopped
'Like she was struggling, like she was panicking?'
She stuttered, unsure, afraid to answer and more afraid to not answer but she just didn't know.
'What's going on?' Tyler said from behind.
'Miss Platt!'
Carlisle pushed Edward away with his elbow and shook his head, encouraging him to stay back. She would appreciate a little privacy, he owed her that much.
'Edward, just get everyone out of here. Phone an ambulance immediately, say: "unexplained seizure", then grab my bag, have you got that?'
Esme was still thrashing violently, looking so unlike herself that it was strange to think this was the same person he shared a bed with the other night. Edward was frozen, staring and making odd sounds. He was trying to take in the words, to understand his meaning but watching someone who seemed so indestructible, destruct in front of his very eyes was terrifying.
'Edward?!'
'I-I've got it.' He trembled, following his instructions shakily but with immediate effect.
He delved into the bag without looking, finding a filled syringe with his fingers. Tearing the wrapper with his teeth, he punctured the needle to the syringe then held it up to the light to push out the air. Turning her left arm, the one closest to him, he was surprised to see what looked like a series of dark cigarette burns with potential fist and finger marks followed by pale yellow bruises to accompany them. They followed the inside of the arm, past the underneath and disappearing from sight into the curve of her vest top but not altogether stopping.
Not the time.
He pressed the bend of her elbow, showing the vein and quickly administered the shot as steadily as he could though it was difficult.
The time that passed until her body slowed and eventually stopped felt longer than eternity and he couldn't stop thinking of those marks. Had they been there before at the beach? They were far too old for the answer to be no but he hadn't noticed them before and now they seem so blatant He couldn't stop looking at them even when he wanted to.
She blinked wearily at him, somewhat confused but mainly disappointed. It had happened again. In front of someone too.
'I have never been more unprepared in my life! You scared the living daylights out of me!'
He pulled at her eyelids and shone a painful light at her. She felt too weak to push him away.
'Epileptic?'
She allowed herself to breath, tiredly shaking her head just slightly, barely a noticeable movement.
He copied her movements, shaking his head too. Her eyes flitted quickly to where her phone had fallen from her hands and was lying face down on the floor, discarded. She moved to reach it.
'Don't sit up too fast...' he warned, holding out a flat hand to stop her. She ignored him, keeping her mouth tightly sealed. There was no way she'd be able to escape this one. He seen everything. She should just have said that she was epileptic, just to stop him from wondering. Just to make herself seem normal. A random seizure did not scream normal.
'You know all my 8 years of medicine completely left my brain. I had no idea what to do! Which is awful for me to confess but, in times of stress.' She wasn't saying anything, just watching him, blankly.
'Did you hit your head?' Again she only shook her head, thinking.
She moved her gaze to see the crowd of them huddled around the doorway, sniffling, frightened. Bella was still crying.
'Can we come in now?' Jasper asked quietly, looking extremely pale. She had large circles under her eyes and it was clear she was in pain though she made no vocal acknowledgment.
Carlisle began to say something but Esme had already nodded and they came rushing in like a stampede. She comforted them easily, as if they were the ones who had collapsed on the floor and not her. All the time keeping her mouth shut and her throbbing head moving. She couldn't lie to him about something medical. He'd find out- he was a doctor for Christ sake!
'Try to give her a bit of space?' He suggested but none of them moved, instead they ferreted deeper under her arms and she cradled them happily. Finally, she spoke.
'Where's Edward?' her voice was so quiet that he had to strain to hear her.
He looked sheepishly down at his hands and then back to her inquisitive face, judging from her discomfort now there was no way she was going too pleased with his next sentence. 'He's signalling down the ambulance…'
She groaned mutedly. 'I'm fine…'
'You literally collapsed out of nowhere.' He reminded her and caught her eyes looking to the phone under the table again but he kept quiet. She was avoiding looking at him.
Edward and two luminously lit ambulance men burst in through both doors, immediately jumping into deep conversation with Carlisle through foreign terminology as he encouraged them to confirm his suspicions. She resisted their poking and prodding but to even flinch away was exhausting. He was trying to reassure them that they needn't stay on one hand, for her relief she guessed, while on the other he suggested they do a series of other checks.
'Rosalie seems to think you had a panic attack before you started fitting, do you remember anything?' He asked her gently, so concerned and so worried. He was rubbing his forehead, his other arm across his chest, physically thinking.
