1At ten am the next morning, the Akatsuki were once again gathered in front of the car.

"So...who's driving?" Pein asked lazily. A number of hands went up. "Who knows how to drive and isn't blind," he added, remembering last time's mishap.

All of the hands went down.

Pein blinked. "Nobody?" Somehow, this didn't strike him as a good thing.

"Well...I guess we won't be going, then..." he muttered, sweatdropping.

"NO!" Konan suddenly hit Pein over the head. "We're going to beach, because I want to work on my tan, AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!!!!"

"But, Konan..." Pein protested.

"No buts! Now get in the car, I'm driving!"

"But...I don' wanna goooo..." Pein whined childishly.

The others looked at him weirdly.

Pein suddenly seemed to notice where he was. "I-I mean...um...OKAY, LET'S GO!!" he announced loudly.

////////////////////////////////////////

"So, Pein," Kisame started up.

"What?" Pein answered, looking up momentarily from where he was repeatedly writing "I don't want to die like this, someone please save me!!!" on a piece of scratch paper which he planned to throw out the window to a passerby as soon as possible.

"Why are you so scared?" the fish man wanted to know. "I mean, it's just Konan..."

"Exactly."

"Huh?"

"It's Konan." Pein turned to look gravely at Kisame. "Kisame, did I ever tell any of you how Konan got to be a missing nin?"

"No, all I know is that she killed over thirty people. Why?"

"Because, Kisame...those people didn't die from Konan's NINJA abilities."

Kisame paled considerably. "You mean..."

Pein nodded gravely. "I suggest you hold on tight."

///////////////////////////////

Less than a second later, the Akatsuki's van shot out of the driveway, wheels squealing in protest at the speed. Pein screamed girlishly and clung to Kisame.

"OH MY GOD I AM GONNA DIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"YOU'RE GONNA DIE?!?!?!?!?!!!!!! WHAT ABOUT ME?!?!??!??!!! I STILL HAVE TO FULFILL MY LIFELONG GOAL OF DESTROYING EVERY SUSHI RESTAURANT IN EXISTENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kisame screamed back, attempting to pry Pein off him.

Konan cheered loudly, pushing even harder on the gas pedal. "ISN'T THIS FUN, BOYS?!?!" she screamed happily, turning back to look at them.

Pein's eyes widened. "KONAN!!! EYES ON THE ROAD!!!!!! EYES ON THE ROA–oh, shit..." He hid his face in his hands as a black-haired teenager on a...broomstick?...was knocked flying.

"KONAN, YOU JUST HIT SOMEONE!!!"

"Did I? I hadn't noticed." She glanced out the side window nonchalantly and shrugged. "Ah, well, it was just a pedestrian."

///////////////////////////////////

Meanwhile, Voldemort was busy giving a rather happy rant to whoever would listen. "Did you see that? DID YOU SEE THAT?!?! ALL THIS TIME, HIM THINKING THAT HE COULD BEAT ME, THAT AVADRA KEDAVRA WOULDN'T WORK, AND YET, IN THE END, ALL IT TAKES IS ONE SPELL–"

"Sir," one of his Death Eaters cut in hesitantly, "In all actuality, sir, he appears to have been run over by a car going two-hundred-something miles per hour..."

"SHUT UP! HOW DARE YOU BRING THE DARK LORD BACK TO THE PITIFUL REALITY THAT HE LIVES IN!!! Wait..."

/////////////////////////////////////

Back in the car, Madara was laughing maniacally. "Speed! More speed! And death! GO FASTER!!! KILL EVERYBODY!!! LET ALL FEAR THE ABOMINATION THAT IS THE AKATSUKI'S DRIVING SKILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What...the hell, un..." Deidara muttered, eye twitching rapidly as he inched away from the masked man.

They went over a speed bump, causing the car to practically fly up into the air before crashing into the ground a split second later.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" all but Madara and Konan screamed. Pein tightened his grip on Kisame, causing him to turn some sort of unidentified color that's a precise blend of shark-man blue and holy-crap-I-can't-breathe blue.

"What the hell is wrong with you...get off me...Leader-sama..." Kisame gasped out, feeling his oxygen rapidly draining.

"Huh? Oh, sorry Kisame." Pein loosened his grip slightly.

"No, I mean...get off me."

"No."

"Why the hell not?" Kisame was losing his patience. This was NOT how the leader should act!

"Well..." Pein began sheepishly. "I left my kitten plushie at home."

Another speed bump.

"OH MY GOD, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"WHAT PART OF I CAN'T BREATHE WHEN YOU DO THAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!?!??!??!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU DUMBASS BASTARD?!?! THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, ANYWAY?!?!!!!"

"LISTEN, YOU, I KNOW YOU'RE THE LEADER, BUT–"

"...what? What did I do?"

"Uh..."

Next to them, Hidan blinked and waved sheepishly. "Hello, Jashin-sama. Lovely weather we're having, isn't it?"

Kakuzu sweatdropped. "Did you take your meds today, Hidan?"

"Meds?" Kisame asked blankly.

Hidan gave them a thumbs up and a Gai-and-Lee-esque smile. "I need no meds, for the POWER OF YOUTH AND JASHIN-SAMA ARE BOTH WITH ME!!!!"

Meanwhile, Sasori, Deidara, and "Tobi" were cowering in the back seat.

"I miss the old Hidan, un."

"Me too, Deidara, me too."

"Tobi is scared..."

///////////////////////////////////

After the fiasco with the car ride, the Akatsuki stepped out onto solid land.

"Oh, land, sweet land, how I missed you!!!" Zetsu cried, falling to his knees and kissing the ground repeatedly. The others murmured their agreement.

"Zetsu..." Konan started, looking worried.

"We will NEVER speak of this again," Pein muttered to Kisame in embarrassment, disentangling himself from the shark-man.

"Agreed."

"Had your medicine now, Hidan?"

"Fuck yeah." Hidan turned to Kakuzu. "And it's all thanks to the mighty power of Jashin-sama!"

"What the... Idiot."

"Zetsu..." Konan had her eyes on a big white dog, watching it in concern.

"Sasori? Sasori, un?" Deidara cautiously poked Sasori with his toe.

Sasori stayed huddled in the fetal position. "I want...sniff...my grandma...WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He began to cry.

"D-danna..." Deidara sweatdropped.

"ZETSU!!" Konan screamed, fed up with being ignored.

"What?"

"LOOK OUT!!!"

It was too late. Before Zetsu could turn around, a very big, very white, and very horny THING was practically on top of him.

"Well, it seems that a dog's love knows no bounds," Kakuzu stated in amusement, raising an eyebrow to emphasize.

"Oh, shut up, will you?!"

They suddenly noticed a brown-haired Konoha nin running towards them.

"Shit!!! AKAMARU!!!!"

The new ninja grabbed onto the dog, attempting to pull him off of the plant man. "I'm sorry, he"-grunt-"usually isn't"-heave-"like this."

"It's okay."

"We'll just eat him later."

//////////////////////////////////

AN: DO NOT ASK! Just, don't ask...seriously, I have no idea...

On another note, it seems I have a bit too much fun writing about car rides...I don't think that's healthy, somehow.

Anyways, I feel like this fic may be getting a bit repetitive, or something of the like. Maybe I should wrap it up soon and move on to the sequel...? I don't know, what do you guys think?

And, yes, I seriously have and idea for a sequel.