Hermione felt a hand over her mouth and she was pulled into a back corner of the library.
She spun around, expecting some seventh year guy who thought she was hot (and whose ass she'd probably have to kick), instead…
"Luna?"
"Hermione!" Luna hugged her.
"I'm not Hermione, I'm Mandy," Hermione said trying not to give anything away.
"It's all right 'Mione, I won't tell anyone."
"I'm Mandy," Hermione insisted, "I don't know who Hermione is."
"It won't work," Luna said in a dreamy voice. "I always recognize my friends."
Hermione was too amazed to argue (for once). She didn't know Luna considered her a friend, especially since Hermione had insulted the Quibbler many times.
"Okay fine, it's me, just don't tell anyone."
"I won't," Luna reassured her.
"How'd you know it was me?"
Luna shrugged, "You didn't change your face, and I recognized your handwriting on the letter you sent Neville and Ginny."
Hermione swore under her breath, it never occurred to her that anyone could recognize her handwriting.
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"Draco we have a slight problem."
"What?" he groaned.
"Luna knows who I am."
"What!?!?!?!" he exploded.
"It's okay," she said, already wondering why she'd bothered telling him.
"No it's not! She'll mention it to somebody and that'll screw everything up!!!"
"Have a little trust," Hermione said calmy, trying in vain to reassure him.
"If you trust people you'll end up dead!" he yelled.
She rolled her eys and headed into the (strangely empty) common room.
"Mandy!!" he yelled as he followed after her, he had to make her understand why this was such a big deal.
"If you don't stop yelling at me I'll commit suicide with muggle pop rocks and Coke," she threatened.
"You aren't supposed to know what they are!" he continued yelling.
"But I do! That's a part of me that won't go away!"
"But it has to," he (again) yelled, "You're not Hermione Granger anymore, you're Mandy Beausoleil."
"But I'm still a fucking mudblood right?" She glared, "That's why you can't fucking explain why this is a fucking problem, all you do is fucking yell!!!"
He actually stopped yelling, "Do you really doubt that the Dark Lord will kill you?" he hissed.
"No, but he'll never know about this!"
Draco rolled his eyes, "Are you really that stupid? He's the worlds great Legilimens, he'll know whatever he wants to know."
"Then he'll know that Luna's not a threat, she's Luna for God's sake! She's not some teenage girl who only cares about the next piece of gossip!"
"I said he knows what he wants to know, and I'm sure he's looking for a reason to kill you."
Hermione shrugged, "If he's going to kill me he'll wait until the school year is over, I'll just have to see how much farther I can drag this blackmail thing."
"You're crazy." Draco said. She was being an idiot! He actually wasn't sure why he was trying to help her survive, wait, yes he was. And it wasn't because he liked her, it was because he loved himself, after all, he was supposed to help her.
"Gee, thanks"
"Well it's true! No, I take that back, you're an idiot. You're in way over your head Granger, you don't have the brains to survive. I can't wait to see the look on Potty and Weasel's face when they find out," he sneered.
She looked at him, a hurt expression flitted across her features, but it quickly disappeared beneath the cold Slytherin mask she'd acquired.
She'd have her revenge, he'd crossed the line. She sent him a death glare and headed up into the girl's dorm, her evil genius mind plotting and planning.
Draco was left alone in the common room. His emotions were conflicted, he wasn't sure if he felt guilty, proud, or scared. After all, he seemed to really have hurt her feelings, but he'd done that for years. Maybe it was just because she knew that Potter and Weasley really would be upset if she died, especially since she'd probably been shagging them for years.
Ew, he banished that thought from his head, it was just creepy. He thought maybe he was proud, but he wasn't, if he was proud he'd be smirking, not wanted to apologize.
He decided he was scared, after all, in the past couple of months she'd showed herself to be capable of many things he never thought she'd have the guts to do. And she had slapped him pretty hard in their third year. So yes, he must be scared.
It never occurred to him that he wanted to apologize because he knew he'd done something wrong. No, in his mind, he could do no wrong. And if Hermione was upset it was her fault and her problem, not his.
But to the girl watching the whole argument interestedly from the shadows, everything made perfect sense and the pieces were fitting together nicely.
