I was surprised when Alice and I got home that Esme wasn't home. Usually she's at the door waiting for us to come in, it's kind of silly, but she loves being there when we come home from school. Esme wasn't there, neither was Emmett or Rose, Carlisle still had an hour of his shift left so we weren't expecting him, but Jasper wasn't home either.
I looked over at Alice who shrugged
"Did we forget something or miss something?" I asked my sister Alice didn't get a chance to answer me as EVERYONE came home, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone including Bella and Edward. Esme and Rose must have gone shopping because both were carrying various bags, I'm not quite sure where my brothers went and I wasn't sure I wanted to know.
I knew the look on Bella's face meant one thing, she wanted to know what had occurred over the weekend, in other words, family meeting.
We waited of course until Carlisle returned home. To pass the time, Emmett took charge of the TV and channel surfed. Bella surprisingly sat down in between Alice and I, while Edward stared at us in disbelief. I couldn't be sure, but I do believe that Edward was on Bella's 'list' for his Florida stunt. I couldn't exactly tell if Bella would have been better off knowing why Edward was hiding her in Florida for the weekend or if she would've been angry with him either way.
Emmett began laughing hard as he stumbled upon a movie, I didn't even need him to go to info to figure it out, the cow flying by the red truck was the only clue I needed, Emmett had found Twister. As the twister in the movie died down leaving the three actors stunned in the cab of the truck, Emmett leaned over to me
"So Kid, here's a thought would it be fun to be sucked up by a twister." He asked a look on his face that told me he was dead serious. I slapped my forehead as Bella looked down at me
"Seriously Emmett?"
"Yeah,"
"I'm sure as a human it would hurt like hell before dying."
"Yeah but what if it was one of us? I mean it's just an idea."
"Why you asking me anyways, Jasper's the one from Texas, he could probably tell you better if he's ever seen one of us get sucked up." I wasn't entirely sure if this conversation was meant to be funny or not, I could read Emmett's face he thought it was funny, but at the same time I could also see his genuine curiosity.
Jasper glanced over at the two of us from the movie and shook his head, clearly he wanted to stay out of this conversation for as long as possible. Bella however was apparently amused, Emmett and I have always made her laugh and this time was no different as she tried to hold back giggles.
"Okay well here's another thought, the end of the movie." Emmett changed subjects
"You mean the part that's still like an hour and four tornados away?" I asked and he nodded
"Yeah that, so when they're strapped in that outhouse thing and the twister comes out like roar and rips the outhouse apart leaving just Helen Hunt and what's his name-"
"Bill Paxton?" Bella answered before I could and I grinned at her, she shrugged "I have no idea why I knew that."
"Yeah him! Anyways, how the heck could they survive flapping in the tornado held down by giant rubber bands?"
"Well to quote the movie, the pipes went down at least 50 feet." I spoke up, sarcastically.
"Exactly my point, how is that physically possible?"
"It's not Emmett," I replied "its called Hollywood."
Emmett got this gleam in his eyes and I could only groan at what I was sure he wanted, Emmett tends to be pretty easy to profile and he has yet to disappoint me.
"I think we should experiment sometime. Y'know recreate that scene like on Mythbusters."
Ah yes, Mythbusters, Emmett's latest obsession, he's fascinated by the experiments those guys do and while I enjoy the show myself, I felt like Emmett was taking it a bit to far, and I hate to admit it, but he actually irked my curiosity and a tiny part of me wanted to know if what he was thinking was plausible.
Thankfully I didn't get a chance to hear anymore of his plans for the moment as Carlisle came home. He was a little dumbfounded by the gathering in the living room and looked at me first, before exchanging a look with Esme. For some reason I was automatically involved and I'm not entirely sure if I should feel a little put out by that fact or just go with the humor in the situation.
"Family meeting I assume?" Carlisle asked, a hint of amusement in his voice, Edward crossed his arms over his chest and looked over at Bella who gave the look right back to him, it was actually amusing to see Bella not giving into Edward's looks. "Ah, well, let me put some things into my office and we can all meet in the dining room?"
Edward seemed to want to delay this meeting as long as possible so he nodded, and Bella, well she didn't really have a choice in that particular matter. While everyone else trudged towards the dining room, Emmett groaning about missing the rest of the movie, even after I reminded him that we own it, I followed Esme into the kitchen.
