~Chapter 6: Temmie goes to colleg~
I heard a, what's the word, familiar voice. Well... familiar from some joint. "No one else has this power. But… when I show you it, your life's gonna change. Nothing will be the same." Big pause. "You don't want to do it? Please… you've gotta. Do it for your best friend." Another pause. "Thanks. You're the best friend ever."
"Holy!" I woke up. I felt bacon balls. I passed out again? Are you fluffing me!? My name should be… um… 'passing out dude!' Yeah! Heh. I looked around. Hey, what's this joint? I saw I was on some yellow flowers again, so I hadn't died. The joint looked like Waterfall… but with more junk. And I mean real junk. Holy, I thought. What was that flashback thingo? Who was that dude talking? What were they talking about? Why do I feel like I know 'em?
I sussed out the joint full of junk. Holy, I thought. I know some of these things! Is that a Kit Kat bar? Coke? LO'real Paris? An INXS CD? Mrs. Baker liked those dudes. Prince of Egypt…? Hey, I love that movie! What's it doing down in Monstertown? My determination told me human junk came down from this waterfall. I looked at the waterfall. It led to somewhere. What's down there? I thought. Maybe I'll fall down there and die a bacon balls death. Yeah, a really bacon balls death.
I did some more sussing out and found some cheese balls jazz, like space-dude food. I took some space-dude food and went on. I found this training dummy, but I didn't say jazz to it. But it did say jazz to me. It went all bacon balls and blocked my way.
"Hahaha…" it said. "Too intimidated to fight me, huh?! I am a GHOST that lives inside a dummy! My cousin used to live inside a dummy, too. Until… YOU CAME ALONG!"
"Uh… what'd I do to your cuz?" I asked.
"I'll tell you what you did!" the dummy said. "When you talked to them, they thought they were in for a nice chat… but the things you SAID...! Horrible. Shocking! UNBELIEVABLE! It spooked them right out of their dummy!"
"Aw, man," I said. "I'm bacon balls at chatting peeps up. Tell your cuz I'm sorry." I'm so bacon balls I made a dummy soppy. I sighed. Everyone'll be like that soon! Why are you even making pals? They'll all hate you, and it doesn't, what's the word, matter if you're a killer or not. Your 'friends' will leave you soon.
"Sorry isn't good enough, HUMAN!" the dummy yelled. "I'll scare your SOUL right out of your body!" We got into battle. The dummy sent these dudes after me. Their attacks ended up hitting Mad Dummy- that's the dummy- and making it all bacon balls. The dudes didn't get anymore cheese balls. Mad Dummy wasn't cool beans. It kept going on 'bout how it wanted my soul to cross the barrier and all. I said I wanted my soul 'cause it's my soul.
Mad Dummy kept hitting me, and I was getting the ouchies- well, a bit.
"We'll be stuck fighting," Mad Dummy said. "Forever. Forever! FOREVER! AHAHAHAHAHA!" Then it started raining on it. "Wh… what the heck is this?! Ergh! Acid rain!" It got bacon balls. "Oh, FORGET IT! I'm outta here!" It left. Napstablook showed up.
"Napstablook!" I said. "Dude, I owe you one! Mad Dummy was giving me a bacon balls time."
"Oh… was it?" Napstablook said, with a soppy voice. "It looked like you were having fun… oh well… I just wanted to say hi…" The battle was done, thank holy cheese balls. "Well… I'm going to head home now… oh… um… feel free to 'come with' if you want… but no pressure… I understand if you're busy… it's fine… no worries… just thought I'd offer…"
"That'd be cheese balls, Napstablook," I said. "I'm kinda meant to be leaving… but it can't be too bacon balls to go… a little off dial, can it?" Yes, it can.
"Well, okay…" Napstablook said. "This way." They, what's the word, floated on. I went after them, did my determination stuff, and came to this farm place. There were all these snails in a pen. Napstablook was hanging out there. "Awkward… I'm working right now… I mean, welcome to the Blook Family Snail Farm… Yeah, I'm the only employee. This place used to get a lot of business… But our main customer disappeared one day… now it's just some hairy guy that shows up once a month."
