AN: Veeery quickly, I apologize for the delay! I started a new job as a federal contractor and the last two weeks have been a blur what with getting back into a full time schedule. I knew I needed to update, so here you are! Thank you all for your lovely comments, please keep it up! xoxox
To his surprise the next morning, Soraya was awake before he was, dressed in workout clothing and preparing bottles of water for them to take with them to the gym. They spent an hour on strength training, cardio and yoga before they went back to his apartment for showers and breakfast.
By the time he entered the kitchen dressed in his favorite suit (black, three piece with a burgundy pocket square and an eggplant tie); Soraya had showered and was preparing protein and superfood smoothies in addition to scrambled egg whites, chicken sausage and toast.
"Can I help with anything?" he asked, amused to see how much she could accomplish in just a few minutes. Her long hair was swept up into a messy bun that tilted to the side as she moved, her lean legs encased in leopard print leggings.
She smiled at him over her shoulder, shaking her head, "Nope. Our shakes are made and in the fridge. These sausages are ready, so all you have to do is grab a plate," she directed him.
He quickly grabbed two and held them out so she could fill them with food, setting them on the bar as she set pans in the sink. They ate quickly, he had to be in the office in 30 minutes, and traffic was atrocious at this hour.
Soraya stood and cleared the plates a few minutes later, "I'd like to accompany you to the office this morning, just for your mental well being," she told him as she handed him a shake.
"That would be great," he affirmed, smiling at her as he grabbed his briefcase and keys. They moved quickly down to the garage where he surprised her by opening the car door for her, a faint smile on his face.
As they weaved through the heavy traffic Soraya sipped her shake and watched the people flow past. This would be the first test of Ward's recovery after his relapse. She was perfectly aware of how stressful this was for him and how many temptations there would be throughout the day to use, but she was frankly impressed by his iron will not to relapse and move forward with his life.
As they walked from the garage to the elevators Ward's hand rested on the base of her spine, his palm warm against her, soft heat curling through her at his touch. She turned towards him and smiled softly, trying not to miss his hand on her when it dropped away.
As the elevator dinged and slid open behind Ward she laid a hand on his arm, preventing him from stepping in. He gave her a curious look and she shook her head nervously, her heart in her throat.
"I, uh, I want you to know that I'm really proud of you," she told him softly. Squeezing his arm gently she leaned up on her sneakered toes and brushed a kiss across his cheek, inhaling the scent of his skin, her eyes sliding shut in pleasure.
She hovered there for a moment, his hands on her elbows, holding her in place, their faces just inches apart. She could feel her heart thudding in her chest, the air between them saturated with desire.
Clearing her throat she pulled away and smiled weakly at him, "You'll be amazing today. Call me if you need me," she murmured before flashing him a smile and walking quickly away.
Ward stood dazed, watching as Soraya walked away, her hips swaying enticingly. The moment she had kissed his cheek he had felt his world tilt on an axis, the urge to turn his cheek and kiss her nearly overwhelming.
A warm feeling settled in his chest and as he stepped into the elevator, a contented smile spread across his face.
Who needed luck on a first day back when he had her.
A knock at his office door brought his head up in surprise, an easy grin spreading on his face. Soraya smirked at him from the doorway; a large brown bag tucked under one arm. "I brought lunch, you hungry?" she asked, tilting a brow up.
He gazed at her affectionately before nodding, ducking his head to hide the large smile spreading on his face. He mastered his expression and looked back up at her, "I'd kill for something to eat," he joked.
Soraya laughed softly and hurried over to his desk, pulling out large containers of takeout from Elysian Fields. "I got you vegetarian vindaloo with naan, and I'm having spicy eggplant with rice. Oh, and bottled water," she said with a grin.
"I didn't get the impression that Elysian Fields made Indian," Ward joked as she sank into the chair opposite his desk.
She shrugged, "They rotate menus. This month is Indian," she replied as she took a large bite of eggplant.
Ward chuckled and chewed his bite before replying. "Do they decide ahead of time what they're making?" he asked.
"Sometimes. Other times Holly just comes up with it on the fly," she told him.
The door between his office and Joy's flew open, his sister striding in with a handful of papers, her head down as she read. "Ward, have you-" she paused as the smell of the food hit her. Glancing up she flushed, "Oh gosh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were here Soraya, why don't I come back?" she offered.
