Shout-outs: CookiesForMe, Frogster, xXxStarGazerxXx, Special Agent Baker, and Donnamour1969. . . thanks for reviewing guys, made my day.
Author's Note:
Well, I'm posting this a bit early. Work is starting in less than eight days, and I want to have this story completed before I get too caught up in real life. Oh, and one more thing. . . one song that got me through the spoilers and everything else back in March-May was "See You Again" by Carrie Underwood. It's a really pretty song and it screamed Jane/Lisbon for what I thought was going to happen (and did happen in 4x23), check it out!
Disclaimer:
I don't own the characters, and I'm not affiliated with anybody who does. I just play in Bruno's sandbox, it's nice there.
Chapter 7
I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed. . .
In My Place, Coldplay_
Jane watched from a dark corner as Lisbon left the interrogation room and leaned up against the glass, clutching the file to her chest as she took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes. He could tell that she was shaken. . . hurt even from Lorelei's revelation.
Guilt filled him to his very core and he wanted nothing more than to throttle Lorelei Martins for her calculated slip of the tongue. He could have gone the rest of his life without telling Lisbon what had happened between him and the cocktail waitress in the dingy hotel room earlier that week. He had wanted to pick up right where they had left off, and now that she knew what he had done, he was almost positive that she would never look at him the same way again.
He sighed deeply and closed his own eyes as his self-loathing returned full force. He was seriously beginning to wish that Vegas had never happened, aside from Lorelei's arrest, the whole thing had turned out to be a complete and utter waste of time.
When he opened his eyes again, Lisbon had disappeared from his view. She had probably sought refuge in her office, locking the door and closing the blinds behind her. Today, she would want nothing to do with him. And he couldn't blame her. . . not after everything he had put her through in the past six months, and Lorelei too.
.
Lisbon felt completely and utterly numb as she tried to process what had exactly happened. He had slept with her. . . he had slept with the doe-eyed, pouty, tanned, husky-voiced Siren. And she had called him lover, a term that indicated their affair had been going on for a long time.
Her blood ran cold at this thought, and she truly hoped that wasn't the case because it would make everything she had allowed herself to go through in the past six months so terribly foolish. She already despised herself as it was for feeling the way that she had while he was away, she couldn't bear to add salt to the wound.
She took a deep breath and tried to clear her mind, but it was a tangled mixture of love yous, lover, and the way her whole arm and hand had tingled when Jane had touched her in the desert. She was a mess, and the thing that tripped her the most was she knew that if he asked her – even if it were in the wrong way – she'd forgive him, even this.
.
"Stop pacing or you're going to wear a hole in the floor," Cho said to Jane without looking up from the novel he was reading.
"She's been in there for hours Cho," Jane replied. "With the door locked—"
"She doesn't want you to bother her right now," Cho answered, not really wanting to get involved with Jane and Lisbon's complicated issues. But he knew that if he didn't then things were going to be miserable for everybody on the team. He marked his place and sighed, "Listen Jane, you know it's going to take a lot more than fancy coffee drinks and flowery apologizes to make it up to her this time, right?"
"Of course I know that!" Jane replied. "But I just need to talk to her and try to make her understand—"
"Just give her some time and she'll come around," Cho said. "She always does. But if you want to make it up to her, it's going to take a lot more than fancy coffee drinks and flowery apologizes."
"You said that."
Cho grunted and turned back to his book, then looked up at Jane again. "Listen Jane, I'm not too happy with you at the moment, but I'm still going to give you some advice. You better fix things though. See, it won't bother me so much if you two are at odds, but Rigsby and Van Pelt are the sensitive type though, and they both really hate it when you and Lisbon aren't on speaking terms."
Jane sighed. "I fully intend to fix things Cho. I just don't know how to exactly. . . not this time around. I did some pretty awful things."
Cho smiled inspite of himself, forgetting to be angry with the consultant for a moment. "You'll think of something, you always do."
Jane was about to reply when Lisbon's office door opened and the petite agent stepped out of it, avoiding his gaze.
"Where's Rigsby and Van Pelt?" She asked.
"Rigsby went to Fresno to be with Sarah and Benjamin—'
"And I was just getting some coffee," Van Pelt said, coming out of the break room with a steaming cup in her hand. "There's a fresh pot if you'd like any Boss."
