Oookay! I'm so sorry, I suddenly stopped updating, but school has been really busy and if my grades aren't good, I won't be able to write at all anymore!
Please enjoy.
Kaoru's POV
School was finally over. It seemed like today was going extremely slowly and on top of that Hikaru hadn't even made the effort to talk to me. At all. I would lie if I said it didn't bother me, since it did to a degree that made want to slam pieces of furniture against the wall or any surface for that matter. Of course, Haruhi noticed this and told me to just go home, that she would tell Kyoya-senpai that I wasn't feeling well and that a puking Kaoru would definitely not bring much profit.
The last days, maybe even already week, I have been nothing but a depressed wreck and I wanted to cry, like all the time. But now I just feel angry and really pissed. Am I pregnant or why do I have these insane mood swings? Everyone always stamped me as the more mature and calm twin, but if I'm entirely honest, I feel like no one changed their mood more often than I did.
"Kaoru-san or Hikaru-san, you aren't going to the Host Club today?" A few random girls asked as I walked passed them. I just flashed them a smile, told them I was Kaoru and that Hikaru would for a change host alone, since I wasn't feeling really, which was actually true. But I know that Kyoya-senpai already calculated the risk, while talking to Haruhi, of only one Hitachiin being there today would hurt the business. However, I guess I and Hika make so much income Kyoya-senpai doesn't mind and this actually gives Hikaru the opportunity to play the whole 'my-brother-is-sick-and-I-am-worried-sick' act.
I called my chauffeur and just told him to drive me home. I was feeling really tired and even though we had a Geography exam the next day, I just relaxed and emptied my head from all thoughts, or at least I tried. I just leaned back and closed my eyes, hoping this confusion would just go away.
"Young master, you are home fairly early today? Has your club activities been cancelled?" A maid questioned as she opened main gates for me. I just shrugged it off and strode into the kitchen, where the chef was already preparing necessary ingredients for supper. Man, I guess, I have never realized that these people seriously cook and clean almost nonstop 24/7. That must be a pretty exhausting life if you ask me.
"Oh, the young master Hitachiin has already returned. What a delightful day, why aren't you outside with your friends or with your brother for that matter?" The chef asked, while commanding some servants around and chopping some onions, which he delicately threw into something, which looked like some very prestigious soup.
"I haven't been feeling well, since yesterday. Probably comes from the lack of food and sleep. I will leave you to your work. I just got in to take an apple to sooth my hunger. Also, I wish not to eat dinner tonight, so please tell my brother when he returns."
The chef nodded and his attention went back to the fresh salmon on the table, waiting to be killed and then chopped into pieces. I just closed the door shut, biting, rather aggressively, into my apple a few drops of apple juice sprinkling out of the fruit in the process. I went up to my room to take my pyjamas and all I needed for living in a guest room. Maybe, I should later tell my parents and I guess also Hikaru that I want a separate room.
I knew they would be surprised, but better than me snapping, turning insane and them finding out that I love my own identical twin. I finished only half of the apple before throwing it into the trash, flopping down on my bed, looking outside.
It was still snowing.
Snow is so pure and has that really angelic vibe around itself. I like snow. It's, unlike me, clean and so soft, that it always brings a smile on my face to bloom. The little snowflakes just fell down one by one on the glass window, lulling me to sleep. I felt my eyelids grow heavier and despite a voice in my head yelling that this was no time to sleep, I drifted off to a peaceful sleep with wonderful dreams awaiting me.
For the first time in 3 months.
…
My body tensed as I felt my bed stir a little, perhaps it was even shaking. My eyes ripped open as I felt something warm enveloping me. Wasn't I covered in my blanket? How warmer could it got? I turned and my eyes widened in shock.
"Hik..aru…," I managed to stammer out, looking wide-eyed at my twin brother, who held me against his chest and snuggled his head into my red locks. I could hear his calm breathing as he tightened the embrace even more. It was a little uncomfortable, but more than that it was delightfully wonderful.
"Kao… I can't sleep without you," He admitted, looking at me with is shinning gold eyes. I looked at him as he stroked my cheek in the attempt to soothe me, to make to forgive him. And maybe it was the sleepiness, but I just smiled widely and hugged him tightly.
"But… didn't you say you slept really well last night?" I insisted, as I recalled how cheerful and happy he was in the morning, when he talked to Haruhi and totally ignored me. I was tired to death, well, I still was, but the important thing was that it seemed like he was totally okay.
"No wonder, I had like 5 cups of coffee before I even left home. The maids tried to stop me, but I was in such a foul mood that I yelled angrily at half of them to bring me another one," He whispered in my ear, which sent shivers down my spine. I chuckled in amusement.
"Well, that sounds like something you would do, I guess," I teased him playfully, pinching his nose gently. He pouted and gave me that incredibly cute puppy look, which he probably learned from Tono.
"I'm sorry, Kaoru. The guilt inside of me is driving me insane and I can't sleep with a good consciousness with the knowledge, I hurt you. Please, I just acted on impulse, I don't even know what it was, please, forgive me."
Those were the words, I wanted to hear, right? So why is it still so difficult to forgive him? Maybe it wasn't the fact that he hit me that bothered me. No, I'm certain that if he had slapped me under other circumstances, I wouldn't even care. It's because he hurt me because of her. With that he basically confirmed the fact that she's becoming more important to him than me.
"Kaoru?" He whispered silently, probably wondering if I fell asleep, since I wasn't giving him any response to his request. But I just closed my eyes shut and didn't react on his call. I don't know what to answer him. Wouldn't forgiving him mean I'm giving up and letting him go? Or would it actually be a way forward for us?
It's so late. I'm so tired. I just want to sleep. Tomorrow's also a day, so we could discuss this with Hikaru also tomorrow, right? He won't run away in the mean time. I felt him nuzzle into my hair before I closed my eyes and dozed off to dreamland once again.
REVIEW
A/N Yup, I think we all had plenty of angst in the previous chapters, so I thought a tiny little fluff in between couldn't really hurt anyone. Stay tunned for the next chapter. :)
