Day After Impact Letters
Joan goes to flags, half tired from not sleeping, but also both nervous and wanting to see Judith again to talk to her. At Flags Joan is not surprised to see the counselors are keeping a direct watch on Judith, however what makes Joan sad more is how Judith seemed to be avoiding looking at Joan like seeing her made Judith both depressed and not worthy. Joan knew something was up, and she wasn't sure if Judith was trying to avoid her or what?
Joan-in line to get breakfast sees an old lady serving biscuits and gravy with sausages and is terrified to continue to go up and get the food as she realizes who it could be.
Old Lady God- kindly, "Morning Joan, I see you were up early this morning, and now look tired."
Joan-sarcastically, "Like you would know, you were not there."
Old Lady God- directly, "I'm always there, it is just sometimes you choice to not see me Joan." "If I could give you a suggestion, I would advise you to start trying to see into Judith's life, you said yourself this morning you wouldn't desert her, I hope you decide to keep that promise."
Joan-scared, "Was that you in my dream last night?" "Was it a warning that I need to become friends with Judith or she will go to hell?"
Old Lady God- turned back into a cafeteria server says smiling, "Honey, do you need help?-Because I can easily call someone over to help you?" "If not I would feel it is wise to take your food and go eat now."
Joan-takes her tray and walks to her normal table to sit down between Judith and Virginia. As Joan is about to sit down next to Judith, she catches a skeptical look in Judith's eyes of what appeared to be shock, and disbelief.
Judith-motions with a full tilt of her head to take a seat, then says skeptically, "I thought you wouldn't be back."
Joan-"Why, wouldn't I come back today?"
Judith-honestly says, "Most people don't stick around."
Joan-trying to sound indifferent but coming off with a nervous higher than normal voice, says "Why? Because of last night-you didn't think I would sit by you at breakfast?"
Joan-slightly more confidently says, "You flipped out, got angry, and stormed off-What's the Big deal?" "I mean I still am curious why you would do all the stuff your mom said you did, but last night I think I can forgive you I probable would have done the same thing in your situation."
Virginia-who surprisingly hasn't said a word till now says, "Well, I'm glad you two appear to have gotten over the shock of last night, my mom after tearing me a new one said she feels this camp isn't helping me anymore and is pulling me from the program."
Judith-Pissed, "WHAT the Fuck!" "That is sooo not fair, you can't get pulled."
Virginia-happily, "I guess you are kind of jealous huh."
Judith-"Ah no-I think that is bull shit." "You haven't done crap since you got here 3 summers ago, and now you get to leave."
Virginia shrugs and then pulls out her copy of her impact letter and gives it to Joan and Judith to read.
Dear Virginia-Me and your father, feel with your last episode of misconduct yesterday that a different program will help you more. We are starting to see sending you to Gentle Acres again was actually a mistake on our part. As parents though we wanted to believe you were going to get better and this time around you would get with the program. This does not seem to be the case at all, and instead of learning new positive life skills you are talking advantage of a familiar setting and being manipulative to get what you want. This behavior is nothing new from you of course, as at home and school you portrayed the same pattern. As you are going to be pulled from this program soon we feel there is no reason for us to write you a true impact letter. Love Mom And Dad
Judith-with shock and disbelief says, "O.M.G. they are pulling you from the program."
Joan-"Wait, but it says you are going to another program-did you catch that?"
Judith-"Yeah, but the bottom line is Virginia is still leaving us."
Virginia-"True, but it could be weeks before they find another program."
Joan-"Do you know where they may send you?"
Virginia-"No clue but I'm sure it will be better than this dump.", faking a Shakespearean quote then adds, "Far Well my darlings for I shah go on to anther place." "Doth cry I know you will miss me more than then anything."
Judith-imitating a farewell as well says, "No, Darling, You mustn't leave me." "I will shrivel and rot in this prison with out you."
Joan-Laughing says at the fake good byes, skeptically says, "Wait a minute, who are those two guys talking to Christy and Cat right now?" "I have never seen them before."
Judith-ignoring the two men, instead turns to Virginia and says, "I knew something was off with ease of the punishment for us getting caught smoking cigs the other day, but I never thought they may send you to another program for it."