Soraya shook her head vehemently, "No! Come, join us!" she exclaimed happily.
Joy hesitated for a moment, an awkward smile on her face as she glanced at her brother, noting the annoyance on his face. Soraya waved to the chair beside her, "Come on, I bought extra naan and spicy eggplant, you'll love it!" she exclaimed brightly.
Joy felt her stomach rumble and a moment later was sitting beside the other woman, shooting him an apologetic look as Soraya pulled out the extra food. As she ate eagerly she smiled gratefully at Soraya, "Thank you for including me, I probably would have worked through lunch if you hadn't shown up," she told her wryly.
Soraya waved a hand, "Not a problem! I love sharing good food," she said with a warm smile. "Do you like it?" she asked.
Joy nodded enthusiastically, "I haven't heard of this restaurant, I'll have to go there," she replied happily.
"Soraya took me there last week and I have to say that I've never had such excellent vegetarian food," Ward murmured, smiling softly.
Joy laughed, "That's because you've refused to try it until now," she retorted lightly.
Soraya smiled softly as the siblings argued and teased gently for a few minutes. It warmed her to see how they were getting along; Ward needed a strong, healthy relationship to keep him steady, and it seemed this was it.
As they finished their meal Joy cleared her throat and smiled awkwardly, "Ward, I don't know if you remembered, but the Charity Gala is this Friday, are you planning on going?" she asked hesitantly.
Ward stilled, recalling last year's Gala when he had gotten so drunk and wasted he had blacked out in the taxi home. His date had somehow gotten him out of the taxi and into his apartment before disappearing, leaving him to be violently ill for nearly two days.
He didn't think that this year would be at all the same, but also wasn't sure if he should attend at all. Swallowing hard he grimaced, "I don't know if that's a good idea," he murmured.
"People will expect to see you there as the head of the company," Joy told him softly, "Even Danny is coming," she said wryly.
Ward frowned lightly, "Well, if Danny is going I certainly can't stay home," he replied shortly.
"Is this something you can handle?" Joy asked, "I don't want to put your recovery in danger," she told him. As Ward nodded she glanced at Soraya, a speculative look on her face, "Perhaps if Soraya came with you, you would feel more comfortable?" she asked.
The woman in question glanced wide eyed between the siblings, her heart racing. Ward turned to look at her, a nervous, questioning look in his eyes. "Would you want to go?" he asked apprehensively.
Soraya swallowed hard and thought about it for a minute; if she went with Ward people might speculate as to their relationship, something she didn't need interfering with his recovery. On the other hand if she didn't go, it could severely put his recovery at risk.
She wanted to go, and that was the scary part. She didn't want to go as his therapist and caregiver; she wanted to go as his date. These conflicting emotions warred within her, making her stomach churn.
Finally, when nearly a full minute of silence had passed, she nodded, "I'll go. Is it black tie?" she asked softly.
Ward let out a deep sigh, the worried look sliding from his face to be replaced with a deep relief. "Yes, if you don't have anything we can get you a dress," he murmured.
Soraya smiled thinly, "I do, don't worry. For now, we'll focus on your recovery until the Gala comes," she told him.
Joy stood and gave them both satisfied looks, "Good! You'll let me know if you need anything?" she asked Ward lightly. He nodded and smiled tightly as she sauntered out, leaving behind an awkward silence.
He glanced between his desktop and Soraya's pale, pinched face before murmuring, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to get roped into the Gala," he sighed.
"It's fine, honestly. If you went by yourself I'd be concerned. This way we can stick together and make sure you don't fall into any temptations," she told him softly. She hesitated for a moment and then voiced the concern that was keeping her from feeling like this was actually a good idea.
"Ward, people are going to question who I am. I'm not sure it's prudent to tell them the truth at this point," said softly. "Perhaps if we told them I'm a friend visiting from out of town?" she suggested.
Ward nodded slowly, wishing on some level that he could suggest she come as his date, but he knew it was inappropriate given their client/therapist relationship, even if he didn't really care. He knew that made him an asshole, but he wanted what he wanted, even if he couldn't have it.
Soraya smiled softly and stood, gathering up her trash. "How is your first day back?" she asked, leaning against the edge of his desk to eye him curiously.
He shrugged and gave her a halfhearted smile, "Good so far. People aren't questioning my illness, and they seem relieved to have me back," he told her. Truthfully he was struggling with a headache and an irritable feeling that made it hard to concentrate or not snap at people unreasonably.
