Author's Note: Sorry this chapter took a while to get out but I really struggled with the content of this one. And I know some of you are frustrated by all the secrecy going on but I promise you that there are answers coming in the near futre if things go the way I think they are. So stick with me. I promise I won't leave you in the dark forever. And I know that some of you are confused about the relationships (specifically Edward and Bella... especially after this chapter) but there is a lot to the story and like I said we will get there (and I would also love to hear what you think is going on because I find a lot of you are much more perceptive than I sometimes think). This story is just as much about the present as it is the past and all your questions will be answered. And thank you for all your reviews, they really make me smile and help me to find some inspiration to write!

Chapter 7

Tidal Wave

It should have felt more awkward than it did. I was wrapped loosely in the towel Edward had placed around me, his arms resting softly on my shoulders. He was standing in a large pool of water as his soaking clothes dripped. And our eyes were locked onto one another's. In his bright green orbs I could see the pain that had been hiding before. "God, Bella," he cried taking a step forward and closing the distance between us. I could feel the cold moisture of his clothes against the areas where my flesh was still exposed. "It kills me to see you like this. It absolutely kills me to see you this sad and not be able to help you," he breathed. He was so close to me, the beads of water dripped from the ends of his hair and fell onto my nose.

"You can help me. You can stay the night." I bit my lip and looked away from him. I felt guilty playing on his emotions to get what I want. But I've already told him that tonight I am being selfish. "Please. I don't want to be alone."

"Anything," he agreed.

"Then you take this," I said shuffling out of the towel and handing it to him. "I at least have dry clothes to wear." I know I should have been bashful about my nakedness around him. I used to be so shy around people. I blushed at the mere thought of being nude. But now... none of that seemed to matter anymore. Edward turned his back to me and allowed me to redress in private. When I was dressed again I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around him from behind. "You need to get out of these wet clothes," I demanded, pulling the hem of his shirt up. He turned back towards me and helped me to remove his shirt. "And your pants," I requested. You can't go to bed in soaking wet pants."

"Bella," he began to protest. "I don't think..." he trailed off, unable to make up his mind. So I made it up for him. My hand trembled as it fell the buckle of his pants.

"You walked in on me while I was in the shower. You watched me and you joined me and you kissed me all while I was naked. But you're a little bashful about being seen in your underwear?" I mocked him. "You can stay in your boxers, it shouldn't be too uncomfortable. They'll dry fast. We'll hang your clothes in the shower and hope they dry by morning." He let his pants fall to the ground and he stepped out of them. He quickly wrapped the towel around his waist and we finally moved out of the bathroom.

"I'll sleep on the couch," Edward insisted as he grabbed a pillow and a blanket.

"No," I said shaking my head. "Stay in the bed. With me," I requested as I crawled under the covers.

"Bella," he sighed. It sounded like a protest but he dropped the towel and got under the blankets with me. He faced me and we locked eyes once more.

"I told you I don't want to be alone. I'm so tired of being alone. I know it's my own doing but... no one gets it. No one gets me like you do. You were there. You get it. You understand." A tear slipped from my eye as he wrapped one arm around me.

Edward quickly wiped it away for me. "What are we doing?"

"I don't know," I cried even harder as I inched even closer to him. "And I don't care either." I buried my face in the crook of his neck. He reached in between us his fingers gently cupping under my chin softly lifting and making my eyes meet his again. And suddenly his lips were on mine. He moved slowly, starting out soft and tentative but it quickly gained intensity as his tongue plunged into my mouth. I moved my lips against his and for the first time since everything started, I was still. My mind didn't race. The tears calmed. And for just that one second everything was quiet and still. I was completely at ease. I found peace inside his arms. And with that peace came something else. Something unexpected. I was consumed with something that I thought I'd never experience again. Desire. I wasn't planning it but it felt right.

It was fast but not rushed. It was kind of perfect. There wasn't time for thinking or analyzing. We just did what we wanted. My hands tangled in his wet hair. His lips teased my neck. His hands traveled under my shirt and up my ribcage. Our legs tangled and I could feel the cold wetness of his shorts on my thighs. He lifted my shirt above my head and tossed it across the room and he immediately went to work on my bra. And as soon as he removed my bra his hands cupped my breasts. I brought my body even closer to his, wanting to feel every inch of his body against mine. I wriggled out of my jeans but managed to keep my hungry lips to his. I reached one hand between us and pulled down on the elastic hem of his boxers.

