Sorry for the delay. Here you go, hope you enjoy it and as always, please let me know what you think!

L.

That night Sam insisted they all went to a bar to celebrate Cas' return. Castiel felt unsure – his last trip to a bar ended in a lot of pain, but Sam whined and whined until they all agreed. Dean teased Sam that he only wanted to go back to that bar because he met some chick couple of nights before, but Sam didn't give up and that night they all went out.

This was a similar bar to the one they all went to couple of weeks ago. There were not too many people, but it wasn't empty either. The brothers and Castiel sat at the bar and Sam ordered a bottle of whiskey and some beers.

"So, to your return, Cas!" – Sam raised his glass. – "Hope you won't go wandering soon!"

"I'll drink to that!" – Dean agreed raising his own glass, but with a twinge of unease he saw Castiel's face fall a little.

"To us being together." – Castiel raised his glass and they all drank. Dean didn't fail to grasp that Castiel didn't drink to them staying together but this was not a time for serious talk. Today they'd get drunk, they'd play some pool and they'd go home. There will be time for serious talk tomorrow.

Two hours later the bottle Sam bought was empty and they were all reasonably drunk. Sam did meet up with the woman and Dean complained to Castiel that they were just an excuse for him. Cas agreed this was probably true, but didn't say anything about it. As Dean ordered few more drinks a pretty blond woman came to sit beside him.

"Mind if I sit here?" – She asked smiling at him.

"Nope, please do." – He replied and turned back to Cas.

"You're new here." – She said claiming his attention once again. – "I would've remembered you, gorgeous."

Dean smiled at her. This was what he was actually good at. This was easy. There was no confusion, no second thoughts.

"So would I, sweetheart." – He drawled and then heard Cas get up from his seat and walk away. Dean turned to him and was about to go after him, when this girl laughed.

"I think your friend here gave us some privacy."

"Sorry, I need to go." – He said, but stopped once again as the girl asked. – "Oh, are you two together? Didn't want to get in a middle of anything. You just didn't seem that kind of fella."

"What? No, of course we're not. He's just new here, that's all. But you're right, he'll be ok. What can I get you, sweetheart?" – He flashed his carefree smile, but inside he was yearning to go after Cas, to explain why he was doing this. Dean had always been popular among women and he had always used this to get laid. He didn't want to have sex with the girl sitting next to him and he wouldn't do it too, but he had to keep up appearances, didn't he? Cas would understand.

Castiel walked out of the bar and in a heartbeat he was sitting on the roof of the Prudential Tower again. He tried to understand, he really did, but it just didn't make sense. What did it mean? Would Dean keep having sex with other people? Castiel didn't think he could take it. He didn't want anyone to even touch Dean. He wanted to touch him. He wanted to be the only one who touched Dean. Why did he even talk to her? Why was it always so confusing with him? This morning Dean wanted him. There was no doubt at all that he wanted him. Tonight he wants that girl. Why? Was it normal for humans? Castiel didn't think so. He knew of course that monogamy was something not all could maintain, but surely it was to be expected? Or wasn't it? Castiel sighed again. He was drunk and he was hurt again – bars were definitely not his thing. And yet, with another deep breath he went back to the bar.

As he walked in, he saw Dean still talking to that girl he left him with. She was laughing and talking to him. And she was touching him – her palm on his shoulder – light and easy. On the shoulder Castiel marked! And with that Castiel felt the hatred course through him. It was a sour feeling, the feeling that Castiel disliked at once. Suddenly, Sam walked to him and nudged him with his shoulder.

"Dean's got himself a girl again." – He slurred. – "And my date has left. Want a drink?"

Castiel helped Sam to get to the bar and they ordered more drinks.

"He's lucky, that one." – Sam said sourly looking at Dean. – "He always gets a girl."

Castiel felt fury rising in him. What was the matter with Dean? This was not alright! Cas was fine with not telling anyone they had something happening between them, but this was not alright. Castiel glanced around a bar and saw a beautiful dark haired girl sitting at the far corner of the bar. After muttering "Sorry." to Sam, he went straight to her.