Soraya studied him for a moment, noticing the lines around his eyes as he smiled—not from real pleasure, but from pain. He must be suffering from a headache. She turned and walked to the door, leaning out to smile at Megan.
"Megan, would you mind terribly getting Mr. Meachum a mug of mint tea?" she asked politely. She smiled brightly when the other woman nodded and went to do as she asked. Turning back to Ward, she beamed happily, "You'll feel better once you drink the tea," she told him.
He had by now learned not to argue when Soraya gave him an order, and this time was no different. When Megan brought him the steaming tea he inhaled and felt a knot in his shoulders loosen.
Soraya considered him for a moment before walking over and laying a hand on his forehead, smiling softly down at him when he looked up at her, surprised. She leaned against his desk, her body sidled close to where he sat and reached down to take one of his hands, her cool fingers slipping around his wrist.
He tried not to react at her touch, but he could feel his pulse skip and he turned away, staring intently at the surface of his desk as she took his pulse. The scent of her perfume was heady, intoxicating.
After a quiet moment she released his wrist, nodding slightly. "You don't feel like you've got a fever which is good, but I do think you need to take breaks frequently during the day. It'll help reduce your stress and feelings of irritability. For that matter, I think you should stick to no coffee, just mint tea, that'll also help."
He could do that he thought, especially if it meant he felt less like ripping someone's face off every time they said something stupid. Swallowing a hot sip of tea he smirked softly, "I'm sure everyone else will appreciate the improved demeanor," he told her.
Her grin was hot and fast, a light laugh bubbling out of her chest as she shook her head, "I think you'll always be you," she teased.
"Oh! So I'm an asshole even if I'm clean?" he replied jokingly.
Soraya gave him a thin smile, shaking her head, "I never called you an asshole. You're just…" she paused, thinking of the right word. "Temperamental," she finished, grinning teasingly.
"Ha! That sounds right," Ward replied sarcastically. He leaned back in his chair and smiled at her, watching as brightness sprang to her eyes, her gaze resting on his mouth for a moment before she flushed and looked away.
"I should get going, leave you to get some work done," she said as she stepped away from his desk, her braid swinging gently. He watched as she gathered her purse and stood awkwardly a few feet away, a nervous smile on her full lips.
Running a hand over his hair he leaned forward, a faint smile on his face. "I'll see you at home," he murmured.
Another flush rose in her cheeks and he smirked as she stuttered a reply before turning and leaving quickly. He had the satisfaction of watching her ass sway as she scurried out the door before shutting it behind her, cutting off his view.
The image of her full lips curling into a smile and laughing with him stuck with him all day, a talisman to keep him calm and happy.
Every day that week Soraya came to his office either bringing lunch or forcing him to go out with her, ensuring that he got a break from work. He had already heard the rumor mill spreading word that he had a new girlfriend, and despite his nonchalant response to a few people that she was just a friend, it seemed that people still clung to their beliefs.
He didn't tell her this of course, he chose instead to flirt with the careful lines they had drawn between them, teasing and flirting with her just often enough that he got to see the flush in her cheeks and the unsteady way her pulse throbbed in her throat.
It was these little things that kept him sane and restrained when his head began pounding and every single thing seemed to irritate him so badly he wanted to throw something against the wall. He was still having trouble sleeping and his moods swung wildly at times, leaving him feeling drained in every way.
Tomorrow was the night of the Gala and he was more nervous than he had thought he would be. He didn't know how people would react to him now that he was sobering up, or what they would think of Soraya.
The last thing he wanted was to place her in a situation where she could be hurt by something an unthinking socialite might say, intentionally or otherwise. The last time he had taken a woman to one of these events had been with Kelli, and he cringed to think about her behavior.
He was realizing each day that he didn't want to live the way he had before; drunk, high and completely disconnected from the world. He hadn't felt so awake in years, and worried what would happen if he slipped up and relapsed.
He looked around his empty apartment and sighed; Soraya was visiting with her family and had told him she would be back that night, but he found himself missing her despite that. The entire apartment was suffused with loneliness, the silence oppressive.
Ward quickly changed into shorts and a tshirt with cutoff sleeves, taking a bottle of water and his phone with him to the gym. As he ran on the treadmill he realized that in the past he would have taken a pill or drank in order to get his mind off of the stress he was feeling.
