Emma lingered on the rapid transit landing before the Cult of Hope's chapel in the redoubt. The walls were still colored pastel lime green. It clashed rather hilariously with the aesthetic of the door before her.

It was a round, white disk of a portal. In the center was a stylized soul gem. Rippling lines branched out to five diamonds, arranged in an inverted starburst about the gem. The door was recessed slightly into the wall, with part of the bottom cut off to make a better pathway. On the bottom right, a pinwheel of intersecting polymer rings was embedded into a second disk.

This was it. This door, that Emma had been staring at for nearly a minute now, was the last thing that separated her from the second most important decision in her life. She still had a chance to walk away. It was… acceptable to believe in a supernatural higher being and not be religious.

But that seemed cheap, to Emma. Sort of a cop out. If you believed in something, you should pursue it with everything you had, right? Or at least, that's how it was for her. It didn't sit right with her, the idea of pulling a cop out like that.

Emma sighed. She still hadn't told Anna. She should probably do so, before going through. But Anna would understand, she was Anna. It was impossible that she wouldn't. Telling her now or later wouldn't change that.

Steeling herself, Emma stepped forward. The pinwheel lit up, glowing blue, before the door rotated itself about the pinwheel to fold away into the wall. A moment later, the pinwheel retracted into the floor.

The room beyond was a small atrium, dimly lit with sconced lamps. The walls were the impossibly dark blackness of deep space, with a cascade of stars falling across them like dust swirling across a desert plain. Each sconce was a small sun, the stars swirling around them in gravitational patterns that pulled and ejected them in an ever perpetuated loop.

With a quiet clunk, the door closed behind Emma. The oval of light on the floor disappeared, and Emma instinctively breathed in sharply. Without the grounding of that oval of light, it looked, and almost felt, like she was suspended in space.

Another door opened in front of Emma. A figure stood in front of it, a shawl smoothing out the shoulders and torso. Bright light glared out from behind.

"Emma, welcome," said Abigail. She stepped back into the light, letting the lamps overhead shine onto her face. "Sorry for the theatrics. We have a lot of artists who contributed to chapel design."

"It's fine," said Emma, moving quickly out of the somewhat unnerving atrium. The brightly lit main worship hall expanded before her, arrayed to focus upon the altar placed in the center. A vague, ephemeral figure stood atop it, carved out of white marble with small mementos scattered about its base. A basket of apples held the place of honor, before the statue's feet. Steps led down the center towards the figure, with long aisles of dark polywood pews stretching beside.

"Is that Her?" asked Emma, looking down the steps at the marble sculpture.

"It's the best we can accomplish," said Abigail. "The Goddess is mysterious. She stays out of sight of those who would portray her, and many girls who received visions see her but cannot remember, or are told not to speak of her appearance."

"Do a lot of girls have visions?" asked Emma.

"Some," said Abigail. She led the way down the steps. Her costume's heavy boots clunked as she walked, but somehow the sound did not seem disrespectful. "Most don't though."

"Oh," said Emma. "How do you get a vision?"

"You have to visit the Ribbon," said Abigail. "Most of us, at least. Homura was different, of course."

"Homura's the prophet, right?" asked Emma.

"That's right," said Abigail. She paused in front of the altar. "Have you learned anything about the Cult since we last talked?"

"No, this is actually a bit of snap decision," said Emma, blushing as she looked away. "But, you know, you hear things from others during training. Nothing concrete though, and lots of contradictions."

"I see," said Abigail. She reached forward and took Emma by the hand. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about. The Goddess cares about everyone, even if they don't really know what they're getting into. Goddess knows I didn't when I joined."

Emma bit her lip, but nodded. "Thanks. It's just, I just told my friends, from Earth, and they didn't really get it, and I still have to tell the others, and I keep thinking that maybe I should have waited longer."

"I'm not going to push you into this, Emma," said Abigail. "It's a big decision. If you need more time, then you need more time. We can just have a cup of coffee and talk if you want."

A long moment passed while Emma tried to gather her nerve. She failed.

"I… I'd like that, actually," said Emma. She gulped. "I…"

"Shh, don't worry about it," said Abigail with a smile. She pulled Emma towards a side door, letting go of Emma's hands once she started to follow. "Come on, I snuck some specialty coffee beans in with my stuff. Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Uh, alright?" said Emma. "Why would anyone care?"