And suddenly Edward pulled away. "Bella, I can't," he said breathlessly. "We shouldn't."

I looked into his eyes, feeling the tears again begin to pool. "So now it matters?" I question, my voice holding an angry edge. "Now you care that you have a girlfriend-a fiancee."

"No," he argued. "Yes. Of course it matters. But that's not why."

"So you're just an asshole then?" I spat. "You're willing to cheat on Tanya but not with damaged goods like me?"

He furrowed his brow as he shouted out his frustrations. "Bella, what are you talking about?"

"What are you talking about?" I snapped. "What are you so afraid of? Why can't you? What's stopping you?" I babbled.

"I'm sorry but I just can't. It wouldn't be right."

"You're confusing me. Inside you were different. You wanted different things. You wanted me and you said Tanya didn't matter. Now I'm throwing myself at you and you say she does matter. But that's not the reason why you won't go through with this? And the only thing I can think of is that you don't want me after..." I paused. I couldn't say it. I was still struggling with it.

But Edward saved me. "That's not it at all. You're just so...sad. I don't know. I don't want you to do this like this. You're rushing. I'm rushing. That's not what this should be. It's not fair to either of us. And Tanya. I don't know," he rambled. "I don't know what I'm really doing anymore. I don't want to take advantage of you. I don't want to hurt you. I'm hate seeing you like this but I am not going to keep hurting you. I know you don't see it that way right now but tomorrow morning you may see it differently."

I ignored his arguments and continued with mine. "You don't want to be the first to be with me after..." I trailed off again unable to finish my sentence. "But I don't want him to be the last man to touch me."

He pulled me in for a hug and kissed the top of my head. "It's been a long day, baby," he ended the argument with a change of subject. "Let's get some sleep."

I bit my lower lip in concession. We would end the war with a peaceful stalemate. At least for the moment. Because neither one of us was wrong. But that didn't make either one of us right. I rolled over on to my other side and faced away from him. "Will you at least hold me?" I asked softly.

He didn't respond with words but I felt his arms wrap around me tightly. He kissed my neck and back before I heard a soft telltale snore. And soon after I felt myself fall into sleep as well.

XXXXX

The night progressed slowly. The babies slumbered in their beds. The young children slept peacefully on their cots. The older children slept on the gym mats, along with the few parents that were trapped. The staff used the extra crib mattresses.

Emmett was the only one left awake in the gym, keeping watch on everything else. He had refused to sleep and allowed everyone else to try to get some rest. Try, being the key word. He would go to the comfort and aide of a child that would wake screaming. Making sure that everyone stayed where they were supposed to be. He paced around, brain reeling, trying to find a way out of it.

I sat in the kitchen area, a slumbering infant cradled to my chest. It was all I could do to keep myself from falling apart. To be that close to something so small and so helpless helped to give me some courage. He was something that needed me to remain strong to protect him. Edward sat across from me, stealing quick filled with sadness in my direction. I couldn't help but feel as if he were watching me, babysitting me. Waiting to come to my rescue when my walls all would come crumbling down. But I tried not to notice. If I were to give him the attention he wanted then he would only push for more. But the more I tried to not notice him, the more he seemed to notice me. So I gave in and spoke to him, but it was going to be on my terms. "What's the first thing you're going to do when you get out of here?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "I haven't really thought about that part yet."

"I can't decide," I spoke softly. "I have a whole list but I'm still working out the order. Have a smoke. Have a drink, or ten. Take a shower. I think that is number one. I'm covered in..." I trailed off. We both knew about the blood I was covered in, both mine and Maria's and didn't really need the reminder. So I continued with my list. "Eat everything I have in my house. And mostly just bawl my eyes out."

"Bella," he cried making his way towards me.

"Stop it!" I shouted in a hushed tone. "I don't need you to do this for me. I'm a grown woman. I'm fine. Stop worrying about me and start worrying about you. You have people counting on you and... I told you stay out of the way and stay away from me."

"I can't. I'm not going to go and do something stupid. But I'm not going to abandon you."