'I've had them before Carlisle, I'm fine.' She tried to sound grateful but it was impossible to do while she dismissed his concerns.
'Are they frequent?' he probed.
'Does it matter?' She responded, wearily.
He stared at her for a few seconds. 'Well kinda, yes. Your brain literally went into shut-down mode and now you're saying that's normal?' His words pinched at her, vaguely conjuring up an image of a broken version of herself. Broken and shattered and bruised. Courtesy of a Mr Everson.
They tried with little effect to persuade her to be checked over at the hospital but she politely refused, ensuring that she was fine and that she just 'needed a good rest'. Of which was hard to enforce when her main focus was complying to her responsibilities as a teacher or rather as an honorary mother than complying to the responsibilities of her health and safety. The children refuted the return to bed, insisting that they had to stay up and they couldn't sleep but within moments of being tucked back into bed they had their eyes closed.
She smiled falsely as she turned to walk back into her room, passing his longing eyes but he grabbed her wrist intending to stop her from walking away but his eyes fell to the marks. He was ultimately surprised when she jumped a few feet, alarmed and caught unaware by his arm grab and spontaneously slapped him across the face all in one movement, spark like.
She gasped at herself, utterly repulsed while he stared in shock. He might've laughed on a usual day but he couldn't find any thing funny about the situation now.
'Oh my-I am so sorry- I wasn't even-' She was fighting the urge to step towards him and replaced it with tacking a step back.
He rubbed his pink cheek, confused, and frowned at his feet thinking but nothing useful was coming to mind. She was holding her breath, trying not to cry but the salted water was brimming from her lashes.
'I don't understand.' He sighed finally. 'You say we're 'close' but you totally freeze up.' She was frozen now. 'I don't want to demand an explanation because that's not fair. Your business is your business- but' He reached out to trace the imperfections of her limb but changed his mind, retracting his hand back to his side mechanically. 'I want to help you.'
'I don't know what to say.' She mumbled, holding her tears. Sorry, I am so sorry, I wasn't thinking, I didn't think it was you, I panicked, I didn't think, I am sorry, so sorry. Oh God. What have I done?!
'I'll start then,' He turned to face her in full, fighting the urge to lift her chin so that they were looking at each other face on, eye to eye. She was staring at the floor. 'Do you know how rare it is to have an unprecedented seizure? Like totally rare. I've never seen it before, the paramedics had never seen it before. It's almost unheard of.'
She was gripping her arm, tugging at the skin, leaving sharp indentations from her nails causing him to wonder if the marks below were caused by a third party or by herself. It was a stupid thought.
He continued delicately: 'And then Rosalie says that a panic attack brought it on and you refute that entirely…'
She had fallen in size, looking like a bashful child and though she was tired, the paleness of her skin made her glow. 'I just don't understand…' he repeated.
She was trying to force the image of the phone, the haunting chill of his words out of her head which only made things more permanent.
I'm coming for you.
'Sometimes I overthink things…' her voice was quiet and the words were slow to fall out of her mouth.
'So much that you go into a seizure?' He caught himself and looked at her 'Sorry,'
She was wringing her hands. 'What if I couldn't tell you? Would you accept that?' Her heart was racing now, making her feel all kinds of sick. Sick with fear, sick with guilt, sick with regret. He sighed and rubbed the back of his head, taking a large gulp.
'Esme. I-I like you.' She seemed surprised by this revelation but dismissed it quickly. 'I don't want to know things because I think I deserve to know, I really do want to help but more than that I want you to want me to help. I'm never going to force you into something you don't want to do.' The rooms were eerily quiet.
She really did feel exhausted now and worse than that the words in her throat failed her. In this moment, in the pale light of the lamp he looked angelic. With his sweet wistful blue eyes he held her gaze but gently and she let herself be held. Reaching on tiptoes, she placed a clammy hand on the side of his face, holding him as she softly pressed her lips to where she had, out of confusion, hit him moments ago, cooling the area. He went to lean in but within moments she had slipped back to her room. He didn't mean it she decided, he doesn't really think that, he's trying to make you feel better.
He was under fire of two extreme emotions, a genuine heart-ache and a loving determination. She on the hand was under several more.
'I know where we're going! I know where we're going.' Alice sung excitedly.
'Yes, Alice but you only know because you cheated!' Esme retorted, raising an eyebrow at her. Her head was pounding despite the tablets she had taken this morning .Her phone was buried in the bottom of her bag, weighing her down. Contrastingly, Carlisle was extremely warming and even more excitable then he had been a few nights ago. Even she had to admit, it was somewhat infectious.
