Sorry for not updating! Been busy with work and other stuff! Here's a longish chapter to make up for it!

Disclaimer: I believe there has probably been an episode of Doctor Who done based on the Loch Ness monster but this chapter focuses a bit on it. Also, to the David Tennant fans, the name Muireen comes from The Decoy Bride, an AWESOME movie with the one and only Mr. Tennant (think it's currently streaming on Netflix. It's a romantic comedy) but there's a wee minor character with that name and I chose it because it sounded pretty Scottish.

Anyway, I don't own Doctor Who, HIMYM, Loch Ness Monster, and so forth.


"You mean we're not going to look for Nessie?" Marshall asked, feeling downtrodden.

"Afraid not," said the Doctor, feeling bad for Marshall. He loved how adventurous Marshall was, but he hated to break his spirits. "We're on a time crunch."

The group marched on while Lily told the Doctor what Marshall had done on their honeymoon in Scotland. Camped out over a week beside a lake, or a "loch" as told by Marshall, and did not find the Loch Ness Monster. The Doctor laughed as he listened and watched Marshall and Lily argue back and forth.

"I don't get it," observed Ted. "If the TARDIS can travel in space, why are we in Scotland, which is on earth?"

"Yeah," added Robin skeptically. "I mean, why are we back on earth?"

"Oh, remember the part where I said the TARDIS can travel through space and time?" the Doctor pointed out. "Well, we must have landed in another time frame. For all we know, we could be in modern day Scotland or 1800s Scotland."

Moments later, they were in the nearby town where the Doctor went to a newsstand and read the date. "2013," he said.

"So we're five years into the future," said Robin as she crossed her arms.

Marshall's eyes brightened. "Maybe I can REALLY find Nessie now!"

"Marshall, like the Doctor said, we really don't have time for this. We need to find Barney," said Ted. "Maybe we might find the Loch Ness monster on the way, but we need to focus!"

While they were walking, Robin accidentally bumped into a woman a little shorter than her with blonde hair, wearing a large winter coat, skinny jeans, and boots.

"Oof! Excuse me, sorry!" Robin said apologetically, even saying her sorry the Canadian "soory" way.

"Oi, watch where you're goin' ya canuck!" said the woman.

"I said I was sorry!" Robin scoffed. "How about I buy you a drink? My name's Robin, what's yours?"

"Muireen," said the woman, still mad with her Scottish drawl rising and becoming more prominent. "And no, I dun' need no drink! I'mma punch ya in the face!"

Everyone else, including the Doctor, gasped. Robin stood there in shock as Muireen balled a fist and took a swing at Robin, punching her in the eye. Robin angrily punched Muireen twice with both fists, knocking her out on the ground.

The Doctor, Ted, Marshall, and Lily stared in shock at Robin, who blew on her fists.

"That'll teach her not to mess with me," she said.

"R-Robin, your eye..." Lily pointed out. "It's black!"

"I've had worse," Robin said casually, stepping over Muireen's unconscious body.

"The Scots I've come across have never been this angry," the Doctor said, still in awe. "Are you alright, Robin?"

"I'm fine, Doctor," Robin brushed off. "I get into bar fights all the time at the Hoser Hut."

"Once we get back to the TARDIS, I'm going to treat that eye," the Doctor told her. "I have a medical bay on there with everything."

Robin felt excited on the inside. A chance to spend a little time with the Doctor! She smiled a tiny smile but immediately hid it.

"Five years from your time and people are as hostile as ever," the Doctor commented to himself as he put his hands into his coat pockets. "The economy could still be doing badly from the looks of it."

"Not to mention that the people are ruder than ever," Ted added, motioning towards Robin's black eye.

"Has anyone seen Marshall?" asked Lily.

"Okay!" Marshall said gleefully as he marched over to the group, geared up with a net, binoculars, and a bag of seaweed. "I'm off to go find Nessie! I spoke with the shop owners and they said they've seen her!"

Ted clapped a hand on his face and turned to Lily. "What do you say you just leave him at the loch? He'll just be useless, anyway."

Lily sighed and gave in. "Fine. Marshall, since you're too focused on the Loch Ness Monster, you can go and look for it. We're gonna go back to what we're doing."

Marshall squealed happily. "Thank you, Lilypad!" he said, hugging and kissing his wife. "This is the best thing you've ever let me do! I swear I will make this up to you!"

"Hey, as long as I'm not being forced to come along with you, that's fine!" Lily said, throwing her hands up in the air.

The group and Marshall split up and continued their search for Sven. Asking the townspeople was out of the question. Ted and Robin tried asking a few of them by describing a Sven's appearance and mannerisms. Some of them laughed or made remarks about the Swedish since that was what Sven had passed themselves off as for so long. The Doctor connected his sonic screwdriver to the Sven GPS and scanned the air for Sven until it finally picked up a few traces.

"Ah-ha!" The Doctor sprinted towards the Western direction as the beeping got louder on his device. The rest of the group quickly followed the Doctor until he finally stopped in front of an old man wearing a large parka, hat, sunglasses, and performing with marionette dolls. The Doctor cocked his head at the man suspiciously, looking up and down between the performer and the device.

