You guys! I am so sorry. School has been crazy. And it's about to be finals. So I wanted to post this chapter before I die under a pile of exams. Yes! I'm working on Spemily moments. Please be patient with me. Huge plans. As always reviews are appreciated. I love my readers!

Trigger warning: I've been hinting at it, and I'm going to hint at it more. But Spencer received a lot of abuse during her years in prison. I will eventually have a chapter devoted to the years in prison. Thank you for bearing with me.

Disclaimer: I don't own the PLL. Which is probably a good thing because my beta reader tells me that I am approaching Shonda Rhimes level of angst.


"You were out in this weather?" Dressed in a rain jacket and armed with an umbrella, Solomon quickly made his way over to Spencer, concern evident in the voice that she didn't hear too often. She must have looked half drowned. She was shivering now, and starting to regret taking her time in getting back to the shop.

She couldn't afford to get sick. The consultation fees, the prescribed medication, taking time off work. She mused it was cheaper to die. Have someone else foot the cost of the funeral that no one would attend. It would be easier.

"Let's get you warmed up." Spencer let Solomon lead her to the kitchen. Nina came over like a worried mother, and the tall man handed her off to their boss. They were standing in front of the ovens.

"Eli, can you get me something warm? I need her out of these wet clothes." Nina grabbed the zipper of her hoodie and took it off to reveal the white tank top she had on underneath, that she could feel clinging to her abdomen. "Help me out here, Spencer. "

In response, she lifted her arms above her head and her shirt joined her hoodie on the kitchen floor where Nina had thrown it. The older woman didn't comment on the tattoos she had or the faded scars and burns she had imprinted in her skin.

Wordlessly, Spencer kicked off her soggy, disintegrating sneakers and unbuttoned her jeans. She pulled them down over her hips, and stepped out of them. Solomon came back with a dry pair of sweats that Nina helped get her into. He covered his eyes with his hand and was about to leave the kitchen again, when Nina stopped him.

"Don't be bashful. Take your shirt off and hold her." Spencer couldn't look at either of them, embarrassed at needing to be taken care of. But Solomon must have agreed because she felt strong arms wrap around her and a bare chest press into her back. She squeezed her eyes shut at the contact.

"I'm s-sorry." Spencer choked out. Everyone had been worried about her, and now they were still worrying about her.

"What happened?" Nina stood closer to her.

"I sent her out on a delivery to the hospital. Emily asked for her." Eli had returned with a cup of something steaming, and a shirt tucked under her arm. "Is she why you want to quit?"

"You want to quit?" Nina asked. She sounded hurt and disappointed.

"I have to." Spencer looked up and jerked out of Solomon's warm embrace. "She can't be around me." Her hair was dripping wet and she felt drops of water trail rivulets down her bare skin.

"Okay, Solomon. I think you need to go back out front." Solomon grabbed his shirt and pulled it back on. He nodded at the three of them and gave Spencer a shy, but reassuring smile.

Eli handed Spencer the shirt and she put it on. It was a black polo shirt with the Cup-a-Coffee logo on the breast. She pulled it on and found it to be a little baggy on her. She was used to wearing clothes that weren't her size.

Then Eli gave her the steaming mug and Nina gave her a look that let her know she wouldn't get away without finishing every drop. Spencer took a sip, and she swallowed the sweet liquid. It warmed her throat and chest as it went down. She really didn't like the taste of hot chocolate, much preferring the bitterness of coffee. She didn't deserve anything sweet.

Nina dragged a chair next to the ovens and Spencer sat down. "Whenever you're ready to talk."

The two women went back to baking, trying not to rush her into talking. Spencer collected her thoughts as she sat hunched over in the chair, as close as she could get into the fetal position.

What were her options? She needed this job. Well, she needed a job. But she knew the discrimination she was up against once her criminal history was discovered. She had even been turned away from the few housekeeping jobs she had applied to. She was surprised to learn that employers had high standards for their cleaning ladies.

She needed a job to pay for everything. Parts of her paycheck went to the state for being out on parole, and to a victims' fund. The remaining amount was for rent. She had some funds for clothes and food left over after that.