"Hello, can I get you a drink?" – He asked. There was a lot he lacked in social skills, but he knew that much from the reruns of "Dr. Sexy" he'd watched with Dean. The woman turned to him; she was about to tell him to get lost, but her eyes met Castiel's and she changed her mind. He was very different from the others here. There was something undeniably good and beautiful about him.

"You know, why don't you have a seat, we'll talk and then I'll see about that drink." – She smiled at him. – "I'm Megan."

"Castiel." – He nodded. – "It's nice to meet you Megan."

"I'm sure you get that a lot, but that's a strange name you've got. Your family must be religious – Castiel is an angel's name."

"No one has ever known my name was an angel's name. You are correct though, it is an angel's name and my family is very religious."

"Are you a religious man too, Castiel?"

"I believe in God, Megan, but I don't approve of everything he does."

"Well said." – She sipped her drink thoughtfully. – "So what brings a man like you to this place?"

"My friends." – He replied and looked back at Dean who was now looking at him. He was not happy. – "What about you? You don't seem to fit in very well too."

"The same. You see that pretty blond flirting with the green eyed man over there? That's my best friend. She dragged me here and she's now enjoying herself… Friends!"

"That green eyed is my friend." – Castiel replied and smiled at her. – "Friends are so confusing, wouldn't you say?"

Megan laughed and nodded.

"You're right, Angel. How about you buy me that drink? It seems we're kind of stuck with each other anyway, while those two get enough."

Cas looked at her curiously, but decided she was simply calling him that because of his name.

"I don't want to impose myself on you, Megan."

"You're not. I'm actually glad you came over. This place is gives me the creeps. And the people here… I mean I don't have anything against country bars, but really, I've been addressed "hey, babe!" and "hey gorgeous!" way too many times to keep my good mood."

Castiel smiled.

"I don't like bars too. They're too noisy, people are usually rude or strangely obnoxious and… I guess I just don't like them. But since we're here, what would you like to drink?"

"The beer's fine. I'm a simple kind of girl, you know."

Castiel tilted his head curiously, the way he always did trying to understand something.

"I don't think you're simple. You seem kind and you are very beautiful." – He said finally.

She laughed loudly again and although none of them noticed, Dean snapped his head towards them at this laughter and narrowed his eyes angrily.

"You have your way with the ladies, don't you Castiel? Such a simple words, and yet so effective! Men I know no longer speak that way."

"You must not know decent men then. I'm merely telling the truth." – He waved for a bartender and ordered two more beers. – "I could introduce you to Sam. He's my friend too, he's decent. But he's a bit too intoxicated right now…"

"Why don't I get to know you instead?" – Megan asked, placing her hand lightly over Castiel's. – "You seem decent."

"I'm not too good with words."

"You seem to be doing just fine." – She smiled at him warmly. Castiel liked that smile, it was kind and reassuring. – "How about this – we go out for a smoke, it's quieter there and we can talk?"

"Sure?" – Castiel hesitated, but then shook his head. With the corner of his eye he noticed Dean was still at the bar, talking to his companion, ill at ease. – "Let's go, Megan. I think I really could use the fresh air. Even tainted with the smoke."

They walked out the bar and Castiel restrained himself from looking back. He thought Dean would be angry, but he was actually scared he wouldn't be. He was terrified of looking at him and seeing him flirt with that girl, ignoring Cas completely. So he simply walked away.

They sat on the porch in front of the bar and Megan smoked and they talked and laughed together. Mostly Megan talked as Castiel was too unsure of what was appropriate to say and what was not. He enjoyed the light conversation, beer and stories of Megan's family in Wisconsin. They sat there for almost an hour, when finally they were interrupted by Sam.

"Cas, we're leaving. Are you coming?" – He asked. Cas didn't fail to notice it was Sam who was talking to him, not Dean, but he nodded nevertheless. The brothers were too drunk to drive; he needed to get them home safely.