"Oh, it's not that I think I'll get into trouble," said Abigail. "It's just that anyone who's been in the 12th for awhile knows that I get really good coffee." She opened the door. "Come in, this is my office."

The interior was decorated much like the worship hall. Brightly lit, with dark polywood for furniture and accents. Emma took a seat in front of Abigail's desk, while the chaplain went about grinding the coffee beans, pulling the equipment from a hideaway disguised as a standing set of drawers.

"That smells really good," said Emma, leaning forward as Abigail opened the container of beans.

"Thanks," said Abigail, grinning as she scooped the beans into the grinder. "Specialty stuff I got from our last station. Gene-modded coffee beans can grow in a lotta places, but the closer the conditions are to Earth, the better."

"I see," said Emma. She licked her lips and folded her hands. Dammit, this shouldn't be so difficult to do. She could lead football teams when she was twelve, for the Goddess's sake! This was nothing compared to that.

"I don't mean to pry, but how have things been?" asked Abigail.

"It's been… tough," said Emma. She looked down at the top of the desk, tracing a pattern on top with a finger. "I nearly died."

"Really? Are you alright?" asked Abigail, pausing as she poured hot water into a flask that the grounds had been poured into.

"Yeah, the MHD checked me out," said Emma, waving a hand. "Jessica, the psychiatrist who evaluated me, said I should be fine."

"Well that's good," said Abigail. "Do you… want to talk about it?"

"I… I guess should," said Emma. She kept tracing loops and circles on the table. "It was… it was pretty bad, actually. I was retreating in an IFV, but it got hit by an AT missile or something. The vehicle flipped and I remember seeing the bulkhead fly towards me. Everything was quiet when I woke up and crawled out of the wreckage. I…"

Emma fell silent. Abigail placed a mug of coffee in front of her.

"Thanks," said Emma. She took a sip of the coffee, then smiled. "It's good."

"Spared no expense," said Abigail quietly. "What happened next?"

"I… well, I decided to join the Cult then," said Emma. She watched the steam wafting out of her mug. "I'm not sure it was a rational decision, honestly. I was probably pretty high on neurotransmitters."

"Did you reason it out?"

"I did. I remember thinking that there was no chance I'd have survived the wreck. The squid should have just shot the IFV again, to make sure I was dead. But they forgot or something, and I decided that this had to be the work of the Goddess, since there's no way that something else didn't intervene to save my life."

"Why don't you think that's rational?"

"Well, there's lots of things that could have distracted them," said Emma. She took another sip. "The rest of the forces that were being encircled could have hit the line, or maybe another MG squad attacked. I dunno."

"Perhaps," said Abigail. "Believe what you will about it, I guess. My interpretation of the Goddess is that she doesn't sit idly by, and that she intervenes whenever she can. There's a lot of people who disagree with me, but for what it's worth, I'd believe the Goddess saved you."

"I guess," said Emma. She blew on the top of her mug, watching the steam blast away, then slowly return to its original patterns. "Well I kept walking, you know. I remember feeling really happy. Then I… Then I found the position my platoon had been holding, at the time. They'd… they'd all died."

Abigail winced and took Emma's hand again. "That must have been difficult. I'm sorry."

"Thanks," said Emma. She glanced up at Abigail. "Have you… have you ever lost a platoon like that?"

Abigail nodded. "I've had worse, actually. When I contracted, the war was going really badly. I watched as entire battalions were consumed. It was horrifying. I don't know how I survived."

"How do you stay happy?" asked Emma. She sniffed. "I— just remembering it, finding their bodies—."

"The way Kyouko-sama teaches it," said Abigail. "We need to make sure we live our lives protecting humanity. Take from that what you will. For me, it means that I have to keep my gem clean and move forward, not dwell on the past. I made a lot of mistakes as a greenie, but I learned from them. It's going to be better, Emma, I promise."

Emma gulped. "It's so hard though. I'm not— I'm not good enough for this yet."

"But you will be," said Abigail. "Just stay alive."

"I… I guess," said Emma. She looked at Abigail directly. "It's— it's hard to do."