Spencer didn't want to end up in the streets or back in prison. Some of the women she had met in Muncy told her stories. Stories about how being out on parole was just a set up for failure. They had been saddled with an unhelpful parole officer or there just wasn't enough resources being offered. Substance abuse and mental health issues were made worse. So they had no other option but to become homeless, or they'd do something to get arrested again. She just thought that those women didn't have the willpower to stay clean and out of prison.

But she was finding out that it was hard.

The question Spencer had at the back of her mind ever since she was granted parole was "Why?" A sent her to prison, only to have her apply for parole when she was up for it again. It hadn't made sense then.

Now she understood.

She could deal with prison. There were ways to rationalize and cope with being inside. She would read whatever book or magazine she could get her hands on. She would work out. She would take classes and she would teach classes. She would fill up all her time, just so she would be too exhausted to think at night. She'd seek out the touch of another woman just not to feel the sharp pang of loneliness. Anything to not think of a life outside the prison walls.

But finally being out of Muncy and back in the real world after spending nearly half her life in prison, it was grinding her down. She was using distractions and telling herself she was holding on. Then the run in with Emily. Was this part of the plan, to dangle Emily in front of her? A knew exactly how much it was breaking her.

A wanted to erase her completely, and she was almost gone.

"Spencer, you're shaking. You're not still not cold are you?" Karolina was right next to her suddenly, and the younger woman's appearance startled her. She ended up dropping the cup from her hands.

"Fuck!" Spencer almost jumped out of her seat. They were the only people in the kitchen.

"No. Just say there. You don't have shoes on." Karolina went to get a dustpan and broom. She came back and started cleaning up Spencer's mess.

"You should let me take care of that." Spencer looked up at Karolina forlornly.

"It's on me. I snuck up on you." The tiny brunette took care of the shards and threw them in the bin. When she came back, Karolina leaned against a counter and watched her intently. "You had me worried. I mean the hospital is only ten minutes away. You weren't answering your phone. I told Solomon to go look for you. I thought you were going to do something stupid."

"I wouldn't-"

"I hope so. I really do. Because you might not think it, but people do care about you. The moment I saw you, I thought you were strong. If anyone could turn their life around, it would be you. The more I got to know you, the more I knew you were strong. A little quiet, very mysterious. But very caring and hardworking. Gentle too. How you are with Teddy." Karolina gave a small smile as if she was recalling something she and the little girl had done. "You're a good person."

Karolina and the others had so much faith in her, and Spencer didn't know how much of it was deserved, if she deserved any of it. The tiny brunette's speech reminded her of words from someone that had saved her in prison, words from someone that showed her love and a kindness in a place where it shouldn't have existed.

"You said you knew Emily and Paige from before?" Karolina slowly asked. "From Rosewood?"

Spencer brought her legs up into the chair and hugged her knees to her chest. "Yes. We went to high school together." She and Emily had been friends.

Karolina nodded thoughtfully, but stayed quiet. And Spencer wondered how much the tiny brunette knew. The murders in Rosewood had gained national attention once Spencer's involvement came to light. Karolina had to have been around Teddy's age back then. The media had painted her as a seductress that had cajoled Garrett Reynolds into being her fall guy because she hadn't wanted to get her hands bloody in getting rid of Alison DiLaurentis, her main competition. Ian Thomas had spurned her advances, so they had framed him for Alison's murder. Maya St. Germain had unwittingly found evidence and she had to be silenced. All the secrets and lies eventually unraveled.

That's what people knew then. Other news stories came and went, pushing Spencer Hastings out of the media spotlight and people's minds. Completely forgotten.

"They're nice people. And forgiving. I'm sure if you just talked-"

"I don't want it. Her forgiveness." Spencer looked down at the kitchen tiles. "I just want to be left alone."

"So what are you going to do?" Karolina asked. "Are you still going to quit?"

"I can't." Spencer hoped the words she had thrown at Emily earlier would keep the other woman away, even if it bought her just a brief reprieve. She just needed more time. This wasn't over.

"Then I'm glad." Karolina brushed her hand over Spencer's shoulder.