'I wouldn't class it as cheating. You're the one who left your diary out.' She giggled melodically.
'But that doesn't mean you should read it now does it?' The telling off was half hearted as shown through the smile she wore. But she wore it like it was a piece of clothing, a necessity, a reaction from her drowsy state rather than the fact she wanted to smile. 'Come on now, eat up. We've got a long day… as you know.'
She ate greedily, shovelling the food down as if she were Emmett and joined in the chatter of everyone else. She might have been pleased if she was her usual self.
Carlisle caught up with Edward easily, he was placing his breakfast bowl beneath a sign for 'dirty dishes'. He missed his piano, he missed being at home where things were normal. With such a good week came so many health disasters and judging from the scratch above his eye, they were slow to heal. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Carlisle grinning a little-too widely. Almost as if he were hyper.
'Hey?' Edward greeted, carefully. Carlisle now lowered himself so he was bent in front of him, almost face to face. It was extremely patronizing.
'I want to talk to you…' he said carefully, he was now biting his lip, trying to hide his smile.
'I gathered…' He said impatiently.
'I wanted to maybe ask Miss Platt to dinner on Sunday. Would that be okay with you with?' He was bouncing on the balls of his feet, watching Edward impatiently. He raised a brunette eyebrow.
'What for?'
'For food of course…'
Edward thought carefully for the moment and then smirked. 'Can I order out?'
'I suppose?' -Depending on who's babysitting… he mentally.
'Then sure.' He grinned, matching his guardians smile and fighting him when he messed up his hair. He went to walk off but Carlisle was behind him again.
'Hey Edward?'
'What now?' he said playfully, sticking out his tongue. He was wearing a cartoon t-shirt which seemed almost like a massive joke considering that it was his father with the excitement of a child 'The other night. You said you liked Miss Platt…'
'Yeah. She's nice.' Edward repeated, showing a set of both milk and adult teeth. They were both looking at their trainers, Carlisle was fingering the ring on his finger, spinning it.
'Yeah…I was urm, just making sure…' He looked across to where she sat at the blue table, cutting an apple into slices but staring only at the knife, she wasn't eating anything. Ben was speaking to her about something and she had a smile plastered on her face to assure him she was listening. But she looked absent.
He was completely drawn to her. She was so complicated and still so very beautiful. Her hair was in its usual bun, the caramel tones combed into order and secured with a small hairband. Even the idea of her being hurt was torturous.
'Can I go now?' Edward said, laughing and when Carlisle gestured away. He found a seat next to Alice and whispered something to her so that she giggled and nodded.
Carlisle drove this time, looking in the rear-view mirror and shouting over the noise of the kids in the back.
'And what are we not going to do this time, Emmett?'
A few of the kids turned to point and laugh, he blushed shyly. 'Steal an animal…'
'Or?'
'Or damage any exhibits…'
'Exactly!' The cheer was evident in his voice
He looked at Esme and winked, noting that she actually smiled a little at him before averting her gaze.
It was warmer today and brighter than yesterday meaning he could put his sunglasses on again, hiding his staring.
As previously agreed, they split off into two groups, Esme taking Emmett for once along with Jess, Lauren, Angela, Tyler and Ben while Carlisle had everyone else.
He was holding the scavenger pack in his hand, squinting at it; bemused. Directions were usually his strong point but the map was unreadable. They had decided to loop in opposite ways and meet before the aquarium but at this rate, he couldn't promise ever finding his way to those damn fishes.
'I want to go to the exotic bird section!' Alice was begging in his ear but he was scratching his head. Jasper peered over the map in curiosity.
'Why on earth would you make a map this unreadable?!' He muttered under his breath looking at the drawings of the different animals scattered on the leaflet, covering the routes to follow.
'We need to head left I think?' Jasper said, turning the map around.
'Oh. Thanks, kid. Let's head left then team…'
The birds were beautiful. All different species and all different types with an array of striking colours lighting their feathers. They perched on his shoulder, encouraging him to squint with one eye and make a pirate impression. The kids laughed and filled out their papers.
'Dr Cullen?' Bella asked once they had ambled through the lion section. Her long brown hair was tied behind her in a ponytail and every so often, she turned so fast that it wiped whichever kid that stood behind her. It was Mike this time.
'Will Miss Platt be okay?'