The burning sensation in his muscles and lungs made him feel alive, reminded him of how he used to feel before he had fallen into such a dark pit of despair that he had felt like he would never crawl out of it.
On occasion now he found himself staring into the pit, knowing how close he still was to the edge, wondering if these new feelings of normalcy and relief would last.
Everything was changing; nothing remained the same.
"My sweet daughter, why do you look so tired?" Soraya's mother Anahita asked in Farsi, sounding concerned. She filled Soraya's mug with tea and set a small plate with a sandwich beside it, waving a hand to encourage her.
Soraya smiled thinly and took a bite of the sandwich, knowing that if she didn't her mother would grow insistent. As she swallowed her mother lifted a brow, indicating she was still waiting for an answer.
"Taking care of my current client has been rough. He had a very tough childhood, his family is probably one of the most dysfunctional I've ever seen. He's already relapsed once and I know this isn't going to get any easier for him."
She sighed, rubbing her neck, trying to ease the tension that lay there.
"What does he want?" her mother asked, "What does he need that you can help him with? Everyone needs something, even if they don't know it."
The smell of rice and chicken cooking filled the room, the delicious scent one that was so familiar it felt as right as the breath in her chest. Soraya sipped her tea, contemplating her mother's words.
She worried that what Ward needed was something she couldn't give. He seemed in desperate search of trust, affection and love—thing he had been starved of growing up. His father had used ambition and power as teaching tools instead of love and patience, and now Ward didn't know how to live without them fueling him.
"I wish it were that simple, mom. He's my client, my patient technically, and if I cross any professional lines, I could lose my license. I could lose the trust of my previous and future clients. I'm just not sure it's worth it," she murmured.
"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?" her mother asked warmly, reaching out to take her hand gently. "If you care for this man, then perhaps you should stop being his therapist and start being his friend."
Soraya smiled sadly at her mother, shaking her head. "I don't think I can. What I do is important to me, it's important to a lot of people. If I cross a boundary with him, I'm not sure I could continue doing what I do," she replied softly.
Anahita sighed and reached out, laying a hand against Soraya's cheek, a sad look in her eyes. "My dear, at what point does putting your work first and your heart last become the wrong path? You have suffered greatly and if you continue to break your own heart, you'll regret it deeply."
Soraya stared at her mother in awe, affection suffusing her. "Thank you mama," she whispered, eyes blurring as she leaned in to hug her tightly. Her mother rubbed soft patterns into her back, humming softly.
The floorboards creaked behind them and Soraya pulled away to find her father standing in the living room doorway, a concerned look on his face. A moment later she heard another set of footsteps and when she looked up, she found a strange man in the doorway beside her father.
A man stood behind her father, a genial smile on his face. Her father glanced over his shoulder to where the man stood and then back to her, a worried look on his face. "Soraya, this man says he knows you, is this true?" he asked.
The man stepped forward, smiling pleasantly. "Soraya and I have a long standing friendship. She's helped me greatly."
The sound of his voice was like a knife in her heart, the breath in her chest disappeared and her lungs seeming to contract until it felt like she might pass out.
"Bakuto," she whispered, her head rushing unpleasantly.
He nodded sharply, smiling like a shark at her. "Perhaps we could speak privately?" he suggested, glancing meaningfully at her mother and father. She quickly stood, nodding jerkily, her hand slipping from her mothers.
She laid a hand on Bakuto's arm and gripped it tightly, dragging him outside to the small back yard. Glancing over his shoulder to make sure her parents hadn't followed she exhaled sharply and turned her burning gaze back to him.
"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" she snapped, glaring up at him.
The easy smile on his face slipped and was replaced by a darker, more menacing one. "I think you shouldn't talk to me like that if you want your parents to continue to enjoy their good health," he murmured softly, his tone threatening.
Ice slid through her veins at his casual words and her hands trembled at her side, eager to slam a fist into his face. "What. Do. You. Want?" she hissed, her eyes narrowed in rage.
Bakuto smiled wide, the expression cold. "I want to know why you lied to me," he replied, a warning in his voice.
"I didn't," she retorted sharply, anger curling her hands into fists, her nails biting into her palms.
His eyes narrowed and she saw a flash of something dark in his eyes, something that scared her. "You told me the transfer of the files on the flash drive worked. We've tried to utilize the program and it's useless," he hissed at her.
