Written: March 23, 2012

Song 7: "Si te vas" (If you go". Iceland thinks about how the breakdown of his family caused such changes in his life.

Author's Note: "Si te vas" is the Spansih version of Iceland's 2009 Eurovision song 'If you go" who came second, which was the best result the country has achieved.

Disclaimer: I decided to put the lyrics up again, so I thought that I better make it clear that I don't own anything. And the lyrics are taken from diggiloo space net


Si te vas (If you go)

You tell me that you love me

Sometimes there are tears

That you can see falling

They talk of lies

Are they only lies?

I need to know

His father was drunk and so Iceland had the duty of bringing him home. His father also had a very important meeting the next day, so Iceland thought that he should help by taking out the military uniform that his father would have to wear tomorrow.

Upon opening the closest, he saw rich gowns in the fashion of centuries ago with jewelries that any museum would have begged on their knees to gain.

It was the wardrobe of a married man, because the clothes of his mother were still there. As if she would return. This didn't surprise him, as he knew what his father was like in that matter.

He reached to touch the fine fabric, but all that responded was the coolness of a fabric that had not been worn since centuries ago.

"…mama, where are you now?" he whispered.

He never once noticed her tears, because he never once thought that there were tears. However, now he knew that there must be tears.

"I want to know the truth, Faðir," he said softly. "I want to know what really happened."


Is the dream already over?

Falling down out of the blue

"…and would knowing the truth really make it easier?" his father whispered. He was drunk, but he was not drunk in his usual way. Instead of being rowdy and merry with his men, he was extremely bitter.

"I just want to know the truth." Iceland decided.

Even at the cost of the perfect childhood that he thought he had…the perfect childhood that he would like to have.

Why was he so insistent? He was not sure.

Was it guilt that he did not help his mother by remembering her as a figure who always smile, and therefore ignoring her tears? Or did he actually wish to punish himself for being a hopeless child that could not do anything to prevent this?

Closing his eyes, he remembered the day when everything shattered. His mother was gone, while his proud father was completely beaten.

He took hold of his father's hand, because that was the only thing that he could do.


If you go (if you go)

Is it over?

Can I live without you?

Was it you? (was it you?)

You told me you would never leave me like this

A mother was always meant to be there. A mother should always be there. She was also a mother who promised him that she would always be there.

The first time that she promised this…it was when he first learnt that he would one day be the ruler of this small island.

"Do you not like this island?" a frown had been enough.

"I like it." he assured both her and the island. "But it is so far away from you and papa."

At this, she laughed.

"That doesn't matter, because I will always be there. Even if we are not right by one another, I will always be there."

Yet she was gone.

He could scream her name until his voice was no more then a hoarse whisper, but the answer would still be the silence of her absence.


You don't understand me

Isn't it enough to want you?

Love is fading away

With these disappointments

Torments and passions

Will it all end?

Iceland often wonder whether his father guessed that his decision of going to Iceland also contained an element of escapism. There were memories of him walking on this land with his parents on either side, the three of them connected due to his hands, but it was easier then the memories he would see in Denmark.

He was very different from his family because nothing significant happened when the people began to grow due to the reunion of the nation and the land. His people lived and died, happy in their isolation, their trouble free life prevented pages of histories being dedicated to them.

He was like his people, because he didn't want any thing.

No, that was not true. He had a wish, but it was a wish that could never be.

All he desired was to have that peaceful time again, before everything started to break and shatter beyond repair.


Is the dream already over?

Falling down out of the blue?

Germany was not happy with his decision. It was one thing to not help her friend, but another thing to not help her. They were cousins and they were quite close, although it was clear that they were not close enough, since that was why she was making this mistake.

He hated fighting, because that image of that day long ago would never leave him.

His father being beaten on the ground by his uncle, whose eyes had an almost insane rage that he did not manage to hide even when his mother and him arrived.

His aunt who watched all of this quietly. She was upset at what happened, yet she was also satisfied at the same time, because this was what she intended.

His mother kneeling to her own brother…weeping as she pleaded for him to not take her away.

As his cousin continued to shout at him, her voice increasing due to her becoming passionate, he suddenly realised that there was a coldness around him.

His parents were both openly affectionate people, and he himself had been like that when he was younger. However, he was now very different. Was this due to all that had happened as well?