I have no idea.
'Of course. Are you worried?' He was, he was certainly worried and that niggling feeling in the back of his brain, the need to find out what had happened to her, where those scars were from was becoming difficult to ignore.
'Maybe' she admitted with a sigh. 'It was a little scary. Why did it happen?' He rubbed the back of his neck where the sun was catching just lightly.
'Sometimes our bodies panic a little and they try to protect us by re-setting everything.' Everyone had turned quiet now, listening.
'Why did her body panic?' Rosalie asked, slowing down until they all stopped walking. 'Because she wasn't breathing?'
'Well, it's not that she wasn't breathing, because she was, it was just that her brain thought she wasn't breathing and so tried to help…You understand?'
'It must have been a very upsetting phone call.' Bella said briefly. He couldn't stop himself.
'She had a phone call?' he asked, confused.
'Yeah, her phone rang, she answered it then she started breathing really loudly and then she was on the floor moving around all weird, like.' Alice explained shrugging.
'Did she say anything?' He asked rather hurriedly.
'No, just started sort of crying. Maybe her mamma's ill?'
He raised an eyebrow. 'Maybe, Alice. I wouldn't worry about it- all is fine now.'
Let's hope…
Esme was holding Angela on her hip, pointing through the enclosure to where a black and orange stripped animal hid beneath the long blades of grass.
'Can you see it?'
Angela squinted a little more, looking deeply until she spotted him.
'Wow!' She said excitedly, Emmett was hanging on the edge of the wooden fence, one of many barriers to stop the kids from going even near the glass of the enclosure. He was swinging on it with Tyler but stopped when he saw her worrying.
'Miss, is your phone going off?' Lauren asked, hearing the heavy tone coming from her bag.
She dug into the backpack, unable to calm her trembling hands or her rapid breathing. If it was him, she wouldn't answer, she would just pretend it wasn't happening. She reluctantly pressed the call button.
'You're taking ages, we've beaten you already!' Her whole body relaxed, letting her breath and smile a little.
'Well, we won't be long, we're at the tiger enclosure.' She was rolling her eyes dramatically as if he were next to her to notice. She'd never been more relieved to hear his charming words.
'Wait, the kids have got something to say, put us on speaker…'
She did as asked listening to the shouts and jeers of 'loser' crackle down the phone. Mike yelled back encouraging her group to yell back 'cheaters'.
'Anyway, we're on our way. See you soon.'
'Be quick, we've all aged about ninety years already.'
'Ha! I could've told you that years ago.' What is wrong with you Esme? Are you deliberately trying to put the man off?!
He hung up deliberately, letting the dial tone beep in her ear. She laughed heartily.
'Miss? You've gone all red?' Jess pointed out, sniggering. Esme just hushed her, gently, but yes she was red and very aware that she was perspiring quite a bit. She was still desperately trying to fan herself as she came into view.
'You look hot.' Carlisle greeted when the teams reunited. Emmett whistled from behind and he instantly started to colour. 'I meant- you look like you're hot as in over-heated as in-'
She was giggling. He sighed, shaking his head at himself to reach into his bag for a bottle of water. She took it, gratefully.
'I have no idea where this sun has come from, the weather has been completely bipolar all week.'
'Tell me about it. I'm burning up here.' He nudged Emmett with his arm in an attempt to hold the laughing. It didn't work.
'Better not forget the sunscreen, this time.' She turned before being able to catch his amused look and led the group into the sting ray pool, leaning over and pointing to Bella and Jess.
His cheek burned whenever he thought about her lips on them, the sense of longing unfamiliar to him and so prominent.
'You're staring at her again…'
He jumped, offering a sheepish smile to Edward's smirk. He almost looked disinterested.
'I wasn't staring- I was watching to make sur she didn't fall in.' He ruffled his hair for the second time and was met with the familiar frown.
The children plastered themselves against the glass tanks, eyeballing the various colours of the fish that swam past and let Carlisle narrate from the information bars ahead. Alice was leaning over, dangling her small hand in the dancing water, splashing and encouraging a huge sea-turtle to swim up by her. Esme seized her, snatching her away as the sea-turtle read its snapping head, barely missing her. She only giggled when Esme glared disapprovingly at her. Her heart was in her throat.
After the fish, they took a slow wander towards the elephants, stopping off momentarily to purchase an ice smoothie from the kiosk.
