The Road Not Taken
Morgan and Garcia
Chapter Seven
October 2010
Derek's living room look like it got ransacked by an unsub in the middle of a psychotic break. But it was just his drunken, angry, hurt lashing out that caused all the damage. Penelope had hidden from Derek the fact that her and Lynch were split up for the last four months.
All their friends knew but he was left in the dark about it.
It was more than clear that even though Penelope was single and even though they had worked hard for a month to get close again, and even though the sexual tension was off the charts she didn't want something real with him. Because she never opened her mouth to say they could have it now.
He knew eventually he would break down and cry. Eventually he would face that he had to get over Penelope. Eventually he would stop seeing little snatches of that dream he had while in a coma in his head. Eventually he would move on. Some day he would love another, marry another, father her kids.
It just seemed so unreal at that moment.
He felt sick, empty and completely spent. His anger was starting to dissipate into numbness when there was a knock on his door. Turning quickly he looked through the glass next to the door and saw Penelope.
And then the anger came back full force. He walked over and yanked open the door. "You do not want to be here right now. Go home, Garcia!"
"First let me say that I'm here to apologize for any hurt that I caused you by not being honest."
"Don't you get it? I don't care! I don't even care anymore what you say or do! Its clear that I don't rate in your life anymore! So from here on out why don't you just stay the hell out of mine!"
"After the way you treated me this last summer do you really think you have any room to judge me? You cut me out! You didn't call me once. Didn't see me once. If you didn't come back to work or I didn't call you then our friendship would be reduced to memories by right now. Cause you put in ZERO effort and threw me out of your house and your life. So I didn't tell you about the most important thing that happened in mine...that's right, Derek. I dared to keep something intimate, painful, life changing and private from you because you don't deserve to know. I don't even know why I'm here apologizing to you! I'd do it all over again just the same. I get to conduct my love life however the hell I want and unless and until you want to step up and have the damn guts to be my man you, Derek Morgan, can consider your opinion on it NOT NEEDED!" Then she stormed away.
After a stunned moment Derek ran after Penelope, who had almost made it to Esther by then, and took hold of her arm, spinning her again and bringing her against his chest. "Come here."
She fought slightly to make him leave go.
He murmured, as he held her head against him, "Shhhh, baby."
After a moment she relaxed but he could hear her crying softly. He scooped her up and carried her inside.
Seeing how his living room was in shambles she cried "Oh my God, this place is a disaster. Did you do this?"
Instead of answering her, he kicked the door closed, pressed a kiss to her temple and carried her past the torn up living room, down a long hall and into his bedroom. He set her down. There was no light on in the room, just moonlight streaming through the window.
Derek ran his hands up and down Penelope's upper arms. Then he raised his fingers and softly brushed away her tears before titling her head up. Lowering his head he kissed each of her wet cheeks.
"Baby girl, you hear me right here and now. I don't just want to be your man. I am your man. And if you let me I will always be your man. That's what I pray you allow for us. I've prayed so hard for this. God must be sick of hearing Derek Morgan and seeing him on his knees that he finally answered my prayers...Please put me out of my misery, give my life meaning again, and make this all real...Tell me that you want to be my woman."
Penelope's mouth opened and closed several times and then she burst out crying. Derek's eyes widened. He took a big step back.
"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry," he said "I pushed too much."
She waved her hand in front of her face. "Happy..." sniffle, sniffle "tears, Hot Stuff!"
Relief washed over Derek. He pulled her into another hug and kissed the crown of her head.
(I know that she's not perfect
but she tries so hard for me.
And I think God she isn't cause how boring would that be?
-x-x
It's the little imperfections.
It's the sudden change of plans.
When she misreads the directions,
we're lost but holding hands.
-x-x
Yeah I live for little moments like that.) (Little Moments by Brad Paisley)
A deep warmth, almost as powerful as he felt in his dream, flowed through Derek. He shook slightly as he hugged her close. "Baby girl, my God, I can't imagine losing you for good from my life. I need you so much. Do you know how much I love you? I love you with every breath of my body, every beat of my heart and all of my soul."
She kissed against his t-shirt and Derek felt his heart swell even more. Cradling her face in his hands he gave her a very gentle kiss that increased the warm, peaceful feeling in him by twenty times.
He took her hand and led her to the bed. Knelt down and took off both her shoes. Stood up and took the clips out of her hair. He kicked off his shoes. Took time to take his guns off and pull his cell out of his pocket. And then he asked her "Will you lay down with me? I just need to hold you and convince myself this is where you want to be most right now."
She nodded and they lay on his bed, both on their sides, looking at each other. She caressed his cheek. "I wanted to stay here so bad in June. I know its hard to let someone help you when you're sick or injured but I'm not just someone. Tell me you won't ever be stubborn that way again, Derek."
"I'm sorry my pride got in the way but it was more than that, sweetness. I knew if you stayed here it would torture me because you weren't mine all the way. Not in this way that you are right now. I couldn't settle for just a part of you anymore. I wanted all of you. I still do. And, woman, you best believe that I always will. Settling for less is done for this man."
She smiled sweetly. "Good. I will take that as the sacred vow that I hope it was intended as."
"Silly girl, you have my vow, my word, my heart, my life, my future. Everything. You are everything to me and you have everything I have to offer. Only you, Penelope. No other woman has ever gotten in my heart. I won't let anyone there but you."
(When she's laying on my shoulder
on the sofa in the dark
and just about the time she falls asleep
so does my right arm.
-x-x-
And I want so bad to move it
cause its tingling
and its numb.
But she looks so much like an angel
that I don't wanna wake her up.
-x-x-
Yeah, I live for little moments like that)
They shared a tender kiss and she whimpered into his mouth, then pressed herself closer to him, running her hand over his bicep.
Penelope said "I almost lost you in California. I never told you but when I was in the hospital waiting for you to wake up it hit me...if you were to leave me...you hadn't given me a baby yet. And I want that, Derek. I felt so hollow when you were in the coma...and that's when I knew I couldn't love anyone more than I love you. I knew I had to end my relationship because I loved you with all of myself and there was nothing left for anyone else."
Those words were just what he needed to hear to reassure him that he had her love.
(When she steals my heart again
and she doesn't even know it.
-x-x
Yeah I live for little moments like that) (Brad Paisley)
"Baby girl, you just don't know how happy you're making me right now." He ran a finger down her nose. "This is all I've been praying to have happen for us. All I want most for my life is to have you by my side. Right here in Derek Morgan's bed every damn night of your life."
"That idea takes my breath away."
"I need you with me, Penelope. I'm so tired of being alone and missing you. I'm ready to settle down and I'd never want to do that with anyone but you."
"Hearing that does make my heart sing, my love."
"Want it to sing more? How about hearing this? This, bar none, qualifies as the best night of my life."
"Oh, Derek."
He gave her another gentle kiss.
She said "I know I ticked you off earlier and I am sorry for that. We were so close when we were in California and the train ride home...I kept wishing it didn't have to end...and then you sent me home. I was sure you didn't feel it like I did...I thought you wanted to get rid of me and call some other woman up."
Derek smiled at her. "You're so crazy, sweetheart. There has been no other woman in my bed since I was injured. I woke up and I looked in your eyes and I saw my only love. So its you or no one, Garcia."
"Its me."
He chuckled. "Damn straight it is." And then he kissed her again, while letting his hand roam down her side, over her thighs and ass, making her moan.
She pulled back. "Oh! We have to thank Reid. He told me that you love me and to come here tonight."
"Mmm, how can you lay a kiss like that on me and be thinking about Reid at the same time? Silly girl, focus please."
Penelope giggled and they went back to kissing.
