Disclaimer: All the characters and all the good stuff in the story aren't mine...they belong to J. K. Rowling and I have no intention of stealing them.

(A/N I don't know how Halloween is celebrated in Great Britain so I just used American (U.S.) traditions instead)

Chapter Seven: Pumpkins

"Drop it already, Kira!" Lily yelled for the eighth time that day. "I already told you, it was just a nightmare, okay?"

"Okay, okay, I just want to help is all, gosh," Kira harumphed while folding her arms across her chest.

"Oh, come on, Kira, you aren't really going to get mad at me now are you?"

Kira just turned her back. "FINE THEN!" shouted Lily. "I'm going to go find the guys."

Lily walked down to the Great Hall, and sure enough, sitting in their usual spots were Sirius, James, Remus and Peter. As she neared the table she heard squealing, the kind usually received when talking to a three year old girl.

"Oh! It's HALLOWEEN! That means PUMPKINS!!!!"

"Come off it, Sirius, you need to learn how to act maturely."

"LILY! But Lily, its HALLOWEEN! That means PUMPKINS!!"

"Yes, yes it does."

Remus shook his head and turned to Lily, "He's been like this since six o'clock a. m. WHO bloody wakes up at six a. m. on a Saturday? He's mad, I'm sure of it this time, he's mad."

"Calm down, mate," soothed James, "Sirius just has a thing with pumpkins because they're orange."

"I'm not even going to ask."

"Lily," explained James in a voice that one would use when trying to explain to a child why one and one make two, "Orange is Sirius' favorite color this week and anything that's orange will excite him until he moves on to another color."

"Great !"

"H-h-h-ha-ha-ha s-sarc-casm."

"Peter sure is brilliant," James whispered to Remus who responded with a mere chuckle.

Lily settled down into her chair and sank deep into her thoughts. She was once again thinking about her dream and she couldn't seem to get away from it. During the day it haunted her and at night it kept coming back, she didn't know what to do. She tried once again to clear her mind, she couldn't let Kira find out what the dream was about, it would spill all of her secrets. But on the other hand, if she had the dream again...

Lily shook her head. She was through thinking about it, she'd just ignore the entire thing, skip sleeping for a few nights, and everything would be fine. She finally let a small smile creep up over her face.

"EARTH TO LILY!!!"

Lily looked curiously over at James, "Pardon?"

"Remus has only asked you fifty times-"

"How do muggles celebrate Halloween?"

"Are there PUMPKINS???? "

Lily giggled, "Yes, Sirius there are pumpkins. It's really fun actually. All the kids dress up in costumes and they go from house to house and say Ôtrick or treat' and the adults in the houses give them candy."

"I WANNA DO IT I WANNA DO IT!!!"

"Oh just shut the bloody hell up Sirius!"

"James," Sirius said sounding hurt, "I thought you were my friend, my buddy, my pal-"

"I am but I won't be for long if you don't shut it!"

Lily giggled. Kira finally came over, it had only been three quarters of an hour since she and Lily had had their argument.

"Can I talk to you?" Kira asked quietly.

"Yeah." Lily stood up and followed Kira up to the dorm. "Listen I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you, its just I don't really want to talk about the dream I had okay?"

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have been so nosy and I also shouldn't have gotten so upset when you didn't tell me. The only reason I asked is because you're my best friend and I don't want something to be bothering you. You know you can tell me anything. I'm here for you and I just want to help you to be your absolute happiest."

"Likewise," Lily said in barely a whisper.

"Well, in that case, I want to be honest with you. There is some stuff that I haven't really told anyone about, but as my best friend you should know." Lily eyed Kira trying to guess what in the world it could be. Was it anything like her secrets? Was it something worse?

Kira stifled a sob and then began. "When I was seven my older brother Robby who was nine and I decided to go play outside. It was the day before Christmas and there was tons of snow on the ground. So much that we had to have our mom conjure us some snowshoes so we could go play outside. We didn't realize how cold it was until we were well into the woods outside our house. Robby said he wanted to go back. He said that he didn't feel well and that the cold air was making it hard for him to breathe. I told him that the snow was perfect and there was no way I would turn around. ÔNever leave your sister alone.' My mom had told that to Robby the day he turned eight. She said that until I was ten he was never aloud to leave me alone. So grudgingly he agreed to stay out for a while and play with me. We had a great time, but after half an hour or so he said we should go back. I refused again. Told him he could go back on his own if he wanted but I wasn't tired yet. He said he'd stay and didn't ask to leave again, but I could tell he didn't want to be there. After a while he stopped playing and just waited for me to finish. I played for over an hour after he stopped playing, just to spite him and show him I wasn't afraid of the cold. We finally went home and once we got inside he started complaining again about not feeling well."

Kira paused at that point to compose herself before continuing. Lily was staring at her with complete and utter patience waiting for her to be able to continue.

