Me: *smiles softly* I love this chapter to the fullest. So…I do not own Twilight the series or the characters. Only my own characters are mine. *walks off stage as it starts*
October
November
December
January
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January 31, 2006
Dear Diary,
It's been four months since they left. It's been bad. Really, really bad. It's hard to watch Bella go through all of this.
Bella cries all the time at night. I always go in and comfort her until the end of her nightmare and then I leave.
There isn't much I can do. I'm really just there.
I got a job in Port Angeles being an assistant mechanic. It's what I did best of course. I go there all the time so I can get paid more money. It's good though because I get seventy dollars a week at the least.
The real reason was to get my mind off of Bella's problems or Jacob when his face creeps into my mind.
It makes me feel better when Bella gives me some kind of response when we talk. Then again, I haven't talked to her in a long time. The last time I actually had a conversation with her was about two weeks ago. Every since then I haven't talked to her at all.
Jacob and I haven't spoken either. He calls and tries to talk to Bella but she'll sit there. Then he'll try and talk to me and I say no. I'm too shy to talk to him, not after what happened. I think it hurts his feelings, but what am I suppose to do?
He's the biggest crush I've ever had and he's in love with my best friend and sister. She needs him more than me.
More than I ever will.
I tapped my pen against my journal page before closing it. I picked up my hair brush and brushed my hair some more.
I decided to leave my hair down for today considering it went down to mid back now. I put the brush down while before getting up to get dressed.
I put on my white tank top and then got on my blue jacket. I put on some slightly worn jeans on with my white shoes.
I grabbed my wallet and put it in my pocket before grabbing my car keys. I remember getting my car. It was a gift from Edward and Alice.
Yeah everyone hated it but me. The black Charger wasn't that bad and I wasn't complaining.
I was the only one that drove it so it didn't matter. I opened my bedroom door and blinked repeatedly, surprised.
"Hi," Bella said softly. I stared before nodding.
"H-Hi Izzy," I said quietly. She looked at me before smiling some.
"Are you leaving?" she asked. I nodded and saw she was actually dressed normally.
She had on a green stripped sweater with a hood and then some dark blue jeans. Her hair was actually brushed and had a brown hair band pulling her bangs back.
"Y-Yeah. I'm gonna go to Billy's house. He wanted me to run by there for a moment and help with something. Then I'm going to Port Angeles to see if they need help," I said smiling some. She nodded crossing her arms and looked confused.
"But I thought you were avoiding Jake," she said frowning some. I nodded quickly.
"I-I am! It's just…Billy said he wasn't gonna be there. So I didn't have to worry about anything," I replied, looking away from her sheepishly. Bella smiled and I held my keys.
"Do you wanna go?" I asked hopefully. She smiled and shook her head some.
"No. I was actually gonna go with Jessica to a movie and then shopping. I just wanted to let you know I wouldn't be home for a while," she said quietly.
I nodded some and she waved before disappearing in her room. I stood there for a moment before going downstairs.
I went over to the couch where Charlie was and kissed him on the cheek waking him up. He looked at me and I smiled going off to the door.
"I'll be back," I said grabbing the door handle. Charlie got up quickly.
"Wait, wait! Where are you going?" he asked coming over to me. I rolled my eyes and looked at him boredly.
"I'm going to La Push then work," I said. He nodded some.
"Going to see your boyfriend?" he asked innocently. I growled annoyed and opened the door.
"He's not my boyfriend and I'll be back at dark. Call Billy if you need me," I said before slamming the door behind me.
Charlie stood there confused before shrugging it off.
I got in my Charger and put the keys in the ignition but didn't start it. I sat there gripping the steering wheel tightly.
I sat back and sighed.
"Whatever," I mumbled before starting towards La Push.
I pulled up and parked a ways from Billy's backyard so I could get a good walk. It was more like a run and it was a long ways from his house but hey.
I looked up and saw that it was getting ready to rain.
I got to the door and knocked just as it starting to pore rain. I heard talking and smiled at Billy.
"Hello Schyler," he said smiling. I grinned and hugged him before walking in. He shut the door and directed me to the living room.
"So uh, what did you need me to do Billy? You said it was something important," I said sitting on the couch.
Billy nodded after a moment and rolled his wheel chair to the door way to the kitchen.
"I just thought you needed to come out of that house for a while and see other people your age," he said smiling. I looked at him confused.