"I'm sorry Megan, I have to go." – He smiled at her. – "It was very nice to meet you."

"You too, Castiel. I hope to see you around some time."

They walked to the car and saw Dean already standing there, swaying slightly and not looking at Cas.

"I think you shouldn't drive Dean. I'll get you home."

"Fine, whatever." – He muttered still not looking at him and Castiel touched their shoulders and got them back to the motel.

"Good night." – Dean said silently and went to his room without a single glance at Cas.

"Good night Cas, you stud!" – Sam laughed and got to his room.

Castiel settled onto the couch again, but he didn't want to watch TV this time, so he simply stared at nothing for a long time.

At around four in the morning Cas heard Dean's voice.

"Cas, could you come here?"

Castiel went to his room without hesitation. Dean was lying on his bed, covered by the sheets.

"Come, sit here." – He called and Castiel sat beside him.

"I'm sorry." – He muttered and Castiel sighed. – "I'm sorry. I should've told her to get lost. I wanted to, but… I'm such an idiot Cas."

"You're not an idiot, Dean. Your IQ is perfectly normal, most likely on a higher end of a normal deviation."

Dean smiled at that and then got serious again.

"I know you talked to her to make a point. And the point is taken, ok? I won't do it again. I won't fool around with anyone."

"I wanted you to know what I feel when someone is touching you. I hate it. It makes me really angry."

"I know, I got it." – Dean nodded. – "I hated it too. I never wanted to punch a girl, but I swear to God, if she tried to kiss you I might as well hit her."

"I wouldn't have let her kiss me. You are the only one who ever kissed me and I intend to leave it at that."

"Good, because I'd punch you too."

"You'd hurt your hand and I'd have to heal you. That's not too smart."

"Oh, shut up Cas. Just kiss me, alright?"

And Castiel did. He leaned over him and kissed him possessively, feeling Dean respond with as much possessiveness. As they kissed the sheet slid down and Castiel saw Dean was not wearing a T-shirt. He looked at him curiously and focused on the hand print on his shoulder.

"I did that." – He said touching the hand print lightly.

"Yes, you left your mark on me." – The hunter nodded and kissed him again.

Castiel's hand slid down Dean's body caressing him, examining him.

"You are beautiful," – He said once Dean released his lips.

"Take off your coat, Cas." – Dean said silently in a husky voice and Castiel obeyed at once. – "Good, now take off your jacket." – Again the angel obeyed and as he took off his jacket Dean stood up.

He was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and Castiel gasped seeing him.

"Do you like what you see Cas?" – He asked standing a foot from him. The angel's breath hitched and he nodded.

"Tell me."

"I like what I see." – He said his voice breaking slightly.

Dean reached out and started undoing his tie. – "Good. I want to see you too, Castiel. I want to feel you."

He removed his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt when he noticed Castiel was staring at him transfixed, biting his lip again. Dean growled silently.

"Don't bite your lip, Cas." – He whispered against the angel's lips and kissed him, sucking his bottom lip. Castiel's hands went straight to the hunters back, caressing him pressing him hard. Dean bit his lip and Castiel moaned loudly.

"Shh, you'll wake Sammy." – Dean whispered resting his forehead against Cas' for a moment, trying to compose himself. Then he moved back a little and resumed unbuttoning Cas' shirt. Once he undid every single button, he pulled the shirt off and now Castiel was standing in front of him with a simple white T-shirt.

"So many layers…" – Dean hissed. – "Raise your hands."

As Castiel did so, Dean pulled his T-shirt over angel's head and finally Cas was standing in front of him with his bare chest. Dean's eyes slid up and down his body, drinking him in. He noticed Castiel was muscular as he thought he would be. He wasn't as muscular as Dean himself, he was leaner than him too, but to Dean it was perfect. To his surprise he noticed Castiel was tanned.