After a tiring day, that left her completely drained, Spencer was ready to just fall into bed. She dragged herself up the stairs and out into the landing of her hallway. She stopped when she saw something hanging on the handle of the door to her apartment. She looked up and down the hall stupidly; knowing fully that it was completely deserted.

She slowly approached her apartment and saw that it was a dark colored hoodie. With a shaky hand, she picked up the hoodie off the doorknob. She eyed it critically and saw that it had "PENN" screen-printed across the chest in large red block letters above the logo of the University of Pennsylvania.

Spencer clenched her jaw so tightly she thought her molars would crack. After years of silence, A was taunting her. She jammed her keys into the doorknob and let herself into her apartment.

With a sudden surge of energy, the lean brunette tore up the tiny room looking for anything A could have planted to have turn up at her next surprise visit from her parole officer. Everything was the way she had left it that morning. Nothing added, nothing missing. Nothing an inch out of place. She went back to the hoodie. She checked the front pocket and found a folded piece of paper. Spencer was going to play the game, but she was going to do this her way. She opened it and read the message.

Stay dry. - A

The next day Spencer was wiping down a table, business as usual, when a shadow fell over her hand and the rag she was using in circular motions. She instantly tensed up, her body getting ready for a fight.

"What is this?" The shadow spoke and a box was dropped onto the table.

Spencer looked up. The uneasy feeling in her stomach had been correct. If Emily Fields had been shocked to see her, then Hanna Marin was absolutely seething.

The expression on the blonde woman's face made Spencer take a step back. She looked at her old friend. Hanna was smartly dressed in a heather grey cardigan over a plum colored wrap dress that flattered her frame and didn't hide her pregnant belly.

"I asked you a question." This wasn't the Hanna she was used to. Here was the anger she had been expecting from Emily. That she had wanted to see from Emily.

Spencer opened the box and found half a dozen cupcakes with vanilla frosting and a red letter A on each of them. Her eyes went wide. "Hanna, I didn't send these."

"Really? Because the last time I saw you, you told us that you were A." Hanna glared a hole into Spencer.

The lean brunette pulled on her sleeve, covering the crook of her right arm. Even though there weren't that many patrons in the shop during the mid-afternoon, Spencer felt their eyes watching the scene.

"When I talked to Emily yesterday, she told me you were out. That conversation ended with her in tears, and me holding her. God, I thought we were done with this. Done with you hurting her. After what you told her yesterday." Hanna exhaled sharply. "You're lucky Em made me promise not to do anything."

Hanna pointed at the box. "But this, is messed up. Even for you."

Travis or Frida must have finally gotten Nina from the kitchen because the woman had finally made her way over to them. "Ladies, if we could move this conversation elsewhere."

"I have nothing left to say to her aside from-"

"Auntie Hanna!" Teddy's voice cut through the tension. The little girl was making her way over to the three of them, her lavender backpack bobbing up and down as she weaved through the tables. Once she reached them, she gave the blonde a hug in greeting. She then put her hand on the woman's baby bump. "Hi, Baby!"

"Hi, Miss Nina!" Teddy waved at the older woman, and then finally rounded on Spencer, as Karolina joined them.

"Spencer! Oh my gosh." The little girl beamed up at her. "I drawed you something!"

"You drew me something?" Spencer gave her a nervous smile. Hanna didn't look happy to have Emily's daughter talking to her. She watched the little girl excitedly swing her backpack to the floor and take out the sketchbook she had bought her.

"Yeah! I drewed your tattoos." Teddy flipped the pages what things she had drawn. She stopped on a page with what looked like four stars and a bird. She raised the sketchbook above her head "See!"

The scowl on Hanna's face only deepened. Spencer took the sketchbook from the little girl. "That's really nice."

It was the truth. It was such a bright spot in the rough time she was having. Why was this little girl so much like her mother? They both knew what to do to bring her up when she was at her lowest.

"Yay!" Teddy looked proud at getting her approval. She carefully took the page out of the sketchbook and handed it to Spencer.

She didn't know what to do. Hanna was shaking like she had more to say to her. Karolina looked confused, but concerned for her. Nina was finally the one to take control of the situation.

"Teddy, that is a pretty drawing you made for Spencer. But why don't you hold on to that while I borrow your Auntie Hanna and Spencer." Nina put a motherly hand on the small girl's shoulder.

