Sorry for the long wait and thanks again to PiOneOneZero. Almost done...
The Tiggi left them eventually and B'Elanna's team was finally able to begin putting together the ablative generator technology. Life settled into normalcy once more and Kathryn felt at peace for the first time in years. Being honest with herself and finally being able to act on her feelings for Chakotay had made all the difference.
She began planning the next steps of her plan to get home. Even with the new technology, stealing a Borg transwarp coil was going to be risky and she wanted to be prepared for every eventuality. She was planning at her desk one evening when Chakotay came out of the bedroom, pulling on his uniform jacket.
"Kathryn, I'm going to go to Astrometrics. You'll never believe what Seven has just found. It's going to make Neelix a very jubilant Talaxian."
"Oh no. You've got to be kidding me."
"I wish I were, but it's all true. A planet with leola root as far as the eye can see. Lots of other foodstuffs too."
"Well, let me know the details."
"I want to go with you, Daddy! Can I go? I want to look at the scans in Astrometrics."
"All right, you can come. We'll see you in a little bit."
Teddy watched them go without protest. Tuvok had given him a ball to play with at school today and he was still engrossed with it. He brought it to Kathryn and she rolled it across the length of the room. Teddy chuckled and ran after it, bringing it back to Kathryn. Babies certainly were easy to entertain at times. She rolled it again and this time it went under the couch. Teddy's jaw dropped and she laughed at his bemused expression. He screeched in dismay and turned to her.
"Mama. Ball!"
"It's under the couch. Try and get it yourself. It didn't roll very far."
"Mama, ball!"
He pointed and she nodded her head.
"Yes, now reach down and get it yourself. Try first and then I'll help you."
Teddy squatted down low, one chubby hand poking under the couch. He fished out a sock, a book, and a wine glass. It couldn't be the same one. It just couldn't, but Kathryn got up to check anyway, her blood turning to ice. She took the glass away from Teddy and pressed her hand against her mouth. It was the same glass Q had brought with him the night he appeared in her hotel room. She had drunk from it while he refilled it for her repeatedly. He had never shown himself since that morning in her ready room. Why would this glass appear now? How had it shown up? She swooped Teddy into her arms and hugged him to her chest protectively, ignoring his protests. He was getting big now, more independent than ever, but he still nursed with her every night, his brown eyes locked with hers as he stroked her cheek or clutched her uniform shirt.
"Let's go find Daddy and Millie. Let's see what they're up to."
He held her hand while they walked to the turbolift. She called out their destination and tapped her foot anxiously when the turbolift slowed to a stop to admit another passenger. It was Q. She grabbed her baby again and held him to her tightly as Q entered the turbolift and the door closed behind him, urgently tapping her comm badge.
"Intruder alert!" Of course, nothing happened. "What are you doing here? What do you want?"
Q smiled at her, but it wasn't his usual mocking smile.
"I just came to tell you that it's over. Almost four months. Not bad. I thought it would take you much longer, but you've always been a quick learner, haven't you?"
"No, Q. You have no right to go around interfering with people's lives like this. Just go away and leave us alone. Please. I'll beg, I'll do whatever is necessary."
Jean-Luc Picard had once begged Q to save the Enterprise from the Borg and it had worked. She wasn't above doing the same thing to save her family. But Q shook his head while Teddy wiggled and protested his confinement.
"Down, Mama, down."
"This was only a glimpse, Kathy. I was quite clear about that. I told you it was temporary."
"But you can do whatever you want. You can just leave us here."
"It doesn't work that way. It's only a glimpse and now it's served its purpose.
"Are you doing this to be cruel to me? Why?"
"No, I'm doing you a favor. I helped you learn something and now you can go back to your real life with your eyes wide open. Everything will be back to normal tomorrow and it will all be up to you. Have a good evening, Kathy."
He vanished with a flash of light and Teddy stopped whining, startled by the sudden brightness. She took a moment to regain her composure and they continued on to Astrometrics. Seven was helping Millie to display images of a planet on the display screen while Chakotay watched with a smile. Millie's face lit up and she waved enthusiastically.