"How is it you're tanned, Cas? I've never even seen you without that trench coat and you're tanned underneath…"

"My vessel… It didn't change at all since I entered it. I suppose Jimmy didn't wear trench coat all the time."

"Hmm, Jimmy most likely didn't." – Dean agreed and suddenly he was kissing him again. Their naked chests touched and they both moaned into each other mouths. Dean trailed his kisses down Cas' jaw line to his neck, nipping it, sucking on it and getting another moan from Castiel. He trailed down his neck to his shoulders, caressing his back with his hands and tasting him all the time. He trailed down further, to his chest and as he reached his nipples, Dean sucked on one of them, flicking the other with his thumb. This time Castiel moaned so loudly Dean had to silence him with a kiss.

"You're too loud, Cas." – He whispered.

"It's all so new to me, Dean. I can't control it very well."

"I can see that." – Dean smiled and kissed him lightly. – "I like that, you're so responsive. The things I'd like to do to you…"

"I think I'd like that…" – He smiled and ran his tongue down the hunter's neck, tasting him and then started kissing the mark he'd left.

Suddenly Dean grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him into a hard kiss again. Then just as abruptly, he pushed him away.

"We have to stop now, Cas, or I won't be able to stop at all." – He panted.

"I don't want to stop."

"No, I don't too, but we have to. Sam is right there and I can't control myself very well… I'll get you on your own soon, I promise. Then we can do much, much more…" – His eyes darkened with his promise and Castiel felt his throat go dry again. He took a deep breath and nodded.

"Alright, Dean, I'll go then."

"No, don't go. Stay with me tonight, ok? Just… Well you have to leave before he wakes up, you know."

"Alright." – He whispered for the first time feeling… unclean. But it was Dean who was asking him to stay after all and that was all that mattered.

"Good, come here then." – Dean took his hand and pulled him into his bed. Castiel wrapped his arm around Dean's torso and rested his head on his chest. He listened to the gradually slowing breathing of the hunter as he fell asleep. Even then Dean's arms were holding him closely, refusing to let go and Castiel felt truly and completely happy.

/\/\/\

The next morning when Castiel heard Sam stir in his room he untangled himself from Dean's arms. Dean opened his eyes at once, but Castiel smiled at him and pointed towards Sam's room. Dean nodded then pulled Cas into a quick kiss before letting him go. Castiel pulled the T-shirt on, collected all the other clothes and disappeared.

When Sam came out of his room, he found Castiel sitting on the couch fully dressed as if he hadn't moved at all.

"You know, I realized I have never asked you what have you been up to on those two weeks, Cas?" – Sam asked after he had made some coffee and settled onto the couch next to Cas. – "Seen some world? Traveled a little?"

"Yes, I traveled. I also went back to Hheaven. I wanted to know what was happening there. I went to see Samandriel – he's the leader of one side of the war. Raphael has been replaced by Israfil who is even more determined to restore the apocalypse. Samandriel is doing his best, but I think he's losing. He wants me to join his ranks."

"What?" – An angry voice bellowed from Dean's room. He walked to them quickly. – "You went back to them? Why?"

"I went home, Dean. Where else was I supposed to go?"

"You were supposed to come back here!"

"Dean, I am a celestial being. Sooner or later I had to go back to heaven. Angels are dying there… There is so much blood. Raphael was often cruel and merciless, but Israfil is simply lethal. He hates it when somebody disobeys him and he punishes this disobedience severely. Samandriel told me Israfil had ordered all of his rank to find me and drag me back to him, so he can kill me in person."

"What?" – Sam gasped. – "Why you?"

"I disobeyed. I interfered with the apocalypse and I was the reason our brother was killed. He thinks I killed Raphael and so the revenge he seeks is with me. Samandriel wants me to join him so we can fight him together given that both of us will have to fight him nevertheless."

"You're not joining the war, Cas." – Dean said silently but with so much finality that Sam looked at him curiously.

"I said I would think about it."