Hermione was upstairs, hidden behind the curtains of her bed, fuming. How dare he say something like that! How could anybody be sick and pathetic enough to want to see the look on somebody's face when they're told their best friend is dead?
She began to wonder why she was so upset. After all, he was Malfoy and said rude and obnoxious things like that all the time. She figured it was because he'd never said anything like that to 'Mandy', the two of them had practically been almost friendly.
Sure they'd teased each other, but it was friendly, not mean or hurtful. It's not like she'd actually been his friend, she was just pretending so she could gain the other Slytherin's trust.
But if it was all an act, then why was she so upset now?
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At breakfast the next morning Hermione ignored Draco and sat next to Daphne and across from Blaise, who was trying (and failing) to subtley look down her shirt.
Instead of glaring at him or pointing it out, Hermione smiled back. Someone watching her smiled knowingly.
Blaise walked with her to class, "So, do you come here often?"
"Yeah, I go to school here, I'm in all your classes…"
"Just checking," he smiled realizing how stupid of a question that was.
He tried again, "Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes."
Hermione wanted to gag, that was so cheesy and pathetic, and unoriginal. "That's so sweet," she forced herself to say happily.
"Do you want to get lost with me in Hogsmeade?"
"That's sounds great, I'll see you tomorrow," she smiled and headed to her seat next to Daphne. As she sat down she winked at him.
"I can't believe you fell for that," Daphne muttered as more students came in.
"I didn't 'fall' for anything." Hermione assured her.
"Really?"
Hermione smirked, "What's the best revenge you can get on a guy?"
"To date his best friend, why?" A look of comprehension crossed Daphne's face, "You're only dating him to piss off Draco?"
"Well, Draco has Pansy," Hermione defended herself.
"More like Pansy has him. She's convinced they'll soon be married and have tons of kids to give to the Dark Lord."
Hermione snorted. She couldn't imagine Pansy agreeing to 'ruin her body' by having kids, even for the Dark Lord.
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Beginning of Hogsmeade Trip~~~
Ginny snickered, "Nice man boobs Malfoy."
Draco looked down and sure enough, he had boobs!!!
The occurrence might be exciting for a teenage girl, but Draco was furious.
"Oh you poor baby," Pansy whined. "Now it'll make me look bad to be seen with you," she complained.
"Mandy undo this now!" he ordered.
"What do you mean darling? I don't see any difference," she smirked and turned back to Blaise.
McGonagall came up, "Mr. Malfoy…"
He turned to face her, "What the…" she trailed off again.
"Magical breast implants," he said glumly. McGonagall hated him already and he couldn't prove Mandy had done anything.
"Are you sure there isn't something about your gender you need to tell me?" She asked again as she removed the implants.
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Hermione and Blaise sat at the table behind Draco and Pansy in Madame Puddifoot's tea shop. Hermione hated the décor, but if Pansy was going to drag Draco, she would drag Blaise. After all, if she was going to use Blaise, she was going to do it right.
She would giggle incessently and every few seconds look over at Draco, who was trying to pay attention to Pansy, and failing.
He was angry, she was so infuriating! Over there giggling with his best friend like she was having the time of her life while he was stuck with Pansy. He was going to go to Hogsmeade with Mandy under the pretense of 'showing her around' to avoid Pansy, but now she wouldn't help him.
"Mandy, listen to me," Blaise said, but she was too busy laughing at Draco.
"I'm really a woman," he tried to get her attention.
"That's great dear."
"I want to have your baby."
"Have fun with that."
He sighed, "I'm really Harry Potter in disguise."
"That's nice."
"Mandy will you listen to me?"
"Sorry, what do you want?" She turned to him.
"If you're going to use me to make Draco jealous, all you had to do was tell me."
Hermione gasped, "I would never…"
"You're a Slytherin, of course you would. And since I don't like Pansy much, I'll help. Let's make this convincing."
"Then why'd you ask me out yesterday?" Hermione asked shrewdly.
"A friend of mine dared me to try the cheesiest pick up lines I knew, so I did," he shrugged.
"Hmm, this could be the beginning of something beautiful," Hermione smirked.