Lisbon shook her head. "I'm fine, really. I just wanted you and Cho to know that you could go home for the evening. We really don't have anything left to do today except ship Martins off with the FBI, and I don't mind sticking around to do that."
"I could just stay—" Cho started.
"No!" Lisbon replied. "Really, it'll be fine. . . you did a good job today, you deserve a break."
"You do too," Cho said, giving her a brotherly look.
"I'll rest when this whole mess is behind us," Lisbon said. "Don't worry about me."
"Cho's right, you really should get some rest. You're not looking so hot tonight," Jane interjected.
Lisbon looked at him wearily "Don't you have anywhere else to be Jane?"
Jane shook his head. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm afraid that I don't have anywhere else to be right now. So, you're stuck with me for the time being."
Lisbon sighed as she turned to look at Van Pelt and Cho. "I'll see you two tomorrow, okay? Enjoy your evening."
Van Pelt turned to look at Cho. "What's going on—?"
Cho shrugged, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "I don't know. Whatever it is, it's between Jane and the Boss."
The red-head looked at Jane, a questioning look in her eyes.
"Don't worry about it Grace," he said, his own eyes on Lisbon's office. "I'm going to take care of it."
"Good luck," Cho said sincerely. "You ready Van Pelt? I'll walk you to your car if you are."
Van Pelt nodded, grabbing her purse and coffee mug. "Thanks. You'll be here tomorrow Jane?"
"I'll be here tomorrow," he assured her, offering a friendly smile.
"See you then," she said, giving a small wave as she followed Cho to the elevator.
When he was alone, Jane slowly made his way to Lisbon's office. He stopped in front of the door, hesitating a moment before raising his hand and knocking on the glass.
"Go away Jane!" She yelled.
"We need to talk," he said.
"Guess what, I don't want to talk to you right now!" Lisbon replied. "I really wish that you'd just respect that and go hide in your attic or something."
"Listen, I know you're angry with me and I don't blame you, right now I'm pretty angry with myself. . . I just—" he paused for a moment, fighting off the desperation in his voice. "I just wish that we could talk. . . that you'd let me make the past six months up to you—"
Lisbon yanked the door open and looked at him sadly. "Just go away Jane. I-I really can't deal with you right now."
Jane rubbed a hand across his face, all he wanted to do was reach out and touch her. But he didn't dare, not with things so strained between them. "Listen to me. . . just for one second, please—"
"No," Lisbon answered, shaking her head and avoiding his eyes as she started to close the door. "Not right now."
"Then when?" Jane asked.
"I-I don't know," she replied. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah, well I am too," he replied quietly as the door shut in his face. "You don't know how sorry I am."
.
Lisbon opened the blinds halfway and watched as Jane retreated to the break room, a slump in his shoulders. She wanted so badly to follow him and let him explain everything to her in the way only he could. But she couldn't bring herself to do it, because there was another part of her that just didn't want to know. She was a strong woman, but even the strongest of women got to a point where they couldn't handle being hurt anymore.
Eventually, she'd be able to face it. Eventually she would face it, because she had never run too far away from Jane before. She just needed a little bit of time to process everything.
After everything Jane had put her through, she didn't think that it was too much to ask.
.
Jane stared at the glass door for a couple of minutes before he turned around and started for the break room to make some tea. He searched around in the cabinets for a few minutes and found a crushed box of Earl Gray tea buried underneath a large bag of coffee.
He looked at it for a second and shoved it back in the cabinet; he had suddenly lost his desire to make tea. His eyes found Lisbon's office and he sighed, all he was really thinking about (aside from cracking Lorelei and finally finding Red John) was a way to make everything up to Lisbon.
It was easy. He had done it dozens of times before.
TBC. . .
Author's Note II:
So dear readers, we're coming to a close on this story. Just one more chapter left, and it'll be done. After this, I need to write something completely and utterly fluffy. I think I'm becoming depressed from all the angst that I've been writing/seeing in real life. I was watching Friends and 3rd Rock From the Sun yesterday, and laughing. . . I always forget how good it feels to laugh. Then last night, I was watching the Katherine Hepburn version of Little Women on TMC. We were poking fun at it and having a good time.
So, after this story wraps, I'm going to write something so completely light-hearted, I might have to put a warning on it: IT'S SO FLUFFY, I'M GONNA DIE!
Anyways, I love hearing your feedback. Pretty please press on the little button and tell me what you think!
Love,
Holly, 8/18/2012_
