Falling in Love:
Just a short drabble to help me sleep,it didn't do it's job seeing how I've been up for 21 hours now.
Based slightly off of Elvis's Can't help falling in Love.
Have a fantastic day everyone.
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The rain had just picked up, the sound of it echoing through the windows with an occasional burst of thunder and lightning. Allen entered the living room, carrying some blankets and a pillow for his guest.
"Hey Kanda, I got you some blankets…" The white haired boy trailed off as Allen stared at Kanda's sleeping form, the arc of his body as he lay curled up on his side on the couch. His hair was still damp from his shower, the towel that was presumably drying his hair now covering half of the bitchy teenager's face.
'He must have fallen asleep while I was in taking a shower.' Allen just chuckled to himself as he continued to watch Kanda, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed steadily in his sleep was calming. The way his clothes were hiked up showing the contours of his stomach and sides was intoxicating to the eyes. The way Kanda's sleeping face was relaxed making his cheeks seem soft and his forehead without wrinkles.
With a faint smile on his cheeks, Allen went and draped the blankets over Kanda. The swordsman grumbled for a moment before gripping the blankets, curling up more and tugging it closer. He pulled the damp towel off of Kanda's face and set it on the coffee table. Allen smiled a little more only to stop, his thoughts trailing off to a different space entirely. The smile slowly fell as the weight of realization clung to him.
Allen slumped down against the coffee table nestled in the center of the room as he just stared at Kanda. A tight ball of emotions wrapped up and stuck inside his chest suddenly appearing, the feeling of pressure and love swelling up in him and closing his throat, he felt like thorns had just been swallowed. He gripped the pillow tight in his arms as he burrowed his face into it. Tears beginning to well up in his eyes and the pillow absorbing them, he gripped the plush white fabric tighter as he took in a quiet shaky breath.
"Shit." He mumbled, not able to find words that can describe this feeling of just overwhelming love and disappointment. Allen just couldn't help but fall in love with the swordsman; the way Kanda walked and carried himself, his overflowing confidence and grace and beauty, his intelligence and snappy comments. The way that Kanda had ignored Allen's flaws and didn't pay attention to his deformities or white hair that he had accepted Allen for who he was.
He recalled when he first saw Kanda he had fallen in love with his appearance, there was no way anyone could miss the sharp features and the beautiful long hair and his gorgeous features but after you get to know Kanda. He's not as prickly and hard to deal with, when you get to know Kanda? One learns that he's actually had a pretty harsh life. That when you became one of his better friends and he lets his guard down and he opens up to you slowly, that he gets protective of you. Kanda wouldn't dare let a thing touch Allen and Lenalee after the events of a few weeks ago. That protectiveness and the growing relationship of an unusual friendship between Allen and Kanda had made that swelling love of his grow even more to where it was now.
Now here Allen sat, crying into a pillow over the fact that this deep swelling love would never, ever be reciprocated. That he would just need to get over it, get over the love and the feeling that maybe, just maybe Kanda will be with him. But the thought of getting over it, the thought of moving on hurt more. He smiled shamefully into the pillow, there was no way and now he had fallen in love with one of his best friends with no way out. No way to avoid this burning in his throat and the tears falling and the fact that his lungs just couldn't get enough air.
That all of this love was for naught and that Kanda would never love him was what was causing the tears to fall. Allen just felt so down, so sad and depressed at the thought that no matter what, that no matter how hard he tried with all of his might he would never be able to kiss Kanda, wake up to his face and touch that soft hair of his without being threatened and yelled at. It was all nothing, just a sick fantasy in his head.
Cause there was no way Kanda loved him, or thought of him in that, there was no way Kanda was gay. There was no way Kanda could love him.
And that hurt. It hurt a lot, it settled itself as a rock in his chest, going nowhere but just being a heavyweight for him to bear.
Some things just weren't meant to be. Allen pulled his face away from the pillow, stopping the tears and rubbing at his face with his palms to stop the tears.
"You're so loud. Why the hell are you crying?"
"Just because…" Allen looked up, seeing Kanda awake and sitting up, he reached down and grabbed Allen's hand tugging the younger boy up to his feet and onto the couch.
