Disclaimer: Not my characters, just my ideas. JRK owns everything!

A/N: I take it many people enjoyed the last chapter. I got a few reviews that wanted a new update soon, and a few that even said they loved the story. You guy's have no idea what that means to me! I love all of you!

This chapter is shorter than previous ones. I was planning on going ahead and jumping 3 months into the future between chapters 6 and 7, but I decided to put in this chapter here, which is just some journal entries, and her internal thoughts to kinda fill the gaps from the time Sirius found Hermione to 3 months in the future. I really need to move along the chapters to move along the story... So I added in a filler to fill the gaps. The next chapter will give you guys more of a look into Hermione and Sirius' normal lives... Then the story is going to be picking up fast over the next few chapters. You all will finally get a look at the lives of everyone back in London soon!

Still looking for a Beta!

And... HAPPY READING!... Don't forget the review.

Aftermath: Chapter 7

(A Week Later)

Hermione sighed as she took out the blank journal; it was Sirius' idea to start getting her thoughts down on paper. He was concerned with the anger she was keeping pent up, she really did not care. It was easier for her to suppress her feelings then letting them out. She lost it that one time with Sirius and every day for the past week she has felt horrible about it. By now most of the cuts were healed, and the bruises were pale, but she remembered every mark she put on him. Because of that she decided to follow his advice and begin journaling her thoughts. She really hoped it helped.

She looked at the brown bound book lying in her lap. Her bedside lamp was on and she had a fresh quill and ink well to her right. She felt sick and a bit lightheaded, but she knew she had to do it. Being very careful she opened the ink well and dipped her quill into the black ooze. In her curly neat scrawl she began filling the white page with her tiny script.

June 15th, 2002

Today was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, one that I had been looking forward to for half of my life. Today I was supposed to marry Ronald Weasley, one of my best friends. Sadly, that has not happened. A week ago yesterday I was told by Ron that he had been cheating on me for the last two years of our lives together, and with Luna Lovegood, nonetheless. I was such a fool and an idiot to believe that I deserved something as precious as the love of a man. I am Hermione Granger, I measure my life by the books I read and the knowledge I gain. Not by the love of a man, a family, friends, or even children. I am so angry that he made a fool of me. As for my friends; how could they have know and not tell me. So much for loyalty. Funny though, I always thought being a Gryffindor meant you were loyal to those around you, I guess not; seeing as the Weasleys and Harry were all Gryffindors. I guess Sirius was right; I cannot live my life based on the preconceived notions of the houses at Hogwarts.

I hate them all for the pain they are causing me. I hate Ron the most. I don't think I could ever look at him again, or even hear his voice. My heart is broken and I don't think it can be repaired. I don't think I could ever trust another guy, because I never considered that the two most important men in my life could have the balls to hurt me so much.

Tonight I should have been on my honeymoon with Ron in Australia. I did have my own doubts about the wedding, and who knows what might have happened last week in my apartment if things would have gone different. Maybe if he was not cheating on me, we could have talked about my feelings and he in that special way of his could have reassured me. Things could have gone so very different and right at this very moment we probably would have been wrapped in each other's arms making love and I would have been Mrs. Hermione Jean Granger-Weasley. Who would've known what might have been. I cannot dwell in the past and the maybes. I need to move on and live in my new, yet unusual life now.

June 22nd, 2002

I've decided not to write my thoughts down every night or every other night; I think that once a week would be best. Sirius said he has been doing the same. Harry called Sirius tonight, he has been doing that a lot, but Sirius has been sending it to voicemail. He left the massage saying that they have decided to stop looking for me. I guess they have figured out that I don't want to be found. I've been trying not to think about Ron, and Harry of Ginny. It is easier said than done. It feels like I've lost all of my best friends. I've never felt this lonely before. Sirius is great, he helps feel the void a bit, but sometimes I just want someone to talk to. What would I give to be able to go and run to Ginny, curl up in her small lap and cry away all the pain?