"Are they in trouble?" Teddy asked in a small voice. She looked up at each of the women, as if she finally picked up on the tension in the group.

"No. They're not in trouble. They just need to come to an understanding." Nina reassured the girl. When her boss used that tone of voice, Spencer found herself believing every word. "Why don't we have Karolina fetch you a glass of milk?"

"Okay." Teddy replied slowly. Karolina led her to a table, but the girl looked back at her adults uncertainly.

Nina gave Spencer and Hanna a stern look and walked to the kitchen. Spencer reluctantly fell into step behind her boss, feeling like a child about to be scolded. Was she about to get fired? While she had been considering quitting, having that choice taking away from her scared her. Deep down, Spencer knew she wasn't going to quit.

Not again.

Eli looked up from mixing when the three of them entered the kitchen. When she saw Spencer, the blonde woman frowned but went back to working. Spencer felt guilty. She wasn't doing drugs or purposely setting out to cause problems, but trouble still followed her around.

Hanna opened her mouth to speak, but Nina cut her off. "I don't know what this is between all of you. Either fix it or leave it out of my shop. Because this is not just a business. It's my family. So I don't appreciate you coming in here and making a scene by yelling at my employee and attacking her. While I enjoy having you as a customer, I put my employees first."

"She's-" The word came out of Hanna's mouth sharply.

"I don't want to hear it, unless it's an apology." Nina was standing with her shoulders squared, eyes blazing and motherly.

"I'm not apologizing to her. But I am giving a warning. You and your skanky tattoos stay away from Emily and my goddaughter." The usually bubbly blonde's face had a look of disgust that cut Spencer deep.

Spencer wanted to defend herself, shoot back that it was Emily that needed to stay away from her. But she wasn't used to Hanna being so angry with her. Even when she had gotten Caleb to help them hack A's phone, Hanna had just been frustrated with her, but the girl was still loyal and they had quickly made up. Taking Hanna's loyalty and trust, and stomping all over it wasn't the worst thing that Spencer had done. It had been hurting Emily, hurting all of them. That was abandonment in Hanna's eyes.

Hanna left the kitchen, and Spencer finally took a breath. She looked down at her shaking hands.

"You okay, Spencer?" Gone was the fierce Mama Bear, and back was the gentle comforting Nina.

"Thank you. For defending me." It was still such a strange feeling to be looked after. Even when it was her mistake that was causing problems.

"Like I told you on your first day, we're a family here. I take care of mine." Nina took her hand in her own and squeezed it reassuringly.

The sense of belonging was something Spencer hadn't felt in so long. She had a family once, the one she had made with her friends. She had given up everything to protect them.

In prison, Spencer had kept to herself at first. Everyone became someone else to survive on the inside, and she had decided on tough, untouchable loner that interacted with others when she needed something. It was an easy mask to wear, since it was one she had worn her sophomore year after Alison's disappearance and the four of them growing apart.

But it was as if she had a target on her back the moment she was put into general population with the other inmates, drawing the ire of a few and the romantic interest of one.

Karolina popped into the kitchen. "Hey. I'm going to take the kid home."

The lean brunette nodded. "That's probably for the best."

"Teddy wants to say goodbye, especially to you Spencer. You still need to get your drawing." Karolina said cheerfully.

Eli put a tray of cinnamon buns into the oven. "You can bring her around anytime you know. We love having her."

"Sure do." Nina agreed. Spencer appreciated the two women coming up with a way for the little girl to still visit the shop. She would be there for the two of them, and Spencer would happen to be around.

"Right, let me grab her. So Hanna can clear out of here." Karolina examined Spencer, to see if mentioning her former friend's name would cause more discomfort. "I'm really sorry that happened."

"I was expecting it." Spencer said slowly. But she hadn't really known how terrible it would make her feel for it to finally happen. To someone on the outside, it must have been brutal to witness.

"Still."

"I'll be fine." Spencer hoped that this wouldn't be another lie she told herself.

Karolina came back to the kitchen with Teddy, who said goodbye to Nina and Eli both. She had saved Spencer for last.

Teddy came up to her slowly, the drawing in her hands. "You don't look mean."