"Bacon balls, man," I said. "I feel for ya." I sussed out the snails. They were cool beans. One of 'em gave me cheese balls life tips. Another made me hungry… shout out to my French dudes. I went to Napstablook's joint. It was this soppy blue place, next to this purple joint. I had no idea who lived there. So I went into Nasptablook's place. It was a lil' house, with books, music and cobwebs.
"Oh…" Napstablook said. "You really came… sorry, I… wasn't expecting that. It's not much, but make yourself at home."
"Don't be so bacon balls 'bout yourself, Napstablook," I said, all cheese balls. I'm the bacon balls one here. "Your house's cheese balls!"
"I guess…" Napstablook said, still soppy. I sussed out their house and jammed to their music.
"Dude, cheese balls tunes!" I said. "If I had skills, I'd totes remix them."
"Oh, um… thanks," Napstablook said awkwardly. "Maybe I should remix them myself…"
I sussed out the fridge. Napstablook saw. "Oh… are you hungry…" they asked. "I can get you something to eat…" They went to the fridge. "This is a ghost sandwich… do you want to try it..."
"As long as there's no bacon or granny smith apples." I said. I tried to eat the ghost sandwich, but I couldn't… 'cause it was a ghost sandwich. Bacon balls! Whatevsies, I like ghost sandwiches anyway.
"Oh well… nevermind..." Napstablook said. "After a great meal I like to lie on the ground and feel like garbage… it's a family tradition." They paused. "Do you want… to join me…"
"Yeah." I said. I already am garbage.
"Okay… follow my lead…" Napstablook said. We laid on the floor and were all garbage-y. "Here we go… you'll lie down as long as you don't move. So, only move around when you want to get up, I guess." Being garbage was cheese balls on levels of awesome-sauce. I didn't think 'bout scary jazz. I just thought 'bout… how life began. Why we were around. Why ice-cream tasted so cheese-balls. If there were other, what's the word, universes. If animals had feelings and jazz. Why my name was...
"Holy, dude," I sighed. "Sorry, Napstablook, but I've gotta fly. I have an Underground to leave."
"That's okay…" Napstablook said. "Thank you, by the way…"
"It's cool beans," I said. I left after that. Alrighty dite, no more fluffing around, my thoughts said. We've gotta go. But... I went back a little and found that aquarium joint, that's all glowy and stuff. This duck rode me over (taking my time on my riiideeee) to the place with Sans and the telescope. I said 'sup to him again and fluffed around with my box. Then I went ahead.
I came to this shop run by an old turtle dude. He said he had some 'neat junk' for sale. And some talking jazz. Cheese balls, I thought. I can get some info on leaving and all that. I got some info 'bout the emblem thingo, the 'Kingdom of Monsters', and some 'angel' from this prophecy. The 'angel' was someone who'd seen the surface and had come down to free the monsters and stuff. Maybe that's me, I thought. That's when I got one of those scary daydreams, 'bout scary me killing peeps again. And this... sentence: Make a better world. The fluff's that all about? I thought. I don't get it.
I saw another sign. "Hurt, beaten, and fearful for our lives, we surrendered to the humans. Seven of their greatest magicians sealed us Underground with a magic spell. Anything can enter through the seal, but only beings with a powerful SOUL can leave." I frowned. Humans have magicians? I knew Harry Potter was real! I sighed. Holy, humans just get more and more OP. Why do I love them…? Because I am human? Nah… I can't think bacon balls 'bout them. I… I live with them! I… I…
"There is only one way to reverse this spell," a sign said. "If a huge power, equivalent to seven human SOULs, attacks the barrier… it will be destroyed." We've got a big price tag on us, don't we, I thought.
A sign went on, "But this cursed place has no entrances or exits. There is no way a human could come here. We will remain trapped down here forever."
Oh dudes, I thought. There'll be a way. I frowned. No… I don't care… I've gotta get out…
I stopped being all soppy when I got to this dark joint. There were all these mushrooms and stuff that made shiny paths. I sussed them out and ran into 'special enemy Temmie'. She was pretty cheese balls. I said 'sup to her. She said, "hOI! i'm tEMMIE!" And that was battle over. For some reason, I decided to suss out the dog residue. The rest of my bag was filled with it and this jazz called Dog Salad. Well cheese balls.