And Harry, he was never good with dealing with emotional crap, but he knew how to be there for me. I remember when Ron was with that twit Lavender. It hurt her so bad walking in on them snogging. How could one man be so daft that he could not see what was right in front of his face. Harry was there for me. He always was. Just like when he and Ron were at odds during fourth year, I was there for Harry. I knew Harry did not put his name in that cup, I knew it was all a trick. Ron was always jealous of Harry, but Harry never asked to be the boy who lived.

Maybe I should have realized it when we were looking for Voldemort that Ron was the kind that loved them and left them. He did run out on us when things got too tough. Of course the necklace had a lot to do with it, but still he should have known better. Again how can one guy be so daft? I don't think that Ronald was ever the right guy for me. But it seemed like the right thing to do. We did love each other. Maybe I loved him more. I never cheated on him. It never even crossed my mind. I never could give up on eight years of love and friendship when faced with one rejection. I didn't even reject the proposal; I just wanted a long engagement. Am I not special enough, or good enough, or worth enough to wait two years?

July 3rd, 2002

Today I went back to London to visit with my parents. It was a hard decision to make, but I did it. I knew that they missed me and were worried, of course. The begged me to come home and stay in my old room. But I am not that Hermione anymore. I am not that innocent school girl. My world was turned upside down and I was damaged by Ron. All of the times I faced Voldemort I thought life couldn't get any harder than putting it on the line to help Harry. Fuck, how I was mistaken.

They told me that Molly and Arthur cancelled all of the wedding plans. They also mentioned how Ron had been stopping by on Thursday night to visit them. It seems that he had some hopes that I might return home. It also seems that he has hopes of us getting back together. How dare he? They are my parents not his. They are the only family I have. He has that wonderful family filled with all of that love and he thinks he still has the right to visit my parents and have tea with them.

Even with me being so far away he is still hurting me, taking things away from me. First the life I long dreamed of with marriage and children, my trust, my friends, and the love I had for everyone, and now MY parents. How dare they think I can just forget about his cheating on me with my friend, and come back to London to try to fix our relationship? I cannot believe they would even consider that? Here I thought that I was going to get support from them… Nope, that didn't go as planned. I'm beginning to think that besides Sirius, I have no one that is on my side, and that hurts.

I wished that I had enough courage to tell my parents off then and there. But I couldn't. I smiled, gave them both a hug, told them I loved them, came home, locked myself in the bathroom and cried for hours. Sirius was worried, and he still is. He told me that I've been having nightmares at night. I cannot remember them, but he says they are pretty intense.

July 26th, 2002

I got yelled at today by my roommate, Sirius because I stopped writing in here. I guess I've not wanted to. I find it pointless. I mean if my own parents cannot see the pain that I'm in and the pain that Ron caused, what the sense is writing in here. I really don't get it. I don't understand my life and I thought by getting away it would get better, but that is not the case. Sirius fears I am getting worse. I've not been eating that much and I've been getting sick in the morning, all I want to do is sleep and I fall asleep at random times during the day. He thinks I am depressed and that I need to see a doctor. I think that I have all right to be depressed. My life was yanked apart around me, and surprisingly there was nothing I could do to stop it. What was the sense of studying so hard and being a top student when nothing I learned could help me get out of the hole I fell into?

August 6th, 2002

I ran into Mindy today, the wonderful lady that sold me this house. We both went to the local café and had coffee together. We have a lot in common. We like some of the same books, we have the same style, and we both are highly intelligent. It felt normal to have coffee with someone. Sirius is such a good friend, but I feel that he looks at me like I am fragile and about to break. Mindy was a breath of fresh air. We decided to go ahead and have lunch together every Tuesday. I guess I only have another week to wait until I can have some fresh air again.

I still don't like her attraction to Sirius, but he says that when Mindy and I go out together, he would stay around the house and work on things. I don't know what kind of things he is talking about. But then again, a man's mind is nothing something easily understood by women. I just hope that Mindy is not using me to get closer to Sirius. I usually am a good judge of character, but my perception has been off since all of the crap went down back in London.