The security his life centered on was suddenly shattered, and this was the only way that he could deal with it.


If you go (If you go)

Is it over?

Can I live without you?

Was it you? (was it you?)

You told me that you would never leave me like this

His mother died, but his father was there, and his father continued to be there. So he made that same mistake again. Because his father was there, he thought that his father would always be there and he never once considered the possibility of his father being gone.

Therefore, he did not know what to do when his father might be gone.

What ought to be impossible was now something that might very likely happen.

When he was a child, his father had been invincible. He was not as good as the heroes of his bedtime stories, as he thought that his strong father was even better.

He then learnt that his father could be beaten, unable to protect the one that was so important to them. His father was no longer like the gods of the stories, yet he only became one of the heroes. Therefore, he believed that what he saw would never happen again.

He lived through his mother's absence because his father was there, but who would be there to help him if his father was gone?


(If you go)

(Is it over?)

Will my pain go away?

If you go? (If you go)

Is it over?

I, abandoned in this way?

He decided to walk around his island and once more, he saw the little child who laughed because sadness was an emotion that the child did not know of.

He now realised that he had been very lucky, as he had a mother that was always there. His cousin had both her parents, but Sweden and Norway had both been very busy.

He had a mother that was right beside him, whose arms would always be open to embrace him, and a father that would smile and carry him on his shoulders, indicating that if he could, then he would choose his son over the works that occupied his days.

The teenager could not be like the happy child, because the ones who laughed with him were no longer able to laugh with him. Because he knew what he had when he lost it, he would continue to miss it.


If you go…

The circle that he set out would soon be closed, but he was still not able to come up with a decision. The past continued to haunt him and he was afraid of making a future that might destroy the past. Perhaps he was the one who was the most stubborn in clinging onto his mother's memory as his guilt was not relate to what he did, but what he might have done.

Even now…despite what Canada said, he was still not willing to accept the fact that she was gone. Perhaps he was so afraid of losing his father because he would then have to truly face the fact that his parents were both gone.


Author's Note: I should really be writing a song fic for 'Mundu eftir mér' or 'Never forget' but this end up happening. If I wrote a song fic for the above two songs, then it would be about DenmarkxCanada/Vinland, or Norway and his relationship with the three women in his life. Initially I thought about writing normal Germany (not femGermany) but I decided against it, as I want to work with the idea of Norway thinking about his relationship with the three women of his life, little sister, wife and daughter. Anything, the point is that these two song fics would not have been focusing on Iceland and I actually want to write a song fic that centers on Iceland.

And this song is Iceland's song as well. The 2009 song. The song is a romantic song but the context is not. It really is just paternal and maternal love. I choose the Spanish version partly because I feel that out of all the versions, the message could be about non-romantic relationship.

One of the reasons that I want to write this song fic is due to me thinking about how Denmark and Canada are both people who would show their emotions openly, yet Iceland is quite different. He is one who almost hide his emotion beneath a slight coldness. Obviously, the real reason is because Iceland is Norway's brother, and the two brothers are quite alike. Yet I also feel that the portray of Iceland like this is still possible, even though I made him their child. Yet I then started to think, why would he be like this? Upon looking back at what I wrote, Iceland was a very affectionate child. The way he played with his puffin and showed off his toys. I then realised that little Iceland was quite like little Vinland. I then felt that this coldness was due to what happened to his family.

I think this is understandable, because he really did have a very perfect family, and I think the losing of it would cause a very severe effect. Another reason that I had this idea was due to me contrasting this family with Norway and Sweden. Unlike Germany, he had parents that always showed their emotions, and unlike Germany, his parents were very occupied with him. After all, Norway and Sweden were both very occupied with what was happening since she was born when they had a huge kingdom. Yet Vinland was living with Denmark and so her attention was completely given to him. Also, it is like what Canada herself said. Both Denmark and Norway knew that losing her was their own fault, as they had been the one who took her away without giving her a choice (I refer to when Norway took her away from Denmark, not when he took her away from Vinland, as she had wanted to go with him).

I think Iceland was never ambitious in the first place, but I think another reason is because of what he saw. The happiness time he had was with his family, while he saw the pain that seeking more power caused his relatives. In addition, this is also due to the fact that he hates war.