Brooke woke the next morning before Alex happy with the talk they had had the morning before but it didn't Stop her worrying and Alex had another apology to make her dad needed an explanation too, what Alex told him was up to her! Alex could hear Brooke pottering around the kitchen at around seven, feeling safe and happy with Brooke and her friends but was a little nervous about what the rest of the day holds. Alex crawled out bed slowly at around nine, smelling pancakes.
"Morning!" Brooke said handing her some coffee
"Morning" Alex replied
"just up?" Brooke asked making her way to the sofa with Alex
"no been up for a while now!" Alex replied softly
"what you been doing?" Brooke asked worried
"nothing" Alex replied staring off into space
"Alex you have to explain everything to your dad you know that right?" Brooke asked getting a soft nod from Alex "okay well I told him you would be round in like an hour I have to work but i could stay if you'd like" Alex did want Brooke to stay. Yes it was her father but she felt so awkward around him like an outsider in his perfect life terrified he'd snap and leave her like her father's before him.
"No it's okay!" Alex replied
"Alex I'm not busy just have to sign a few things?" Brooke said
"no Brooke it's honestly okay?" Alex said "I have to face him eventually!"
"do you think he will yell?" Alex asked sadly she was better she knew it last night with Brooke helped but it didn't take away her fear of yelling or loud noises or the thought of him being mad at her she knew Nathan was different but it still scared her
"no Nate's not like that you know that? Right?" Brooke asked worried
"yeah no of course just.. Making sure!" Alex said smiling actually great full for Brooke's response
"are you okay Alex really okay?" Brooke asked
"yes Brooke for the first time in for as long as I can remember I genuinely can tell that you love me and it's kinda amazing so yes I am fine I'm happy I'm okay I have my friends I have you I have Nate and Haley and Lydia and Jamie and Peyton I'm happy!" Alex said Brooke hugging her
"I really do love you kid" Brooke said "I love you so much Brooke!" Alex said returning the hug.
"I'm sorry i skipped school I am I caught up last night and I'm sorry i didn't come to you! I will next time I promise!" Alex said Brooke holding her tight
"go get ready I'll drop you off on the way to my work!" Brooke said patting Alex on the but as she stood from the sofa Alex grabbed a bagel for breakfast and got into Brooke's car, they pulled up to the house Alex and Brooke walked up to the door Alex following her slowly behind they walked in to find Haley playing on the floor with Lydia who ran to Alex. Brooke kissed Alex on the head as Haley made her way over and left!
"Hey Alex?" Haley said "hey!" Alex said awkwardly "your dad's in the kitchen!" Haley said with a smile worried about Alex "hey Nate!" Alex said sitting on the stool "how you doing kid?" Nate asked making his way over to his daughter "better, I'm sorry I skipped class!" she said "don't worry about it! It's done with okay?" Nathan said Alex nodded "do you want to talk about it?" He finished "no I had a long talk with Brooke I'm all better now" she smiled as she made her way round the island to hug him he placed a soft kiss on her head as the sound of the front door closing was heard "Nate?" Shouted a familiar voice as Nathan squirmed "mom?" He asked taking Alex's hand and leading her to the landing at the front of the house "hey baby?" Deb said wrapping Nate in her arms as a very happy Jamie ran into her arms and Haley followed behind Lydia on her hip "hi, is that my handsome grandson?" deb said peeling Jamie of her and picking Lydia from her mother. "this must be Alex?" deb said hugging Alex Alex awkwardly back "I'm not grandma i'm nanny deb" she said making sure the young girl knew that she was not old. Alex made her way over to Haley who wrapped her arm around her knowing how awkward the young girl was about everything. "hi Haley!" Deb said putting down the little girl who ran into Alex's arms.