Joan-"Hey, Guys Cat, and those two guys are walking over here right now."
One guy who looked like he was almost seven feet tall and extremely skinny walks over with a buddy who is the complete opposite-a muscular large ex-football star both approach their table with Cat.
Cat-clear and professionally says, "Virginia, I'd like you to meet Scott, and James they will be your escorts to your next program."
Virginia-shocked says, "What the Fuck, I'm leaving RIGHT Now?"
Scott-(the tall guy) approaches and says, "Yes Virginia, tell your friends good bye and we have to catch a flight to Las Vegas."
Virginia-happily says, "Vegas-Kick Ass I'm going to Nevada" then turns to Joan and says, "Sorry I didn't get to know you more Joan, you seem pretty cool." Then gives Joan a quick hug, and a few head nods and one last smirked smile.
Virginia-then turns to Judith and says, "Fuck, Judith.. man I'm going to miss you." "We had some good times in the last few years-promise me you will give the counselors hell for me while I'm gone."
Judith-scrunched her eyes and breathed in a deep breath of air before saying, "We will have to see each other again-call me once you get home this fall." "We can exchange crazy people stories."
James-(the ex-football star guy) says, "Hurry Up Virginia, we don't have all day."
Virginia-looks at James and says, "I'll say good bye as long as I want ass hole, give me a second."
Virginia-"Hey, Judith, I'll rip of my moms credit card when we get home, we can take off on a Caribbean cruise or something." "You down."
Judith-Laughing-"Hell Yeah I'm Down."
Virginia-then reaches forward and gives Judith a hug and says, "Pick a place Judith because next time I see you better not be here again."
Judith-on the verges of crying says, "Ok, just don't become a stripper in Vegas now."
Virginia-"Ha Ha, but why not that sounds fun." "Maybe I can be like Julia Roberts and have some millionaire pick me up and change my life for good." "Now that is some therapy that could help me."
Scott-"Virginia come on now we need to catch a flight today."
Virginia-after hugging Judith one last time says, "Ok I'm ready to leave now I guess."
James-"Good lets go."
As James, Scott, and Virginia walk out of the cafeteria everyone's eyes are on them. As they are about to leave for good Virginia gets one last idea and turns around.
Virginia-smirking slightly says "Hey Joan, It has been Real!", "Bye everyone-Enjoy your summer in hell now."
The whole cafeteria just stared at shock as Virginia left for good. Christy watching the good byes then feels it is appropriate to say something and walks over to Joan and Judith's table to see their to gloom faces sitting there.
Christy-feeling out the tension at the table says cautiously, "Well before you get any crazy ideas I'd like to let you know where Virginia is going." "Yes, Virginia is going to Las Vegas, however she is then going by van to southwest Utah for a wilderness therapy program."
Judith-"Huffs loudly", but looks Christy in the eyes and waits for her to continue.
Christy-"The program Virginia is going to is supposed to be really hard core." "The clients live in the desert, hike all day, and I believe make primitive fires and traps or something." "I know you may not want to hear this but trust me you two don't really have it that bad here at Gentle Acres."
Joan-"If this is suppose to make me happier you are failing big time.", and then puts her head in her hands and starts crying.
Christy-trying to rephrase her words slightly says, "I can understand if you are going to miss Virginia, and if you want to talk about it or anything I just wanted you to know I'll listen and try to answer some of your questions if possible."
Judith-pissed says, "Fine then answers this- WHY?" "What was the tipping point for Virginia getting sent to Mormon Land?"
Christy-taken aback says, "Judith-I think you already know the answer to that question as well as me." "And I know you don't want me to repeat some speech on actions and choices and past behaviors so I won't."
Judith-pissed says-"Fine, then you are no help, so just leave us the Fuck alone."
Joan-between sobs says, "I'm really going to miss her."
Christy-shrugs her shoulders and says, "Ok, well I just thought I would offer you know where I'm sitting, see you guys in a few minutes, I'll let you finish eating."
With Judith being ferreted with Virginia's sudden departure and Joan imitating an ostrich crying in her hands it wasn't surprising that neither of them spoke a word for the rest of breakfast.
Amy-"Ok Luna, please line up over here for the next activity."