"Hi. Mommy! Hi, Teddy Bear! Look at all of the leola root! I'm going to go help Neelix dig it up. Daddy said I can."
"Did he?"
Chakotay nodded. "I just gave the order to change course. It looks like we'll be able to gather a variety of produce and get some shore leave in, too. It's been months and I think we could all do with a break, especially after the attack."
"That's good."
She shivered and Chakotay frowned.
"Are you feeling all right?"
"I'm fine. I just...I missed you and Millie."
"Why don't we go to the mess hall and get some ice cream? We've got enough replicator rations again."
"Yes! I want vanilla with chocolate syrup! Teddy wants a little cone!"
Millie ran to the door and jumped up and down impatiently.
"Captain, there is a matter I would like to discuss with you before you leave. It won't take long."
She felt as if all the air was being squeezed out of her lungs. It might be a good idea to take a minute to herself, although she didn't know how she would be able to hold a conversation with Seven.
"Of course, Seven. Here, Chakotay, take Teddy."
She knelt down and kissed his chubby little cheek. Chakotay swept him up and placed him on his shoulders. Teddy screamed with delight and she watched Chakotay leave with the children, all three of them waving at her.
"Captain?"
"I'm sorry, I'm a little distracted." She turned to face Seven. "What did you need?"
"I had a … personal matter to discuss with you." Seven shifted position, looking distinctly uncomfortable. "Axum wishes for us to change our relationship from that of friends and colleagues to a more intimate association."
"I see. Well, you had a relationship like that in Unimatrix Zero. You already know you're compatible in that way."
"Yes, that is correct, but it is different here on Voyager. I have observed the romantic couplings onboard and have seen how some relationships end quickly while others are more enduring."
"What's your point, Seven? I don't mean to rude, but I need to go be with my family."
"Of course. I merely wanted to know if you believe it is possible for me to form a successful relationship. In my years on Voyager, I have observed how you and the Commander serve as role models in that capacity and I would like your advice on the matter."
"Role models?"
"Yes. Lieutenant Torres has told me more than once that she was only inspired to tell Lieutenant Paris of her feelings for him after seeing how you and the Commander were able to do so while still serving together. Billy Telfer has also expressed similar sentiments and Crewman Golwat has told me that she only decided to procreate after you did. She feels that you have been a better captain since you became a mother and that you have fostered an environment conducive not only to creating families, but also to living full lives, rather than merely focusing on the needs of the ship."
"Oh. Listen, Seven, I think you're a remarkable woman and capable of accomplishing anything you put your mind to. If you want to explore something more with Axum, then you should. It may not work out, but at least you'll know you tried. You don't want to look back at this point in your life and regret not having tried and wonder about what might have been."
"Thank you. I believe I will go speak to Axum. Have a good evening with your family."
She was a hypocrite to tell such things to Seven. She hadn't tried at all with Chakotay and she had attempted to hide from the regret of that decision for the past year. And now she would have to return to her empty life.
They were waiting for her in the mess hall. Teddy's ice cream cone was melting and he squealed and tried to hold it out of reach when Chakotay went after him with a napkin. Millie stood on her chair and hollered across the room to Neelix about their upcoming leola root expedition. Chakotay gave up on Teddy and brought Kathryn a bowl of coffee ice cream. He kissed her on the cheek absently as he set the bowl in front of her.
"Do you need anything else, sweetheart?" he asked.
"No, I have everything I need."
She hooked her ankle around Chakotay's under the table, trying to absorb as much of him as she could. They returned to their quarters once they were finished and Kathryn bathed Teddy first. The ice cream had wound up in his hair and he giggled and squealed as she washed it out. She dressed him in a blue footed sleeper and held him close, breathing in the scent of his thick dark hair. He really was a teddy bear, so cuddly and plump and comforting. Her baby. Millie bathed herself and climbed into her bed, clamoring for Kathryn. They read for a long time, Teddy nursing himself to sleep and then Millie dropped off. Kathryn ran her fingers through Millie's hair and traced her upturned nose. Finally, she carried Teddy to his crib and went to her bedroom.