Since Bella has become a regular fixture around our house, Esme has taken to stalking up on certain grocery items, canned goods, snack foods, things of that sort. So when I found her in the kitchen, Esme was putting some cookies on a plate and pouring Bella a glass of milk. I wasn't entirely sure Bella would be in the mood for anything other than answers, but who was I to put a damper on Esme's mothering moment.
"Oh good, Christian here you bring these to Bella, I'll be in momentarily."
"Sure mum," I replied trying not to laugh as I carried Bella's milk and cookies into the dining room. I waited for the comments to come and Emmett and Jasper didn't disappoint.
"Aw, lookie!" Emmett cooed "Chrissy has a snack!"
Jasper, who is a lot more mature than Emmett (or even me at some points) could ever hope to be, just grinned
"Going to share?" he asked in a serious tone, which didn't go well with the giant grin on his face.
I rolled my eyes and put the plate and glass down in front of Bella, she raised her eyebrow at me suspiciously, like I was trying to bribe her with cookies. Instead of explaining anything to her, I simply pointed at the cookies, grinned and headed over to my usual seat in between Alice, and where Esme would sit.
Once Esme and Carlisle had joined the table (I'm sure they were having a quick meeting in the kitchen about what to tell and what not to tell Bella), everyone kind of exchanged looks with each other. No one wanted to be the first to speak and no one was really sure where to begin. I think we were all thankful when Carlisle cleared his throat, getting the ball rolling so to speak.
"First off Bella, our intent was not to deceive you this past weekend and further more our only goal was to make sure everyone involved was safe."
"Edward's probably told you the main premise of what went on this weekend right?" I asked and Bella nodded a slight scowl on her face.
As amused, as I was with that, in all fairness, Edward had done what he thought was the best way to protect Bella and no one could fault him on that, at least not this time.
"Yes, in a cliff notes version."
"Better than nothing" Emmett snickered "Everything that happened this weekend was done to assure everyone's safety, we had to find the best way to make sure the town was safe, you were safe, and" Bella started to say Charlie's name, but I was already on that path "and Charlie, he was perfectly safe. The wolves were protecting their territory as we were protecting ours and boundary lines got a little mixed up, that was no one individuals fault, the wolves were doing what they thought was best to protect the reservation."
"It was still an risk that none of you should have taken. I shouldn't need you guys to protect me every waking minute. If I was one of you now I would be less of a liability."
"You're not a liability." Esme reprimanded gently
"of course you're not," Carlisle added
"Well, regardless if Victoria attacks again wouldn't it be in everyone's best interest if I was one of you." Bella argued
I could've slapped my forehead, Bella was completely one tracked on becoming a vampire. Even though Alice had seen it happening and even though I had voted on yes to her becoming one of us, we wanted to put it off as long as possible, that was the one thing most of us agreed on, excluding Rosalie and Edward neither of who wanted it to happen at all, each for their own reason of course.
Edward wanted Bella to enjoy as many human experiences as possible before she was damned to immortality and that was completely understandable. I found it hilarious Edward's terms for Bella becoming a vampire early, she had to marry him; the alternative was Carlisle would do it after graduation in a few weeks.
The main argument that always kept Bella thinking about her decision was the mention of Charlie. It would be easy for Bella to fade away from his life after graduations, even closer to the fall when she would be "starting" school at some far away university. But Bella's constant pushing at it happening earlier could always be unhinged if Charlie was mentioned.
We knew it would devastate him if he lost Bella early. Then there was one thing that I had considered that no one else seemed to have considered, the wolves. They knew what we Cullens were, if Bella Swan went missing all of a sudden before high school graduation there would be only one explanation the wolves would come too, she had been bitten; either killed by one of us or changed by one of us.
Personally I wasn't thinking of the treaty, after all, that sucker had been broken when Carlisle changed me, but the wolves didn't know that. All of our coming actions had to be planned accordingly; we could very well start a war with the wolves if we didn't do this the correct way. If we didn't, we might end up with a scene straight out of a 30s horror movie, the villagers storming our house with pitch forks and torches, led by a pack of shape-shifting Indians.
I felt eyes boring into my skull and looked over at the source. Edward of course had just seen everything I had profiled and it just made him that much more nervous. After exchanging a look, we both simultaneously looked over at Bella who seemed to be considering everyone's words carefully.
"There are eight of us Bella, and with Alice and Chris on our side, I don't believe Victoria is going to catch us off guard again. I think it's important for Charlie's sake that we stick to the original plan." Carlisle offered and Bella took a deep breath
"We'd never allow anything to happen to you sweetheart. You know that. Please don't be anxious," Esme added kissing Bella on the forehead
"Carlisle and Esme are right," Jasper spoke up "we know her game now, you are perfectly safe."