The group lines up and goes off toward the big open filed. Once there the group sees a lot of random junk lying on the ground. The group looks confused at each other and the pile of ropes, tarps, coffee cans, and tennis balls.
Amy-sweetly says, "Ok Welcome to team initiatives, because we have been noticing some tension going on in the group lately, me and Christy thought it would be fun to do some team building drills this morning in hopes to make our group more coherent."
Christy-"So for the first activity I want everyone to stand on this blue tarp."
Christy waits as the group complains and moans and eventually stands on the tarp.
Brie-"Oh I love these initiates we used to do stuff like this at Cheer leading camp."
Annette-annoyed says "I'm so happy this reminds you of cheer leading camp."
Judith-"Will you too both shut-up so we can all pretend we are Aladdin already and get this over with."
Christy-"Oh and Judith I forgot since you know the answer to this one, you now have to be blind folded and can't speak."
Judith-while a blind fold is put over her eyes says, "Oh Goody, and I thought for just a second me knowing the answer would allow me to not participate for once."
Christy-"Judith you have a disease remember you can't speak." "Alright, now everyone you are on a magic carpet at the moment one hundred feet in the air."
Brie-in the most beautiful voice starts singing, "I can show you the World."
Vickie-"Nice voice Brie but come on I agree with Judith if she was still able to speak lets get this Aladdin shit over with."
Christy-continues by saying, "like I was saying you are 100 feet in the air, however there is a problem." "The problem is the carpet is upside down and needs to be reversed without anyone falling off."
The group tries one technique after another of folding the tarp and jumping but seems to be getting more and more frustrated with each other instead of figuring out the task. Eventually, Judith not being able to see accidentally jumps on Annette's hands as she is not being able to see.
Annette-pissed and yells, "OWWHH, Fuck, Judith you bitch you stepped on my hand."
Judith-rips off her blind fold and says, "What did you just say."
Annette-loud and clear says, "You just stepped on my hand..BITCH."
Judith-getting more and more frustrated says, "You calling me a Bitch?"
Annette-cockily says, "Yes! You are one and everyone knows it."
Joan-seeing where this could go jumps in between the two and says, "Hey, I'm sure Judith is sorry for stepping on your hand Annette, but really cut out the name calling already."
Annette-smirking now says, "Whatever, I'll leave your girlfriend alone."
Judith pissed now goes and pushes Annette on the ground harshly. Annette not in the mood to take it gets up and runs at Judith and starts punching here in the stomach. Joan, trying to separate the two gets a bloody lip from Annette, and then also loses it and grabs Annette on the shoulders and pushes her back down. Christy and Amy now get in the pill of girls to separate them and eventually succeed as the rest of the group started by Vickie starts yelling "Yeah, Fight"
Christy-after separating the group says, "Annette, that was uncalled for, and Judith Really!"
Judith-huffing and puffing says, "I'm sick of this shit-Don't even try to blame this all on me."
Christy-mad says, "Good Because I am also sick of this shit too, and well I don't have the patients at the moment to sort this all out so I'm taking you both to talk to your therapists instead."
Judith-"Typical, Whatever."
Vickie-"Hey Annette, I could be wrong but I'm pretty certain Joan and Judith are both strait so that seemed a little out of line."
Joan-pulls out her schedule to check it and then says, "Christy…I have therapy too soon should I just come with you now?"
Amy-Seeing Christy getting pissed steps forward and says, "Christy I can take all three to see their therapists right now it is no big deal." "It sounds like a great idea concerning this situation and I can be back in a few minutes."
Christy then steps to the side and gets on her radio to tell the therapists what happened and who will be arriving to talk to them soon.
Christy now relaxed slightly says, "Alright, it is all set enjoy talking to your therapists I'll see you three again this afternoon."
Amy, Judith, Joan, and Annette then walk off toward the therapists offices. No one said a word the whole time and soon they were outside the offices. Amy first dropped off Annette with a lady with a very colorful fun looking office. Then arrived at an office door saying Dr. Mike Clinical Director. Joan looked inside to see a man in his later 30's with glasses, brown hair, and a button down white shirt on.