"Sticking with me is stupid," I reminded him. "They have it out for me. I pissed them off and… I don't want them to take anything out on you. They can do whatever they want to me." I shrugged. "But you…and everyone else. It's not fair. And I'm not going to let it happen to any of you."

"Stay out of the spotlight. Leave them alone and they'll leave you alone."

"I can't. I started this whole mess and I've got to get us out. I can't sit back and wait for help. Help isn't coming. They can't come. They won't risk the lives of the kids."

"Bella, it's late. It's been a long hard day for you. Maybe you should lie down. I think it will make you feel better. I think I can handle it in here until Alice's shift would start."

I shook my head. "No. I'm fine," I argued. "I don't want to sleep. I'm..." I trailed off. I didn't want to admit how scared I was.

"I'm sorry." Edward breathed.

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

"You're hurt."

"That had nothing to do with you." I smirked. "That was me and my big mouth again."

"I should have stopped them. I will from now on. I won't let them hurt you anymore."

I bit down on my lip and looked away from Edward. Tears clouded my vision. "Don't," I whispered. "There was nothing that you could have done. And if you tried… I don't know what he would do to you. So I'm glad you didn't. Let me do what I have to do and you stay out of it," I pleaded again. "I can take whatever happens. Just let it go."

Edward leaned closer to me. "How much more are you going to take?"

"I'm fine. I'll be fine. And I can take it," I insisted. "They can only hurt me if I let them. And I'm not going to let them." A long pause pushed us away and I spoke just to stop it. "Jacob sent me a message. Telling me that he loves me and he's praying for me. And all this bullshit that just doesn't sound right. That's not Jacob. He doesn't do that. He doesn't pray or anything." I sighed. "We're just going through the motions. He's saying that because he's supposed to. That's what the lover of someone in my situation is supposed to say, so he does. He doesn't mean it." I shook my head. "It's funny." I smiled and wiped a stray tear from my cheek. "You think that this is supposed to make us closer. Make me miss the simple things. Finally find all his quirks endearing. Value and appreciate the love we share. You know that whole thing, you love something you let it go. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. All that shit. But that's all it is, is shit. Everything that I thought mattered before, doesn't."

"Is that your way of saying you give up?"

I shook her head delicately. "No. It's my way of saying that I feel lost now. My whole life is a ship out at sea and I fell overboard. I'm stuck in the middle of the ocean with nothing to hold on to."

Edward shrugged. "You've got me."

"Stop," I interjected rather loudly. "Stop trying to save me. Or whatever it is you are doing. I told you-"

"And I don't care what you told me," Edward shouted at me in a hushed tone. "You don't get to make my decisions for me. This isn't some kind of hero complex, this is about doing the right thing. You aren't the only one who gets to do that. You can't be the only one to make sacrifices." He watched me open my mouth to protest. "And don't you dare interrupt me to argue because I'm not going to listen to anything you have to say. I'm not going to let you get hurt anymore."

"I don't think you're going to have a choice on that one." We both jumped at the sound of Nemo's voice. He smiled at us for only a brief second. "Come with me." He pointed to me.

I shook my head defiantly. "I've got to watch the babies."

Nemo shrugged. "They're all sleeping. Let Mr. Super Hero do it."

"No," Edward interrupted. "Let Bella stay and watch them. I'll help you."

"I don't think so." Nemo marched forward and grabbed my arm, pulling me along with him. Edward jumped up and ran in front of Nemo.

"Edward, you should sit down and listen." I looked deeply into his eyes.

"I think you should listen to the lady," Nemo agreed.

Edward held his ground. "Not this time."

Nemo locked eyes with Edward and neither one of them conceded any ground. "Then I guess we're going to have a little detour." Nemo smiled, grabbing Edward and dragging us both with him.

XXXXX

It was the first night in over a month where I slept soundly. I wasn't restless or fidgety. And I wasn't plagued by nightmares. I opened my eyes to find Edward already out of bed. And from what I could tell he was in the bathroom cursing about something. I got out of the bed and I found myself in no more than a pair of panties. I was reminded of last nights events. Edward had rejected me. He didn't want to take advantage of my vulnerable state, or so he claimed. He argued that I would feel differently in the morning. And I didn't. The only thing I regretted is the fact that it didn't go farther. If only I could get him to understand my reasons.