"There's nothing to think about. You're not joining the war."

"I should join Samandriel. I should at the very least try to protect my family from murdering each other. I should make sure the apocalypse is not restored. This is my duty, Dean."

Suddenly Dean turned to Sam.

"Sammy, I want to speak to Cas alone."

"No! This is my business too."

"Sam, get out, I want to speak to him alone!" – Dean growled furiously.

"Sam, please let me speak to your brother alone. It'll be easier this way." – Castiel asked calmly.

"You two are unbelievable." – Sam sighed but in the end he took the keys of Impala and left without saying anything.

"Cas, you're not serious, are you?" – Dean asked him silently, trying to control his temper.

"You know this is the right thing to do Dean."

"No, the right thing to do is for you to stay here. You said you'd stay Cas. You can't leave."

"I don't want to leave." – Castiel came closer to Dean who was leaning against the door. – "I want to stay here, with you. But we're not talking about what we want. I'm talking about my family. I'm talking about the war that I am a big part of. If not for me, the angels wouldn't be dying now."

"No, they wouldn't be. But half of the world would be dead. And so would be Sammy and me. Cas, you can't blame yourself for this. It's not your fault that the feathery asses up there have started a massacre!"

"It is my fault, Dean. My intentions were good and I'd do it again, but I can't pretend it's not my fault."

Dean lifted Cas' chin up so he can look him straight in the eye. He saw the angel's blue eyes clouded with pain.

"Cas, it's not your fault, you hear me? You didn't start the war. All you wanted is some free will, that's all. That's not your fault." – He kissed him slowly, gently.

"Even if it's not, it's still my duty to defend my family. I should be there, fighting this war." – Castiel dropped his gaze again.

"I thought Sammy and I were your family."

"You are, but this is one more reason why I should fight. Don't you understand? If Israfil wins, the apocalypse will start again and I will lose you for good!"

"So you want me to lose you for good instead?" – Dean asked angrily. – "I don't want to lose you, Cas. I refuse to lose you! You're mine, remember? You can't leave me!"

"Dean…"

"No! You can't leave! You promised and you can't leave!"

"I'm an angel Dean! I have duties! I can't run from them forever!"

"Then what the hell are you doing with me?" – Dean shouted furiously. – "Why did you return? Why the fuck have you given me hope?"

"Dean, please…"

"No, Castiel. You speak to me now – what are we doing? I thought you cared about me." – He was serious now. Not even angry, but dead serious. Castiel knew this was the point of no return – right here and then.

"You know I do." – He whispered.

"Then why are you leaving me? This is it Cas. You're either with me or you're not. I can't let this continue if you're leaving me. I just can't."

"Dean, you're making me choose between who I am and what I want. This isn't fair."

"I know it's not, but that's the only way. So which is it Cas? You're in or you're out?"

"Dean, please…"

Dean looked at him trying to stay calm. The despair was threatening to crush him, but he stood his ground. Cas would either be with him or he would leave. He couldn't live like this – he couldn't live knowing Cas was fighting his war and waiting for him to return. He couldn't live worrying every waking moment. If Cas left, he'd pull that feeling he had for this angel out of his heart once and for all. It would hurt, but it would be better than living in never ending fear.

"In or out Cas?"

"I… I suppose I'm out…"

Dean glared at him.

"Then get the fuck out!" – He shouted. – "Get out and don't you dare to return!"

Castiel took a deep steadying breath. He felt as if the ground was shaking beneath him.

"Alright, I'll go and I won't come back. I will tell you this before I go – Sam and you were my family and I will never forget that. And you… The way I feel about you is…"

"No!" – Dean shouted and shoved the angel harshly away from him. – "Don't you dare speak about that! How can you leave me with this? How dare you speak about feelings when you're leaving me?!"

"It's all about feelings, Dean…"

"Stop it!" – Dean yelled. – "Get the fuck out! I'm done here!"

Cas nodded silently and with the flutter of wings he was gone.