Dr. Mike-"Ahhh Judith come on in and take a seat." And then looks at Joan and adds, "Hello, I'm Dr. Mike you are Joan Correct?"
Joan-shocked at being addressed by her name says, "Ahhh…Yeah, I mean Yes I'm Joan."
Dr. Mike-smiling then says, "Well pleasure to meet you officially Joan." And gives Joan a quick look up and down and then grabs an ice pack from the closet for Joan's bleeding lip and say, "I'm not sure if you know this, but I'm the Clinical Director here, and familiar with all clients to an extent, that's how I knew your name if you are curious." "Well Joan it would be only correct for me to go to talk to Judith now, but I hope you have a great day."
Amy-"Ok Joan, Dr. Dan's office is right there and he is waiting inside, I'll see you later."
Dr. Dan-"Morning Joan, sorry to see you got in a fight but please come sit down." "However, I'm actually glad you're a little early today as it seems you have had a lot happen to you since you got here, and I think you may want to talk about it."
Joan-sits down and immediately says,"I wasn't involved in a fight, I was trying to prevent it."
Dr, Dan-"I believe you I already heard the story from Christy, Don't worry you are not in any trouble." "However, why did you feel the need to jump in and stop it?"
Joan-taken aback says "I thought you said I wasn't in trouble for it?"
Dr. Dan-"You aren't but I still want you to tell me why you decided to defend your friend Judith."
Joan-"Well I hate when people fight, and I could see it in Judith and Annette's eyes they both were about to attack each other." "I honestly just didn't want them to fight and tried to step between them to prevent it."
Dr. Dan-"Fair Enough, but it seems you have also tried to stop fights before at home." "Like a Steve Ramsey and Adam Rove fight." "Some popular kids against your brother" "I want to know if there is any connection between these incidents."
Joan-"I guess-you could say I don't want anyone to fight." "And I particularly don't want my friends or family getting hurt."
Dr. Dan-"Yes Joan, that is very noble and good, but I have a theory which maybe will make sense a little later in this session that you may agree with me or not on."
Dr. Dan-"So Joan explain to me what has been on your mind most lately?"
Joan-"Honestly what is on my mind most is how much I hate it here."
Dr. Dan-"That seems pretty normal-I have heard almost every client here express that feeling at on point in their stay or another." "Is there any particular reason you hate it here so much."
Joan-"I feel I don't belong here, and I could be cured better at home."
Dr. Dan-"Why do you feel you don't belong here?"
Joan-"Well for starters I'm not crazy."
Dr. Dan-"Nobody, is saying you are crazy Joan your hallucinations are just impaired perceptions, which according to you last time you said the medicine was helping to solve." "Yet, I heard last night you had a nightmare so please tell me about your dream."
Joan thinking of last nights dream, and seeing God 2 times since her last visit with Dr. Dan clutches her journal tightly remember oh yeah. As Joan starts to think about these encounters she can't help but start to cry and think I'll never get to go home at this rate.
Dr. Dan-noticing the sudden change in emotions and behavior in Joan says, "Joan if you are seeing things again-I need to know" "Are you seeing hallucination or having crazy abnormal nightmares again?"
Joan-while still crying hands Dr. Dan her journal with both a blurb on her seeing God in the Field, and also in her dream last night.
Dr. Dan-reads the first one about God in the field then asks, "Joan it is alright, we will adjust your meds tonight" then waits a bit and adds, "Yet, I think something else is bothering you too," "What is making cry right now?"
Joan-crying says, "I already told you I miss my family" "I hate it here…" "I just can't take it my one friend Virginia just got pulled and my other friend Judith keeps getting in trouble. I feel alone and hate it."
Dr. Dan-"It is normal to miss your family Joan" "Are any of these feelings directed from getting your impact letter last night?"
Joan-"Kind of, but I feel I would miss my family regardless, I love them, and feel lonely and deserted here." "It sucks soooo bad I just want to go home."
Dr. Dan-"Joan you are seeing things which are not there, you need to work through this and I'm sorry but you won't be able to go home until you are well" "However, when you leave my office I will give you a huge stack of letter paper and you can write letters home which may make you feel slightly better."
Joan-"Yeah I would like to write home, that may help." "Can I also write to my friends too?"