"Yeah," Emmett exclaimed "and seriously Bella, I'm really glad Edward didn't kill you. Everything's been so much more fun with you around."
I nearly burst out laughing at that, even with Rosalie glaring at the both of us. Alice however had this hurt look on her face, I know it was real, but she was milking it for all she could.
"I'm offended. You're not honestly worried about this are you?"
"If it's no big deal." Bella countered "then why did Edward drag me to Florida?"
"'Cause he really wanted to find Mickey Mouse?" I whispered, Emmett and Jasper burst out laughing as Rosalie's glare intensified and Bella, Alice, and Edward joined her.
"Havent you noticed yet Bella, that Edward is just the teeniest bit prone to overreaction?" Alice asked, ignoring the three of us. Bella started to argue to that when I knew I had to say my piece and be done with it. Of course, key point number one, get Bella to laugh or at least smile.
"Edward overreact? Just a wee bit m'lady." I allowed myself to slip back into my accent, it set Emmett and Jasper off again, this time laughing at my accent, but it would be worth it in the end. Once I got at least a smile out of Bella I went serious "do you know what the phrase vous êtes notre soeur' means"
Bella shook her head "no" she said honestly
"well, how about haud ignota loquor?" I grinned as Bella shook her head again "well the first thing I said was French, and it means you are our sister. The second thing I said is Latin, roughly translated it means I speak not of unknown things. So in other words Bella, calm down, everything will be fine and will work out, I wouldn't say we'd be fine if it wasn't the truth, trust the profiler, we give the straight facts no hesitation no falsehood." I paused "please don't become like Edward, if he was human his hair would be gray and falling out from all the overreacting and stress he puts himself under."
That did it, that was all I needed as Bella started to laugh a bit, especially when Edward reached over and tried to give me a push off my chair. Luckily I was expecting it and easily moved to one side so he promptly missed.
xxx
Bella decided to stay at the house for a little longer, I don't think she was really ready to go face Charlie, which actually worked in my favor.
It was not lost on anyone in the family that Bella looked extremely disappointed that she was leaving the Cullen house still human. As much as I liked the idea of Bella joining our family and Edward finally getting back to normal, I did have to agree with Rosalie about how Bella wanted to go about it, Rose's biggest issue was that Bella thought regarding her own life.
Rosalie has always been particular when she sees people taking their life for granted, something all of us know to well, so no one can really blame Rose on how she feels. I had to agree, it really did feel like Bella was taking her life for granted, like she felt there was nothing important about her human life so the only option was to become a vampire. I didn't like that at all, it felt wrong and I knew I had to say something to Bella, privately, I had to find a way to just help her to understand something.
She had returned to the couch with Edward, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper and all five of them looked up at me when I walked into the family room.
"Hey Bella can I show you something?" I asked, she looked over at Edward for a brief second before she stood up and followed me upstairs. As we climbed the stairs I felt Bella looking over at me, obviously confused. When we finally reached my room I offered Bella the choice of chairs and she took my computer chair.
"So, is everything okay Chris?" she asked as I sat down on my window seat Indian style, leaning against the window.
I was trying not to worry or scare Bella, but I had to get this off my chest, her apparent disregard for her own human life was one thing, but the fact she kept forgetting about others made me just that much more determined to talk to her.
"Bella-" I started to say
"Chris are you regretting your vote?"
"No of course not, I meant every word that I said, but I just wanted to make sure you completely understand the retributions that will come from it." I paused "how much as Edward really told you about me coming into this life?" When Bella didn't answer right away I grinned, "you know the basics right, Second World War, Blitz, Luftwaffe, Chris being an idiot?"
Now Bella nodded, unsure if she should smile at that last part, which she should've I put it in there to lighten the mood a bit, apparently it didn't work.
"That he did tell me, about how you were heading home from school, the bombing started you took cover under some rubble and were nearly crushed to death."
"Exactly, I was brought to the hospital Carlisle was volunteering at, and he took a chance with me to turn me. It was like fate was giving me a second chance, the Germans had basically picked me to die and I had the chance to live…I was a kid, who didn't look that far in the future, I saw what was going on right then and there." I paused "I said yes Bella, when Carlisle asked me if I was willing for him to save my life by turning me into a vampire I told him I trusted him and allowed him to turn me." I took a deep breath "I was near death Bella, eternal sleep was the only thing that was certainly coming my way."
