He opened his eyes to see Harley Quinn, in her usual clown makeup, beaming down at him. "Hi, Batsy!" she exclaimed. "So good to see you again after all these years! Why didn't you write to me? It would have been nice to get a sympathy card from an old friend like you!" she giggled. "But then I guess I ain't really seen you before, not like this," she said, studying him. "Bruce Wayne. Mr. J was right – knowing does kinda spoil the fun," she sighed.
Bruce realized he was in the steel mill somewhere, tied onto a conveyer belt which disappeared into darkness at the far end of the room. It wasn't moving at the moment, and Bruce immediately began looking around for some way out of his situation. His eyes fixed on Harley, dressed in red and black, but not her usual costume.
"Sorry, I can't fit into my leather anymore, but then I have had a kid," said Harley, seeming to read his thoughts. "It kinda ruins your figure. Worth it, though," she murmured, smiling as J.J. appeared beside her. He kissed her cheek and she ruffled his hair fondly. "He's such a good boy. And just like his Daddy, don't you think?"
"On the outside, certainly," agreed Bruce, nodding. "Have you twisted his mind as well as his body, so that he's become as evil as his father on the inside too?"
Harley struck Bruce across the face. "His father was the greatest man who ever lived," she hissed. "And better than you in every way."
"Killing me isn't going to bring him back, Harley," growled Bruce.
"No," agreed Harley, shaking her head. "No, he's dead and gone forever." Her eyes filled with tears, which she hastily wiped away. "Killing you is gonna be a lotta fun, however," she said, smiling again. "And what more can you ask outta life except to have a little fun? That's what Mr. J always believed. And after we take care of you, Bruce, J.J. can accomplish what his Daddy never could," she said, beaming at him. "He can kill the Bat."
Bruce wasn't afraid to face his own death – if this was the end for him, it was as good as any. But he couldn't let Harley and her son continue their mad crusade of vengeance against Tim, who hadn't done anything to them. He looked wildly around for a way out. There was always a way…
"I never got to thank you, Batsy, for carrying Mr. J's body outta Arkham City," said Harley. "I know why you did it – you wanted everybody to see the proof, that the great Joker was finally dead. After I broke outta the nuthouse, I went to the morgue to try to steal his body back. I thought…I thought I could preserve him forever…the way Penguin stuffed people…y'know. So he'd…always be here."
She wiped her eyes. "But when I got there it was too late," she whispered, tearing up again. "They had cremated his body already. They had…burned him…the most beautiful man in the world. His smile should've been preserved forever, but instead his beauty was destroyed in flame, and his perfect body turned to ashes. It's only fair that the same thing happens to you. Only…you ain't gonna be quite so dead as Mr. J was," she murmured.
Bruce suddenly heard the sound of an engine turning on, and then a rumbling. He looked up to see that J.J. had pulled a switch which started the conveyer belt, and the furnace at the end of it.
"I imagine it'll hurt quite a bit," whispered Harley, giggling and clapping her hands in excitement. "The fire's at a pretty low temperature, so it'll start to melt the flesh off your bones slowly. And maybe you'll feel, in your last few agonizing minutes of life, how Mr. J felt. And how I've felt for twenty lonely years," she hissed.
"If you kill me, you'll never know how he died," said Bruce.
"I know how he died," she snapped. "You killed him."
He shook his head. "He killed himself," he retorted.
"You're a liar!" she hissed. "Mr. J would never have done anything like that! He was gonna live forever! He was gonna be Joker: the Immortal! Why would he kill himself?!"
"I don't know," retorted Batman. "I just know that he did."
Harley glared at him, and then said, "J.J., turn off the conveyer belt."
J.J. obeyed and came back over to them. "All right, Bats, talk," hissed Harley. "You tell me how he died, and I'll see if I believe you. I think you're lying, and you go in the furnace. I think you're telling the truth, and I'll let J.J. shoot you in the head instead."
"I…had the cure in my hand," said Bruce. "He said…that he knew I'd use it to save him. Because I always did. Because I didn't kill. Because even after all he'd done, I couldn't let him die. And I…I hesitated. I said that if I did save him, he would just bring death and misery to others, as he always had. And then he said…'Think of it as a running gag!' and stabbed me in the arm holding the cure. I dropped it and the vial shattered. He tried desperately to lick it up, and then looked up at me with those intense eyes, asking if I was happy now. I told him that…even after everything he had done…I would have saved him. And he said that was pretty funny. He died laughing at the joke."
Tears streamed down Harley's face. "Why…why would he do that?" she gasped. "Why would he kill himself, when he knew you were gonna save him?"