Dr. Dan-"Joan we only allow letters to go to and from your home address."
Dr. Dan-"Joan I'll give you letter paper later but for now I want to hear your views on your friends Judith and Virginia." "If they haven't told you I will say I have had the privilege of working with both of them their first summer here." "So I'm curious to know what attracted you to be their friends in the first place."
Joan-"They seemed normal at first, and well I enjoyed their personalities…they are almost always fun to be around."
Dr. Dan-"You said at first, does this mean you feel differently about them now?"
Joan-"I don't know exactly-Judith's Impact letter last night had a lot stuff in it I couldn't see her doing." "And well I haven't got to talk to her about any of it, but I don't know—I'm still confused I guess about it all."
Dr. Dan-"Confused about what?"
Joan-"Well it really hurt me to learn she drove drunk and reckless for starters." "Yet, also I'm unsure how much she cares about any of her actions." "Sometimes she seems to care, and other times she is willing to beat someone up for saying the wrong thing."
Dr. Dan-"Could this be because of your brother Kevin's accident at all?"
Joan-"Yeah….But…But, how could Judith do that?"
Dr. Dan-"Joan you will have to ask Judith that sometime, as I can't answer for her." "When I treated Judith two summers ago I never could get any real answers out of her maybe you will have better luck, but if you don't Joan you can't let it get to you like it is right now." "However I do have a question for you Joan-"I feel you may have chosen Judith and Virginia as friends because you like to associate with peers with the most power, or ones who either make their own rules, or don't care to follow anyone else's authority" "Can you maybe see where I'm coming from here Joan?"
Joan-"You think I choose Judith and Virginia to be my friends so I could be associated with peers who appear to have power-No that don't make sense at all."
Dr. Dan-"Ok but keep considering it a possibility, and then think about your relationship with God. Or how about your friend Grace at home, or why your dad Will is your favorite person in the whole world."
Joan-mumbles out "Because they all have power and control over others." "hmmm maybe but my boyfriend Adam doesn't tend to have these characteristic traits so I think you are still wrong."
Dr. Dan-"True but you tend to draw off these other people in your life or even make up a God to believe in-Just to let you feel powerful or in control." "So maybe you and Adam work as a couple because you know he is the opposite and you have equal control over each other, which makes him no threat to you, and leaves you feeling safe."
Joan-"Hmmm I love Adam, because of all kind of reasons and I wouldn't every try to control him." "That would make me feel shallow and manipulative-I don't feel I could love him if I tricked him into being in a relationship with me that's just wrong."
Dr. Dan-seeing he was hitting a nerve with Joan decides to change topics for now and says, "Ok Joan, I have another question then for you" "Your dream last night, did you think it was real? A message from God of some sort? Or latterly just a bad dream?"
Joan-"I know it was a dream, but it seemed to have a message in it too."
Dr. Dan-""Joan Dreams are just that dreams" "However enlightens me what message did you take from this dream?"
Joan-"God puts people in my life, and if I don't help them bad things can happen."
Dr. Dan-"See their you go again Joan, you want to feel needed, and chosen by God to help."
Joan-"What is wrong with helping people, everyone should help others."
Dr. Dan-"Yes Joan, helping others is good, but doing so because God has choosen you to do it is crazy."
Joan-"Why is it crazy?" "I already told you I know it was a dream and not real." "Yet, why is it impossible to believe God couldn't give me missions in my dreams." "I mean what about God talking to people on the TV, Radio, or Internet oh or calling you on the Phone."
Dr. Dan-"Joan be serious now God doesn't call people on the phone." "Has he ever called you on the phone Joan?"
Joan-biting her lip just stares at the floor lost in past thoughts of her communicating with God.
Dr. Dan-"Joan, let me ask you again has God ever communicated with you in any of the ways you just mentioned?"
Joan-"Ahhh noo, nooo that would be crazy you are right Dr. Dan"
Dr. Dan-missing the double negative relieved says, "Good Joan I feel we are making some excellent progress, yet I think now is a good place to end if you don't mind Joan."
Joan-"No I think I'm good for now" Joan takes some letter paper from Dr. Dan and leaves his office.