"That sounds like a personal problem, not a me problem," Soraya countered harshly.
Bakuto's hand flashed out to wrap around the upper part of her arm, constricting until she winced in pain and tried to back away. "You had better start considering it a you problem or there will be consequences," he whispered.
"FINE," Soraya hissed through gritted teeth. "What would you like me to do about it?" she snapped.
Bakuto smiled again, baring his teeth at her. "I would like for you to do as you're told. When something goes wrong, you tell me. If you aren't sure, you tell me. If you even think for a minute that something might be wrong, you tell me, you understand?" he growled.
"Yes," she retorted harshly.
Bakuto nodded, "Good. Now I'm giving you another flash drive that contains a similar program. You need to get it onto Ward's computer by tomorrow morning, and if I find out that it doesn't work, you'll be hearing from me, and you won't like it."
Soraya nodded loosely, fear clenching her heart until she thought she might throw up. Bakuto's hand slipped from her arm and he grinned genially, "Good! Now, why don't you go back inside and reassure your parents that everything is fine?"
He slipped a hand into his pocket and she flinched, expecting a weapon. When he pulled out a small flash drive she hesitated for a moment before reaching out and taking it. She stepped away, heading for the house when his voice stopped her.
"Remember Soraya, by tomorrow morning," he called.
She stood stock still for a moment and then nodded, hurrying into the house.
She sped through her reassurances and goodbyes, her heart thrumming in her throat. As she walked down the street she glanced over her shoulder, frightened and worried that someone was following her.
Thirty minutes later a taxi dropped her off outside the Rand building and after paying her fare, she scurried inside. The receptionists knew her by now and within a few moments she was in the elevator and on her way up to Ward's office.
She didn't have a plan for this moment; she only knew she had to do what Bakuto said. Her feet echoed on the marble flooring as she hurried to Ward's office, her head down in concentration. "Ms. Ebadi? Mr. Meachum isn't in, he's out at a meeting," Megan called.
Soraya glanced back and nodded, managing a stiff smile before she hurried to Ward's office, shutting the door firmly behind her. She probably had moments before Megan or someone else came in to check on her.
Leaning over Ward's desk she shuffled the mouse and woke the computer up before inserting the flash drive, watching as the program on it downloaded. Her heart thrummed harder as she waited, expecting at any moment for someone to burst in and stop her.
As the last of the progress bar filled, she heard the door opening. Plopping into the chair, she looked up expectantly, a shaky smile spreading on her face as Ward strode in. He looked at her in surprise and then pleasure, "Hey! I thought you were having lunch with your family?" he asked as he walked over slowly.
Her eyes darted to the flash drive and then back up to him, smiling nervously. "Are you okay?" he asked, sounding concerned.
She nodded and leaned back in the chair, mustering a large smile. "Yea, I'm fine. I had lunch with my mom and dad, it was nice," she said blandly.
Ward stood across the desk from her, a confused look on his face. He studied her posture and the way she sat, a frown pulling his lips down. Soraya realized he was growing suspicious and stood slowly, smiling warmly at him.
"I just stopped by because I was on my way home and thought I should check on you since we didn't have lunch together. How has today been?" she asked. She could see his shoulders relax and a moment later he nodded, looking satisfied.
"Not bad. We had a few meetings today that should bring some great profit to the company," he told her, sounding proud.
"Yea? That's great. How are you feeling?" she inquired, her hand trailing close to where the flash drive stuck out of the monitor.
"I've been having some mood swings; I keep flashing hot and cold, snapping at people and then I'm overwhelmed with regret," he told her, sounding troubled. He looked down at the floor as he spoke and she took her moment, snatching the flash drive out and slipping it into her purse.
"I feel a little all over the place, I don't know…" he paused and looked up, "I'm trying," he murmured urgently. Soraya stepped around the desk, desperately trying to gather her thoughts so she could help Ward.
She looked up at him, her thoughts scattered by fear and worry; for herself, her parents, even Ward. She didn't know what to do or say at that moment, she only knew she needed to make sure whatever program Bakuto had given her worked.
"I-uh, I'm sure you're doing well. You've been difficult to work with for years from what I heard, if you get snippy with people now I hardly think they'll notice," she told him cringing internally at how callous she sounded.
