CH: 7- Broken Oaths

James went back to his dorm and slept the rest of the day. He was emotionally and physically exhausted and his bed never felt so good. He was awoken by loud thuds on the wall outside the dorm. He got up and opened the door, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"We need to talk James," Sirius said striding into the room his face hard and unfriendly.

"Can't it wait till dinner?" James asked shoving his hair off his forehead. Remus looked at him at then did a double take. James had been crying the proof was in his bloodshot eyes and still damp cheeks. Remus had never known James to cry, about anything. Yet here he was, not caring that the Marauders were watching the pitiful scene.

"It's already after nine Prongs," Peter said rudely, pushing his way to the front. Remus gave Peter a look of warning and then turned back to James who was obviously in need of comfort.

"James, leave her alone. She is no good for you," Sirius begged. "Look at yourself, what you have become and all because you fell in love. Give her up James, please!" James's eyes flashed with extreme hatred.

"Don't you dare say a word against Lily! You can't even understand why I am like this. You don't know who I am anymore!" James roared. Sirius flinched, for the first time in his life he flinched away from James, his best friend.

"We will understand if you tell us. We haven't spent time with you in two months James, tell us, and explain it to us. Make us understand what is going on," Remus said gently touching James's arm. James broke into sobs and put his arms around his friend.

"It's okay James; you're going to be just fine." Remus held him for a long while, knowing that what James would tell them wasn't going to be a good thing. James and Sirius sat on the sofa with Remus and Peter in chairs close by. James was holding Lily's pillow close to him. It sickened Sirius to see James this way, but maybe there was something he could understand.

"Before I say anything, remember, we are all Marauders. What is said between us stays between us, right?" James asked. They all nodded, so James took a deep breath and began. "I know I have been neglecting you guys lately, but you all know I have been after Lily since the first day I met her," all three nodded in agreement. "When she finally said she loved me I couldn't see how life could get any better. She is amazing, wonderful, funny, and sweet and… she is mine. Last night we went to patrol the corridors and… damn it's my entire fault because of my raging hormones," he said bleakly.

"What happened James?" Remus said interrupting and trying to get James back on topic.

"We split up last night, all because I wanted to get back to our dorm and get her back into my arms. We had a good snogging session going. Anyway we split up and when Lily didn't arrive at the dorm 15 minutes after I had, I went looking for her," he broke off, tears were clouding his eyes and his heart ached, it was all his fault.

"Where was she?" Sirius asked, suddenly worried about her. Lily had never been a friend, but she was a fellow Gryffindor and his best friend loved her.

"She was down in the dungeons near the Slytherin common room. Snivellus was standing over her and it was obvious what had just happened. I hit him so many times I lost count and then I took Lily to the hospital wing where she is now. This morning Dumbledore called a meeting in his office where we each gave our side of the story. Snivellus said he did what he did because he loved her and she hated him in return. He is on his way to St. Mungo's for rehabilitation and counseling," James finished with a deep breath and then looked at his three best friends.

"They should have sent him to Azkaban," Sirius whispered furiously, "He deserves it." James suddenly jumped up and looked at the Marauders.

"I have to go speak to Dumbledore, I'm sorry I broke our oath not to fall in love. But the fall was definitely worth it," James took off out the door and down the corridor.

"What do you suppose?" Peter asked wonderingly.

"That's our Prongs, can never keep still for a moment if something is bothering him. Shall we forgive him for loving Lily?" Sirius asked Remus.

"There is nothing to forgive; it was stupid of us to make that oath anyways. We were bound to fall in love sooner or later. It just happened sooner for James, but I believe everything will be okay for us now," Remus said as he looked at the door, "Prongs has come back to us."

James stood in front of the griffin guarding Dumbledore's door. His jumbled thoughts were keeping him from remembering the password. "Chocolate frogs? Licorice Wands? Sugar Quills? Fizzing Whizbies? Butterbeer?" The griffin jumped aside and James walked up into the revolving staircase.

