Chapter 7: Secrets

By: One Republic

Singer: Blaine (ft Kurt), it would be part of their concert featured in this chapter


Kurt hadn't practiced his piano. He hadn't worked on his moves for the brawl. He hadn't studied for his history class or worked on his song for the winter showcase. In fact there wasn't a lot he had been doing that people might say was important considering how bad his grades were getting. Most of his energy was spent acting through every minute of his day.

Texting Thomas had become a go-to crutch. Thomas, at least for a little while, made him think positively. But then he turned his attention back to the world and his heart clenched up again. Especially when he saw Blaine's smile.

It should not have been that hard. Blaine had to know. His health depended on his knowledge. They had to talk. Yes as long as Blaine didn't see his grades it was so easy to just play the exhaustion card. After all, the holiday season had things at work picking up, not to mention the nights he didn't work they were almost guaranteed to be performing for one of June's events.

The roaring applause of their audience pounded in his head.

The first half of their act was finally over. It had been super stuffed with slow romantic duets (Up Where We Belong, I Knew You Were Waiting, The Closer I Get To You, Endless Love, among others) that were intended for the guests to talk over as they arrived. The real show would follow after a brief intermission of speeches and requests for donations to whatever was the theme of the evening. Blaine had been pushing lately for June to take up the problem of homelessness in New York since the winter season was setting in and last year had been terrible. It seemed she was taking him seriously but honestly neither man was quite sure what they were performing for.

The men were glad for their reprieve. Blaine tucked back on his water bottle and Kurt carefully pulled out a cough drop when he wasn't looking. His throat had been getting sorer with each passing day, as were his neck and limbs. It was like he was getting the flu. Which, from what he found online, was very bad. The internet told him that somewhere between six weeks and three months post HIV infection was the 'primary' stage. Which felt like the worst case of the flu the infected person had ever experienced. Which was how Kurt felt right now.

Kurt let himself sink to the floor backstage. "This is going really well," Blaine offered encouragingly.

"Yeah, we're great."

"But you can't wait to get home?"

"And get to bed." He sent his love a smile. Blaine knew he meant sleep. He always meant sleep these days. They hadn't had sex in two weeks.

This was the one great disadvantage to living together. Kurt had shown a distaste for porn before and Blaine didn't want to disrespect that, but he was feeling frustrated. He wanted his love and he wanted to make love. The worst part was that Kurt was right there all the time and yet he still had to resort to imagining their escapades in the shower. At the same time he knew Kurt was stressed. This wasn't a problem he'd really faced before and Sam and Artie were absolutely no help as they were just as inexperienced. Sure Sam hadn't been able to sleep with Mercedies but that had been laid out at the start. Kurt had been in his position but Kurt was the source of the issue this time. Blaine didn't want to make things worse by making it sound like their relationship required sex. It did not. But ever since they'd started they really hadn't stopped (when they weren't several states apart and/or broken up) aside from when Blaine felt deeply insecure about his body. There was no way Kurt was feeling like that. His muscles had been growing for months and he very clearly knew he was working a body most men envied.

"I hope you two are ready," June called with a wave. "We're on!" By 'we' of course she meant them. She was just going to talk on stage for a little while, brag about them, things of that nature. Blaine took Kurt's hand to lift him back to his feet and the two of them stepped out, waving, as the adorable couple everyone came to see and listen to. Of course the audiences ate it up. A gay engaged couple that were both super performers and were, in many ways, physical opposites. Including their voices. They were often a hit just on that alone. The audience went crazy when they returned to the stage. It was really just about everything they'd dreamed of.

Blaine didn't want to let go of Kurt, but he had to. They had to dance to their first song. Which was already interesting enough. Kurt had decided to sing the Mellencamp part of Wild Night. Though Blaine was on board after he'd explained it was something he wanted to send to his dad. Partly on a memory and partly to show Burt how far he had come in four years. They'd even managed to get Artie into the event just to film them (though they had both caught glimpses of him using this event to his full advantage). They'd told June it was so they could review the performance so they could improve on it.

"And everything looks so complete," Kurt sang in a voice that people rarely heard, "when you're walking down the street." Blaine could hear it before it happened. Kurt reached over and gave him a push. His voice was threatening to give way, crackling under the pressures. He just needed to stop dancing. Blaine covered that plenty well for them. He had the crowd screaming.

"The wild night is calling," they sang together. Kurt stepped to the front of their stage and motioned to the people standing around.

"Come on out and dance."