I dressed quietly and walked towards the bathroom. The door was open and I leaned against the wall spying on Edward. He had his back to me, still dressed in only his underwear. He was grabbing at his clothes hung over the shower rod cursing madly. And I couldn't help but laugh. He jumped up startled by the sound. "It's not fucking funny," he snapped at me angrily. "My fucking clothes are still fucking wet. So what the fuck am I supposed to fucking wear?"

"It's a little funny," I sighed. "And it's your own damn fault. I didn't ask you to climb into the shower with your clothes still on."

"Fuck!" he cursed loudly. "I know it's my own damn fault. A lot of things are my own damn fault but I don't how to keep..." he sat down on the side of the tub. "My life is is ruins and I don't know what to do about it."

"Join the club." I shrugged. "Does your offer still stand?" I changed the subject. He furrowed his brow in confusion. "Can I still... It would only be temporary," I stammered. "Would it be too weird now? I don't have to. I have other places I can go. Maybe stay with my mom for awhile. Or I don't know. I'll figure it out. Never mind." I turned around to leave him.

He quickly jumped up and grabbed my arm to stop me. "No. I didn't mean it like that. Of course you can stay with me-us-Tanya and I. I would be mad if you backed out on me now," he said with a smirk. "It'll be good. We'll help each other." His hand traveled down my arm and grabbed my hand. "We'll figure this out together."

My heart raced and I felt the sting of tears again. "Stop," I cried. "Just stop." I pulled my hand away from his. "Stop stringing me along. I can't do this on and off thing with you. It's killing me. I just want... You can't have it both ways, Edward."

"I know," he said hanging his head. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "Just forget about it. And let's get out of here," he suggested, stepping into his pants. "I'll take you to your place so you can pack what you need then we can go home."

"Edward," I sighed. "I don't think... Maybe you should just take me to get my car. I think that maybe moving in with you might be a bad idea. I mean look at how these past twelve hours went. It wasn't exactly ideal."

"Bella, it's fine. You need this. We need this. Like I said, we need to figure this stuff out and..." I wanted to argue but his angry glare stopped me before the words even came.

I sighed heavily. "Just drop me at my car. I can manage getting my things myself," I conceded. "You should go home and spend some time with Tanya."

"Bella, please stop fighting with me."

"I'm not fighting. But you've made your choice. So now go be with your family."

I heard a low groan escape from him. "Bella," he growled closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. "Why can't we just be? Can't we just be simple? Why does everything have to be so complicated for us? Do we have to define everything? Can't I just want to help you with no strings attached?" His eyes met mine and silently pleaded.

"Nothing about this- about us is simple. That got thrown out the door a long time ago. We both did things that... we can't forget. It's changed us. And I really don't think we can go back so lets stop trying. You go and do your thing and I'll do mine." My lips turned down to a frown. I bit my lip to try to keep the tears from coming. It was becoming all I did. I looked away from him to hide my sadness.

There was a long pause between us. "I think my time would be better spent with you. I have to... I want to help you." He delicately put his fingers to my chin and forced me to look at him as a single tear fell from my eye. The pad of his thumb gently brushed it away. "What is wrong with me? I promised that I would never let anyone hurt you again but here we stand... you're hurting and it's my doing."

"I'm fine," I said pulling away from him. "Let's just go and get this over with. I don't want to drag this out anymore. We both have other shit we have to do." And it was over. He dressed in his wet clothes and we were out the door. The drive to Charlie's house was silent. We weren't ready to discuss the things we needed to discuss. We were both very good procrastinators. "You just stay here. I'll only be a minute. I don't have much that I want to get," I told him as I walked away quickly.

I used my key to unlock the door and walked inside. I jumped and dropped my keys in fright when I found Jacob lying on the couch. "Oh," I breathed. "I... You... You shouldn't be here," I finally managed to speak.

"I know," he sighed taking a long drink from the beer can in his hand.

"That's very brave of you," I spoke softly ignoring the bigger picture at hand. "My father is the Chief of police and you're drinking his beer, in his house, while you're underage."

"I'll be 21 in less than a month. And I think I've earned this," he said, raising his can to me.

I ignored him. "And what are you still doing here? I thought I made myself pretty clear that you weren't welcome anymore."