"Do you regret Carlisle changing you?" Bella asked, she obliviously thought that was my purpose in the story.
I shook my head quickly
"Never, like I said Bella, my only option was death. If I had told Carlisle no, I would've died within hours. I didn't want to die, I wanted to live, I was surrounded by death on a daily basis. I lost a lot of friends in the month or so leading up to my turn. I was a kid Bella, I didn't want to die I didn't want to be just another causality the war, when someone is offering you life when death is the only thing that's certain, you will take life."
"You must have been scared."
"I was terrified, who wouldn't be, even after Carlisle started the process there was a tiny thought in the back of my head, making me wonder if I had made the right decision, was becoming a vampire better than death.. You had a taste of that fear last year when the tracker bit you, right? You felt that pain and the uncertainty, believe me there isn't one of us who doesn't remember that feeling, some just choose to ignore it." I looked right at Bella "do you know why I'm telling you all this?"
Bella shook her head
"Not really Chris,"
"There's one part of my story that Edward probably left out, that everyone tends to leave out."
Bella raised an eyebrow and looked very confused
"What's that?"
"What happened afterwards, what happened after Carlisle turned me and the transformation was complete."
"What do you mean?"
"My parents Bella, my human parents, I couldn't just forget about them. I was wrecked with guilt in the days following my transformation. As any of us what we remember about our parents and I guarantee you'll see the reaction in everyone's eyes, a look of sadness and regret as they try to remember them and are either unable to or are able to. The main difference between me and my siblings is my age. I wasn't ready to leave my parents I was still a kid. I may have talked about running off to fight in the war and to take charge as the man of the house while my father was on the front lines, but deep inside I was a kid who just wanted to stay that way. I was an only child just like you and I loved my parents and just wanted to be with them for as long as possible."
Bella had actually moved to the edge of her seat and I could see the look of sorrow in her eyes, I was hitting the exact nerve I wanted to.
"I didn't know Chris, I didn't even think-" she said softly and I smiled gently
"It's okay Bella, it's all part of the problem of being the youngest in the family. Edward was a year from enlistment age, Jasper was a major in the confederate army, Rose was engaged, even Emmett had moved away from childhood clinginess to his parents, everyone kind of forgets that I wasn't at that age yet, I wasn't even close, I was thirteen. I may not have admitted it out-loud, but I wanted nothing more than to be with my mum and dad." I paused "so a few days after everything was complete, I began pestering Carlisle. I asked him constantly to allow me to see my mother, even from afar. I couldn't grasp the fact that it was dangerous to go see her, that I might very well attack my mother. I was a newborn vampire with a thirst that was barely controlled. I countered with every argument I could think of, but Carlisle stayed firm. He knew the danger even if I couldn't see it."
"What happened?"
"I finally convinced Carlisle to at least go speak to my mother. I couldn't live an eternity with the thought that she believed I may still be alive. I wanted him to tell her I was dead." I took a deep breath "but it reached the point after he left for the city, that I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to see my mother." I put my head down. "I had this incredible guilt eating away at me, not only had I abandoned my mother during a war, but I had gone against my father's strict order to watch over her. Added to that…I had done something the last time I had seen my mother that even to this day hurts when I think about it."
Bella's confusion grew as she looked at me
"What was that?"
"That morning, right before I left for school my mother was fussing over me. Trying to get me to wear my scarf, fixing my uniform, the whole lot of it. My friends were waiting on the walkway for me, mum was trying to something off my face that I insisted wasn't there. The final straw was her telling me she loved me, right in front of my friends. I was so embarrassed that I pretended I hadn't heard her, then she said it again louder this time only in Gaelic, which was even worse in my mind. I had been teased and ridiculed relentlessly when we first moved to London from Scotland because I spoke Gaelic as well as English, I was not prepared to face that again. I waved goodbye to her and took off with my friends. My mother said goodbye to me, told me she loved me twice and I assumed I would have the chance to say it back to her and hug her when I returned home from school later in the day. I never thought that I wouldn't get the chance, that my life as I knew it was going to end and I would never speak to my mother again."
I certainly meant to leave an impression on Bella and make her think about her own future. The last thing I wanted to do was make her cry, but that was exactly what she was doing, I could see the tears streaming down her face.
"I…" she started to say, but couldn't finish the sentence.
I figured I would just finish the story, I was nearly done anyway, I had already hit a nerve, I could see that.