'Want one?' Carlisle asked, expecting the usual refusal. She lit up, accepting the offer much to his astonishment.
She whisked the purple ice mixture around in the cup with the straw and placed a thumb over it so it acted as a pipette. Edward was giggling when he caught her leaning up to drop the ice down the collar of his father's shirt. She was holding a finger to her lips.
Carlisle yelped and vaulted a few feet, shivering and swatting at his back while Edward and Esme laughed and pointed. He gaped at her, knowing instantly it could only be her, Edward wasn't tall enough. The ice slid down his back, almost burning against his warm skin. He regretted not buying himself something with Ice in, he might've got her back.
The elephants were serene as expected and looked like they were waving at them with their long trunks. From behind, she could hear continue his commentary on elephant's facts, passing on as much knowledge as he could pack into their tiny brains. . They looped round a few times, getting their money's worth before leaving through the shop.
'Hey,' she whispered close to his ear while the children were staring at some of the merchandise. 'I've got an idea…'
The zoo was enormous fun but better than the zoo was lunch, they went to a local kid-friendly café designed like a beach hut with blue walls decorated with various sea animals. They placed their order before picking a large table, big enough to sit all of them. Once the kids had finished, Esme moved across, so that they were sitting opposite a sighing Emmett. He was sad to have left 'too early'. He, nor Jasper Alice or Rosalie wouldn't see another zoo for a long time.
'Emmett? Dr Cullen and I have a gift for you…' Esme said gently, moving his empty plate from in front of him.
'Close your eyes, kid.' Carlisle said, nodding to a grinning Esme. She placed the small tub in front of him.
'That's so cool!' Alice gasped, excitedly hugging Edward. Em opened his eyes carefully and burst into the largest smile his little face could handle.
'They're called sea-monkeys.' Carlisle explained, pushing the blue tub towards him. 'We're aware you're not allowed pets back home so I'm going to keep these in my classroom but you can come and look after them every day'.
'Is this a joke?!' He said, his voice jumping over the place.
'Nope- they're yours to keep. Your own pet to share with everyone.'
He jumped up, skipping a few times before hugging both teachers tightly and then celebrating with Alice.
They returned to their lunch, enjoying the show of Emmett and the rest of the children ogling into the tiny little tub. He was smiling so broadly, having it stuck to his face so tightly and so proudly that she felt somewhat emotional.
'That was a good idea. Well done you,' he commended, pushing around his plate full of food. He regretted getting the pasta, it tasted watery in some parts and dry in others and the sauce on top felt sour and rancid in his mouth.
'Well you paid for it.' It almost sounded like she was telling him off.
'No I didn't, I paid half, as you suggested.' She was one of the few people he knew who saw his fortunate finance as a sort of burden. It was strange. She scoffed at him.
'No, you paid the extra .99p when I said I was going to do it.' It was a weird thing to argue about, she understood that but the point still stood, she wasn't some sort of gold digger who expected him to pay for everything here and there.
'But you paid for lunch!' he insisted, smiling.
'And you paid for it yesterday and the day before and you paid for the hotel!' She answered. He had his hair combed out his face today but a few longer strands kept falling back into place. She was lucky to have his attention, let alone his concern.
'You also paid for the whole trip.' Her attention to detail surprised him.
'No the trip was-'
'I saw the receipt. You told Aro the trip was free and it wasn't. This whole holiday has cost you so much money, not including the add-ons like today and we couldn't even stay in the park.' He shrugged it off. They had different attitudes to money.
'Well, maybe I'll get compensation for that.' She was frowning at him and for once, her expression was simple enough for him to read. Why?
'What's the point in having money go to waste? I'd rather spend it on good, useful things like these kind of opportunities and these memories.' He answered smoothly, almost too-rehearsed.
She closed her eyes and smiled delicately, she was circling the edge of her coffee cup with her thumb.
'You contacted the site didn't you? This whole week, you planned it for them.' She was indicating towards the four foster kids.
'They offered me a discounted price for a larger group.' He confessed, he went to scrape up a bit of pasta but the fork got caught of a burnt bit of the sauce and he accidently sent it flying across the table. 'I just don't want them to miss out on things.'
'You're a good man, Carlisle.' She said softly and it felt strange to watch him be the one avoid looking at her, shy. She didn't deserve any aspect of him….
'Does this taste weird to you?' He asked, glowering at the plastic fork he passed across to her. She placed the fork in her mouth, chewed a few times and then swallowed grimly. His insides had turned to jelly. He'd just eaten from that fork. That fork now technically shared both their DNA. I should've been born a fork.