Hurt spread on Ward's face and she cursed silently, shaking her head at her own dickishness. "I-I'm sorry Ward, I had an argument with my mother and I'm not being myself because of it. Can we talk when you get home?" she asked, sincerity coloring her voice.
He stared at her for a long moment, his jaw working hard. He glanced away and nodded, "Fine. I'll see you there," he replied coldly.
Regret flooded her and she stepped forward, laying her hand on his arm. "I'm not forgetting about you Ward, I just need a few hours to get my head together so I can help you properly," she told him.
He nodded and pulled his arm out from under her hand, stepping past her to his desk. "I'll see you later," he said, his voice vacant of warmth or emotion.
As he sat at his desk she studied him for a moment before turning and leaving. As she walked down the streets her head swam with thoughts, her gut wrenched into a knot of fear and anxiety.
Had she fucked up everything?
As the hours wore on, Soraya paced the floor of the apartment, worry eating at her. She had spoken to Ward in a completely unprofessional and unfriendly way, probably shattering any trust he had in her.
If she hadn't been so distracted by what was happening with Bakuto she would have been able to help him, to say the right things.
She had made dinner two hours ago, barely able to stomach the sight of it as anxiety made her sick. Ward should have been home an hour ago and he wasn't answering her calls or texts, igniting a burning fear in her that he was out drinking or using.
She pulled her phone out and called Joy, past caring if she worried the other woman. "Joy, have you seen Ward?" she asked as soon as the other woman answered.
"I-no, he left the office almost two hours ago, why? Is everything okay?" Joy asked worriedly.
Soraya's eyes slid shut, fear nearly consuming her. "He hasn't come home and he's not answering my calls or texts. Can you try him?" she asked, her throat thick with unshed tears.
"Yea, I'll call you as soon as I hear from him," Joy replied quickly before ending the call.
Soraya resumed pacing, staring out the window at the dark sky, the lights from the buildings burning against her retinas. Her eyes watered as she stared, unblinking out the patio window, fear paralyzing her.
Her phone buzzing broke her from her mindless staring and she hastily answered, "Hello?"
"He's out walking, or so he said." Joy sounded nearly as worried as she was, a heavy exhale following her words.
"Did he sound sober?" Soraya demanded.
"As much as he ever has. I couldn't tell from a phone conversation unless he was really wasted," Joy told her.
"Right. Okay, well I'll let you know as soon as he's home," Soraya murmured.
"Thank you Soraya. I'm sure he's okay," Joy replied softly.
She hummed softly and hung up, resuming her pacing. Never before in her life had she been this worried about a client. Never before had she cared this much. God I need a drink.
She walked out onto the pool deck staring down at the streets, watching as tiny figures walked and vehicles the size of toys sped by, lights flashing in the night. Somewhere down there was Ward, hurting because of her.
Her fingers tightened on the railing until her bones ached, panting as she struggled not to cry. Everything was falling apart, because of her.
Her strength failed her and she dropped her head, a sob wrenching in her chest. Tears streamed down her face as she struggled to breathe, her head pounding.
"Soraya?"
The sound of Ward's voice made her gasp, her heart hammering so loudly in her head she thought she would faint. She turned sharply, breath panting out of her as she stared at him, relief nearly overwhelming.
Ward took a step closer upon inspection of her face, his own lined with concern.
"You're okay," she breathed, an unsteady smile shaking on her lips.
He nodded, taking another step towards her. "You're crying," he told her, sounding confused and worried.
She lifted a hand to her cheek and felt fresh tears on her cheeks. "Oh, I guess so," she murmured.
"What's wrong?" Ward asked softly, a questioning look on his face.
A laugh broke from her abruptly, surprising both of them. "What's wrong?" she repeated, "Well, I made a huge mistake today, one I probably can't recover from, and I hurt you," she told him harshly.
Ward shook his head, "You didn't make a mistake, you took the time you needed," he replied, stepping closer. "You have to take care of yourself, not just me," he said softly.
Soraya shook her head limply, more tears rolling down her cheeks. "I hurt you, I made a bad decision and I hurt you," she whispered brokenly.
Ward stepped close, towering over her as he lifted a hand to her cheek, wiping at the tears. "You didn't hurt me, you made me realize that we all need time to ourselves, and I shouldn't have made you feel bad for needing that time," he murmured quietly, his thumb stroking gently against her cheek.