"Yeah," said Abigail, nodding. "There's a lot of ways to cope. For me, I take solace in the Goddess. I just have to do my duty as best I can, and when the time comes, I'll be alright. But I've been in the rear for a while, not on the line like you, so…"

"Take that with a grain of salt, right?" asked Emma, smiling slightly. "Yeah, it's… it's been different, down in the redoubt. They take a lot of steps to make it comfy."

"That they do," said Abigail. She let go of Emma's hand and raised her mug. "Been down to the chuen yet?"

"Yeah, I went and had lunch with a friend," said Emma. "And I've been to the theater, and the library."

"Oooh, the library is cool," said Abigail. "It keeps going and going…"

"Yeah, it made Ayane's arms itch," said Emma, grinning. "She's a flier, but even so."

Abigail shook her head, smiling as well. "You can put a flier underground, but you can't remove her instincts. That was when you told her? Ayane's from Earth, right?"

Emma nodded. "She doesn't really believe," said Emma. "I… well, I didn't try very hard either. She wanted to know about the vision I thought I had, but…"

"You think you had a vision?" asked Abigail.

"Well, I'm not sure," said Emma. "I told you I almost died. What happened was that I found my platoon and… and I think I let my gem go critical."

Abigail sucked in a breath. "And then?"

"I fell asleep. I… I don't know what happened, not really. I woke up just as my gem started to collapse. I ended up using all my cubes to survive. It hurt. A lot."

"Oh Emma," said Abigail. She rounded the desk and gave Emma a hug. "You're very strong to have made it through that. Goddess knows I would have faded then."

"I dunno, you're pretty old," quipped Emma, letting herself lean into the hug. It was a nice hug.

"Oi, hush," said Abigail, rapping her knuckles against Emma's head. She held the hug a moment more, then returned to her seat. "Do you still want to talk about it?"

"It helps a little, actually," said Emma. She smiled at Abigail, genuinely. "It's easier talking to you than Jessica. Dunno why that is."

"Well, I suspect it's because you know that they're there to try and evaluate you," said Abigail, shrugging. "I always had an easier time talking to my CO rather than the psychiatrists. If you want to continue then…?"

"Ah, well, actually, there's not much more," said Emma. "All I remember is a dream. It's faded a lot, and I can't remember much, but…"

"…But?"

"You're… you're going to laugh at me, but the thing I remember the best is… is being tucked in, and feeling really, properly safe for the first time since I contracted.," said Emma. "It was… it was really nice."

Abigail leaned back in her chair and whistled. "Wow," she said. "…Wow. I… I don't know what to say to that."

"You believe me?"

"Well of course," said Abigail. "I mean, it's the first time I've heard of it, and visions only are supposed to happen at the Ribbon, back on Earth. But my friend died seeing something, so I can believe you nearly dying and seeing something."

Emma smiled again. "Thanks for believing me," she said. "It felt real. Maybe it was just my gem making me hallucinate, but I think it was definitely real. And after something like that, I can't ignore it. That's the reason I'm still here."

"Then what's stopping you?" asked Abigail. "I mean, don't get me wrong, this is still your decision, but if that's what's convinced you, then why not go for it?"

Emma frowned at her coffee. "I'm… not sure. There's no reason to be. I've faced down worse."

"Well, maybe it's because you're a footballer," reasoned Abigail. "You're used to facing things in the field that you can outrun or outfight. This isn't something you can deal with that way."

"I guess," said Emma. She sipped her coffee thoughtfully. "I never thought of it that way. Different tactics for different missions, right?"

"Exactly," said Abigail with a nod. "It's different for everyone. I find that it's best to try and think through what's bothering you, and figure out the mental block."

Emma swirled her coffee in its mug and considered this. She should probably try harder to face things in her social life, it sounded like. Anna's advice about Ingrid had actually basically told Emma to confront the situation thoughtfully.

"So, for the Cult…," said Emma slowly. "What bothers me is… is…"

Emma stared at the coffee in her mug as she mulled things over. The surface of the coffee had small bubbles strung along the edges, clinging to the interior of the mug even though Emma had drunk some of the contents.

"…I think, my problem is that I'm still afraid," said Emma. She looked up at Abigail. "I don't know what will happen if I join the Cult, and it scares me."

Abigail nodded. "The future is unknowable and frightening," she agreed.

"But…," continued Emma, thinking aloud. "But… the best way to confront this… is to move forward, isn't it? To see what happens and adapt accordingly?"

"On the battlefield, sometimes, yes," said Abigail cautiously.