'That's vile. What is wrong with you?' She said laughing, pushing the plate away and washing out her mouth with the rest of her coffee.
'Me? I didn't cook it!'
'But you ordered it!' She retorted, biting her lip just slightly and making a face. He was coming to recognise this as a vicious cycle. Something happened, she knocked herself down and then it took a few hours for her to feel confident enough to flirt with him again.
Reluctantly, he flicked his eyes to his watch.
'Not the point- Anyway, we should get a move on, we don't want to be late.'
It was ridiculous for him to worry, they weren't even close to being late they were far too early meaning they had to sit on the river bank for a long time while waiting for the boat to turn up.
Yet it was worth it, the boat was picturesque. The sort of boat you expected rich people to own. They had a range of wooden benches, on both sides with a narrow walkway through the middle meaning that even walking single file had him looming close to her. They chose to sit near the back, leaning over the water to spot their reflections. The sides were long and yellow, painted almost like a duck and it felt like it glided over the water, softly caressing the movement of the tiny little waves with repetitive movements. The scene was beautiful, they passed the expensive houses on the riverside, spotted a few animals and let themselves be informed by what their eyes could see.
The journey would be a long one and they were only going to loop round and so Esme excused herself to stand over the balcony, looking over the bow of the boat into the murky water. She had taken her phone from her bag, and saw the missed calls and the withheld number. They weren't from Carlisle this time…
Pinching the phone between two fingers, she hovered it over the water, debating the consequences of just letting it fall in when something stopped her.
'What's the matter?'
She jumped up, alarmed and let the phone fall into the water with a muted splash. She didn't even wish it goodbye let alone give herself a chance to change her mind. All the numbers she needed was in her head.
'Edward, you scared me.' She said, placing a flat hand over her chest as if to calm her, he looked worried. 'I'm fine, just looking at the water patterns. Wanna see?' She lifted him gently so that they leaned over the bar together, he held onto her shoulder, feeling her heart race.
'I thought you dropped something in there.' He searching in the water, shaking his head the way Carlisle did when he was mistaken. She didn't say anything. How many free lies do you get until you really do go to hell?
Carlisle was sat bizarrely motionless in the middle of several rearing heads.
'You'll be fine Sir!' Tyler was reassuring.
'We'll be back in the car in no time!' Jess agreed, leaning from her seat to stare at him. Esme had to remind herself to be sympathetic like he had been with her all week but the scene was almost too funny.
'You're green.' She said, peering at him as she took the seat on the empty bench in front. He had his eyes shut and a curled fist against his nose and mouth, blocking his sense of smell.
'I would say more white…' Mike argued to which Bella explained 'green' was a figure of speech. He was holding his breath then releasing it quickly only to repeat the action over again.
'I never expected you to be sea sick!' She didn't want to be a bad influence by encouraging the others to start laughing but it was difficult to keep her amusement discreet.
'I'm fine.' The words were blunt and to be dealt with her own medicine was strangely discomforting. He wasn't the blunt type. He was the excitable type.
'Yeah, you look 'fine'' she said sarcastically. Emmett went to make a sound by was warned not to by a nauseous Carlisle.
The swaying lull was making him dizzy along with the various different voices moving around him as he tried to focus on not emptying the contents of his stomach.
'He always gets like this on boats.' Edward whispered to her through cupped hands, he shot him a glare. These were trade secrets and though it was obvious he wasn't well, he didn't want to make it sound like a permanent weakness.
'Why on earth did you book a boat trip if they make you sick?' She asked, really fighting the enjoyment now. She was a bad person for laughing.
He carefully re-opened his eyes and focused on one of the boat beams just behind her head, as long as he had something to devote himself to, he would be fine.
'They don't always make me sick…' The boat took a sudden swing which caused him to lurch, throwing a hand over his mouth contradicting his words in a snap.
'You'll be okay Dr Cullen!' Alice said cheerily.
'Yeah, just ignore the swinging of the boat.' Emmett agreed.
'And the smell' Jasper added.
'And the rocking' Mike agreed.
'And all the cool sights you're missing' Jessica matched.
He looked paler by the moment, desperately trying to fight the tornado in his stomach. She reached into his bag and found the water she had partially drunk from earlier.
'Here,' she said, holding the cool bottle to his sticky temples. 'We'll be back in no time.' She soothed, rubbing his arm. He was struggling to not react to it.