"Come on out and make romance." They could see the look on June's face. This wasn't part of the plan. But at least it was working. Several of the old patrons got giddy little smiles on their faces and first they started twisting but before long they were shuffling around and even dancing together. Old dances that Kurt rather liked but didn't expect he'd see in any young crowd.

Their next couple of songs were just as much of a mixed bag. The two men worked with each other, as best as they could. Blaine didn't complain. He could see clearly how hard Kurt was trying to push through this.

June took her first possible opportunity to rejoin them. A bright smile was forced on her face as she slipped Kurt a bottle of water and leaned in to whisper. "What is going on up here?"

"I might be getting a cold," Kurt responded. "I just need to take it easy."

"Are you going to be able to finish tonight?"

"Yeah. Of course."

"And what about the next number?" Kurt stared blankly for a moment. Then he saw Blaine with the guitar. Right. That thing he'd been practicing all summer with Elliot's help. Kurt was supposed to wow the crowds with his newest talent. Blaine held onto it while he drank half the bottle.

"We'll be fine. Whatever happens, we've got this."

"Alright. Don't make me regret trusting you."

"We can handle this," Blaine pressed, his hand reaching out to rest on Kurt's shoulder. Their eyes linked for a moment. He was expecting to have to cover for Kurt again. The dance wasn't the first cover he'd had to do that evening. Kurt had been a bit pitchy on his usual high notes in the first half. They hadn't even had any of the really wow-ing ones. That was reserved for their grand finale.

"Thanks," Kurt whispered as he took the guitar.

"Do you want to do a last minute swap on our last song?" Blaine asked. "We can. Throw in one of our songs instead." Our songs. Meaning one of the songs they crooned to each other around the loft or whenever else the mood struck them.

"Yeah, tell the musicians when they come back." Since he and Blaine were now the only two people on stage. To punctuate his guitar playing. "I'll follow your lead." Kurt took a deep breath and leaned against the piano, fingers at the ready. "Let's do this." Blaine kissed his cheek before going to his mic. This was Kurt's song. Blaine was just here to harmonize. Well, and hit his tambourine in time.

"Which leads us up to now," June said as she glanced over them, letting out a very visible sigh of relief that they were done talking. Even though they hadn't actually been talking that long. "Mr. Hummel has been practicing his guitar all summer for this, so it is my honor to present him to you for the first time on stage as not only a singer and dancer but as a guitarist as well." Kurt took a deep breath and nodded towards Blaine. This was it.

"Ho!" Blaine hit his tambourine on beat. "Hey! Ho! Hey!"

"I've been trying to do it right,

I've been living a lonely life,

I've been sleeping in my bed,

I've been sleeping here instead,

Sleeping here instead."

Kurt pushed on, despite swapping two of the lines. The damage was minimal. As long as he exuded confidence, people wouldn't even notice.

"So show me family,

All the blood that I would bleed.

I don't know where I belong,

I don't know where I went wrong."

"But I can write a song," they sang together.

"I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart

I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweet - ho! Hey!"

When he and Blaine began to harmonize Kurt swore he saw people tearing up. Especially when they got to 'you're my sweetheart.' His voice was heavy with emotion but he knew that the type of crowd also played a part.

A lot of the people were divorced and could remember young love, the passion, and everything they had always wanted. Kurt knew that most people hoped for the best for them and didn't hold any leftover malice. They wanted a fairytale, even if it wasn't their own. He really hoped all these people wouldn't have to come to their wedding. Maybe they'd have to have two. A public ceremony for show and a private one that mattered. Hopefully not but Kurt was sure he could deal with marrying Blaine twice.

"I don't think you're right for him,

Look at what it might have been if you

Took a bus to China Town.

I'd be standing on Canal and Bowery."

He glanced down to his hands. That was a mistake. "And she'd be standing next to me." His voice weakened with each word. There were spots on his hand that he hadn't noticed before. How had he missed them? Why did he have to notice them now in the middle of a performance?

"I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart

I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart."

Kurt didn't realize that he'd left Blaine hanging completely acapella for the chorus that followed. Blaine stepped up without a problem. It was almost more beautiful that way anyway. When he hit the note on "Love" Kurt glanced back up and remembered himself. The rash was another sign but the show had to go on. The guitar resumed, and Kurt cut back in to finish off strong.

"Love

– we need it now

Let's hope for some

So, we're bleeding out

I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart

I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweet - ho! Hey!

Ho! Hey!"

In an instant Blaine was at his side, the tambourine deposited onto the cool black surface of the piano. "Are you ok? Kurt?"