His kindness broke something inside her; her shoulders shuddered as she began to cry in earnest, great sobs heaving from her chest. A moment passed and she suddenly found herself in Ward's arms, her forehead resting against his chest as he held her close.
He said nothing, simply holding her close as she wept. His hands traced soft circles on her back as he took deep steady breaths, his chest aching from the knot of emotions balled inside him.
He had gone to a bar after work, sitting for nearly an hour staring at a tumbler full of whiskey, the warm, burning scent of it teasing his resolve. Eventually he had pushed it aside and tossed down a bill, walking away before he had the chance to think twice.
Unable to return home just yet, he had taken to the streets, walking until he was lost in a rat's warren of side streets. His phone buzzed in his pocket, another text, another call. He couldn't answer at that moment, he needed time to think.
When he had come back to his office after his last meeting and found Soraya sitting at his desk he had been excited, wondering if she was there to see him despite having informed him previously that she wouldn't be able to.
Upon closer study he had begun to notice the alarm on her face, the tense way she sat in his chair, a wary smile on her face that he hadn't ever seen her wear. She looked…scared. It was something she had never been around him, and it didn't suit her.
When he had opened up to her she had spoken in a stilted, distracted tone, brushing off his concerns in a way that left him bereft and shaken. When he had retaken his seat at his desk he had found it already awake and he began to wonder if Soraya hadn't come to visit him, but had instead come to take something.
The idea that she could betray him didn't sit well; it didn't match who she had been around him or what she seemed to believe as a person. The only reason he could imagine for her being at his computer without him was that Bakuto and the Hand had asked something of her that she didn't want to involve him in.
Instead of asking her he wandered the streets, avoiding her and his sister's calls until he was ready to go home. Now that he was here he could see how deeply what she had been asked to do was weighing on her.
He could feel her crying and held her tighter, leaning his head down to press his lips to her hair gently, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo. His breath hitched in his chest, the urge to lift her face and kiss away her tears surging through him.
As her tears slowed and her breathing began to match the deep, even breaths he was taking he rubbed her back slowly, his fingers pressing lightly into her skin through the fabric of her shirt. To have her pressed against him like he had imagined was torturous, but knew if he made a move she would flee like a scared rabbit.
Soraya lifted her head from where it had been pressed against his chest, her breath wavering as she looked up at him. Her hands pressed into his chest and she gripped his shirt tightly as though she needed the extra leverage to not fall down.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly, his hands moving to hold her waist.
She shook her head slowly, sniffling at the tears that had fallen. "I'm sorry, that was completely unprofessional," she whispered, her voice raw.
Ward laughed humorlessly, "Professional be damned," he replied softly, "You should do what you need to more often. Don't keep that all bottled up inside," he told her. When she looked up at him in surprise he smirked wryly, "I'd know," he said dryly.
She laughed brokenly and turned away from his gaze, her dark hair falling into her face. "I should…I should go to bed," she whispered, hesitance lingering in her voice. He could feel her pulling away from him, emotionally and physically and he fought the urge to hold her tightly.
His hand stayed on her waist, holding her as close as he dared. "Are you going to be okay?" he asked softly.
She lifted a shoulder, her gaze still averted. He lifted his hand to her cheek, guiding her face up to look at him, feeling the way she shuddered under his touch. "I'm here if you need anything," he whispered, his thumb stroking her cheek gently.
He watched as she swallowed hard and nodded, her full lips parting for a moment before she huffed and closed it again. His fingers trailed down her face slowly, his skin tingling where it met hers.
When his thumb stroked her bottom lip they both breathed sharply, the air between them changing in an instant. Her lips parted beneath his touch and her warm breath skated over his skin, burning him in the most pleasant way.
Her eyes were locked on his face and he could see them turning liquid with desire. Desire pooled in his stomach and he leaned in, his fingers moving to cup her jaw as he closed the distance between them and captured her lips with his own.
Her body surged against his as he kissed her, a groan slipping from his throat as her fingers tightened on his shirt and she kissed him back with fervor. His hand at her waist pulled her closer, his fingers pressing into her waist hard enough to mark her as her mouth opened under his, stealing all the breath in his chest.
A moment later she pushed him away, her chest heaving and her lips plump from their kisses. "I have to go to bed," she whispered, avoiding his gaze. He couldn't formulate a response; his head was so clouded with the taste of her.
She scurried away and left him standing on the deck, the warm air brushing against his skin like her breath had.
"Fuck."