"Bullshit. Normal people don't just sit in their living room and cry in front of their guest. What the fuck is your problem? What did I do?" Kanda was being harsh, insulting Allen in a way but somewhat comforting the younger boy to know that his crush was even slightly concerned as to why he was crying. Allen curled up on the couch holding the pillow as Kanda rubbed his eyes tiredly and leaned back onto the cushions. Allen's crying had just woken up the elder boy, he tried to ignore it but it was inevitable that he would end up helping Allen or at least asking what his problem was.
Allen rested his cheek on the pillow and looked at Kanda
"It's not your fault Kanda." Allen could see the way that Kanda had been looking pensive and staring at the coffee table for way to long. Kanda was biting the inside of his cheek, trying to figure out what the fuck he did to set the moyashi into tears. Allen smiled at Kanda despite his eyes being red and slightly puffy, contrasting with his scar and pale complexion. "It's just… something else."
"Something else? What the fuck are you talking about?"
"It's nothing, not your concern"
"Oh come on we both know your lying. It's my concern now that you fucking woke me up with your sniffling and crying." Kanda closed his eyes, trying to go back to sleep.
Allen didn't respond immediately. There was no way that Kanda could find out about this, about this episode of his. Kanda couldn't find out that Allen loved him. So he waited, silence spreading as exhaustion began to claw at his shoulders and limbs and eyelids.
"Kanda. I'm tired." Allen mumbled; he was tired, emotionally, physically from crying and dealing with Kanda. The late hour wasn't helping his cause either, the rain echoing soothingly over the household.
"Go get in your bed then." Kanda opened his eyes he could tell that Allen hadn't really heard that, he could see the way the kid's eyes kept fluttering shut and then open as he tried to stay awake in a vain effort to keep him company. "Come on Moyashi." Kanda shook Allen slightly, though with hesitation.
Allen opened his eyes slightly and shifted up onto his feet, holding the pillow he was supposed to give Kanda. He exited the living room, only to end up tripping over the two steps that lead into the hallway, the shock of falling only hitting him in that last moment before he made contact with the floor.
With a groan Kanda stood up, tired himself as he walked over to the Moyashi who was just lying on the floor. "Come on, up on your feet moyashi." Kanda prodded Allen in the side for a moment, a sense of protectiveness and brief exhaustive compassion overtaking him towards the boy. With a groan Allen sat up, and walked the rest of the way down the hallway to his room. He entered; Kanda trailing in behind him to make sure the kid didn't hurt himself further. Allen just crawled into bed underneath the covers and curled up. Kanda sat on the bed, still drowsy after being woken up. With a sigh he fell sideways and lay down on the bed's soft comforter.
Kanda was too tired, today was too exhausting to really care about anything, or the fact that he was in Allen's bed currently.
Allen didn't hear Kanda move away from his bed, he was on the brink of unconsciousness he rolled over and looked at Kanda's back that was lying on the bed. He could barely see the outline of his chest but he was happy now, content to know that Kanda would agree to something small like this, but none the less content. He smiled faintly at him, the bed was soft and cool against his skin and it lulled him further into sleep.
Allen just couldn't help falling in love with Yuu Kanda and some things just weren't meant to be no matter what. But maybe, maybe one day this something could become reality.
"I really like you Kanda." Allen mumbled, presuming that the older boy was asleep at this point. Allen's eyes finally closing shut as he himself fell asleep, his breathing slowly evening out into a rhythm.
Kanda rolled over on the bed, pulling the blankets over him to fight off the cold of the room. "Moyashi you stupid piece of shit. " Kanda groaned out as he understood now why Allen was crying. He scooted closer; the bed not really being meant to accommodate two but it would work out. Kanda draped an arm over Allen's side feeling the boy's heartbeat against his elbow and the warm feeling of skin driving away the chill of the night. Kanda closed his eyes as he felt Allen push himself a bit closer to Kanda, the boys chin resting on Kanda's collarbone and his breath warm against the elder's shoulder. A faint sigh pressed out of Kanda's lips as he mumbled. "You're a horrible host."