Emma looked back down at her coffee. She swirled the contents in a circle, watching the bubbles race along the sides. She stopped and placed the mug on the table, leaning forward onto the table and still watching the bubbles. Slowly, the spinning bubbles span into the center of the mug, clumping into a ball.

If Emma never joined the Cult, she'd be stuck here, at this point, forever. Hovering on the edge between committing to something she believed in and effectively pretending it didn't exist. There was no turning back from the Goddess, not after everything she'd seen and done. Nothing left to do, in the end, except move forward.

"I've decided," said Emma, standing up. "I'm going to join the Cult."

Abigail seemed slightly taken aback, but rallied quickly. "Are you sure?" she asked. "This is a big step."

"I'm sure," said Emma. A sense of finality and elation began to spread through her chest, starting in the middle and bubbling outwards. Unbidden, a grin sprang to her lips. She believed in the Goddess, and She deserved Emma's gratitude and worship. It felt good to be committing to that. Properly, and without hesitation.

"Alright then," said Abigail. She breathed out and stood up, gathering the shawl around her. A moment later, she smiled at Emma and stepped around the desk. "Come on, we need to do this in the worship hall."

The lights turned down as Abigail entered the hall, Emma following close behind. The statue of the Goddess shone brightly as the lights shifted to focus upon it. Abigail stood before the statue, gazing up at the obscured face proudly and confidently.

"Blessed Lady," she began. "We come before you today to welcome a sister into the Cult founded in your name." She turned, still standing before the altar, and gestured towards Emma. "Her name is Emma Sinclair, and is from Earth. Emma, could you please transform?"

Emma licked her lips, jitters coming on despite her decisiveness earlier, and stepped forward into the ring of light around the altar. Light sparked from the ring on her finger, billowing out in a cloud. As Emma passed through, the weight of her costume's armor settled itself onto her body. She brushed her hair back, letting the earring her soul gem changed into glint in the light shining upon the statue.

Abigail knelt before the altar briefly, picking up an apple from the basket standing in front of it. She held it up to the statue.

"My Lady, while we know little of your nature and your being, we know one thing in certainty," said Abigail. The apple shone in the light, a radiant and bright red that almost glowed. "We know that you save us. Each and every magical girl, when her time comes, may count upon your presence to bring her out of despair and into the light, so that she may pass on and leave her suffering behind her."

Abigail bit into the apple with a crunch. She chewed and swallowed. "This apple, I say, shall represent my wish, and the wishes of all magical girls. I have taken my bite from this apple already, and stand before you as a torch bearer, trusting in you and performing my duty to save and protect humanity from those that seek its end."

Abigail turned to Emma, and held out the apple. "Emma Sinclair," she said. "You too, have made a wish. Will you partake of this fruit? Will you pledge yourself to the service of humanity, in the darkest of nights and in the most blinding of days? Will you trust in the Goddess on high, to save you in the end?"

Emma blinked. She realized she was crying. Memories sprang up. Memories of Anna, who looked so sad, but somehow proud, when Emma showed her the gem that was Emma's soul. Memories of her platoon, dead and strewn about their position, defiant to the last. Memories of Tracy Geyeller, and her fear as she lay in the dirt, believing she was going to die.

Much had passed, and still more lay ahead. Emma didn't know what would happen, nor did she know how she would react. There were few things that were certain. But, whatever happened, Emma knew that she would fulfill her duty. That she would make the best of the situation given to her, so as not to let anyone down. And that when, inevitably, Emma one day died, she would be able to rest in safety and peace, forever.

"I will."

Emma took the apple. Without hesitation, she bit into it. The flesh was crisp and sweet. Juice ran down it and onto her gloves.

Abigail nodded at her, and turned back to the statue. "My Lady, I now ask for your blessing. Since we still live, I ask that your wisdom light Emma's path, so that she may not despair, but serve and protect humanity for all the days that are allotted to her. Since all must eventually pass, I ask that your mercy and grace catch Emma as she falls, so that she may pass with a glad heart, sure of purpose and free of fear."

Abigail paused, as if listening to the Goddess whisper in her ear. Then she turned, smiling, to Emma.

"Welcome, Emma Sinclair, to the Cult of Hope. May kindness and mercy follow you all the days of your life, and may you dwell in the light of the Goddess forever."