"Professor Dumbledore I need to speak with you," James said breathlessly as he sat down in a chair in front of the desk. Dumbledore gazed at him intently over his half-moon spectacles and then he sighed wearily.

"I knew you would be coming to see me James, but I didn't realize it would be so soon. There are things you want to know and I am afraid that I cannot tell you all of them, no matter how much you deserve to hear them," he said softly, his eyes tearing up. He loved James like a son, and some of this news would hurt him.

"Why didn't Severus go to Azkaban? Rape is charged the same way everywhere, a man should go to prison," James said quickly.

"James, believe me when I say if it had been any other person or any other situation he would have. We both know how sick he is, and he won't get any help at Azkaban. In St. Mungo's he will receive the help he needs to come back to the wizarding world."

"Why should he come back? He could rape her again," James cried, tears now falling down his cheeks.

"James, I know this is going to hurt but I also believe you have a right to know. Severus will be one of our greatest assets in the final battle between Voldemort and us. How great I cannot say, but I can say that he will help your family more than you realize. He will help you, your wife and your child," Dumbledore finished. James was bewildered.

"How can you know such things? How can you be sure?" James demanded, his heart thumping.

"Prophecies don't only come to those who have the sight James. They come to the person who needs to hear them the most…"

James walked past the hospital wing for the third time, trying to decide whether or not he should go in. Finally Madame Pomfrey walked into the hall.

"If you think you are going to pace this hallway all night, you're wrong. Either get in here to speak to Miss Evans or go back to your dorm." James walked in eagerly and sat on a stool beside Lily's bed.

"James, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in bed," she said weakly. She saw the tears in his eyes, and noticed that he had been crying. "Oh James," she whispered. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, knowing that she wouldn't accept one anywhere else. He then looked into her eyes and saw the grief and pain she was suffering.

"Is there anything I could do? I won't be able to sleep if I go back to the Head's dorm. It will be hard because I know that you should be there with me. I can't sleep unless you are near me," he said, his heart aching to hold her.

"I'm sorry that I can't say what you want to hear James, someday you will again,' she promised, her voice broken with emotion.

"You have all the time in the word Lils, I told you that this afternoon. Take forever if you need it," he said and kissed her palm. It took all of her willpower not to pull it away.

"I don't deserve you," Lily told him, "you could do so much better than me." James knew what was coming and he put a finger to her lips.

"Don't do this to yourself Lily. Remember the letter you wrote me? Where you gave me your heart? That is a gift I will never return to you. I'm selfish; you've given it to me and I'm keeping it. This is a promise you cannot break," he said sternly.

"Why did I have to fall in love with such a stubborn person?" she asked in an almost teasing voice.

"Hell if I know. You're just lucky I guess." That brought laughter; real laughter out of her and her shoulders shook with mirth. She cupped his hand in her face and caressed it with her thumb.

"Yes, I am lucky. From the day you said forever I've been lucky. I agree that I won't break my promise. You can keep my heart," she said and this time she was teasing him.

"Good, because I'd never let you go."

"Okay, okay. You've had enough time visiting. It's time for you to leave Mr. Potter, you can see her again tomorrow," Madame Pomfrey said with a voice that was not so stern. She winked as she let him out. "If all girls going through this had a boyfriend like you, there would be a quicker recovery date," then she shut the door.

James walked up to the Gryffindor common room. He hadn't been there since the last day of term his sixth year. He stood at the portrait of the fat lady for several minutes before realizing that he didn't know the password and he would either have to sleep on the ground outside the common room or go back to the head's dorm. James opted for the ground, because it didn't hold any memories for him like the head's dorm did.

The portrait suddenly swung open and Sirius was there, staring down at him. James just looked at him for a few moments, wondering if he would be welcome in the Marauders dorm with them. "We have your bed all set up Prongs. Come upstairs with me," Sirius said and helped him to his feet. James knew he didn't deserve his friends, he had treated them so badly lately, but none of them mentioned it as he climbed into his old four-poster.

"Good night Prongs," Remus said yawning.

"Good night Moony," James replied and before he knew it he fell asleep.