It had been a couple of hours since deb showed up and everyone was round the table eating the lunch that Lydia had help Alex make. "Whats this?" Jamie asked as he pushed the quinoa that was on the plate "dude i promise if you try it you will like it!" Alex laughed as Jamie, Deb and Nathan pushed around the vegetables on their plates all taking a bite none of them could complain they actually enjoyed it. "so Alex?" deb asked "how are you liking living with Brooke and Nathan" deb said overstepping her boundaries is what she did best "Brooke" Alex corrected her"i only live with Brooke and i love it" she smiled "Even if she grounds me!" Alex whined making a guilty Nathan smile, deb realizing the awkwardness tried again "i liked your video show!" deb said very grandmotherly "your really good at it" she smiled "thank you" Alex replied awkwardly causing Jamie to laugh and earn a kick from his older sister under the table. Both receiving a 'behave yourself at the table look' from Haley they both put their heads down and continued to occasionally look up and smile at one another. Lunch was finished and Alex was in the kitchen washing the dishes Lydia playing on the floor attempting to polish the spoons that Alex had given her. Haley walked into the kitchen handing Lydia the movie she had been asking for and she ran off movie in hand. "You don't have to do this kid!" Haley said picking up the plates to start drying "It's okay I don't mind!" Alex replied "I'm really sorry you know about the skipping school" Alex said not looking up from her hands that were busy. "no more promise!" Haley asked "promise" Alex asked confused on what to do after finishing the dishes "so have you started on your assignment?" Haley asked realizing the difficulty that the essay would be on the young girl who just shook her head sadly.
Haley took Alex in her hand and walked to the small room in the back that had a big piano in it and a small brown sofa "Alex? you okay?" haley asked seeing the pain in her eyes "it feels like that is all every one ever asks me!" alex laughed haley just tilted her head to the side "yes im okay!" Alex said "if you want to talk about it we can?" Haley said not being fazed she had seen the smile on Alexs face that wavered every time she thought no one was looking. Alex wanted to tell somebody but didn't want Brooke to know. "will you tell Brooke?" Alex gave in to Haley's enquiring eyes that saw right through the charade "I go to therapy once a week!" Alex admitted embarrassed "Alex that's okay?" Haley said a little confused "no its not i'm crazy!" Alex said embarrassed "we all have issues" Haley said comforting the young girl that wouldn't look her in the eyes "my uncle wasn't a nice man he said bad things and one night they got to be too much I couldn't handle it anymore and i.. I took a hand full of the pills on my moms bedside table it seemed like the only way to get out to be free from him I just wanted it to stop.. I think" Alex admitted quickly and fast like it just kept coming out and she couldn't do anything to stop it.
"so no i don't just have issues i'm crazy because only a crazy person would do that?" Alex said meeting Haley's eyes
"you tried to kill yourself?" Haley said placing her hands on Alex's
"yes! but when i woke up in the hospital my step dad paid a doctor to rule it an accidental overdose and to release me early. It stayed out of my medical records we made it home before my mom and no one ever found out" Alex said taking her hands from Haley.
"It doesn't make you crazy, when my mom died I was very depressed I stepped out into the pool and i didn't fight back i just kept falling but Nathan grabbed me and pulled me out! we are not crazy we were sick and that's okay because were getting better right?" Haley said seeing the change in the girls facial expressions Haley pulled Alex into her not letting go of the young girl she loved like a daughter they sat like that for a while before Haley had to ask
"what did he do to you?" Haley asked
"you don't want to know!" Alex said with a small sigh and a smile
"thanks for telling me!" alex said with a smile walking out the door.
"well if you need to talk to tell me thats okay too, i'm here to listen and no one will ever find out" haley said out hoping to get through to the girl.
Family
I have always been jealous of families I pictured to be perfect, I never looked deeper than the pretty outside shell. Sometimes the front cover is misleading. The word family in the dictionary is defined a group consisting of two parents and their children living together as a unit. This is what i had a dad a mom and me a perfect family in societies eyes yet behind closed doors was another story. I did not consider these people as my family to me family is the people you know will love you no matter what to me this was my best friends. As i have grown the size of my family has grown with me.
My family started as my father, my mother and I. Then it was just me and my mother. It grew again my step father and my mother and myself. Then suddenly without any warning it was just me! My friends however never changed the boy next door is still the boy that has never left my side. my partner in crime. The two girls i met at school are my sisters. This was my family.
Strangers, a person whom one does not know or with whom one is not familiar. This is the definition in the English dictionary. To me the definition of 'stranger' is family. Before six weeks ago to me Brooke Davis was the designer of one of the biggest clothing line, Nathan Scott was a legend of tree hill high and Haley Scott was just Mrs Scott our English teacher. Now Brooke Davis is my mom, Nathan my dad and Mrs Scott became Haley.
Before my life was invaded by strangers i have grown to love. I was forgotten by my mother beaten by my step father and loved by my friends. the scars of my parents hurtful words and sharp hands fading slowly but surely by the love that now drives my life. My family has changed and grown, friendships strengthened and I no longer carry a weight that is too heavy for my shoulders. I stand tall and confident i'm beautifully strong yet still tragically confused and i am grateful to the family that has picked me up time and time again and grateful to the family who are just getting to see how i often i fall down.
