Chapter 7
"Love who you love while you have them. That's all you can do. Let them go when you must. If you know how to love, you'll never run out."
― Ann Brashares, My Name Is Memory
Bella's POV
There is a faint thrumming surrounding me, my eyes lay heavy unable to open fully. There are many voice but none of which I recognize. They call to me in panic. Has it been hours since I was last aware? It feels like more. Nothing to challenge or pin point how much time has passed. The thrumming gets increasingly louder as the time passes. The question of being dead passes through my mind. More hours... or maybe even days pass. I feel my body floating like a feather, everything lightens, and I feel as if I could reach out and touch the blinding hot light. I try; my hand is front of me stretching towards it. My fingers caress the light, it shatters and once again everything turns black but there is a difference this time my eyes are completely open.
I take a deep breath in, the taste and smell of lemon and honey fills my nostrils and tickles my taste-buds. The lemon isn't as over-powering as that crap Claire cleaned with, and this smell is distinctly different from the musty stench that pervaded every corner of the attic. It is pleasant and homely. I must not be up in the attic or even in that house anymore. I almost feel like making a Wizard of Oz joke about not being in Kansas anymore. As I think more about my surroundings I sense the rest of my body awaking. My muscles feel heavy from lack of use.
My body flies up from the laying position I was in. I finally realize fully, consciously, this smell isn't right and when I look around I am not in an attic at all. Beneath me is a firm yet soft bed; along the walls is a faint pattern. I slowly begin to realize that this is not my room at all, where the hell, am I? None of this furniture belongs to me. My clothing has vanished and I am laying in an older-style nightgown, I would not normally be caught dead in. My heart begins to pick up speed and into a frantic rhythm. I entwine my hands together and cover my face with them, to keep from screaming. I feel a realization dawning on me. I should have gone crashing against the mirror not through it, this cannot be happening, this is impossible. I must have gone mad or something. There has to be a logical explanation. The door of the bedroom swings open and two women who look like they are dressed like the characters of "Anne of Green Gables" come rushing in.
"Isabella lay your head back down this instant you could lose consciousness again." I stare at her confused. The other woman grabs my arm forcefully and pulls be back down to a lying position, she then tightens the covers to the point of barely being able to breathe. I try to open my mouth but before I can protest this woman gives me a pointed look.
"You took quite a tumble today; I thought we may just loose you, so you need to get some sleep. I do not want to see you trying to get out of this bed again, until the doctor oks it." The other woman barks at me. I nod my head and they leave the room. I try to go back to sleep but my body feels like a stripped live wire. I get bored quickly and I can't for the life of me tell what time it is, how long I have been in here, or how long since those women were here. I contemplate trying to get up again, I push against the sheets holding my down, and they won't budge. I am either really weak or they are just that tightly wound around me. After a while sleep once again takes over me. It is the beginning of twilight when I re-awaken.
I am awake once again. I hear a tapping noise coming from outside my window. Pushing the sheet aside with all my might they come loose enough to wiggle out and investigate the tapping noise. When I stand on my feet with all my weight I feel light headed and I struggle to move towards the window. At last I reach the window and pull back the curtain, like ripping off a band-aid, quickly. I stand bewildered as I look out the window. Edward is crouched in a tree plucking rocks at my window. I steady myself against the window pane. It can't be him, can it? Have I really gone back to the time when Edward was human? If so, does that mean that I can change the past and help him! I don't care I am happy just to see him happy. I thrust open the window. I am greeted with a sideways smirk and another rock throng from his hand; it lands with a plunking sound on the floor beside me.
"I did not think you were going to wake up?" He climbs from the tree and slides through my window.
"How long have I been out?" I reply.
"On and off for three days."
"How are you so sure Edward?" His beautiful pale yet sun-kissed skin turns beet red.
"I may have climbed up to your window a few times." He steps back a bit. "But I swear I did not see anything that would hurt your reputation and I swear no one saw me climb up." He lowers his head in shame and shuffles his weight from one foot to the other several times. "I hope you are not angry with me. I just... I was worried about you and I know I should not be because I am supposed to be with her but I feel simply euphoric with you instead of the misery I feel with Tanya." He rambles on, his eyes plead at me for forgiveness. I should, just like any sane, rational, thinking human should be disgusted or embarrassed after hearing someone confess to watching them while they were asleep but for some strange reason I find that I do not feel like so. I must have hit my head harder than I thought.
"I suppose that one can forgive another but if you are suppose to be with Tanya why don't you stalk her like a love sick fool?" I really don't get what I going on here. I oddly feel jealous of Tanya even if he is here with me, he is still with her.
"You know that I cannot stand the very thought of her let alone want to look at her. I get it, I am engaged I should be happy and elated at the very thought of touching her hand and kissing her in the park while everyone walks by but I don't want to be with her. Her stupid father just happens to be friends with my stupid father and now I have no choice." He raises his hands in defeat. "That is why I will join the war." My face scrunches up at his last words. War what war? I am getting more confused by the minute.
"What day is it Edward?" Now he looks at me confused and smirks at me.
"It is the thirtieth of June."
"No, no I mean what year?" The confusion and smile disappear into that fear and worried look I am so use to from him.
"Are you sure you are of sound mind Isabella. You should know what year it is did you forget after you hit your head?"
"I think so because I don't what year it is and I don't remember you telling me that you did not like Tanya. I can't seem to remember much of anything at the moment." He face turns into dread as I go on. "But please don't tell anyone."
"Why shouldn't I tell someone, I mean that..." He concentrates on a random spot on the wall as he thinks. His eyes look a little wetter than what I would consider normal. "Um what if it got worse or you went to sleep tonight and you didn't wake up." His eyes go wide. "What it would do to my heart to know of such a possibility and not prevent it. Isabella you have to stay with me, I can't relish the thought of not seeing you ever. And if it is thing I do I will find a way to marry you and not the wicked witch... I mean Tanya. I should not be calling her names, it is not like this is her plan or anything, hey maybe she is just as disgusted with me as I am with her." My heart melts a little at his confession, I don't even know him. Well I guess the person who I have somehow embodied does. I could love him too; it feels like there could be nothing else.
"Just please don't tell, I'll be fine. I know it." He lets out a sigh.
"For now I will not tell anyone but I will not make any promises about the future if you appear to get worse."