Spencer stayed quiet. She knew what she looked like to herself. Someone that lied and was cruel in order to get what she wanted. Even without the scars and tattoos, she was ugly.

"Auntie Hanna said that you were in prison, but only mean people go to prison. You're nice. So maybe she was wrong." Teddy worked out with her innocent logic.

Spencer felt the sting of tears in her eyes.

"Can I hug you now?" Teddy asked cautiously.

Spencer nodded and got on level with the little girl. Tiny arms found their way around her. She was surprised, but soon she returned the hug. They fell out of the hug. Spencer gave her a smile after she stood up.

"I like when you smile. You look better when you smile." Teddy handed her the drawing that was slightly crumpled in the corner from the hug. "Bye, Spencer."

"Bye, Teddy."

Karolina gave her goodbyes as well. And then the two of them were gone.

"That little girl is right you know." Nina had her arms loosely crossed. "You do look better when you smile." Her boss went back to baking, and Spencer went back to work.

When the universe gives you a moment of reprieve, it would just as soon make things even more complicated. Spencer found that out three days later, when Paige McCullers came into the shop.

It was bound to happen. Emily and Hanna had taken their turn with her, and now in it was time for Paige to get her punches in. She was just surprised that it had taken that long for the other woman to show up.

"Spencer." Paige stood in front of her at the counter. The woman was so much more confident, more self-assured than that freshman that had been angry all the time. There was no weight carried on her shoulders. She projected the air of someone that was important, and part of that had to do with what she was wearing.

The other woman was wearing a charcoal gray pinstripe tailored suit that she wore well with a matching vest over a white button up shirt. Spencer felt shoddy in comparison, wearing only jeans with a white thermal shirt layered under a blue henley shirt.

Paige had on glasses, but that didn't hide that the fact she had a scattering of tiny pockmarks around her eye, a small hollow in her cheek and a long shallow groove on the side of her face, like directions to her eye from her ear, a roadmap of damage.

Spencer was curious as to what happened, but not curious enough to ask. Maybe Paige would give her the same courtesy about her own scars.

"Alright. Let's get this over with." Spencer gritted out. She took off her apron, and went to hang it up. She looked over at Solomon, who nodded. Spencer started towards the back, but Paige stopped her.

"Have you eaten yet? I was hoping I could buy you lunch." Paige asked brightly, but there was a bit of a smirk on her face.

Spencer felt insulted. That Paige had come in only to show off, to lord it over how much her life was better. The life Spencer had wanted for herself. Karolina had said Teddy's parents were successful, a surgeon and a lawyer. Since she had already met Dr. Fields, here was Paige McCullers, Attorney at Law.

"We can talk here." Spencer crossed her arms.

"There's a restaurant around the corner. I booked the private room. We'll talk there." Paige raised an eyebrow in challenge.

Whatever they were going to talk about, Paige didn't want an audience. The conversation with Emily, and the one she had with Hanna had taken place in very public places. While she didn't want to go anywhere with Paige McCullers, she didn't want a repeat of her boss and co-workers bearing witness to her screwed up past colliding with her mediocre present.

"Karolina, can you tell Nina I'm going to lunch with Paige?" Spencer announced more than asked. Karolina and Solomon would know where she went and who she had gone off with in case something happened. But in all likelihood, if anything happened the authorities would side with the lawyer over the ex-con.

She let Paige lead the way. The two of them were quiet as they walked to the restaurant. Spencer used the silence against Paige, hoping to make her squirm. And also to think about what Paige would say to her.

The Paige McCullers she had known in high school would have stormed into the coffee shop and raged at her, much like Hanna had. She would threaten her; tell her to stay away from her wife and kid. But Paige had come in calmly and invited her to lunch. That didn't mean she trusted the other woman.

"Here we are." Paige opened the restaurant door with a hand in her pocket, and let Spencer go in first.

When the hostess saw her, the woman gave her a look of distaste, but she brightened when she saw Paige enter behind her. "Ms. McCullers, we just finished preparing your private room." She grabbed two menus. "Right this way."