"Good afternoon," said the man in a Euro-Scottish drawl. "I'm performing with my marionette dolls, telling a story. Would you like to see a performance?"

"I don't know," The Doctor said sternly. "You happen to have seen a Swedish alien running around, have you?"

The man stood silently before stopping his performance with his two previous marionettes, a red haired man and woman in traditional Scottish wear, and putting them away. "I'll tell you, but first, you must watch one of my performances,"

Ted groaned. "Look, we don't have time to watch any of your goofy puppet shows. I'll pay you anything for you not to perform, only if you just tell us if you've seen him!"

The man opened a big red box and pulled out four marionette dolls that resembled The Doctor, Ted, Lily, and Robin. He readied himself before beginning to take control. He made the Doctor doll slap Ted on the face, which suddenly caused the real Doctor to slap the real Ted in the face.

"Ow!" Ted yelped, holding his cheek where the Doctor slapped him. "What was that for?"

"I-I didn't do it!" The Doctor cried. "This man's doing the work!"

The man made the Ted doll slap the Doctor doll, making the real Ted slap the real Doctor. The old man forced the two men to slap each other until Robin and Lily went to grab the dolls out of his hands only for the man to lift the Robin and Lily dolls and twirl them, causing the real Robin and Lily to fly into the air and spin around.

"AAAAAAHHH!" the two women screamed as they spun in the air.

"Hold on ladies, we'll get you down!" the Doctor yelled before being forced to kick Ted in the shin, making the American fall over. He looked down and saw Ted with tears in his eyes. "Ted, are you crying?"

"No!" denied Ted, clutching his leg.

"DOCTTOOORRRR!" Lily and Robin both screamed, still spinning.

The Doctor immediately hatched a plan. He realized that the marionettes could have some kind of chip inside of them or something. He just felt the sonic could stop it! He pulled the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket, clicked it on, and finally the marionettes snapped off their strings, crackled, and burst into flames. Finally, Lily and Robin stopped spinning in the air and fell to the ground.

"Voodoo marionettes," the Doctor said while putting the sonic in his pocket. "Now tell me who you are!"

The Doctor pulled the man's hat off to reveal blonde hair. The man looked up and revealed he had a blonde goatee.

"Sven!" Ted said angrily.

"Sven Pilson," said the man while standing up and throwing off the parka to reveal his black leotard.

The Doctor angrily grabbed Pilson by the neck of his leotard and slammed him against the stone wall behind them. "Tell me where Barney Stinson is!" he demanded.

"Barney Stinson isn't here," answered Pilson, seemingly unfazed by the Doctor. "He's nowhere near here. Perhaps you should get back into your little blue box and search some more."

The Doctor's grip tightened. "This isn't a game. If we don't get Barney back from you, there WILL be consequences."

He let go of Pilson, who remained silent and poofed his way out of there. Ted, Robin, and Lily all stood there, shocked. They had no idea the Doctor could be this angry. The Doctor turned around and saw the looks on their faces.

"I'm sorry," he said apologetically, raising his hands up in surrender. "I am a very peaceful man, but once I am angered, well, let's just say it's not pretty."

Ted patted the Doctor on the shoulder and smiled sympathetically at him. "I know how frustrating this is," he said. "I know this wild goose chase isn't fun, but I'm sure we'll find Barney."

"I'm surprised you get this angry over someone you don't even know," Lily pointed out. Robin nodded in agreement.

"I did know him for a few minutes before he was taken," added the Doctor. "Humans are brilliant creatures, which is one of the reasons why I love to have them on adventures with me and I keep saving the Earth. I love this planet and I have done so much work for your planet, Lily, you just don't know. I cannot stand to see another human be taken from this beautiful world."

The gang exchanged glances. They had no idea what he was talking about when he said another human being taken from this world but they did not want to question him. It was probably best not to ask. Even if the human was Barney, the most obnoxious womanizer in the universe, the Doctor was willing to go great lengths to save him.

This Doctor sure is something, Ted thought to himself as he watched the Doctor put his hands back into his coat pockets.

"Well!" The Doctor changed gears and grinned, appearing more upbeat. "What do you say we all go find Marshall and get back in the TARDIS?"

Everyone agreed and went back to the loch to get Marshall, where he was found gazing through his binoculars.

"Lily! Lily!" Marshall squealed, grabbing Lily's shoulders, and jumping up and down excitedly. "I saw the Loch Ness Monster poke her head out for a whole TWO SECONDS!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Okay, Marshall, that's enough excitement for now. We've got to get back on the TARDIS."

"But Lily..." Marshall pleaded until the Doctor cleared his throat and Marshall turned to him to see the Doctor giving him a Look. Marshall grumbled and gathered up his things.

"Sorry, Marshall," The Doctor said apologetically. "You'll have to look for Nessie some other time."

Marshall smiled and got into the TARDIS with his equipment while everyone followed behind him. The Doctor was the last inside. The Doctor stopped, breathed a big sigh, and closed the TARDIS doors. A minute later, the TARDIS made the voorp voorp sound and disappeared into time and space...