"I've been wondering that for twenty years," murmured Bruce. "I didn't fully understand how his mind worked, even after all the fights and battles…I don't imagine you did either. I don't think anyone could ever truly have understood him except himself. But as I've got older, one theory did spring to mind."
He smiled sadly. "Look at you and me, Harley. Look at Two-Face and Penguin. We've become…old. Even Ra's al Ghul, the immortal, grows old. And when you're old, the game doesn't seem to matter anymore. You play it for so long, and then you stop. The joke's over. The Joker died…while the game was still fun. While the joke was still funny. He knew I'd never kill him, you see. That was why he killed himself. He knew we'd keep playing the game until we were both so old we couldn't play it anymore. And he didn't want that to happen. So he folded his hand and left the game while he was still ahead. He made sure the world remembered him forever as he was at the height of his glory. Joker, the Immortal. Two-Face lost respect as he got older. People are going to remember the three-legged old man, hobbling around with his cane. Same for the Penguin. They're going to remember the frightened, blind, old man still desperately trying to cling onto a fading empire. But the Joker? Well, he'll always be the Joker, won't he? Maybe that was why he was laughing at the end. Maybe that was his final punchline."
"He…he wouldn't have left me and J.J…" stammered Harley. "He wouldn't…he loved me. He would have loved him…"
"Oh, Harley," sighed Bruce. "He never loved anyone but himself."
"Is that true, Mommy?" whispered J.J.
"No, J.J.," she whispered, turning to him. "No, it's not. Your Daddy loved me, he would never have done that to me, killed himself like that, not when he knew how much it would hurt me…"
"If Daddy killed himself, Bruce isn't responsible for his death," murmured J.J. "He tried to save him. We can't kill him, Mommy."
"Baby, he's lying, you know he is," murmured Harley, soothingly. "I've told you all about the Bat and his lies…"
"You've also told me all about Daddy," interrupted J.J. "And that certainly sounds like something Daddy would do. Unless…you've been lying to me, Mommy. You…you didn't tell me Daddy used to hit you. Harvey had to tell me that. A man who hit you couldn't have loved you, Mommy. A man who hit you wouldn't have cared how you felt if he died…"
"J.J., you didn't know him…"
"I know him better than anyone else in this room!" shouted J.J. "I've had to spend every second of my life trying to be him, Mommy! I know the way he acts and thinks, I know his jokes, I know his sick, twisted mind inside and out! He probably thought about how much his death would hurt you, and that's why he was laughing at the end, Mommy! He probably thought your pain was quite the joke!"
"J.J., you can't talk about your Daddy like that," whispered Harley, tears in her eyes. "He wasn't cruel like that, not to me…"
"He hit you!" J.J. shrieked. "He was a monster, Mommy! A horrible, evil monster!"
Harley gazed at him with tears streaming down her face. "J.J.," she gasped. "J.J., you can't…talk that way about him. Please don't…"
She broke off sobbing, and he instantly rushed over to her, clutching her tightly.
"I'm sorry, Mommy," he gasped. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. Please don't cry. Please. I love you, Mommy. I love you," he whispered, kissing her face repeatedly.
"J.J.," she whispered, gazing at him. "J.J., you have to do something for Mommy."
"Anything, Mommy, I promise," he said, continuing to kiss her. "I'll kill Bruce, I'll kill the Bat, I'll kill anyone, only please don't cry anymore."
She nodded, reaching into his jacket and pulling out his gun. She placed it in his hands and then stepped back. "Kill me, J.J.," she whispered.
He stared at her, horrified. "No," he gasped. "No, Mommy, please, you can't ask me to do this…"
"I failed your Daddy," she whispered. "It's my fault he died. I had the cure that would have saved him in my hands and that…bitch took it from me," she gasped, shutting her eyes tightly. "I was meant to bring it back to your Daddy, and I…failed. Your Daddy didn't accept failure from anyone, not even from me. I should have died a long time ago, only…I wanted to make it up to your Daddy. I wanted to get revenge for him by having his son, and raising him so that he loved his Daddy as much as I did. And…I failed your Daddy in that too," she whispered, gazing at J.J. with tears in her eyes. "You don't love him. I think you must hate him, deep down, only I don't know why. I don't know what I've done wrong – I only know I gotta die for it."