I should have thought of playing sick days ago if this was the result, he thought selfishly. And with something to think of, she was able to push the phone call and the image of Charles far into the recesses of her brain, locked away. Even if temporarily.
He was better once he was standing back on the grass, happy to be still and in control of his movements again. Holding out a hand, he helped the group walk down the steep ramp, holding onto Esme's a little longer than necessary but she didn't seem to mind.
He was happy to be driving again, to be in a steady movement through the roads to be watching Esme sing along to the radio as if last night was just a dream. She had let her hair down since the boat, clearly enjoying the breeze tussle up knots in her hair, she breathed evenly. She looked radiant with the sun glancing from her face
'You're beautiful…' he muttered to her very quietly, he was testing himself. He was quiet enough that she might've ignored it but he had still said them.
'What?' She asked, laughing sceptically. He was fighting the urge to stare at her. The road had to be his priority.
'You heard me…' He was smiling a little now, trying not to seem so juvenile by blushing but that was out of his control. She clearly found this a ridiculous notion and immediately started laughing, loudly. He was a little alarmed.
'You're insane.' She said, sounding sad and shaking her head, still laughing. He removed his sunglasses, pushing them back onto his hair. This wasn't the reaction he expected.
'How is that insane?' He was almost annoyed.
'It's just-not right, almost.' She was fighting a grimace, now it was his turn to laugh or rather snort.
'Am I not allowed to think you're beautiful?' He sounded shy now, like the little nerd boy he was. She was no longer smiling, just looking sadly out the window.
'You're not meant to…' she said carefully, shifting closer to the window seat.
'Why?!'
She took a deep breath. 'Carlisle I slapped you last night. I'm not saying that's normal for me because it's not, really. But. But it just puts everything on display….'
He was thinking about parking up so he could talk to her properly but the moment he drew attention to their conversation he knew she would clam up. Besides, the children in the back were creating enough noise for their intimate conversation to go unnoticed.
'What could it possibly put on display?' He was soft which a struggle was because inside his head he was almost raging with frustration.
'That you're Carlisle Cullen. You're clever and fantastic and far too good for …damaged goods.' She was shifted far away from him now, fighting the magnet pull of being close to him.
'One man's trash is another man's treasure?'
There was silence.
'Shit. That's not what I meant. I didn't-'
'It's fine, I understood what you meant.' She smiled but it was a sharp one. On one hand she was finding the comment surprisingly humorous on the other she was fighting her silly emotions. It wasn't even a statement, he was suggesting it.
'I wasn't implying that you're trash.' He continued, stuttering, fighting the need to jump out the van in the way of next moving car just out of mere shame. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
'I know.'
'I was just- I just- I mean.' He breathed loudly through his nose.
'It's fine, honestly.'
'Come to dinner.' He said finally.
'You don't have to do that-'
'I know. But, if you'd like to, I'd like to have dinner with you…'
She thought.
'Come to dinner tomorrow night. If things don't work out, we've left it as a good week-'
'My past is pretty messy.' She interrupted, trying to dissuade him, actually being honest.
'Mine's squeaky clean. Opposites attract.'
Again there was silence. He groaned.
'I'm not good with words,' He grumbled, sliding a hand down his face. Kill me. 'Just- give me the benefit of the doubt, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, we'll have a nice evening.'
'I'm not sure-'she began. I don't want to hurt you….
'Just- let me take you out!'
It had turned silent in the back behind him and he could feel their curious eyes watching the two of them. It was only now that he realised he was being far louder than he thought. Emmett began to cat-call.
'No one says a word!' He called, holding a pointed finger in the air. She was laughing.
'Told ya,' Alice whispered to Edward.
'Okay so now I have embarrassed myself in front of these 12 children-' He stated loudly, allowing himself to smile at his own expense '-Will you please go on a date with me?' he added quietly looking at her briefly, letting his fired cheeks engulf him.
She sighed, ridding herself of the last of her giggles before finally agreeing. How could she say no?! A few of them cheered in the back which he cut short with an amused glare in the mirror.
He technically kind of bullied her into that date but if things went well then he would be forgiven and if they didn't then she wouldn't. He could deal with that. Maybe.
They returned back to the hotel and feeling far too lazy to even bother to go out again, they decided to get changed into pyjamas, order room service and binge-watch Disney films in the boy's room.
