"I don't understand." Bella had sat down and was putting her head in her hands. As she was doing this she noticed her hands were still covered in blood. She started frantically grabbing handfuls of snow and started scrubbing the blood from her hands and arms. "The blood isn't coming out." She looked up to me pleading. "How do I get it out? It's not coming out!" She was yelling by now and was scrubbing at her skin so hard that if she was still human she would have torn her skin right off.
I moved myself as close as I dared and sat down. Reaching over I grabbed her hands and held them still. I wanted to look into her eyes, but I couldn't make myself. This was my fault. And I told her just that.
"Bella this is nothing that you have done. This is all me. I have done this." As I admitted my shame, she snapped her hands from mine. I finally looked up into her red accusing eyes.
"You did this to me?" She seemed confused. "Why? What did I do?"
My heart broke. She thought this was her fault.
"This is nothing to do with you. I am to blame. I could not control myself." I started talking, and couldn't stop. Before I knew it my whole life story was out. Everything I could remember from the time of my change.
By time the last of my story slipped from my lips in a rush I was the one with my head in my hands. I couldn't bear for her to see my face, to see the shame and guilt that was spread across my face.
A long moment stretched between us; the silence colder than the wind that brushed across my face.
"What am I going to do about Charlie? And Renee? How am I going to explain this to them?"
A rustle sounded behind us, and I turned to see Carlisle behind me.
"Bella." She looked up at him. "I am Carlisle and I am Edward's father." He held out his hand to help her up. "I am very sorry for the pain you are going through right now. But I want wanted to officially welcome you to our family."
Let me take it from here, Edward. He glanced swiftly at me and I nodded.
"I understand you have some questions." He gently led her away.
Sighing I dropped my head into my arms. I stayed like that for a while; my arms wrapped around my legs and my head resting in the crook of my arm.
It will all turn out fine.
Alice was standing right in front of me. Her eyes were sincere.
"How do you know?" I asked not because I didn't think she knew but because I need the comfort.
Smiling she folded gracefully beside me. She wrapped her arms around me. "You are a great guy and you will figure this out."
"What am I supposed to do?" I looked over to her.
"What you always do. Be the great man you have always been. We will help. She will make it through this, and adjust to this life."
I can't see how this will be right and Alice is covering her thoughts so I can't see her visions.
Which is why I was shocked when Bella suddenly appeared. Carlisle was right behind her. He looked at me confused and shrugged.
"My family thinks I'm dead." She waits for me to say something. Anything. But I can't. "I can't see my Dad or my mom ever again. Or anyone else I knew in my life, again. You took everything. I am technically dead. And I will have to live off blood for the rest of my life. All because you couldn't control your hunger?"
I couldn't say anything. Standing I tried to think of anything to say that would make this better. My mind was blank, except for the thoughts around me, encouraging me to talk. But all I could think of was how my eyes glowed red with her blood.
I looked into her eyes, pleading with my own, trying to get her to understand the pain I felt for her. Trying to convey the guilt that weighed me down till I felt glued to the ground.
She eyes only responded with accusation. When I stayed silent, her eyes flashed, then she slapped me.