He looked away from me and took another long drink of his beer. "I was hoping that you changed your mind. You do that a lot now. You're becoming slightly bipolar. And I guess I can't really blame you."

"I didn't. I won't. Change my mind that is. It's time for you to move on and move out. There is nothing left for you here, Jacob." I walked past him but paused when I got to the staircase. I was expecting him to be angry but instead he was so sad and defeated. It seemed to be going around. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to be like this but..." I stopped. There really wasn't a good way to end the sentence so I just stopped.

"Bella, I don't know what happened to you and I get that it's hard for you to share. But damnit, Bella. We were engaged didn't you think I deserved to know?"

It didn't take long after that for me to stop feeling sorry for him and start being angry. "No, you don't deserve to know shit. Did you really think that me telling you what happened would help us? I tried to keep it bottled up inside of me because I knew you wouldn't get it. You wouldn't understand. You wouldn't be able to see me for me anymore. All you'd see is all the bad things that happened. All the things that I did and that happened to me. Those things don't define me. Or at least they shouldn't so I wanted to leave them behind. But you don't get that. You don't care about me and what I want or what I need. But you're too selfish to see that. You have your own selfish reasons for wanting to know and I don't get it. What good does it do? I just can't do it anymore." We stared into each other's eyes until the anger began to dissipate. "It doesn't matter anyway. We're done. This is over. Get over it."

"Get over it? You broke up with me for no reason at all," he argued.

"I have reasons. I have a lot of fucking reasons and I don't have to justify them to you. It's over. We're over."

"Bella, please," he pleaded. "I love you. And I'm here for you. I just want to be a part of your life. Every part of your life."

"I'm pregnant," I blurted out, interrupting him. I regretted it the instant I saw the look on Jacob's face. I immediately corrected myself. "Don't worry. It's not yours. It's just one of those things that you wouldn't understand. Are you starting to get it now?"

Edward choose that moment to walk in through the front door unannounced. "You've taken more than a minute so I figured I might as well help. In your condition you shouldn't be doing any lifting anyway..." he stopped when he entered the room and found me and Jacob.

"Yeah," Jacob sighed. "I'm starting to get it." He clenched his jaw in anger as he stared between Edward and I. "Fucking forget it!" he exclaimed standing from the sofa. "I guess I'll be on my way. You know, you could have just told me you were fucking someone else now and it would have made this mess a whole lot easier," he spat as he stormed past me.

"Jake," I called out after him. "Wait, its not what you..." but I didn't finish. It didn't really matter what he thought. So I just watched him walk out the door in anger.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked me softly as he came to my side.

I nodded. "Yeah, thanks." I began to walk up the stairs to my bedroom. "Like I said I don't have much so this shouldn't take long." I gathered some clothes and a few toiletries and paused in the middle of the room. "Will I need blankets and such?"

"No," Edward shook his head. "Unless you want them. And if you don't like what I have we can always buy you whatever you need or want."

"I don't need you to buy me things," I argued. "You're doing enough. Too much actually."

"It's the least I can do," he said closing the distance between us in just a few short strides. "I have a lot I have to make up for." He placed his hands on my cheeks and stared into his eyes. I could see his green eyes glisten with tears. "Bella," he breathed bringing his face close to mine. Our cheeks brushed softly against one anothers. He turned just slightly and brought his lips to my cheek.

I whimpered softly. "I asked you to stop that." I pulled away from him. My brow knitted together and I bit my lip to try to keep myself from crying. "Let's just go. I have stuff I want to do. And you need some practice on how to be appropriate around me. Because I don't think that Tanya would appreciate all the touching and kissing and especially the nakedness. In fact, she may even want to kill me. Or you. Probably both of us." He nodded somberly. "I won't be long. Just a few nights until I can sort my shit out. I'll get back to work and get my own place and I'll be out of your hair. And your life can go back to normal. You can forget all about me." I turned my back to him and grabbed my bags from the floor.

"I don't want to forget all about you, Bella. I lo-" he was interrupted by his ringing phone. He closed his eyes and groaned softly as he took it from his pocket. He sighed when he read the Caller ID. "It's Tanya. She's probably worried." He ignored the call and walked to me. "Let me take those," he demanded, grabbing the bags from my hands and walking out the door.