'But we want to watch Cars!' Mike shouted, grabbing the remote, Rosalie grabbed the top of it so that they were tugging it between themselves.
'We want to watch Frozen.'
The boys including Carlisle cried out. Esme lifted the remote from their little hands, giving them a knowing and disapproving look.
'How about something more neutral; Finding Nemo?'
So that's the film they started with. Emmett sat on the floor, beneath the double bed next to Mike, Ben and Tyler pointing at his new found friends in their box. Rosalie, Jess and Lauren sat above them, lying on their front resting their chins in their cupped hands watching the TV intently. Angela was on the left corner leaning her right side and behind her Bella sat up against Esme's knees. Jasper was sat crossed legged, behind Jess, to the right of Bella and behind him was Edward who was curled under Carlisle's arm as he lay awkwardly to the right of the bed, ready to fall off. Alice was on the left, small enough to find comfort on the crowded bed with the best view of the film.
Esme was stroking his arm and it wasn't until she shook it then Carlisle realised she was trying to get his attention. He leaned passed Edward to see her point at Alice who was silently mouthing along with perfect timing. He smiled.
'I could probably do that with some of my medical encyclopaedia's' he said, feigning boredom.
'You're such a nerd.' Edward teased.
Esme smiled, nodding. Within barely an hour of the film she was asleep, breathing silently but letting her chest rise and fall evenly. Edward was watching him so he kept his eyes to the TV, pretending to focus on the film. He stole a few glances at her peaceful face, though, her soft eyelashes.
It wasn't until the film ended that Edward turned to him, looking unimpressed.
'What?' Carlisle asked confused.
'Well, don't you think you should put her to bed?' He stared blankly at his son, blinking rapidly a few times. If he thought he was embarrassed in the car, he was wrong. 12 pairs of eyes looked at him
'What?!' He repeated, copying his hushed tones. 'It's a bit inappropriate… Anyway, why are you suggesting such things?'
Edward shrugged 'Saw it in a film once.' Carlisle made a mental note to put a parental lock on the satellite box at home. 'Anyway, you put me to bed sometimes, surely you should do the same right now.'
'Son-' He said trying to laugh it off.
'She does look tired.' Jasper added.
'She had a rough night last night.' Alice agreed.
'Poor Miss Platt' Bella sighed.
'Fine.' He said it like he was swearing. He moved to her side and gently lifted her into his arms, being careful not to disturb her sleep. She was heavier while sleeping than she was while awake, as if the weight of the day was gravitating towards the floor. Moving the cover with his foot, he lowered her into the single bed in girl's room. He moved the duvet over her to keep her warm, covering the marks on her arms and with it, his curiosity. He would stick to his word. He wouldn't ask. He tucked a caramel lock of hair behind her ear, watching her nuzzle into the pillow before leaving.
'What film next then?' He yawned and sat back onto the bed. He envied Esme in the other room.
'This channel says Frozen is on next!' Rosalie insisted. He ignored the whines of protest. He couldn't be bothered
'Fine, we'll watch Frozen' Carlisle sighed, leaning onto his bended arm. With any luck they'd fall asleep quickly and then they could just go to bed.
They were less than five minutes into the film when Carlisle spoke up, confused.
'Are you sure this is Frozen?'
For starters it wasn't animated and secondly he thought he'd seen the actress in something else.
'It must be a live-action version or something?' Jess said.
'This actually looks kind of cool, leave it on Dr Cullen.' Emmett said from the below.
He must've drifted off because he was alarmed by a series of screams from around him. He as fed up of screaming. He missed the days of undisturbed sleep. For example Thursday night.
He saw the TV, saw the wolves and saw the blood and hurriedly pressed the remote. Jasper and Edward complained.
'That was not Frozen!' Lauren said, shivering.
'That didn't happen…' Carlisle said carefully, watching the frightened eyes of the children staring up at him.
'Can we just hear a story instead?' Bella said quietly.
He grinned.
'Sure! So our magical vampire was on a mission to find other vampires who would stand up to the Volturi and luckily the wolves were happy to be an ally….'
They were all asleep within the next hour…
Firstly I am so sorry about the line breaks, I was putting them in, I swear just for some dumb reason they weren't saving on the story which is super bad editing on my part as is any grammar mistakes or genuinely poor writing.
Also, just to clarify in case it wasn't clear, Esme suffers from dissociative seizures at times of extreme stress... but more onto that later
Please don't forget to review! Thank you! xx