I sussed out the dark joint some more. I got lost, and the Underground had no Google Maps. So I went all over the place. I came to this joint called Temmie Village. The sign said, 'hOI! welcom to… TEM VILLAGE!' Cool beans, I thought (autocorrect is bacon balls right now). I talked to some of the Temmies. They were pretty whoopie-doo! I did my determination- sorry, detemmienation- then hung out with the Temmies.
"Awawawawah!" a Temmie said. "Humans… such a… CUTE!"
"Heh, thanks." I said. Humans are anything but that, I thought. I saw a statue.
"Statue of tem…" it said. "very famus. VERY!" I went into the Tem shop.
"hOI!" the shop owner said. "welcom to… da TEM shop!"
"'Sup? I'm gonna sell my dog residues," I said. "Want some?"
Temmie said, "i gota have dat DogResidus… but i gota pay for colleg. Hnnn…! tem always wanna DogResidus...! tem buy DogResidu for… 4G!"
"Roll it in," I said. "I want Nice Cream." And ice-cream. Human stuff, I thought. I gave Temmie the rest of my dog thingos, seeing I could make and sell more. It took forevsies, but I sent Temmie to college. 'Cause why the fluff not? She looked fabo. After that, I went back to the dark mushroom joint. I got lost a gazillion times, but I found where to go. I ran into an echo flower.
"Behind you." it said. I looked around and saw Undyne. Bacon balls, I thought.
"Seven," she said darkly. "Seven human souls. With the power of seven human souls, our king… King Asgore Dreemurr… will become a god. With that power, Asgore can finally shatter the barrier. He will finally take the Surface back from humanity… and give them back the pain and suffering that we have endured… understand, human?"
"Crystal clear," I said. "But… dude, I… will Asgore even be able to stop the humans? I… I… I mean there's alotta them… and… if you… stop us… do you even know… what kinda 'get-you-back' plan we'll have? I mean..." The souls will not be his, the voice said. I didn't know what it was fluffing 'bout now.
Undyne pulled a spear from… somewhere. Spears were her jazz, I think. "So you think monsters can't be determined?"
"'Course not!" I said. "I'm talking 'bout-"
"Give up your SOUL," Undyne said scarily. "Or I'll tear it from your body!" Things looked bacon balls, 'till Monster Kid showed up.
"Undyne!" he cried. "I'll help you fight!" He looked at me. "YO! You did it! Undyne is RIGHT in front of you! You've got front row seats to her fight!" He stopped. "Wait… who's she fighting?" Undyne pulled him away. "H-hey! You aren't gonna tell my parents about this, are you?"
I sighed. "Oh, holy…" Bacon balls. What'd I do now? Sing? Flirt? I found some more echo flowers.
"...Hmm… If I say my wish… you promise you won't laugh at me?" a flower asked.
"Of course I won't laugh!" another flower said.
"Someday, I'd like to climb this mountain we're all buried under. Standing under the sky, looking all around… that's my wish." a flower said. Another flower laughed.
"...Hey, you said you wouldn't laugh!" a different flower said. (Flowing with me here?)
"Sorry, it's just funny…" another different flower said. "That's my wish, too." They really wanna leave, huh? I thought.
A sign said, "However, there is a prophecy. The Angel… the one who has seen the Surface… they will return. And the underground will go empty." So, this angel dude's gonna save all the peeps. Or… the underground will go empty… empty... does that mean they would… oh holy crap… I got another image. Lots of dead monsters. Is... is that me? Am… I gonna… do that? No… fluffing bacon balls no… I sighed. Stay cool beans! Y'know I'd never do something like that! Would I? That's not what I am...
I came to this bridge. Monster Kid was there.
"Yo!" he said. He sounded eh. "I know I'm not supposed to be here, but… I wanna ask you something." He stopped. "Man, I've never had to ask anyone this before… um… yo… you're human, right?"
"That's me." I said, putting my hair in front of my face.
"Haha…" Monster Kid said awkwardly. "Man! I knew it!" He frowned. "...well, I know it now, I mean… Undyne told me, um, 'stay away from that human'. So, like, um… I guess that makes us enemies or something."
"Bacon balls, really?" I asked. "Dude, I don't wanna hate you." But you'll hate me.
"Yeah, me neither. I kinda stink at that anyway." Monster Kid said. "So… can you, er, say something mean to make me hate you? Please?"
"I'm not gonna try," I said, looking away. "I'm bacon balls at being bacon balls to other peeps." But I'm cheese balls at doing it to myself, I thought unhappily.