"What are you-?"
"Hey Dad, what did you need me for that was important?" I froze instantly, recognizing that voice.
I stood up quickly and stared at Jacob who stood in the doorway to the front door. I stared wide eyed at him and he looked at me.
"Sky?" he said surprised. Then he looked grateful.
"Schyler I wanted to talk to you about something?" he said quickly, taking a step towards me. I shook my head and backed away before bolting past Billy.
"I-I'm sorry Billy. I have to go to work!" I called behind me.
I ran and saw my Charger. I mentally cursed at myself for wanting to take a walk and the fact that it was now raining even more.
I ran to the car quickly and fumbled with the keys when I got to the door. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to talk to him.
I felt tears down my face that blended in with the rain and I choked a sob before actually getting the keys in the door. My hair stuck to the sides of my face as I opened the door and jumped seeing it slammed shut.
I looked at the hand that was holding it shut and then looked up at Jacob's face. His long black hair stuck to him and his clothes did too.
"Please-"
"No! I'm going home!" I yelled cutting him off.
"Why won't you talk to me!?" he shouted startling me. I stared at my feet before shutting my eyes tightly.
"Because you're stupid!" I yelled at him. Jacob nodded sarcastically.
"Oh I'm stupid now?! How am I stupid when you're the one who can't look me in the face?!"
"Because you can't see that I like you! More than I'm suppose to!" I yelled. I snapped my eyes open and threw my hand over my mouth.
'Oh my god,' I thought mortified.
Jacob was staring at me and his hand went limp from the door.
"What?" he whispered. I shook my head getting angry now.
"You're so hooked on Bella when she loves someone else! Can't you see these things?! She'll love you, yeah, but she'll choose him! And I…can't bear to see that! I can't bear to see you hurt like that. It's going to break your heart!"
Jacob stared at me in shock as rain poured down even more. I looked at him and laughed humorlessly.
"And it's selfish…it is, but I don't want her to hurt you. I really don't because if she hurts you…it hurts me. I can't be hurt anymore, but I don't want you to love her anymore either…you can't help it though.
"And I…can't tell you who to love…but I'm tired of liking someone who doesn't like me back. So I thought if I were to avoid you, maybe I won't like you anymore…but it doesn't work that way Jake." Jacob stared at me as I went on and I shook my head some, holding myself.
"So I'm going to leave. And avoid you again…and maybe…just maybe…it will work, and I won't hurt anymore," I sobbed. I looked like a hopeless child as I took two steps back from him.
Jacob shook his head and reached for me causing me to flinch away. I took that chance to open the door and get in.
I started the car, not bothering to put my seat-belt on or turn the heat on. I pulled out and started down the road.
When I thought I got far enough away from him, I stopped on the side of the road. I looked in the mirror and saw my lips were as blue as my jacket was. I turned the heat on and gripped the steering wheel.
'I just ruined my life. What have I done? All because I like him…all because I'm selfish.'
I felt tears flow down my face again and put my forehead on the steering wheel.
I started down the road, forgetting about my job, and pulled into the drive way to Charlie's house. I got out and almost slipped because my shoes were soaked along with my clothes.
I got to the door and opened it quickly.
Charlie and Bella appeared in the kitchen as I slammed the door hastily. Bella went wide eyed seeing my expression and tears. I almost slipped again and Charlie caught me by my arms.
"Schyler!? You look like you want to throw up again!" I shook him off of me and went to the stairs. Bella followed behind me and made sure I didn't fall as I went to my room.
I didn't shut the door behind me because I knew she was gonna follow me. I tried taking my shoes off and only got frustrated.
"Schyler what happened!?" Bella yelled grabbing by my shoulders.
I sobbed everything to her and was surprised that she got everything. I left out the things about her loving Jacob and Edward at the same time, but told her about Jacob loving her.
"But this isn't about me! It needs to be about you!" I yelled looking at her. Bella shook her head.
"No it isn't! This is about you and Jacob now! You have been so focused on me that you forgot all about him so it built up," she said hugging me.
I cried on her shoulder not knowing what to do with myself.
Me: *nods happily* So there you have it! She confessed! And what happens when you confess??
Audience: You risk it all!!
Me: *nods winking at the camera* Exactly. But it's not so bad. Now Schyler has a desperate choice to make. Review and join me next time in Confessions Risk it All to see what happens!!!
