Thank you all for reading :D
None of this is Beta'd. Please excuse any obvious mistakes.
Disclaimer: SM Owns Twilight. I like to play with E&B and make them mommy and daddy :)
Ch7
"Baby, what's wrong?" I ask her. She's sitting in the kitchen crying. "Bella, come here." I lean down and pull her into my arms. She buries her face in my neck and sobs.
It breaks my heart.
"Shhh…baby."
I carry Bella upstairs and I sit on our bed with her in my lap. I rub her back as she cries and hiccups.
"E-Edward." She cries and fists my shirt.
"Bella calm down. Take a deep breath." She does. "Tell me."
That's all I want. I want her to just…tell me.
I give her some time to get it together. She struggles with herself, while I feel like a stranger looking in.
Eventually she calms down some and pulls away from my neck. It's now wet from her tears and snot.
"I'm a horrible wife…and a terrible mother." She looks at her hands and the tears just run steadily down her face.
"Baby." I lift her chin up to meet her eyes—she's so sad and desperate in a way. "You are the best wife and mother." She starts to shake her head but I hold her face still and kiss her cheeks, wiping away the tears. "You are." I insist. "Now, tell me why you feel like that. How can I help you?"
Her lip quivers.
"I don't know why." She cries into her hands. "I-I hate myself." She presses the palms of her hands onto her eyes, and rubs hard.
Why would she hate herself?
My heart starts beating fast, and I don't know what to do. What to say. I hold her tight.
"Baby, don't talk like that."
"It's true." She whispers. "I don't feel like doing anything anymore. I'm…I'm just stuck here—at home. And god, the kids drive me fucking crazy! But I feel so bad that I feel that way." I'm glad that she's talking to me…finally. "And you." She stands and places her hands on her hips. She's pissed now. "You don't help me!" she screeches. "I'm a single mother all of a sudden. What the fuck Edward? I didn't knock myself up; you just depend on me to do everything for the kids."
She paces. And she's thinking. Probably of all the stuff I haven't done.
Well fuck. I'm on the hot seat.
And I know I haven't been as…helpful as I should. It's just that she's so good at it—she always has everything under control.
"I'm sorry." I tell her.
She laughs but it's not happy. It's kinda creepy actually.
"I don't want an apology, Edward! I want you to help me. Fucking try once in a while!" I don't even know what that means. I'm here for her and I provide for my family.
"What exact—"
She cuts me off. "I would gladly give you a list. But the gist of it, help me with the day to day stuff. Get the kids ready in the mornings a few days out of the week, fix us breakfast, pick a room and clean it, or throw in a fucking load in the washer…just something. I do it all. And I'm sick of it! I'm not some fucking maid around here! I didn't bust my ass to get my Masters to be treated like one."
"I know you're not a maid." I stand and pull her in towards me. "Baby, calm down. If you don't want to clean the house, then don't. I don't expect you to. If you want to go back to work, we said you would after Matt turned three…but you can go sooner." She pulls away from me, anger flashing in her eyes.
"You don't fucking get it! It's not about me cleaning, it's about you. I need you to get off your ass once in a while and help me keep the house clean and the kids fed and-"
This pisses me off.
"I work, Bella! I pay the bills and pay for this house that you chose." I point out the window." I pay for your fucking BMW out in the driveway!"What else does she want? I work my ass off to give her the best. The kids want for nothing.
She has tears streaming down her face.
"I appreciate everything you've given us, but It's not about that. I'm perfectly capable of providing for my family too, but I chose to stay with my kids until they were old enough to go to school. Yes, that was my choice. But it's fucking hard and I'm trying to tell you that I need help! When is the last time I asked you for help, Edward? If I'm asking, it means I'm already drowning and I'd rather just give up than keep fighting alone." She whispers.
I'm at a loss. She would rather give up?
All this time, I've been trying to be there for my family…for her. And she feels alone.