Chakotay was sprawled out with a stack of padds next to him and a half sandwich for her. She pulled off her clothes and crawled next to Chakotay in only her tank top and panties.
"I'm already putting together the shore leave rotations. I'm going to ask B'Elanna and Tom if they want to trade babysitting. We might actually get an afternoon by ourselves. Here, eat your sandwich."
"I had ice cream. I'm not hungry, but thank you for thinking of me." She watched him frown and enter information into his padd, then shake his head and delete what he had just entered. "Chakotay, give me that padd."
"Hmm? Since when do you want to work on shore leave rotations?"
"Since never. I just want you to pay attention to me."
She dumped all of his padds onto the nightstand and set the plate with the sandwich on top. Chakotay grinned and pulled her against him, one hand moving under her tank top to stroke her stomach.
"You want some attention, huh? I've got plenty of attention to give."
"I want you to tell me a story. Tell me about our first night together. Tell me how it happened "
She still didn't know the details. It was one of those private things that didn't belong in the logs. All she knew was that it had to have happened on New Earth, most likely the night he told her his story and then held her hand. She had to know how they had gotten it right in this timeline.
"The best night of my life. Our turning point. All right. Well, Voyager came back for us and we went straight to the bridge. We were both dressed in our uniforms, your hair was back up in a bun, and you gave me orders as if the past three months had never happened. Neelix had a welcome party for us in the mess hall and I had to pretend to be perfectly happy when I was inwardly raging at the injustice of it all. As soon as the party was over, I went to my quarters to unpack and I got madder and madder at you. You had acted so serene at the party, so unaffected. You didn't even look at me."
So it hadn't happened on New Earth after all. Chakotay was almost laughing as he told the story because for him it had a happy ending, but not for Kathryn. She remembered that party all too well. She had felt cheated and angry at her crew and then guilty for feeling that way. She should be grateful that her crew wanted her back so much. They could have taken the opportunity to be rid of her forever—after all, she had stranded them in the Delta Quadrant—and instead, they had risked their lives to bring her back. They deserved nothing less than her devotion and full attention. There was no room for anything or anyone besides her people and her ship.
"My door chime rang and it was you. You were still in your full uniform with your hair up, but your eyes were enormous and you were clenching your jaw so tightly that my own jaw ached. I let you in and you just stared at me. I had promised myself I wouldn't push you and I would go along with whatever you decided, so I waited and you finally whispered it."
"I love you," Kathryn breathed. At that point in time, she hadn't admitted to herself that she loved him, but she had longed to go to him. In this timeline she had acted on that longing and she had realized her true feelings for Chakotay. And she had changed everything with that one simple decision.
"And once you told me that, all bets were off. I hadn't pushed you, but I wasn't going to let you get away. I carried you to my bed and we loved each other all night long. We made our Millie that night. I'll always be grateful that the Doctor didn't realize all the side effects of the Vidiian cure."
"Show me, tell me exactly what we did that first time."
"All right. I kissed you like this first. And then I pulled your hair down and I took off your uniform. And I touched you here." His fingertips traced her body and he sucked her neck. "And I kissed you here and I worked my way down, licking you all the way and you moaned just...like...that. Oh, Kathryn..."
She wouldn't let him put on any clothes afterward. She needed to run her fingers over his hot and smooth skin and press kisses to him everywhere she could reach. But eventually, he fell asleep. He looked so peaceful. She pulled on a robe and went to watch the children sleep. Her children, her babies. She kissed them and whispered her love to them. Back in her bedroom, she pressed up behind Chakotay, holding him to her, relishing in the heat he gave off. She stayed awake for a long time, but eventually her eyes grew heavy and she slept.
TBC