"Yo… so I have to do it?" Monster Kid asked. He sighed. "Here goes nothing… Yo, I… I… hate your guts."
"Hate to be bacon balls, but…" I said, frowning. It's not cheese balls enough.
"Man, I'm such a turd," Monster Kid said. "I'm… I'm gonna go home now." He turned around and walked off, but he, what's the word, tripped on the bridge. He was hanging on the side. "W-wait! I tripped!"
"I'm coming, dude!" I said. But then Undyne showed up. Oh bacon balls in bacon sauce in… just bacon. Bacon balls, Undyne! I looked at Monster Kid. Oh, fluff Undyne! This kid needs to be saved and jazz! So I ignored Undyne and saved Monster Kid. He stood in front of me, stopping Undyne.
"Y….y… yo... dude..." he said… bravely, I guess. "If… if you wanna hurt my friend… You're gonna have to get through me, first." Undyne left.
"Dude!" I said. "Bacon balls, that's, like, five monsters I owe!"
"Yo! I think we're equal," Monster Kid said. "You saved my skin first. Guess being enemies was just a nice thought, haha. We'll just have to be friends instead."
"Flows with my river." I said, smiling.
"... man, I should really go home…" Monster Kid said. "I bet my parents are worried sick about me!" He walked off, but looked back. "Later, dude!" He left. Stop making friends! Why won't you, what's the word, listen?! A voice in my head asked. Why are you loving peeps who'll hate you!? You haven't gotten any less bacon balls.
Whatever, I thought. I don't fluff. I did some walking and came to this rocky cliff. It was pretty awesome-sauce. And guess who was on it?
"Seven," Undyne said, looking at this red… sky? No… roof, I guess. "Seven human souls, and King Asgore will become a god."
"Undyne, I don't wanna 'cause probs, but… Like I said…" I said, looking up.
"Do you think that we monsters can't be determined?" Undyne asked. "Is that what you humans think?"
Humans don't think monsters are real, I thought. "No! 'Course not! I-"
"We may not have your powerful souls, but we have hope," Undyne said. She looked at me. "Through your seventh and final soul, this world will be transformed."
By my… bacon balls stuff? I thought. 'Cause of that… prophecy.
"First, however, as is customary for those who make it this far, I shall tell the tragic story of our people," Undyne said. She looked away. "It all started, long ago…" She stopped and looked at me. "No, you know what?" Things got whoa! "SCREW IT! WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU THAT STORY, WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE?! NGAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" She took off her helmet thing. She had a blue, fishy (really) head, and awesome-sauce red hair.
"Holy sweet cheese balls!" I cried. I shrugged. "That's pretty awesome-sauce."
"YOU!" Undyne yelled. "You're standing in the way of everybody's hopes and dreams! Alphys' history books made me think humans were cool… with their giant robots and flowery swordswomen."
Er… what? I thought. But that sounds cheese balls. But I've heard none of that jazz. Only humans being bacon balls to each other and other things.
"BUT YOU?" Undyne asked. "You're just a coward!" Spot on, I thought. We all are. "Hiding behind that kid so you could run away from me again! And let's not forget your wimpy goody-two-shoes-schtick!" She made this weird face. "Ooh! I'm making such a difference by hugging random strangers!"
Well, it's more cheese balls to do that than hurt peeps, I thought. But I hurt peeps anyway... Why do I try? Love?
"You know what would be more valuable to everyone?" Undyne asked. "IF YOU WERE DEAD!"
Yeah, I thought, all bacon balls. Look at what I'll be.
"That's right, human!" Undyne yelled. "Your continued existence is a crime! Your life is all that stands between us and our freedom! Right now, I can feel everyone's hearts pounding together! Everyone's been waiting their whole lives for this moment!"
"Oh… cool beans." I said. Holy, this is nuts, I thought. What am I gonna do?
"But we're not nervous at all," Undyne went on. "When everyone puts their hearts together, they can't lose! Now, human! Let's end this, right here, right now."
I sighed. "Undyne… you've gotta listen to my-"
"Step forward you're ready!" Undyne said. "Fuhuhuhu!"
I sighed and did my determination. I looked at Undyne. "I don't wanna do this, dude. But… holy crap. Let's fight." I walked up to her.
