Love is an Art

Chapter Seven: A Lazy Thursday


Nikola stares at his friend Roderich as he goes on about his boyfriend's sister complex. This conversation happens at least once a week and Nikola has learned that to get through it he needs to pretend to care. So every week, usually towards the end of it, he meets with Roderich at a nice café and sits in a comfy seat with his favorite drink, resting his chin in the palm of his hand and watching Roderich with fake interest. Occasionally, when asked to, agreeing with whatever Roderich is saying.

For such a cultured man Roderich can complain a lot. It shouldn't be too surprising, he is human after all, but it always weirds Nikola out. As if the act is out of character for his friend, despite witnessing it once a week for three years.

"I mean is it really that important to keep her away from relationships? She's already sixteen; she should be free to date. Not have sex or anything of course, but go out and have fun. Or at least have friends of the opposite gender. After all, she isn't even into men. She is interested in a Belarusian woman." Roderich says and looks to Nikola, who perks up a little to make it appear he wasn't drifting into his own world. "Ugh, look at who I'm talking to…the one person in the world who hates feelings."

Nikola smiles at him amused. "I don't hate all feelings. Just the weaker ones like love, sadness, and whatnot."

"Robot."

"Priss."

Roderich huffs. "How does Demitri live with someone like you? He's so emotional it must be exhausting to spend all that time with someone without emotions."

"I have plenty of emotions." Nikola counters, his smile still present. Talking to Roderich should annoy him, since he's being called an emotionless robot after all, but it's true for the most part and being able to talk with someone who knows and accepts this is nice. He doesn't have to force himself to show concern or affection with Roderich because he knows very well Nikola isn't one for that.

"Your emotions are made up of all the simple things. When was the last time you cried?" Roderich asks and Nikola thinks for a minute.

"Hmm…when…I don't know. Probably when my last grandfather died." He answers and Roderich twitches.

"That was junior year in high school."

"Your point?"

"Robot." Roderich groans and Nikola leans back in his chair.

"Not at all. I love people and whatnot."

"Your love is twisted."

Nikola looks at him curiously. That was a new one. "Twisted? How so?"

"How do you not know? Those you love the most you only say something nice to…like…once every five years. Unless very upset. That is how I know you like me, I only receive insults." Roderich says and Nikola huffs.

"That isn't true. I compliment people a lot."

"Not to their face. Tell me…all the nice things you say about Demitri, or Elizaveta, do you ever tell them those things?" Roderich asks before quickly adding. "In an unprovoked and natural way."

"Ah…um…I've said nice things to Demitri…but those were provoked I guess…I compliment Elizaveta as well." Nikola says awkwardly and Roderich sighs.

"I can't believe I have such an unhealthy friend…you really would have made a perfect psychiatrist, they are all supposed to be crazy after all." Roderich says and Nikola shrugs.

"I'd rather work at a funeral home. They are comforting. At any rate…we aren't here to talk about me. We're here to talk about Vash, right?" Nikola asks and Roderich sighs.

"I wonder how much of this Demitri knows."

"Don't ignore me you little…"

"He'd probably have a heart attack if you cried in front of him." Roderich says.

"He'd probably cry with me, and harder than me. Besides, he's lucky. Living with me is a God-given gift. Anyone would be fortunate to have the pleasure of my constant presence." Nikola jokes and Roderich smirks.

"You're so full of it; it's coming out your ears." He teases before looking at his watch. "Ah, I have to get going now." Roderich mumbles, gathering his things and standing up. "Oh and a fair heads up…even someone who abhors feelings as much as you do will eventually catch them."

Nikola twitches. "That's one sickness I'd really like to avoid."

"But you won't." Roderich points out, setting a tip on the table. "I pity the person you fall for. Their hands will be full with such an unhealthy person."

"Remind me why we're friends again…?" Nikola asks and Roderich shrugs.

"Because we understand one another. Now if you will excuse me." Roderich says and heads out.

"Obviously that isn't true anymore…if he thinks I'm capable of catching feelings." Nikola huffs before getting his phone out. "I wonder what Demitri is up to…"

That evening, after Nikola's anatomy class, he gets home and sees Demitri on his stool in front of a canvas facing away from Nikola.

"Welcome home, Nikola! I got us some dinner, it's in the kitchen." Demitri says happily, painting energetically.

"Ah, take out…you need to get better at cooking." Nikola mumbles as he walks to the kitchen, grabbing a plate of the fast food before coming up behind Demitri and staring at the canvas. It's one of his abstract ones, as made obvious by the various colors in strange shapes. "So…what is this one supposed to represent?" He asks and Demitri sighs.