"Mommy, Mommy, please," whispered J.J. "Please, please, don't make me do this…I can't do it…I…I do love Daddy, I do! You didn't fail him at all…"
She put a hand to his lips. "I did," she murmured. "I know the truth. And I gotta die for it. You gotta kill me. You're the only one who can, J.J. – Bruce doesn't kill people, even as an act of mercy. And this is an act of mercy, J.J. I've been in agony for twenty years…"
"I'll make it better, Mommy," whispered J.J. "I'll do anything to make you happy…I'll be Daddy, I'll be just like him in every way, and you can pretend I am him! We can do everything you used to do together, and that'll make everything better, won't it?"
"You would do that for me, J.J.?" she whispered. "You would become your Daddy?"
"Yes, Mommy, I swear it!" he gasped. "Just please…please don't make me do this!"
She nodded. "Your Daddy would have killed me if I asked him to. And he would have laughed as he did it." She gazed into his eyes. "Be your Daddy, J.J."
"No!" sobbed J.J. "No, Mommy, please! Please! You can't ask me to…"
"Your Daddy wouldn't cry," she whispered. "And he wouldn't beg. If you love me like he did, you'll do this for me."
She smiled, holding open her arms. "C'mon, baby," she whispered. "Become your Daddy. For me."
J.J. was sobbing as he gazed at her, and then shut his eyes. "I love you, Mommy," he gasped. And then he pulled the trigger. The bullet embedded itself in her stomach and she gasped at the sudden pain. J.J. fired again and again, choking out fake laughter, until she slumped to the ground. He caught her as she fell.
"Why…why did you make me do it, Mommy?" he gasped, tears streaming down his cheeks as he stroked her hair back from her face.
She was breathing heavily, but smiling. "Oh, baby," she whispered. "I failed your Daddy, so I had to die. I couldn't let you fail him too, y'see. And…you haven't. He would be so proud of you. You're…just like him now. Just…like him," she whispered, raising a hand to his face. She smiled. "Every day for twenty long years, I wished the Joker would return," she whispered. "And I'm so happy because…now, he has. I love you…puddin'," she gasped. And then her hand dropped and her eyes shut forever.
J.J. stared at her body, crying softly. "No," he gasped. "No! No, Mommy, please come back to me! Please! Come back!"
He cradled her lifeless body gently in his arm, sobbing in agony. Bruce's heart broke to hear it.
It sank as he suddenly heard another sound. The sobbing abruptly turned into laughter, hysterical, maniacal laughter. Bruce saw J.J. straighten up, dropping Harley's body to the ground and kicking it. "She always was a useless waste of space, eh, Batsy?" he chuckled, turning to face him. Bruce saw insanity shining in his eyes, his eyes so like his father's now…
He launched into another burst of hysterical laughter. "Quite…quite the gag though, isn't it?" he gasped, grinning at him. "Taking out two people with one bullet? This thing here killed both Harley and J.J.," he chuckled, picking up the gun. "It's funny when you think about it, really, isn't it, Bats? And should we let the same gun take out the Bat as well?" he asked, approaching him. "It seems fitting."
J.J. pressed the gun against his temple, and Bruce looked back at him calmly. J.J. grinned, and then suddenly pulled the gun away. "No. No, much funnier to keep you alive, Brucie. I couldn't kill you, not after all we've been through together. I need you. And it's much more amusing to think about you slowly decaying over time, rotting away, your mind and spirit slowly breaking. Y'see, I never had to suffer that, Batsy. I had an escape clause. And you know what's really funny?" he asked, laughing again. "I am actually immortal! Cause you know what they say, doncha, Batsy?" he laughed. "You achieve immortality through your children!"
He laughed again, the Joker's laugh, insane and maniacal. "See ya around, Batsy!" he chuckled. And then he was gone, leaving Bruce alone in the steel mill.
That's where Tim found him later, along with Harley's body. "And…her son?" he asked, untying him.
"The Joker? Got away," said Bruce. "But he'll be back. The Joker always comes back."
"The Joker?" repeated Tim. "Her kid is…"
"The Joker," insisted Bruce. "I've finally got the joke, you see."
"What joke?" asked Tim.
"You remember what it said on the marquee? Joker: The Immortal? It was never about the cure, or the Lazarus pit. It was about finding immortality in your offspring. His real immortality was already inside Harley, and he knew it. He knew she'd raise the kid in his image, to be exactly like him. To be him, only with all the time he didn't have left. That was his last gag, and it was a good one."
He looked out the window at the city of Gotham, twinkling in the night. "He is the Joker now," he murmured. "He's back. And he's going to cause just as much havoc and mayhem as he always does."
Tim put a hand on his shoulder. "Then it's a good thing Batman will always be here to stop him," he murmured.
Bruce nodded, clasping his hand tightly. "Yes," he whispered. "Yes, it is."