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Hermione and Daphne were doing their homework while Draco and Blaise were talking. Actually, that's not true, Hermione was pretending to do her homework while Draco and Blaise were talking. See, when you're holding a book, nobody thinks that you can hear them, so they pretend you're not there (you can learn many interesting things that way!).
"Mandy was great, she helped me pick out some great Quidditch equipment. She just knows what she's talking about!" Blaise gushed.
Hermione held in a laugh, he hadn't been kidding when he said he'd help her make Draco jealous.
Draco wasn't going to let himself be jealous. He knew that she was just Hermione and there was no way he could ever want to date her. She was obnoxious and annoying and gave him fake boobs! There was no way he could ever be jealous of Blaise. In fact, he pitied Blaise. Right?
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"Are you ready for Christmas break?" Daphne asked.
"I guess, I can't wait to get away from school." She said honestly. She was getting sick of pretending to fawn over Blaise and ignoring Draco would be easy if she could stay in her room all day.
"So, what do you want for Christmas?" Daphne asked her.
"Oh, um.. what?" Hermione, the oh so great Hermione, was confused.
"What do you want me to get you for Christmas, we have one more day in Hogsmeade." Daphne explained.
"Oh um, just a book or something you think's interesting. What do you want?" Hermione asked, great, now she had to buy her something.
"I don't really care, candy or something." Daphne answered just as vaguely.
Yes it's the annoying time when you know you have to buy somebody something but they never tell you what they want!
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Hermione wandered with Blaise through Hogsmeade. He handed her something, "They're fake before you get excited, but Draco won't be able to tell the difference." He handed her a jewelry box.
Hermione opened it, it was a beautiful emerald earrings and necklace.
She blushed, "I only got you a new beater's bat."
He shrugged, "That's more useful than fake jewelry."
She sighed, "What should I get Daphne?"
"Well, she'll never tell you this, but she has an odd fascination with firewhiskey, if that helps."
"Thanks Blaise," she kissed him on the cheek and hurried off.
She quickly bought a mysterious book, some candy, and a couple bottles of firewhiskey, hoping that Blaise wasn't joking.
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On the train ride back to King's Cross, Hermione giggled a lot and sat on Blaise's lap.
Draco just stared out the window, but became annoyed when he saw the 'happy couple' and Pansy clearly in the reflection.
They finally arrived. Lucius was waiting with a scowl in his face. He had to pick up Draco and Hermione and he wasn't happy about it.
"There's your dad," Hermione pointed.
"I can see him."
"I was just pointing it out."
"Whatever."
And for the rest of the day, that was the extent of their conversation.
I personally decided that Hermione and Draco were getting along a little to well for it to be normal in any universe, so they had to fight. Draco pissed her off, which he'll probably regret once she's through with him (no she's not done, yet!)
I got rid of Draco's boobs so quickly because I wanted him to suffer with Pansy at Hogsmeade and have him be a little jealous (not that he'll admit it) of Hermione and Blaise.
I felt bad for Blaise, so I decided he asked her out on a dare, because I like Blaise and didn't want Hermione to break his heart.
My favorite part was Blaise and Hermione in Madame Puddifoots, "I want to have your baby" "Have fun with that" hee hee
I'm gonna have fun writing the next chapters because they'll with Voldemort, and he's always fun to mess around with! (Not like that!!!!!)
Also, I probably won't post chapter 8 until Monday or Tuesday because I have family visiting this weekend :) (and I have to finish reading Frankenstein by August 3 for school, bleh!)
Thanks for all your reviews!!!!!!
dramione96: wow, you snickered out loud, i feel so proud!
treehilllove23: of course they do!! After all they'll go through by the end of this, they have to! :)
voldyismyfather: hmmm, twins! maybe hermione should take some of their ideas! Mwah ha ha ha!
i fell into yesterday: yeah, professor sinistra was strange, i'll have to bring her back
chihuahuagal13: thanks!! my story has 4 purposes now: making people laugh, annoying my family, giving me something to do, AND annoying Sara!
focid 360: definitely, voldy and draco should probably run and hide under a rock, but they're not that smart :)