"I'm trying to get love down. Every medium I have used for it has failed. It's either uninspired or no one can see what it's representing." Demitri says before looking to Nikola. "Hey, what do you think of when someone says love?"

"Doom." Nikola says seriously and Demitri stares at him with an unreadable expression for a moment.

"Doom? Why doom?" Demitri finally asks and Nikola shrugs.

"Why anything but doom? Love makes someone stupid. They begin thinking with emotions rather than their brain, which always ends badly. Love opens you up to a bunch of new feelings that make you feel more than you could have ever felt without it." Nikola says before taking a drink of his soda. "It's horrible. A true tragedy."

Demitri stares at him again before turning on his stool to face Nikola. "Why don't you talk about your feelings?" He asks and Nikola looks at him surprised for a minute before laughing, his thoughts going back to Roderich.

"That would be a short conversation!" Nikola jokes and Demitri looks at him confused.

"I think it's a conversation worth having. Short or not." He says and Nikola's laughter comes to an abrupt stop.

"No. Now go ask an 'emotionally healthy' person about love and get your project done." Nikola orders before going to the couch.

Demitri stands up from his stool and walks over in front of Nikola, making sure to block the TV. "You know what I think love is?"

"Something cheesy no doubt." Nikola says, matching the intense gaze Demitri is directing at him.

"I think it's being brave enough to allow yourself to put another person, who might one day let you down in some way, above yourself. To trust them completely and want to constantly make them happy. I'm not talking about just romantic either. All love is like that. It's like…a mixture of every feeling at its most intense. Joy, sadness, fear, anger, sympathy, anything you can think of. Love is everything intensified because of a single person." Demitri says before groaning in aggravation and plopping down on the couch next to Nikola. "This is why I can't draw it! How do you draw everything?"

Nikola looks over at Demitri and frowns a little. There are bags under his eyes, his hair and clothes are disheveled, and his eyes have a strange dark tone to them. Being in college for three years, Nikola knows exactly what this is. Demitri is exhausted, uninspired, and most likely near a breaking point. Sighing to himself, Nikola reaches over to the now hunched over boy beside him and pets his hair.

"It will come to you. It isn't due until the end of the semester, right?" He asks and Demitri sighs.

"It isn't….but what kind of artist can't capture every emotion?" Demitri groans and Nikola remains silent. "I have all of them but love. Why is that one so difficult? I've tried everything, even drawing people I love. A portrait of everyone I love has been submitted and turned down now. I even submitted one of you, which was immediately turned down with the reason 'admiration is not love'. Pictures of my parents didn't even cut it."

Nikola moves his hand to begin awkwardly rubbing Demitri's back. "Look…love is something you have experience to understand fully. When you experience every type of love out there it will become obvious…probably."

Demitri immediately perks up and looks to Nikola. "Exactly! I've never been in love, so I can't fully grasp it! I need to start dating!" He exclaims before suddenly deflating again. "Ugh…but I don't want to date…I'm not romantically interested in anyone…and I'm so awkward with new people…"

"Try focusing on one type of love then." Nikola says and Demitri sighs.

"Maybe I should draw your version of love. For some reason an image is already forming in my head for that." Demitri mumbles and Nikola shrugs.

"Go for it. However, before you do any of that…I feel it is my place to inform you of something." Nikola says and Demitri looks at him curiously.

"Hm?"

"You look like shit. Go shower and head to bed."

Demitri smiles at Nikola and sits up, leaning against him. "I'll just nap here." He says, almost instantly falling asleep.

Nikola slides away from him in an attempt to escape, ending up with Demitri's head in his lap. "…Well…fuck. So annoying…" He groans, grabbing a pillow and placing it between his lap and Demitri's head. Leaning against the couch, he looks down at the sleeping face of Demitri and sighs. "This counts as provoked, doesn't it? Fucking Roderich and his points."


A/N: This one was written on a whim. lD Based on a lovely conversation I had with someone about feelings where a new friend of mine said "Why don't you talk about your feelings?" And I replied with "That would be a really short conversation." To which my long-time best friend just laughed at. After that I was like 'Oh! Idea!' I made Nikola have 'less feelings' because...well...he's smart. *shot* Smart people tend to be more analytic and don't lead with emotions. (He only does that with Demitri. And only occasionally.) I also wanted to show him and Roderich interacting, since I mentioned them being friends. So that's pretty much what this one is; a fulfillment of my random whims. Does that make it filler? You bet! But I also think it gives a little more insight into Nikola separate of Demitri, which is important and I will be doing with Demitri as well. They are their own people after all.