"So my mom feels his forehead and says he's running a high fever so she sent him to bed. I felt really badly but there was no way I was going to tell him that I should have gone back earlier with him. A few days went by and he just got worse. Mom finally took him to St. Mungos and the healers told her he had pneumonia and that we'd just have to wait it out cause he was unresponsive to all the spells and potions they tried. That was when my mom realized that he truly was a squib. She took him to a muggle hospital and they gave him some medicine and told my mom that he needed to stay in bed until he was 100 percent better. My mom stayed right by his bed side every day. Sometimes I'd sit with him, too. But sometimes I would go off and play with my friends. One day a little over three weeks after he had gotten sick I came home to find my mom crying. Robby...Robby wasn't m-moving or anything." Kira stopped again and wiped the tears from her face. She took a few calming breaths and started again, "My mom told me what had happened. He had died. Right before he had given up he had told my mom that he loved her and then he said the same thing to my younger brother and asked my mom to tell my dad he loved him. Then he told Rikky that he had to look after me cause I'm a girl and someday there would be guys who would try to do things to do me and he would have to protect me. T-t-then my m-mom told me that h-he had told her to tell me that I w-w-was the best sister a-anyone could have and that he was lucky t-to have had me as long as he d-did. He said that even i-if he w-wasn't there any-anymore I'd s-still always b-be his ÔCh-cheeky Kiki S-sister'. God I m-miss him so much. And it's my fault, Lily, it's all my fault." Kira burst into tears.

It took Lily a few seconds to process everything. She engulfed Kira in a huge hug and patted her back. "Kira. Kira, you have to listen to me okay?" Kira nodded. "It's not your fault-"

"Yes it is, Lily! If I hadn't have made him stay out, he'd have been fine!"

"NO! Kira, listen to me! It may feel like it but its not your fault. He was sick, he would have been sick even if you guys hadn't gone out to play. You said he had said he felt icky before even going outside. He was already sick there wasn't anything you or anyone else could have don't to prevent it. Let me tell you something, okay?

"O-o-okay," Kira sniffed.

"My dad died when I was eight." Kira started to voice how sorry she was but Lily shushed her, "No, just let me talk. He died from cancer which is much more common in muggles than it is in witches and wizards, though I know it can occur in them as well. Anyway, I was convinced that I was the reason my dad had died. You see, when I was in kindergarten he and I had been playing together outside and he had fallen. He ended up not being able to get up and we had to take him to the ER. It was shortly after that that the results came back with the fact that he had cancer. I thought I was the reason he had gotten it because I was what had caused him to fall. I thought that if I hadn't made him fall he wouldn't have gotten cancer so I blamed myself for his death for three years. But I know now that he was sick. He wasn't sick from falling because he had been sick before that. No one could have prevented the inevitable. Same as with your brother. My dad wasn't my fault and your brother wasn't yours. No matter what anybody says, you have to understand that is the truth, okay?

Kira nodded. Both of the girls were crying now. After a while they just sat there. Each in their own thoughts. Neither one made any indication that they wanted dinner and they both just sat there, lost in their thoughts until well past 10 when their other dorm mates started coming back upstairs to go to bed.

"There you two are! We've been looking all around why didn't you come to dinner?

"Oh, sorry, Lizzy, we just kind of got lost in our heads. Besides we weren't very hungry.

"Okay, whatever, but you both look beat. You should get some sleep.

Lily and Kira both agreed and got themselves ready for bed. After she was ready, Lily slipped into her bed and drew the curtains around her. Then she pulled out her Diary and began to write:

I told Kira about Daddy. Well, not entirely. I left out a ton. But I
had to tell her something. She told me about her brother and how she
thought it was her fault he had died. I had to tell her that it wasn't and
she wouldn't have believed me unless I told her about Daddy. But I
didn't tell her about how I was the only one with him when he died. Or
how I got cancer, too. Or how I should have died with my cancer even
though Mummy told me that wasn't true. I'm glad Kira and I are best
friends. I know now that my life really isn't all that bad. I mean other
kids have to go through the same stuff and even worse. I need to be
less self centered. Anyway, I'm glad we could share that secret of
ours. I know I have others and maybe in time I'll share those too, but
not yet. Anyway, I'm going to try to stay awake all night tonight. That
dream I wrote about just won't go away. I'm not sure I can live with it
much longer. I have to try to not have it and not sleeping is the only
way to go about doing that. So I will probably just go study some
more now.

Much Love,
Lily

Lily re-locked her Diary and put it away once again. Then she pulled out her transfiguration book and began to study, hoping and praying not to fall asleep or if she did to at least not have that dream, no nightmare, again.

Sorry it took so long to update...I was in Europe. Anyway here is another chapter before I leave town again...maybe I will write one more before I leave but don't count on it. Anyway I'll post again for sure after I get home. Until then...REVIEW!!!!!!!!! Thanks