August 20th, 2002

I'm still getting sick, and I am still sleeping all hours of the day. It is starting to worry me. I am feeling better emotionally. I talked to Sirius about him treating me like a fragile doll. He understands and we have started back up our magic sessions after dinner and before bed. I am working on a potion that came into my mind one night last week. Sirius and I were going on a walk before bed and the oddest sensation overcame me. Some random mixture of the smell of the night blooming flowers, the trees, and the sunset, laughing at a joke Sirius said; it all made my heart relax. It felt like all of my pain and despair just floated away in the breeze… It was magical and now I am trying to figure out a way to bottle that relief. It was kind of like an antidepressant. I needed it.

The moment was magical in itself too. Sirius and I were just walking in the warm sand, he was holding my hand like he always did and we were just talking and joking around. God, it felt good to laugh again and mean it. I still hate Ron, and I still hold a lot of anger towards Ginny, Harry and everyone else. But I feel that I am ready to reenter into society somehow. I want to be back in the world of magic. I want to find parts of the old Hermione and paste them into my new life.

August 27th, 2002

I had a wonderful lunch with Mindy today and she brought something to my attention. She mentioned that she noticed I was spending a lot of time with Sirius. She asked me if anything was going on between the two of us. I tried explaining to her that we were just great friends, I doubt that she believe me. But it got me to thinking about how we look on the outside to people. Sirius and I spend all of our time together, we go to dinner at night together, and we do activities together, for heaven sakes we live together.

Could we possible become more than just friends and roommates? Is there anything more that has been happening between us that neither of us is catching? I have no idea and I cannot tell. I suck at relationship; I am not the type of girl that can easily put on slinky clothing and come onto a guy. Call me old fashioned but I think that a guy should come onto the girl. He should make the first move, shouldn't he?

September 7th, 2002

I thought today that I might feel more fulfilled if I found a job. I've always been a hard worker and I thought that maybe if I found something, even if it was part time, that I might be able to get back somewhat to my old self. I feel like I am being too lazy… All Sirius and I do is lounge around the house and town looking for something to do. We are getting bored easier now. I would prefer to find some sort of job that dealt with magic, but I don't know where to start looking. I know that there are witches and wizards all around the world, but I never really came across any wizarding schools based in Madagascar. So I did the only thing I could think of and I sent a letter to the Daily Prophet. I asked them if I could start getting daily editions of the Prophet so I can see if there are any jobs I can do through the mail. I hope to get my first edition today or tomorrow. I don't need the money; I just want to feel like I am doing something worthwhile.

September 17th, 2002

Help Wanted: Potion Masters seeking help with concocting and creating commonly used and new potions. Must be well skilled in potion making with preferred university training. Locations does not matter since minimal human contact will be used. If interested please send an Owl to: 148 Hollows End, London England. Please include your name, form of contact and enclose an original potion creation. Must be willing to work long, hard hours and meet short deadlines.

I've been searching through the Daily Prophet every day for the past week and a half. This is the only one that has sparked my interest. I sent in a response using the name HJG and my current address in Madagascar. The enclosed the original potion I've been working on with Sirius at night, the one that is almost like an antidepressant, I've called it, Mangainy or The Beautiful Life…

Along with the name and the potion itself I attached the following description: Mangainy is a combination of the words; the (ny), beautiful (manga) and life (aina) in Malagasy, the used language in Madagascar where I got the inspiration to make this potion. Mangainy is a potion that once taken allows the drinker to see the good or beautiful aspects of their life and not the negative. This potion would be a great treatment for those that suffer from depression in the wizarding world. Unlike the Elixir to Induce Euphoria or other 'Happy Potions' it does not make the drinker forget their problems all together, but shows them that there are things worth living for.

I am very excited about the prospect of finding a job and also getting this potion out there. I really feel that it can be helpful to many, many people.