Again Spencer followed behind Paige, looking around the small restaurant. The color of the place was light with black and white tiled floors. The walls were painted brown with one red accent wall. The tables were black with wooden chairs. There was a short hallway in the back. The hostess opened a door that lead to a small room with a table for two set up inside.

Once the two of them were seated at the table, the hostess left them the menus. Spencer squinted at the menu, which offered a selection of bistro inspired options like "Crab Cake with Sliced Mango and Lobster Butter Sauce, Penne Pasta with Rock Shrimp and Roasted Garlic Sauce, and Roasted Squab Breast with Garlic & Herb Salsify and Papaya Salsa. There were also gourmet burgers with different meats and toppings and sauces. The menu items were reasonable, but they were way out of Spencer's price range.

"The Grilled Chicken Breast Morocco is good. And so is the salmon." Paige offered.

Spencer flicked her eyes up at Paige. "What is this?"

Paige held her hand up to silence her as their waiter came with a basket of Forccacia bread and he poured out mix of olive oil and balsamic vinegar from the two bottles that had been on the table.

"Are you ladies, ready to order?"

"We'll have the artichoke and spinach dip to start. Did you need more time to decide?" Paige gave her a gentle smile that made the marred side of her face soft.

There was a life there in the woman, another thing Spencer was green about. She glanced down at times, to hide her scar and nose. But Paige didn't seem to let the ruins own her. And maybe Spencer would too, if she had Emily at her side. She wouldn't mind the stares, because she'd be too captured by the dark skinned woman's entirety. Emily would own her completely, but she'd be free.

Spencer gritted her teeth, then returned to the menu. Once upon a time she had been familiar with roulades and gnocchi, but after years of prison mystery meat, the words were foreign in her mouth and the food would probably taste just as strange on her tongue. She settled on something simple. "I'll have the beef tenderloin."

"Good choice. And how do you want it cooked?" Their waiter, Thomas, looked at her to answer expectantly.

"Medium rare." It was the way Spencer had always ordered her steak in the before. Whatever the menu had said all those days in the dining hall, Chicken a la King or roast turkey or salisbury patty, it was all the same mystery meat that tasted the same. She knew once the steak finally came out, after it had been marinated in house spices and hickory grilled, that she would find the taste intense.

"And to drink?"

"Just some water."

Paige ordered the grilled chicken dish she had recommended earlier and a glass of lemon ice tea. Thomas quickly repeated their orders and went off to the kitchen leaving the two of them alone to speak privately.

"So let me ask my question again. What is this?" Spencer crossed her arms over her chest.

Paige responded by taking something out of her suit jacket. She set it on the table and Spencer saw that it was a small device. The lawyer pressed something on the side, apparently turning it on. At Spencer's raised eyebrow, Paige answered. "So we can talk freely."

"Well?"

"Straight to the point. You always were." Paige smiled, then started. "This is about Emily. And it's about you. What you know. What you're going to do. About A."

"Why should I tell you?" Spencer sneered.

"Because what I want most for Emily is for her to be safe. And for her to be happy." Paige started Spencer down. And she had to wonder if this was how she was in court. "If I told Emily to stay away from you, she wouldn't listen. We both know that if she sets her mind out to do something, she'll do it."

Spencer looked down again, knowing Paige was right. Emily was going to try to see her again. And now that she knew that A was definitely back, it was going to be dangerous. "It's not safe."

"I know."

"I don't think you do." Spencer looked up at Paige. The other woman had no idea what she was getting herself into.

"That's where you're wrong." Paige took her glasses off. "I went digging around in your case. Your mom left notes, and I followed on some of her leads. And on some of my own. I must have been getting close to the truth because," She brought her left hand up to trace the along the scar on her face up to her eye.

Spencer's eyes widened at finally seeing the other woman's hand. It still had a thumb and forefinger, but the remaining fingers were replaced by a sleek shiny prosthetic, like something out of a science fiction novel.

"Because," The woman continued steadily, "I got told to back off in the form of a letter bomb. So don't tell me I don't know what dangerous is. I lost three fingers and an eye."

Spencer thought A had kept quiet while she was away. But she realized that the deal she had made was to keep Emily, Hanna and Aria safe. Everyone else was fair game.

"All courtesy of your friend A."