A minute later, all of the Scooby Gang were standing together, and the waterworks were at full blast, with Willow being held by Xander's embracing left arm and sobbing on his chest, Buffy and Dawn at his sides hugging him and weeping with joy, and Faith being firmly held against him with his right arm, her head resting against her husband's upper arm and her prickling eyes warning the dark Slayer she was about to join in. She was Faith, dammit, she didn't do crying. In an effort to ward off bawling, Faith asked gruffly, "Say, lover, what exactly did you mean about bein' the dad?"
Xander lifted up his chin that was resting on the top of Willow's head, and looked down at his wife. "Giles did pretty well back then as a father-figure, but he was usually too busy being Buffy's Watcher. I'm going to be the dad that none of us ever had."
The sound of sniffling died away in the room as every woman thought about Xander's statement and had to admit its truth. None of the people in the room had wanted anything to do with their fathers after, or even before, the Sunnydale disaster. They had brusquely informed their sires of their survival shortly after that event, and they had not had the slightest contact ever since, for very good reasons.
Faith had no idea who her father was, and she doubted that her dead mother had either, or that the woman had even bothered to remember the john any longer than it had taken to spend his money.
The Summers sisters shared the same memories of their father deserting the family to run off with his secretary. Even though Dawn had been created by magic into human form out of the Key, and her false memories had been added well after the abandonment had occurred, it didn't mean they hurt any less.
Willow's father had been emotionally distant from the girl for most of her life. She couldn't remember any affection shown by him towards her since grade school. Her recent lifestyle changes were certainly not going to alter this.
Xander's drunken father had abused him physically and emotionally for years.
Remembering this caused every woman to hug Xander together. A babble of female voices arose, all saying the same thing: "Any kid would be proud to have you as their dad!"
"Thanks, ladies," beamed Xander. "Uh, while we're all like this," the man swept his head including all the women hugging him, "I'd just like to ask just one little question."
Xander looked straight ahead at the wall beyond the small group. "Buffy, Dawn, you're just here to support Willow and Faith, right? Not for any, uh, other reason?"
Buffy tilted up her head to look at Xander's face fixedly staring at the wall. Was he….blushing?
Puzzled, the blonde Slayer replied, "Yeah, that's right, why else would we---" Buffy choked off her answer, her own face flaming scarlet as the other women promptly shrieked with laughter, Dawn included, as they all realized that Xander had actually considered more than one woman wanting his child.
Buffy leaned forward to bury her red-hot face against Xander's back, only to discover that part of his body was shaking in hilarity as he joined in the others' mirth. "I'm gonna get you for that, Xander. Oh, am I ever," mumbled the diminutive woman into the man's flannel shirt.
Not that this quieted anyone's amusement. Instead, she got a poke from Dawn, causing Buffy to lift her head to look at her sister's laughing face that had suddenly sobered. Raising her voice to catch everyone's attention, Dawn musingly said, "Buffy, considering our love lives lately, both of us should really consider it."
"DAWN!" screamed Buffy, as Xander's head whipped around to stare at Dawn with horror, as the youngest Summers sister cast a serious glance around all of the group.
Then, Dawn opened her mouth in an immense guffaw of, "GOTCHA!"
Eventually, the laughter stopped, maybe just because it physically hurt too much to do it anymore, even for the two women with Slayer endurance.
Xander took advantage of this to say something else that had come to mind. "Guys, we're gonna have to tell the others about this, but….uh….could we do the….thing first? It's the only way me and Willow will have any privacy at all, you know."
The women exchanged glances among themselves, holding a silent discussion apart from the male in the room. Finally, they looked at Xander, and all agreed.
"You bet, lover."
"Absolutely, Xander."
"Our lips are sealed."
"Not a word to anyone."
A week later, the front door to a Scottish fertility clinic closed, cutting off the sounds of thirty Slayers in the parking lot offering cheers, whistles, applause, and obscene suggestions.
In the reception room, a man with a hunted expression on his face lurched over to the counter of the office, his arms heaped with objects, which were now dumped on top of the counter.
The nurse sitting behind the counter calmly examined these items, which included a five-gallon bucket, a thimble, a rubber woman, a disgusting and morally offensive leather cylinder covered with feathers and rhinestones, a DVD of Debbie Does Truth Or Consequences, and a bottle of Viagra.
Judging from the deadpan expression shown by the nurse, she was a true professional, or she'd seen worse.
Glancing at her schedule list, the nurse inquired, "Mr. Alexander Harris for your ten o'clock appointment?"
His face buried in his crossed arms resting on the counter, the broken man whimpered.