"That's it, then!" Undyne yelled. "No more running away!" She ran down with her spear. "HERE I COME!" The battle started. Undyne waved her spear thingy at me. My SOUL turned green. "En guarde!" she yelled. "As long as you're green, you can't escape!"
"I'm waiting for it, that green light," I sung. Undyne looked at me. "You turned my soul green… flow with my river here."
Undyne ignored my weird song joke. "Unless you learn to face danger head-on… you won't last a SECOND against ME!" She threw some spears at me. I blocked them with this purple shield thing.
Bacon balls, what'd I do? I thought. "Um… Undyne, dude, I don't wanna fight. Fluff that weird logic-jazz I was talking about. I really don't wanna fight. Let's be pals."
Undyne didn't listen. "Not bad! Then how about this?" She threw more spears at me. Holy crap! I thought, blocking them. They were coming from all over the joint. "For years, we've dreamed of a happy ending…" More spears. I played the mercy game, but no jazz happened. "And now, sunlight is just within our reach!" Even more spears. I sighed. What's next? She's not gonna listen… hey, I have lots of HP, so I could try...
"Uh… hey, Undyne!" I said. "Your spear thingies… are too slick! That means easy, for your info."
"I won't let you snatch it away from us!" Undyne cried. Her spear thingos got faster. Bacon balls, I thought. Somehow I was able to block 'em. Most, anyway. "NGAH! Enough warming up!" There were more spears. I got the ouchies. Getting ouchies is bacon balls, even though I didn't get many. Lots of HP. I decided to take a runner.
"Fluff this crap I'm out," I sung (I don't like saying bacon balls words). I ran outta the battle. "For cheese balls!" Undyne caught up to me. "Stupid cheese balls."
"You won't get away from me this time!" Undyne said. I was green again. I did my mercy jazz, and Undyne did her spear jazz. "Honestly, I'm doing you a favor…"
"Don't do me a favor," I said. I don't deserve one. "I just don't wanna fight." I need to get out. Then I'll be doing you a favor.
"No human has EVER made it past Asgore!" Undyne said. More spears came outta nowhere. "Killing you now is an act of mercy!"
I'm gonna have to make it past Asgore, I thought. I'm… I'm bacon balls. A killer. I can't be here. Look at what I am.
"So STOP being so damn resilient!" Undyne said. I did another runner. I came to this joint near this sign that said, 'WELCOME TO HOTLAND'. Undyne caught me and attacked. "Alphys said humans were determined… I see now what she meant by that!" More spears. "But I'm determined too! Determined to end this right now!"
Me too, I thought. I feel like crashing… again. Undyne threw more spears at me. I pulled another runner. Someone called me on my phone.
"HEY!" Papyrus said from the phone. "WHAT'S UP?"
"Not much," I said. I found out I could kill everyone, Undyne's tryna kill me, and I'm fluffing tired!
Papyrus said, "WELL, I WAS JUST THINKING… YOU, ME, AND UNDYNE SHOULD ALL HANG OUT SOMETIME! I THINK YOU TWO WOULD MAKE GREAT PALS! LET'S MEET UP AT HER HOUSE LATER!"
Don't you dare say yes- "Cool beans, sounds cheese balls, Papyrus." I hate you. Undyne caught me again.
"STOP RUNNING AWAY!" Undyne yelled. I spared her. "NGAHH! DIE ALREADY, YOU LITTLE BRAT!" I ran away again, and came to this hot, dry, lava-filled joint called Hotland. Sans was sleeping at his sentry station. Aw, holy! I thought. Bacon balls! Why can't I crash? I ran past him and across this bridge. Undyne was still after me. But when I got to the end of the bridge, she wasn't going so fast.
"Armour… so hot…" Undyne said. "But I can't… give up…" She fell over.
Not you too! I thought. I sighed. Alrighty dite, what've we got here. I saw this water cooler. I took a cup of water and put it on Undyne. She got up, looked around, and walked off. "Uh… see ya later, dude…" I said. I sighed. Maybe before I hang with her and Papyrus, I should go crash somewhere. I frowned. Why am I always so fluffing tired? Why can't I be, what's the word, useful?
Whatever, I thought. I don't fluff. Who would? I looked away. I'll just go back to Snowdin or something. I can get some Nice Cream.
So off I went.