"Carlisle left Edward in charge of me while he returned to the city to deliver my message to my mother. I begged and pleaded with him to take me to London, so I could at least see my mother, my plan was to get to the city and talk to my mother I had it in my mind that I was super human, Superman, I could not only protect my mother, but protect London, I could end the war easily by myself. Edward of course refused to give in, he read my thoughts he knew what I wanted to really do and he wouldn't give in. So I took matters into my own hands, I bolted, catching him off guard. Of course he tackled me easily. I'm pretty fast Bella, and as a newborn I was couldnt be caught, but I was also unsure where I was and lack of direction slowed me down. Edward knew the real reason Carlisle didn't want me to see my mother and it had nothing to do with safety. I was pretty strong willed for a newborn so that wasn't the problem."
"What was?"
"Guilt." I answered "I convinced Edward with certain specifications to take me to London. He did, reluctantly and as soon as I saw my mother, from the street in front of our house and the pain on her face, the pain that I had put there. I understood instantly what Edward and Carlisle had meant by guilt, her pain was my fault. Carlisle hadn't wanted the last image of my mother I had, to be this. But I had to weigh the lesser of two evils, what was worse in my mind the guilt of what I had done to my mother before I left forever, or the guilt of what I was witnessing." I paused "I never got to say goodbye to my mother, that was the last time I ever saw her I never saw my father again. The last time I saw him was when he enlisted to the front as a medic. Both my parents were dead less six months after I joined the Cullens. My father was killed protecting Saint Paul's Cathedral when the German's began bombing it right after Christmas, my mother was dead a few months later, she just died no explanation." I paused once more.
I felt a lump form in my throat, even all these years later talking about my parents and the truth surrounding their deaths was tough.
I had done so much to separate myself from their deaths, it was a different lifetime a different world, and yet, they were my parents, my world, I had lost them without saying goodbye. I wanted Bella to understand so much, mainly, what she would give up, who would be hurt, and the loss at stack with her decision.
I wanted her to realize that her decision couldn't be rash, I 'd had no choice, she did. Carlisle had said it to me, Edward had said it to me, immortality comes with a price, you have to be willing to pay that price even if you might regret it later on, because you will regret it in some way, there will always be an inkling in the back of your mind 'did I make the right decision'.
"Oh Chris…" Bella sniffed
"Bella, I'm not telling you this to hurt you or to change your mind about becoming one of us. I said it before, you are already my sister nothing will change that. I just wanted you to realize what you will leave behind. You keep insisting that it happen right away, but you need to think of those around you who you will leave behind. Your friends, your family, you will never see them again, they will continue to live their human lives and that will include their human deaths. It's inevitable Bella. Just remember what I told you, don't take people around you for granted. I would give anything including my immortality just for the chance to hug my mother again and tell her over and over I love her and I'm sorry."
I reached over to my wall and took down a framed photograph. It was one of the few things I had recovered from my house when Carlisle and I went there the last time in 1948. A photograph of my parents and me in front of our parlor, smiles all around a serious photograph that turned humorous on account of my father. I handed it over to Bella, she stared at it, tears still streaming down her face.
"Your parents?" she asked rhetorically and I nodded taking a deep, calming breath. I couldn't cry it was physically impossible, but I still felt the emotions and the sadness, especially at seeing how Bella was reacting. I knew I had done what I had intended, I had made Bella listen at least for the moment.
"The last photo of us together, it was taken right before Germany invaded Poland, literally days before Great Britain declared war on Germany. It's the only way I've been able to really remember them, my memory is sharp, but if I didn't have this photograph I wouldn't remember what my parents looked like. You don't want to have that on your mind, thinking you have eternity to accrue memories of those close to you, 'cause you never know when it all comes crashing down."
I left it at that, I didn't say her parents' names, there was no need, Bella obviously understood the main premise for my story. Bella stood up slowly, walked over to me, and hugged me tight.
"Thank you Chris." She said softly handing the photograph back to me.
"You're welcome Bella." I replied, giving her a half grin.
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A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating, things have gotten crazy with school, projects, etc. I promise I'm going to try and keep this updated regularly but thank you everyone for sticking this out with me and dealing with it. I hope this chapter wasnt too mushy I was a little concerned about it, but I wanted the scene between Bella and Chris to occur like that so hopefully everyone enjoyed it. Next chapter up as soon as I can I'm working really hard to get it done. I hope everyone has a happy Halloween! Take Care everyone!
