December 2002

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

"Well that was awkward." She set her coffee down on the desk beside the stack of charts she was working her way through.
"What was?" Luka responded without glancing up from his charts.
"Just walked in on Abby and Carter in the lounge having some secret conversation, because everyone shut up when I walked in."
"Oh yeah? I'm sure it was nothing."
"Yeah, I'm sure." She keeps writing in her chart, but can't help but think about the situation. Luka looked up, noticing that she was aimlessly staring at her chart.
"What do you see in him anyway?"
"What?" She quickly looked up at him.
"Carter. What do you see in him?"
"Why do you care what I see in him?"
"Because I think you can do better than him."
"What is that supposed to mean, Luka?" He paused for a second, the two still staring at each other.
"You love him?" For a few seconds, Ally doesn't say anything. Trying to avoid the question, she looked back down to her chart and continued writing.
"Do you love him?" He repeated his question, a little louder this time. Throwing her pen down on the chart she crossed her arms.
"How is this any of your business?"
"It's been the business of every person in this ER from the moment you walked back in."
Staring back at him, trying not to get angry, she took a deep breath and licked her lips.
"Yes. I do. I wouldn't have come back if I didn't."
Before either of them could say anything more, they heard laughing coming from the door of the lounge. Abby and Carter emerged from the lounge laughing, Abby's hand resting on his bicep. Ally watches until they've both walked away, picking her pen back up she keeps writing in her chart ignoring the feeling of Luka's eyes on her. When she didn't look up, he grabbed his charts and started to walk to the curtain area.
"I hope you made the right choice Ally."

There's a shadow hanging over me

A few hours and 2 traumas later, Ally finally had her chance to sit down at the desk. Sinking into the chair, she put her feet up on a shelf and leaned back.
"I'm not moving from this chair for the rest of the night."
Haleh looked over at the visibly tired doctor. "With only you and Kovac on? Good luck with that one honey."
"Let me dream, woman." She sighed, closing her eyes.
"Doctor Ross, nice to see that the ER is keeping you busy. I've always said that you were too pretty to be working down here in the trenches."
Groaning, Ally sat up slowly turning to face the newly added voice. Smiling sarcastically she rolled her eyes.
"Doctor Romano, how can I help you?"
"If you've got free time down here, I'm sure I could find you something to keep you busy Allison."
"I've got more than enough work down here Robert." She grabbed a chart, flipping through it. She could feel Romano moving closer to her, so she stood walking to the board to get some distance between them.
"I'm sure you do, but it's definitely not the type of work that you should be doing."
"And what type of work do you suggest?" She replied mindlessly, staring at the board intently.
"A job that honours your body just as much as your mind."
"I'd be careful about what your next suggestion is Doctor Romano."
Turning from her spot, she looked over at John who was now walking her way.
"Nice to see you too Doctor Carter. I was just giving your girlfriend here some job advice."
"I heard, but I think she's doing well enough without it."
"At least that makes one of us." Turning back in the direction he came from, he headed for the elevators without another word. Ally spoke without turning away from the board.
"I thought you were off at 7?"
"Chief resident never gets off on time. You're welcome with Romano by the way."
"I can handle myself, John."
He walks closer to her, leaning against the desk beside her.
"Against the lovely Romano?"
She grabbed her chart and moved to another spot at the desk. John watched her with a cocked head.
"Like I said, I can take care of myself. I'm a big girl."
"What, I'm not allowed to defend you when creepy surgeons are hitting on you?"
She finished writing her last line in the chart, then grabbed the stack she was previously working on.
"So I should defend you when pretty nurses are hitting on you?"
She turned with her stack of charts and walked away, heading to an open suture room.
He turned, looking at Haleh who was standing beside him now. She shook her head slowly, giving him a look that he knew not to question.
"Carter, I thought you were done?"
John turned to face Luka as he was approaching him. "Just finishing up now, actually."
Luka grabbed the chart from his hands, "then let me take that from you."
John turned, looking at the suture room that Ally had disappeared into.
"Have a good night," Kovac said rather pointedly.
Carter turned to look at him, then headed to the suture room.
Haleh looked over at Kovac watching Carter walk to the room Ally was in.
"Boy, you better watch what you're doing."
"I know exactly what I'm doing."
"No, I don't think you do. They were together for 4 years."
"Were."
"You have no idea Luka."
"I have enough of one." With that, he walked away.

Now I need a place to hide away

John walked into the suture room where Ally had spread her charts out over the gurney scribbling madly in them. Even though she heard him walk in, she didn't acknowledge him.
"What was that about back there?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about Carter."
He walked over to her, sitting on the gurney in front of her blocking her way to the charts. "What's with the attitude today?"
She looked up at him annoyed, "it's been a long day okay?"
He held her gaze momentarily, and then dropped his head staring at his hands.
"What time are you off at?"
"Midnight."
"Do you want me to pick you up?"
"No, I can take the L."
He stared down at her, but she wasn't meeting his gaze. "Alright… I guess I'll see you at midnight then?"
"Yeah. Have a good night."
He leaned down to kiss her, but she turned her head forcing her cheek on him. He pulled back, sighing and shaking his head lightly.
"You too."
He got up off the gurney and headed towards the door, she looked up watching him go, but couldn't restrain herself as he got to the door.
"Is there something going on with you and Abby?"
He stopped, turning to face her.
"What?"
"You and Abby. I saw you guys earlier and I mentioned something to Luka and the response I got made me wonder. Is there?"
"No. I mean, there was once, but not anymore. And what did Luka say anyway?"
The expression on her face turned to one of hurt before she dropped her head to look at her hands. He walked back over to her resuming the spot he was in just moments before.
"You don't have to worry about it. I'm with you 100%. It's always been you, you know that."
She didn't look up at him, so he put his hand under her chin pulling it up to look at him.
"You've got me."
"It's not you I'm worried about."
"What did Luka say to you?"
"Nothing, don't worry about it."
She stood up, going to grab her charts before her grabbed her arm.
"Hey. What did he say?"
"He asked me what I saw in you, cause he thinks I can do better."
John's face stiffened, but he maintained his grip on her arm.
"Do you think you could do better?"
She paused, looking over his face. She could see the anger that was rising about the fact someone was trying to meddle in his relationship and that should have been enough to convince her, but there was still that doubt underneath it that was nagging at her.
"No. It's always been you."
He released his grip on her arm and moved forward closing the space between them. Leaning down, he kissed her lightly, then rested his forehead against hers.
"You have nothing to worry about. Don't listen to Luka."
She nodded, wrapping her arms around his waist. He returned the gesture and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her head.

Oh, I believe, in yesterday.