"I blanked," he whispered. "I can't finish tonight Blaine I have to go, I'm sorry I have to get off this stage, please." It was unprofessional but Kurt really couldn't care any less. All the signs were in place. Did he even need to take the test now? No, no, he had to stay positive. Until he saw a positive mark on that test nothing was certain.

June was merciful. She swooped in to announce that Ho Hey had been their finale. Blaine pulled Kurt into a bow. No one in the audience demanded another song. They were polite, they cheered, they let the men leave. Blaine pulled Kurt into a tight hug once they were off the stage.

"What happened?"

"I blanked." On all things musical.

"You never blank." It wasn't doubt or an accusation. Blaine's voice was littered with fear. This was yet another way Kurt was no longer acting like himself.

"But I did."

"You look really pale. Here, sit down, please." Kurt let Blaine pull him to the ground. There were no chairs nearby for them to commandeer. Blaine preferred it this way. Like this he was able to hook one arm around Kurt's waist. The other hand pressed to his forehead.

"I don't have a fever."

"You're still really hot."

"So are you."

"I don't mean-"

"Me either. It was hot on that stage."

"That's never bothered you before."

"Well tonight was different!" Blaine pulled away. "No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap." He just needed to say it. 'Blaine two months ago a guy forcibly kissed me, I bit him, and now I think we might have HIV.' But Blaine wouldn't take just that sentence. He'd want more. Kurt would have to talk about the assault. Maybe even his body's response to it.

"Kurt." Blaine started to take his hand. Kurt pushed them into the pockets of his suit's jacket.

"It's just rough right now. The performances, work, classes, and we have exams and more performances for classes that are all coming up after break. Not to mention we have all this work to do for the reunion next week." Blaine's arm returned to his waist. This was something he could do. Be Kurt's hero. This made sense. Even if nothing else that had been going on did, at the very least he could be Kurt's hero.

"You're stretching yourself too thin. You're going to get really sick."

"I can't get sick. Not right now."

"You can't always get sick when it's convenient for you. Why don't you take the next few days off."

"Off of what?"

"Everything. Stay home, get some rest. I'll stay with you tomorrow, then Rachel will be here after that in case you're worried about me skipping classes. We only have a couple of days left until Thanksgiving break anyway." Kurt had his mouth open ready to argue just that point. "You and I both know that our health has to come first if we're going to work in an industry that focuses on our bodies."

"That sounds a little like we're trying to be porn stars." The joke got a little smile out of both of them. "I'm going to go to my classes. I've been slacking enough this month as it is. And somewhere in there I need to practice for our show Sunday-"

"Oh no you don't," they heard from the doorway. "Kurt, you were awful out there tonight. Well not awful but compared to a usual performance that was terrible. You look like you could faint. I think you need a break." Kurt pushed back to his feet, ready to defend himself. Blaine hopped up to fight for him as well. "For your health. I expect you both to get some rest and we'll get to work again in December." She crossed the distance between them. "Since you two are so close I'm sure you've shared whatever this is and I can assure you at my age I don't want it. So stay home and get healthy. Go on." She waved her hands dismissively at both of them.

"Thank you," Blaine started. "Thank you, tha-"

"I know I know, I'm too soft on you. It must be my old age. I'll call you after Thanksgiving. Make sure you drink a lot of that vinegar-honey tea recipe I gave you. It works wonders on sore throats." Kurt felt his face threatening to scrunch up. Show business had brought a lot of weird treatments for whatever ailed the human body. The vinegar tea recipe was probably one of the grosser ones that he'd been introduced to if only because he was expected to ingest it. External use treatments seemed a lot less dangerous. Plus he never had to taste them. Though he knew there had to be worse.

"Happy Thanksgiving," Blaine told her as he took Kurt by the arm and pulled on him.

"Hey, guys, what's going on?" Artie called as he rolled up, camera secured to his chest. He was not going to lose that thing.

"I don't really want to talk about it right now," Kurt said apologetically. "I think I just want to get home and get some rest."

"Alright. I'll cut this for you tonight. But I need to know, do you want to give your dad the whole performance or just the highlights?" His voice was hinging on its politeness.

"It was that obvious? Ugh. Can you give me both options? Maybe it won't be so bad he'll notice. He's not as attuned to performances as we are. I really want to show him my first time playing guitar on stage. He's been kind of excited about it so he'll notice if its missing. And the Mellencamp song too, that was a surprise for him."

"I'll do my best." Blaine gave him a squeeze. "Thank you Artie. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye guys." As Kurt turned away, Artie tried to sign his concern to Blaine. Blaine just nodded solemnly. He knew. He was going to take care of Kurt.